How can I fix our sex life?

Just leave. If you’re this heartless he deserves better :woman_shrugging::woman_facepalming:

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He needs to go see a doctor for his p*****. And you need to get your head out of your twat. And let him use his hands his tongue and other things please you. Until he gets his p***** fixed

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Just cheat on him that’s what my man did when I lost my sex drive

I’d he on an antidepressant or does he partake in cannabis? Those can have an effect on erection and he could be just embarrassed.

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I would try everything before just leaving , definitely set up a doctor’s appointment maybe some really open communication about what he feels he needs/wants you as well. See a couple’s counselor if needed to help you both communicate effectively and work on your troubles together.

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Hpw about see a doctor with him support him let him Find other ways of pleasuring you xx

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The women in the comments aren’t very supportive; As a wife who is a diagnosed sex addict I feel your pain. I too have a husband whos sex appeal isn’t near what mine is but communication is a big help. Have I considered divorcing him? Yes. At the end of life it’s MY LIFE and I want to be happy with what I have accomplished or done. Not that I should stay in a shitty relationship because I told my husband for better for worse. You do what makes “YOU” happy; not your spouse, kids, parents, siblings, whatever. YOU! :purple_heart: hugs!

Take him to get bloods checked at the GP and get a vibrating friend until hubby can perform.

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Complains about sx life yet won’t take the offer when he can actually get it up. That’s a you problem

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Remember once you do the hurt you can’t undo it

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I mean, he can probably sense how you’re feeling which wouldn’t make me get an erection for someone that’s wanting to leave me for a potential medical issue, if I were him.

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It’s sad that you are thinking to leave because you are not sexually satisfied . You have to think that the roles can be reverse and how awful will be if he wants to leave you for something you can’t control.You should talk to him about your feelings but be gentle. Going to the urologist will be the best route. Also, the age is an issue because that’s when testosterone levels start declining in some men faster than average.

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Start with going to the doctor to see if there’s a health concern.

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If you was so frustrated you grab it when you could. He ain’t the only one with a problem

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So many mean comments. She’s frustrated. I get it. My husband made very little effort for years and the last two…zero. There are limits. If it’s health it’s one thing, but he needs to get checked and see. At least that would make her feel like he cares.

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If you can leave over this father’s than finding a solution then I’d question if you truly love him

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A woman’s sex drive peaks in their 40s while a man’s decreases. However, ultimately there is a reason. Rather it be medical or not. There’s more to the story if her first intention is to leave.

Probably low testosterone levels

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Could just be your attitude.

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Relationships are about compromise, BOTH your needs are just as important. First off, I’d be making sure he got to the drs to ensure everything is OK with him. Once that’s taken care of, if the issue persists, then its time to chat.

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Are you serious!! If the situation was reversed you would be calling him a cheating scum bag. This poor poor man his Johnson isn’t performing how it should and your just putting him down more

Depression, antidepressants, blood pressure meds and other meds can cause troubles. Being more physically active can help maintaining an erection, so joining the gym can help. Or there are pills for that. But also buy toys and get him to use them on you.

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Get your hubby help, go see the Dr. Oh and btw menopause is any time from now and if you lose your Libido you will want support too. Grass isn’t alway greener on the other side

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So unless hes stepping out on the marriage which it doesn’t sound like he is then its a medical problem like ED or Low T instead of worring about your sexual needs worry about his health mentally and physically. Encourage him to to go to the doctor it is scary for men. If their di*ks don’t work it messes them up mentally and makes them not feel like a man. Can you imagine what he feels like knowing it doesn’t work alot of the time. Do better and grow up!

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I’m sorry that you think sex is that important in a relationship that you would end a marriage. Do him a favor and leave now so he can find someone who appreciates him. My husband and I don’t do “the deed” everyday. Even though we would like to. But life is life. Our meds don’t help the situation. But we would never leave over something like sex. At least he’s not out there cheating and being sneaky.

If you are considering leaving over something like this, do you really love him? Go with him to the doctor & find out what you can do to help instead of saying he’s not doing all he can. Believe me, it’s a more difficult situation for him than it is you. Imagine how he feels not being able to perform as he used to & having a wife who is actually considering leaving because of that. I have a husband who is 17 years older than I am & he has the same issue…I NEVER once considered leaving. You may feel like he’s not doing all he can to “fix” the issue BUT honestly, there’s only so much he can do. If you truly love him, you’d be more understanding & less selfish.

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Get your self a good vibrator

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Just because he’s 45 doesn’t mean it’s not age… men have problems as young as their 20s… see if he can go to dr. There are even over the counter pills that will help.

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Omg all the comments about “take it when it you can get it while he’s up”
We can’t just be in the mood on fucking command. Y’all are stupid.
Either go to the doctor with him and try to help figure it out, or go.

When menopause hits you I hope he doesn’t leave you. Menopause has not been easy for me but my husband loves me for other things besides sex.

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See if your eligible for compensation :smiling_face_with_tear:

Why is it everyone wants to throw a marriage away when the going gets tough? Marriage is suppose to be forever! Maybe if you sat down with your husband and had a heart to heart, maybe the two of you could figure out what the problem is! Asking complete strangers isn’t helping your situation whatsoever. You said you do not feel he’s doing everything he can, well from my point of view, your not either! If he fails, you fail. If he’s successful, so are you, your a team, your 1 and right now your not acting as 1. So, get off here and try to help your husband figure out what’s going on. Be his support, his friend, and his love! Marriage is worth more than leaving someone because of sex problems. Marriage is forever, fight for it!

For 1 wow, just wow. For 2 45-50 is the average age men start having election problems. Not saying all men but it’s an average age. Set up a docs appointment. Does he know that you are sexually frustrated? Communication is very important.

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Aren’t you married? Didn’t you take those vows for better or worse? He’s not out cheating and you said he’s a good guy… And you are thinking about leaving because of an issues he had no control over??
Whooooo does that?!? See that’s why I’m sketchy about getting married, ppl are so quit to up and leave over stupid stuff… Uh maybe you should talk to him about it and see what y’all can do it help it… Ur married ur in this shit together… Imagine what he’s going threw…sheesh :woman_facepalming:t2::woozy_face::face_exhaling:

You’re going to leave because he is having medical issues? Try viagra, go to dr, try to put on something sexy and see if that helps. The one thing I can say is if he is feeling bad about it or if you are being hard on him for it his self esteem will be low and he won’t be standing up to attention anytime soon. If you truly loved him you would work through this with him not just think of leaving because of your age.

It may be ed but he could also be suffering with depression or anxiety. If you truly love him then love him but if you don’t then leave him so he can find someone who will.

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Start with a Dr. You are thinking about leaving a good man because you are sexually frustrated… Buy yourself toys.

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He could have low T and ashamed of it. If your so sexual frustrated then you should definitely hop on when the issues arises

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If he would have left or cheated on you when he was more active he would be every name in the book. Now it’s your turn, will you reciprocate??

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Is he affectionate? Does he try to please you sexually in other ways? You said you’ve been patient. I think he needs to see a doctor. Might need to think about that little blue pill.

Ashwaganda its a vitamin you can get over the counter it increases sexuao drive

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See a dr it could be a underlying health problem

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It is not her fault, y’all nd to chill. I went thru this same thing before. It makes you feel unwanted, it f**** with your mind. It’s his fault for not caring enough to at least get checked out!!

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He need’s to go to the doctor some men start having problems in there 40s. Don’t leave him over this.

It sounds like he’s trying and then when he finally has the chance, you’re not into it… like it’s only time to have sex if YOU are wanting to?? That’s horrible. Does he take any medications? If so, that could be a reason for his inability to get erect. If not, I would suggest him see a doctor. There could be many things and it could be an easy fix. Either way, if you’re not willing to go through these trials and stipulations of marriage, then why did you ever get married? It’s not like he’s screwing someone else, he literally can’t get hard.

How would you feel if roles were reversed and you were him in this??? How would that make you feel to know your spouse is willing to walk away simply because you aren’t capable of getting it up exactly when they are ready to get it on but they don’t wanna hop on when it’s ready??

One you do realize what for better or for worse means? Second how would you feel if he left you for thee same reason just switched? Third how do you know it’s not medical you’re not a doctor. Fourth your negative energy doesn’t help the situation. Talk to him, watch a movie at home, hell cook together and see what happens.

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Yeah, you’d be a terrible person for leaving over sexual problems. Find alternatives. Toys, supplements, a doctors visit to see why. Therapy even.

Don’t just immediately jump to leaving/divorcing just because he can’t always be in the mood. That’s horrible. Do you even truly him?

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My husband has medical issues and we’re only in our early and mid thirties. He has ED. Do I wish we had sex more often? Why, yes. But that’s not my priority. Leaving is selfish. There’s ways to alleviate that frustration…your husband needs support, love, and medical help. So many are willing to end a marriage because of things like this and it’s sickening and highly selfish and petty.

He is watching porn. This is a side affect

Don’t post about this stuff

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What part of in sickness and health do you not comprehend? Or does it only apply to yours?

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Look in to the pills called him. There is a website for them.

I think you’d be wrong for leaving just because of sex. If that’s the only issue then y’all can consult doctors to find the reason behind the change. Theres solutions and medication to help with this. If there’s more behind your wanting to leave then that’s another story, but you married the person, not just their penis. You should be willing to stick by them and work on solutions together.

You sound like a horrible person and he probably deserves better.

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There are other ways of performing in the bedroom. Open y’all’s self up to try different things to get the ball rolling :person_shrugging:

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I get u 10000 my ex was the same way we were 12 years apart so of course I all ways wanted sex he couldn’t keep an erection i stayed for 9 years he never got checked out he all so blamed me for not being able to get pregnant witch i believed all those years you do get tired of it you lose the love and it’s like your in this marriage but it feels more like roommates i did leave not only because of the non sex mental abuse ECT turns out i can get pregnant I’m happily 30weeks pregnant with my now super sex drive husband best luck to you

My husband is 45 and is on an SSRI medication. He has the same problem. I can tell you the more pressure you put him under the worse it is. Be kind. Be understanding

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He can’t help that. You don’t leave your spouse over a medical issue. He may be too embarrassed to seek help. Support your husband like you would want Support from him if you could no longer enjoy sex.

First: he needs to see a doctor.
Second: buy yourself an adult toy… he may even enjoy it ( mine does)
Third: contact Patty Marmann … nurse, libido expert, she will have answers

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I’m sorry, what the heck is wrong you? You want to leave because you are sexually frustrated?

  1. Masturbation is healthy. Get your own fix.
  2. Men go through this and yes, jump on it when you can (literally)… The more it is used, the better.
  3. You are selfish. SELFISH. Time to grow up.
  4. It is a medical condition. That would be like him leaving you because you were ill.
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Send him to doctor check it out

Up to 24% of men are said to have low testosterone levels. He could very well have an issue with his. I would convince him to speak with his doctor before you do anything else. I know a couple of men who are actually prescribed testosterone injections once a week.
It shouldn’t be an embarrassing conversation, I am sure they have it with patients daily. I hope you are able to work through this together. I’ve been there myself.

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It can be fixed his testosterone is probably low.

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Everyone covered it for me.

He needs to see a doctor.

You sound selfish smh

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He can get his testosterone checked and may just need some injections. It’s very common as we get older. If you have a med spa or probably even your Dr’s can check the blood work to make sure.

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“So age is not the issue”… that’s middle age and it could be an issue… but also he could be 25 and have ED issues. He could be depressed. He could have heart problems. Damn you’re cold. Suggest he goes to the doctor to check on HIS HEALTH to figure out what he is going through.
Go get a vibrator or use your hand if you’re that desperate— you’re a big girl, you can take care of yourself while he gets to the root of things.

Wow by sounds of things he deserves better, going bhind his back to slag him off then asking Facebook if your wrong for leaving over a petty reason.? Your out of order

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What ever happened to better or worse, Richer or poor till death do you part. I had the same problem but I Loved my husband. He even told me I’m so Sorry, and I told him as look as we have each other were Blessed. We had are fun that it’s ok because He is my Husband. You are Selfish and Must not Love him.

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Wow a lot of people harsh on her. She’s allowed to be sexually frustrated and I doubt she would actually leave him. She could have left by now she’s just struggling not having that intimacy in her marriage and is asking for advice. It sounds like he’s being stubborn not asking for help with the problem. Maybe embarrassment. But for him to expect her to be instantly in the mood on the odd occasion he’s hard is just selfish. Why should she just have sex when it suits him? If it’s an actual issue they need to talk openly about ways to solve it. Or other ways to make time for each other intimately that doesn’t involve full sex

Sounds like your man deserves a better wife… more to marriage than sex. Get a vibrator or whatever you have to do. Grow up

Whoah!! I guess in sickness and health doesn’t mean :poop: to you. Have you tried talking to him to ask if he’d go see a doctor, or just automatically go to wanting to leave.
If the role was reversed and you couldn’t perform, would your husband automatically want to leave you??

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First you need a reality check you sound selfish and immature asf.
Second the fact you wanna body shame a man and leave him because he cant get it up shows you dont deserve him.
Thirdly your negative ass mouth and actions are probably the reason he cant get it up i wouldn’t wanna with a greedy ass woman who only cares about herself.

Tried working on emotional intimacy?

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How do you know age isn’t an issue ? You are asking for advice, but really, your looking for someone to tell you what you want to hear.

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Also try toys, on you and him

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I’m having the same problem tbh (but I’m younger and he’s older) but leaving him did not cross my mind once :face_with_raised_eyebrow: how awful

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May I suggest getting a vibrator to satisfy your needs in between… there will come a time when sex is no longer an interest due to age. You marry for the soul and light that person brings to your life. Not sex. Don’t be weird.

Haul his butt to the doctor get some test done and see if he is healthy for the little blue pill

Selfish! What if you were I’ll and couldn’t preform? Does he have the right to Leave you?
IN SICKNESS & HEALTH!

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Have him go see a dr

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Could be a blood pressure issue…

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Is he on any kind of medication? Lots of meds can cause issues with erections.

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He could very well have some serious undrelying health issues. its sad you want to just jump up and leave him because of that… Marriage is not about sex and how many times you can do it in a day .Like you stated he is a good man. If he is a good man girl you better hold on to him… There are some mean hateful ones out there that will give you what you want alright but may give you a knuckle sandwich, or just beat the living tar out of you because you don’t say or do the right things… Get you a freaking toy if you have to have sex.

Ummmm, WOW! Leave him because of that? Maybe you’re just looking for an excuse to leave.
Ever heard of Viagra?

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Dont leave him, get yourself a battery operated toy and use it together.

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Tell him he needs to make appt and go with him.

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How selfish are you. Sex isn’t everything are y’all in love? Is there trust ?

I love how everyone is judging her for saying she’s thought about leaving him. Same people that would be disgusted if she went out and cheated. If your needs aren’t being met in any area of your life, you have the option to change that and make yourself happy

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While I know it can hurt our ego a bit when it happens, Men in their 20s have ED…. How tf you gonna say you KNOW age isn’t the issue…maybe talk to him about it? That shits embarrassing for most men to admit. Jeez have a little sympathy…

There is a pill he can take. Also if he takes any medications that can cause issues too

Help him get meds and try other forms of sex in your marriage besides penetration?

So basically you are going to leave your husband because he cannot function that good anymore? It’s called getting older, apparently you aren’t taking for better or worse to heart, see a doctor! But I would question your love for him, you are ready to call it quits over such a small situation, that with age a man has no control over? He can fix his issue medically. It doesn’t sound like your issue can be fixed :woman_shrugging:

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Convince him to see his primary care then to get a referral to a urologist. Lots of reasons can be attributed to sexual disfunction from depression, not getting enough proper nutrition or not sleeping well so he’s anxious, elevated weight, high blood pressure, to a urology problem. Get him to talk to a therapist, too.

If you really love him, be supportive, show affection, which does not automatically turn into the two of you having sex. Try to talk about what he is thinking and how you can help.

He needs to go to the doctor and have a round of blood work done. I’d be willing to be be has low T. There’s a fix for that.

As for you? I don’t know that there’s a fix. You sound like a complete bih. I probably wouldn’t want to be intimate with you either. I think he needs to see a doctor for himself and then a divorce lawyer so he can get rid of you :woman_shrugging:t4:

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No that’s not a reason to leave.

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You want people to tell you to cheat or leave. If you’re done and want an excuse to leave, use this. He’s a human and I’m sure he’s mortified that he can’t perform. You have no empathy and should encourage him to pursue the solution to what’s going on instead of looking for the door

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Well I hope he leaves u! Cant imagine leaving someone for a stupid reason. There’s so many things that can help

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Your right age isn’t the issue. You are. You should leave let some one else appreciate him.

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