How can I find closure with my best friend not being in my life?

Hello, everyone, I’m not really sure how to go about this. This year will be three years going without talking to my best friend. Who I use to talk on the phone with every day bc she lived about an hour away from where I live. Then all of a sudden, she just only called me to vent about her mom or people who lived by her or her life, I guess. My daughter loves her and her child as well, and then it got to the point where she wouldn’t return my calls and says she’s sick or I didn’t even get responses back. It got to the point where it hurt our child bc she was also friends with her daughter. Ours was four years old at the time. She would cry to talk to them, but every time I tried to call no answer. But yet again, when she needed me, she called me, and I was there. It got to the point where I just ghosted her bc she finally just didn’t pick up the phone. And I got tired of always having my door open. I deleted her my Facebook Snapchat Insta. You name it I deleted her. Bc, she wasn’t only hurting me, but she was hurting my child as well. Then I get a text message from her about two days after I did that, her blowing up on me bc I did that I simply explained to her that I wasn’t going be the only person who is always their bc when I needed her she never answered. I would even pick her up on the weekends let her spend the night so she could spend time with her boy toy or whatever. When she texted saying my husband has been having an affair with one of my other friends and how I need to choose my friends wisely. But yet her living an “hour” away, she knows everything about it. Yet I simply explained to her that isn’t true bc I been everywhere with my husband and when I’m not he has a location on his phone I truly trust him with everything I have been together for nine years. Maybe she got jealous bc I actually had family who would help with our kid and well-paying job and licenses and a car. She had none of that, so maybe she truly wanted to hurt me by saying those words to me about my husband since I just ghosted her. But my question is that how do I finally find closure with her. I do miss her, but I don’t miss the drama that comes with her. Thank you for reading


Just contact her and be honest. If its not good leave it be, if both can communicate and express issues (because honestly whether admitted or not it sounds like she has some too) then it may be great again. Goodluck! Good friends are hard to come by!

I’m in the EXACT same boat. It’ll be a year in April since we stopped talking. It’s been hard. I have good days and bad. I got to a point where I knew I wasn’t going to get any closer. Deleted her off of everything and deleted her number. Just needed to move on for me. I have felt like a weight has been lifted on my heart.

People get mad when they are told their husbands cheat…if he did it isn’t her fault for telling you. Men can chest anytime anywhere doubt fool yourself.And if you don’t want to be friends
with her still find new friends it will hurt for
awhile but might be best

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You don’t have to lie to us if you trusted him his phone wouldn’t have a tracker but anyway if you don’t want to talk to her fine don’t maybe she started ghosting you because you believe him over her and that hurt her feelings


You don’t you just move on

In the same situation!!! But I work with my ex friend… AND she is my supervisor

Move on like every body is were. Do y’all find this people

I have a friend who stopped speaking to me as well. We had a blow up at New year’s a couple years ago, she stuck around just long enough to see my daughter born then 2 visits in a year and a 1/2 and almost no phone calls period. I know how much it hurts but there comes a point where you just have to say “it can’t hurt me anymore, I won’t let it, I deserve better” you still have days where you miss what you had but it fades a little each time.

I’m mean I’ve never heard so meany whiny ass people in my life

I havent talked to my ex best friend in almost a year, for things that her husband did to me. She chose to believe him over me when it wasnt the first time he had done such a thing, he done it twice before with different girls🙄 I had told her what happened and if she chose to believe him over me than I guess I’d be on with it. Only thing was that our friendship was gonna be over. And she blocked me on fb I blocked her on everything else, and changed my number. You just don’t get the closure you want…

No, you dont trust him :rofl: Stop lying​:exclamation:


This is why you can’t tell a gf about her bf or husband they get mad and don’t believe. You have to just turn a blind eye and mind your business. Cause females get funky. Just cause you have a location doesn’t mean wr won’t cheat he doesn’t have to go far to cheat.


In order to successfully break up with a toxic friend you need to understand your own value and worth. You deserve better. Once you let that ring true to yourself, letting her go will be easy. Good luck.

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I’m going to be honest. It sounds like she did know something about your husband. I honestly started thinking maybe she slept with him until you said she told you he slept with someone else. If she tried telling you and you wouldn’t listen, it’s possible she felt upset because she’s your friend trying to be real and you rejected her. Have you known her longer than you’ve known your husband? She may likely have felt rejected and like you picked a cheater over her. Her pull away from you could be because she doesn’t trust him. At the end of the day, if you want to let go…let go. But just be sure, really sure about “which horse you’re backing” so to speak.

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You sound bitter and are throwing complete shade to your so called “friend”.
Have you ever thought maybe she’s just busy and doesn’t have time? I mean you said yourself that she doesn’t have any help from her family, a well paying job, license, and a car. Perhaps she’s struggling and just trying to get her shit together?
Maybe she did only call you to vent but maybe that one phone call helped her get through the day. Again, you said she doesn’t have anybody.

You also say you miss her yet you were the one who pitched a fit and deleted her off all your social media. Why?

Or just maybe your man is cheating and he has a “toy” on the side and she can’t stand by any longer watching you be deceived; especially after she told you.

Who the hell knows but the way you’re talking about her it sounds like your friend is better off.

Move on. Email or text her your feelings one last time, tell her that you miss yalls friendship and didn’t understand why she stopped calling or calling back and walk away. Friendships work on both ends. Open your heart to other people. You’ve grown and she from the sounds of it has stayed the same. You need to focus on you and your family.

I dealt with a best friend that stolen my identity

Can your friend get or afford therapy? Sounds like she has major issues and is jealous of you. Next time she calls to vent, tell her you are not qualified to help her with her problems, which seem to have been going on for a very long time. Tell her you are willing to help her find a therapist, but until she is ready to act, you can’t deal with her complaints any more. Let her know you would be willing to do something active with her and the kids: bowling, playground, swimming, kids movie, whatever you have around where you are involved in an activity and not chatting.

If she is unwilling or uncommunicative, accept that your time with her has come to a close & go out & find new friends.

Life is about choices. Choose to love and respect yourself enough to realize that you need to move on. Lesson learned. When you allow people to use you, they use you. It’s not their fault for you sing you, it’s your fault for allowing it. Let.her.go. you are worth more than that.

I had a best friend for 26 years. The relationship became one-sided when I moved 5 hours away. She would only call randomly when she needed something. I became busy with my special needs child. Life got in the way. She called me after not speaking for almost a year and asked if she and her 3 kids could live with me. I didnt respond. At the time I lived in a 3 bedroom single wide. 2 kids of my own. One severely autistic. Therapists coming in and out of my house and my husband working nights and sleeping days. We didnt have room and couldnt afford it. Her husdand she was separated from at the time got the kids. A couple months later by friend killed herself. I have a lot of guilt about this. If you feel like you can fix it and want to, do it. Let her know how you feel

I don’t understand this post. She’s not your best friend…

Maybe shes the friend your husband is sleeping with?:thinking::woman_shrugging:


I didn’t need closure. Never will. We haven’t spoken in 6 years or longer.