First off, the ex didn’t take a single thing from you and the ex owes you nothing. That was the past and their decisions at the time.
Your business is here and now. She isn’t the one stopping you guys from having kids. That part is a silly thought and you need to get rid of right now.
You and your husband need to sit down and have a thorough conversation about how you’re feeling and what you want. You guys need to be on the same page in the end or figure out ways compromises could work. You also need to realize there is a lot more to having babies than just making them and what your heart thinks it wants. Weigh it all out.
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I’d reevaluate when baby is a bit older and I’m a little less hormonal after giving birth.
It sounds like you need to be honest with yourself. Did he express that he only wanted one more before and you just ignored him/ the topic or thought he’d change his mind? How badly do you want more children? Is it a deal breaker for you? Because it sounds like you’re already starting to resent and you need to make a change. It’s only going to get worse if it’s something that you are set on.
Also, be honest with yourself about your wishes. Would you be happy with this arrangement in the future? Especially since you’re already so resentful? Or would you constantly wish you’d had the chance to have more babies? And possibly with someone else.
I’d definitely have a serious convo with yourself before you have another one with him.
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So you knew you had kids when you married him ! His ex didnt take anything away from you! I mean this is a conversation you should have had with him before you married him
Nobody ’ robbed ’ you…of anything.
You are completely self centered and, as you said yourself - irrational in your resentments.
See a therapist and a divorce attorney…if no more children is a deal breaker for you, as he…has made up his mind after 3.
Respect that.
Then go find someone who wants to continue to breed and be responsible for more children with you…a conversation you need to have BEFORE you get married.
You’re young. You’ve got plenty of time.
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Can’t imagine why you would put something so personal on a website lady you need help
I sure hope he changes his mind. He needs to remember that he has two with one woman, so those siblings are bonded, and now he has a girl, and she will need a sibling to bond with. I cried when I first discovered I was pregnant with my 2nd, because I wanted just one. (I originally was never wanting any, so one was a compromise) im so glad I have the 2. They are the bestest friends ever, and sometimes the worstest enemies, but it always melts my heart when I see them happy together. They share so well. And I think that makes them good persons.
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I think you’re placing blame on the wrong person here. HE said he doesn’t want any more. You should be placing the blame here squarely on him, not his ex. Is it easier to blame her, yes. Also, your baby probably isn’t even sleeping through the night yet. You need to take time before you even bring this up and start fretting and obsessing over it. I don’t know many people who after 8 weeks of having one baby immediately say sign me up for another. You’re still in the harder stage of adjusting and it is TOUGH mentally and physically when you’re dealing with a lack of sleep. My suggestion is to wait a year or two, then bring this up and explain how you feel. The timing right now is not ideal and will probably get shot down immediately. It’s too soon. Give it time and be patient.
Well my husband said no more as well and here’s Mr no more lol
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Did you two discuss how many total children the family unit would have? Also he’s allowed to change his mind as he takes on more responsibility for little humans. And you’re allowed to be upset about it. Now it’s your choice do you want to have more possible children (nothing a guarantee unfortunately) or do you want your current family? What you cannot do is manipulate your way into having more that will cause damage to everyone including the kids. I would tell him if he is serious about no more fathering if children then he needs to be responsible for getting himself a vasectomy.
Take this time to work on healing your body, enjoying the new little one and embracing being a parent to 3 people. Make sure that you making the other kids a priority too.
My husband is older than me and tried the “I’ll be 30” card on me bc he wanted another baby 2 years ago and I looked him dead in the face and said “when you are 30 I’ll only be 24, to cut me off like that would hurt me. You should have thought about that before you married me knowing I’m younger than you. It’s my body and I will not be having a baby on your time.”
Wait till that baby goes to kindergarten then revisit the conversation and see where you both are…its no way the ex’s fault though at all…
No one is taking your opportunity for more kids besides your husband and I’m sure he didn’t warn you about only one one additional kid.
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I wouldn’t blame the ex at all. She didn’t take anything from you. It’s your husband who doesn’t want more kids. This is a discussion you probably should have had before marrying each-other. I’m about to turn 28 and my boyfriend is 33. We’ve discussed having a baby at the right time. I don’t really think the age thing is a real reason. He probably just doesn’t want another child-which is fine-but if it’s a deal breaker for you, then there is always the option of splitting and getting with somebody who does want another. That would probably be best, if you’re struggling with resentment.
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At 2 months, your hormones are still going to be all over the place. But you also knew what you were getting in to so I wouldn’t let resentment creep in, that’s not healthy. Let it go for a while, let yourself experience life with your baby. If he is still against more children later and you still feel so strongly then that’s a conversation to revisit, but in saying that, breaking up a family to have more kids doesn’t seem like a great idea.
Maybe you should have discussed this before marrying? I’m betting husband told you his wishes but you thought he would change his mind. Won’t happen.
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Are you seriously blaming the ex because they had kids together?
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Was this discussed before you got married? Honestly, I’d try therapy. She didn’t rob you because she was there before you and you made the choice to be with him after her. I understand it’s upsetting but his body his choice. I think therapy and venting may help you work through it.
Who can afford another one
You weren’t in the picture when he was 18 and having babies with his partner at the time. She did not rob you of anything and your resentment is misplaced. You’re 2 mo post partum let your hormones calm down before anymore baby talk with the husband. He’s also overwhelmed with a newborn again just like you, his two boys are older and he’s out of practice. Hold the conversation about future babies until at least a year.
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It’s not her fault or his. You weren’t even a thought when they had kids. Your baby is 2 months. Let your hormones settle. It’s too early to be talking about another baby in my . I have a 13 year old and a 4 year old. The last thing I was thinking about 8 weeks after giving birth was another baby. Your body isn’t even adjusted fully from having the baby. To be blunt I’d watch your thought process because if you want another baby after just having a baby and are blaming him and his ex and feel robbed watch for ppd. These irrational negative thoughts could be symptoms . When I say irrational I’m not saying at all that you are crazy or have no right to think this way. I would have open communication with him that you have been experiencing obsessive negative thoughts and don’t know if it’s your hormones adjusting or symptoms of PPD and ask him to keep it in his mind to help you recognize if you should reach out to a professional. You don’t have to tell him what you are thinking, but I do think maybe a professional would be helpful for you.
Maybe husband is stressing about finances. Babies are not cheap. He already has three. You are so wrong for resenting your husband and his ex. They had a life before you. You have one baby already. Geez wait a while. Men don’t really like a bunch of kids.
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Robbed? And that she took that from you? You knew going in he had two children so that shouldn’t even be a thought in your mind. You literally just had a baby two month ago. Kids and babies are expensive. Why not give him time to think about it?! It’s so soon. And it’s definitely his choice as well if he wants another kid.
It is selfish of him but he can easily change his mind…
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Why can’t your daughter and 2 sons be enough?
First she didn’t take shit from you.
YOU settled for a man with children and agreed to marry him knowing how he felt.
You’re pissed because you wanna change the rules and he’s not budging making you regret marrying him.
Leave it alone.
And if he’s raw dogging and you turn up preggers, it’s on him.
You keep hounding him and he might run out and get a vasectomy, leaving you with a new boatload of complaints.
Been in your shoes.
I traded those suckers in for sandals and did what I wanted without him guilt free.
Not willing to live with regrets.
That’s too on sided in his favor.
I loved him dearly but, I loved me more.
You can get another husband.
You can’t get another baby once the plumbing stops working.
Met many women filled with regrets for giving in to their husband about not having children.
And the sad part was they were OB/Guns and pediatricians.
You are such a bitch and should have never been able to reproduce. How is this any of the ex fault, she used her eggs and womb and you a grudging her? I hope she somehow finds out how dirty minded you are and keep her boys away.
Y’all can remove me from the group now but y’all know I’m speaking facts.
You kinda just need to sit back and really take in his reason why, my partner always says that he wished we met earlier in life so we could have a second child, we currently have a 3yo and at first I couldn’t understand why he didn’t want another kid until I took a step back and really listened to why and now I understand why and I’m honestly OK with just our daughter now she is happy, healthy and all our love and attention as well as getting spoiled from relatives 
she filled our hearts the day she was born
Give it time. He will probably come around.
Maybe you should have discussed that before you got married??? I see both sides. Neither of you are wrong for wanting what you want. But had you tied your tubes after the birth of your daughter and he demanded you untie because he wants a large family how would you feel??
Young couples need to have these conversations! Enjoy your daughter and help with his trust me your mommy plate will be full
What about Fostering. You get your baby craving while also helping others out.
You need to stop blaming her for “robbing you of that opportunity”. She didn’t. You’re creating resentment where it shouldn’t be. Enjoy what you have, especially after a stillborn.
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I’m disturbed and disgusted by the fact their are 11 people that left the laughing emoji for this post.
I wish I had some advice for you because you’re definitely in a tough spot. I hope you can ignore the people who are being negative about this. They definitely don’t understand what you’re going through and obviously have some issues.
Your hormones are still balancing out since you had your child 2 months ago, its not really a good time to bring that up to be honest. Plus husband is still probably getting used to baby too. Enjoy your little girl and if you feel the same way later on bring it up then. Don’t rush yourself. Your opinion is just as valid as his is. If you think it’s a deal breaker (to some it is) then you need to think about what you want to do.
You better hope and pray that he doesn’t get a vasectomy because they are usually permanent atleast in my house it was. I have 2 children my husband has 3 I wanted 3 children but it didn’t work for me. I’d probably use a thumb tack on condoms when I was ready for an other and have an oops
You can always find another man to father your second child…or you can give it a few years and revisit the issue. Who in their right mind is wanting ANOTHER baby when they have a 2 month old. Like your not busy enough and missing enough sleep? Smh. Spending twice as much on diapers and wipes and formula isn’t how most want to spend their hard earned cash. Enjoy the baby you have and cool the clock. 
Stop and enjoy this baby!
Your hormones are all out of whack. Try again in a couple of years.
My husband was the same way but once our first child started to grow out of the infant phase and he got more sleep at night than he started sending me baby pics like on time hop or Google pics and it woke my womb up. I told him it was his fault I got pregnant with our second child lmao 
Men get baby fever but not this early after bringing home a new one 
A conversation about how many kids youd like may have been beneficial beforeee getting married. Tbh 2 kids in daycare if married will be 1900$/mo… so theres also that. He is probably more aware of what children costs and maybe he pays child support already for them ?
