How can I get my 7 year old to stay in her own room?

I have a 7 yr old daughter that sleeps in her own room but we have to stay in there till she’s fully asleep. Than she’ll get up about 2 hours later and come to our room and Wakes us up. We tell her to go back to her and she does. I’m wandering how can we get her to go bed without us having to stay in there with her? And why does she get up at night? My other kids never did this.

43 Likes

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How can I get my 7 year old to stay in her own room?

Maybe you should ask her why she feels the need to come in every night? Maybe she is afraid of the dark, or she needs the reassurance/comfort. Then when you have found that out then can you find out how to deal with the situation.

8 Likes

Does she have a night light? A bedtime routine?

1 Like

You might wanna get her checked for separation anxiety. My daughter has it. She does the same thing. Always has.

4 Likes

She could be sleep walking

Does she have a light/sound machine? My son has trouble sleeping if he doesn’t have those on.
I’ve seen the alarm clock lights as well that will shine different colors red for don’t leave your room and then when it turns green at the time you set and she can leave.

1 Like

My son did this too it was just a phase and I was just persistent with having him go back to his room I stopped staying staying in his until he fell asleep

1 Like

That’s what my sister and daughter do they will come into the bedroom and if someone says go back to bed they walk straight back to bed no issues and are out for the rest of the night

We gave up and bought a king size bed. I didn’t care who was in our bed As long as they slept !!!
It worked !

14 Likes

Give her a night light ( if she doesn’t already ) and tell her good night and I love you and walk out and first time she comes out tell her to go back in 2ed time be a little more stern and 3 rd time is a punishment … she’s old enough to go to bed by her self … my 5 year even knows that

9 Likes

My daughter is almost 7. I lay with her every night until she’s asleep. She will also wake up and either crawl into bed with us or I take her back to her room and I lay with her. This is almost every night. At first I was irritated but then realized she’s only little for a short time and there will come a day when she doesn’t want me in her room. :woman_shrugging:t2:

20 Likes

My daughter has really bad separation anxiety and was like this I bought a baby monitor and let her know I could see her and hear and also talk to her on it it helped so much she’s now 11 and we don’t do this anymore

3 Likes

I might be the minority here but I’d give her a little more time. Just a little. Maybe she’ll still grow out of it. What does she ask for when she wakes you up?

6 Likes

She certainly has you very well trained!!

4 Likes

Is she afraid of the dar get a night light

Sounds like we have the same 7 year old daughter… during the summer we just told her we were done sitting there with her for an hour till she falls asleep… we let her have her door open it took awhile but it’s working better now her 4 year old sister has no problem with it we’ve just told her she has to get use to it before the new baby gets here because it won’t be possible to sit in there with a newborn

1 Like

I let her do sleepover nights with me on Friday and Saturday (we fall asleep in my room and I move her before my husband comes to bed)

I think the sleepover nights keep her from coming to our room during the week.

4 Likes

I had one like that. I just told her what she could do if she woke up. Go potty and grab a stuffy.

1 Like

I’m not a mom but I would also lay with my kids til they fell asleep if I was a mom. You are her safe place and comfort zone. Sometimes she just wants mom and to know she’s safe. I’m a nanny and I used to lay with the kids til they fell asleep when they were younger as it made them know someone was there and they were ok to sleep.

5 Likes

Enjoy it!! My youngest is 20 and I would give anything for this time back and nighttime cuddles!!

6 Likes

Why does she need u there to fall asleep??? What happens if ur not there for her to go to bed? Short of a medical condition of some kind I dont think she NEEDS you to be there I think she wants u there and I think it’s easier to lay with her then it is to take the time to teach her it’s ok to sleep alone in her own bed. Its up to u how long ur willing to do what she wants. Either u wait till she grows out of it at 10-11 or u start the battle sooner then later uve already created the monster now deal with it one way or another!

2 Likes

My stepson was like this. We got him to start sleeping on his own right before his 7th birthday.
We keep his tv on at night because it lights up his whole room, so he isn’t scared. Otherwise, he will wake up and come in our room 2-3x an hour.

Ask her what would help make her more comfortable. Keep in mind that she is a small child, these things take time.

2 Likes

Maybe she’s experiencing night terrors. We have the same issue with our youngest. She’s starting to grow out of it now but it takes some time and lots of patients.  One thing that seems to really help is that I constantly remind her that she’s safe and that we would never let anything hurt her. I think it provides a level of comfort that she really needs to hear. I do allow her to lay in bed with me for an hour or so we’ll I read but only with the promise that she will go to her room when I tell her to. So far it’s been working. 

Train her to stay in her room all night.There 's no excuse at 7 to do that.Put you foot down,you are giving her too much slack.Parents who allows their kids to sleep with them should never started that.

3 Likes

I’m not sure if this was mentioned because I really don’t want to go through all the comments because I’m exhausted, but wearing a shirt for a little bit during the day and then placing it somewhere near her pillow for when she goes to sleep

1 Like

My daughter will be 6 next week, I bought a futon for my room for her to lay on. She falls asleep in my bed I put her in hers and when she wakes up she comes and gets on the futon that’s already made and ready for her. I’m her safe place and I don’t mind her sleeping next to me where she’s comfy. She’ll eventually grow out off it. But for now I’m okay if she doesn’t

6 Likes

We had the same issue. I straight up bribed her. Five full nights in a row without getting up (nightlight on in her room and the bathroom, so no need to wake me)and if she made it five nights in a row she got to get a newborn baby doll.

2 Likes

Just close the door and tell her to go to sleep, keep playing into it and she will keep doing it.
Tough love is tough but sometimes it’s needed.
Kids get to walk all over everyone now days.
My parents would close the door, turn the light off and tell me to get over it.
I sleep like a baby now.

5 Likes

I would lock my bedroom door at night so she can’t come in

5 Likes

One day you will miss it. If she needs your comfort now then give it.

13 Likes

My 12 yr old did this til he was 11 - yep it sucks sooooooo much. I finally had to get mean and put down serious boundaries. But he was 11 not 7. Hang in there mama!! It’s tough. Hopefully consistency helps build the pattern.

My daughter did this. I got her a highlight that I was able to play music thru, then I’d play a reaaallly long YouTube video that has also sounds/ music sometimes a rain sound with piano or just one. It helped a ton. The noise is a big thing. I’ll share a link to a similar one to ours.

Star Projector Galaxy Light, 4 in 1 Night Light Projector with Remote Control, Bluetooth Music Speaker & 6 White Noises for Bedroom/Party/Home Decor, Timing Sky Starry Projector for Kids Teen Adults https://a.co/d/2v7pjBc

You literally just tell her to go to bed? She can cry herself to sleep if she wants to do it that way. 7 is old enough to understand what no means. :woman_shrugging:

5 Likes

My daughter was like that at 5. Except she wanted to sleep in bed with us every night. Let her pick out her own bed for her room,own bedding,a night light,and new plush to guard her while she slept. She fought for first week,wanting to get back i to bed with us. I told her qll her stuff goes back to the store if she doesnt sleep in her own room.

It worked. After a week she would lay in bed watching movies in her room until passed put. When she started school,she started using her night light more, as tv had to be turned off at 8. She is now in her room and never comes in ours at night anymore. I think her having a younger sister that sleeps in the bottom bunk,while she has the top,has helped a lot as well.

Let her pick out a night light and stuffed friend to guard her while sleeps. Let her know her room and bed are the safest place to be.

Why do your children need a safe place? They couldn’t be having past life dreams!?!? I don’t see anything about what the father did in any of your post.

2 Likes

Try a reward system.

I’m on the opposite end. My daughters been in my bed forever n will sleep in hers but I don’t mind it. I would never punish her or lock my door for her wanting comfort. Enjoy it bc one day u won’t have it anymore.:heart:

10 Likes

I put a tent on my child’s bed and he has a camping light. I turn the light off after a while but he knows it’s there and the tent makes it fun.

6 Likes

Try the stars night lights that go on the ceiling in her room. Maybe she’s scared of the dark also and doesn’t wanna say. Make a fun thing out of her room for her to feel safe in the night. You are her security. Eventually they grow out of it. See if she sleeps better with her door opened or closed.

Lol I would Just make a bed on my floor and let her sleep in my room until she wants to sleep in her own

4 Likes

You will cherish these years in the future, do not force her

5 Likes

We put on some music and glow in the dark stars for him. 7 is still young.

2 Likes

My almost 6 year old does this, I use to do it as well when I was a child. Mine and my daughters reason is because we don’t like to be alone. She can have the tv and light on and still feel uncomfortable being alone. I was the same way. I actually didn’t get over this feeling until recently after being diagnosed with bad anxiety. Now I lay with my daughter every night until she falls asleep then I go to my room. Some days, like today, I wake up and she is sleeping next to me. One day she won’t need me but until then I am her comfort.

4 Likes

Toddler clock works great for my 3 year old, he knows when its red he needs to stay in bed unless hes going potty or has an emergency and when its green he can get up

1 Like

I got my son a white noise machine. After awhile he found his favorite sound. It’s turned on and he’s out in less than 5 minutes. Also has a night light.

1 Like

When my daughter was about 3 we got her fsiry lights, let her set her room up how she wanted, and always tell her that we’ll check on her in 5 minutes- thats what helped her, shes seven now and hasnt had any problems, she still has her fairy lights too, and one of those star machines

Just stay consistent. When she wakes up take her back to bed and so on. Don’t be mean or force or anything that I read in the above comments. Every child is different. I have a 4 year old that wakes up occasionally through the night. She sleeps in her own bed, but for some reason wakes up randomly some nights and wants milk in her cup and her TV on. Which we do and she falls right back to sleep. My 12 year old. He slept with me until he was 9. He came back to my bed a few times then one day just stopped. (I’ve co slept with all 3 of my kids. My youngest is still a year old, so she is the only one sleeping with me now.) When they’re ready they’ll stop. I know it can be a pain waking up in the middle of the night and going back to their room and laying with them until they’re asleep. But youre they’re safe space and comfort. If anything let them have your t-shirt and have some sort of light for them or something special they like. It won’t be like this forever.

2 Likes

I do melatonin for my daughter. Her doctor suggested it and it is natural. She gets a good night’s sleep and is better rested in the morning. No groggy side effects

2 Likes

My daughter did this forever. She’s almost 10 now and I still sit with her until she falls asleep. Thankfully she doesn’t wake up as much in the middle of the night anymore and if she does she comes and sleeps on my floor. I asked her why she would want to sleep on a hard floor instead of in her own comfy bed?

1 Like

I turn on my 7 years old’s tv to iheart radio & let him listen to music all night. He never gets up.

1 Like

I’m such a big softie…prob has to do with the fact we’re one and done but my kid can always just climb in the bed if she wants. She’s 11 and there’s still nights she’s like “can I sleep in your room” and we’re just like “always kiddo, let’s make some popcorn” :rofl:

7 Likes

Please don’t listen to the Agnes’s in the group…start in their room but make a pallet in the corner for those nights they come in…make it clear this is not for every night but for those nights they feel they need a safe spot.

2 Likes

Enjoy spending that time with her until she falls asleep. My kids are 10 and 7 and I still do this with them. I know they won’t ask me to do this forever. Granted when they wake up I usually end up letting them curl up next to me since I enjoy those snuggles and cherish those memories. They will stop when they are ready to stop.

4 Likes

She’s not your other kids, she may have an active mind causing bad dreams so may not want to sleep.

3 Likes

Separation anxiety, most likely.
Or doesn’t wanna be alone.

You can try a child’s size weighted blanket, a special stuffed animal, a night light, a form of bribery, or give up and just get her a bed in your room somewhere she can crash. She’s at least listening (for the most part) and goes back to her bed and she sleeps in her own bed for some time. She probably just doesn’t like being alone.

1 Like

Our son has very bad separation anxiety and would not sleep alone. Our therapist had us make a fake Mommy/daddy (pillow with one of your old shirt on it and a little perfume/cologne) to snuggle with. Using it and sticking to our nightly routine(bath, story, extra snuggle time) really well.

1 Like

U can try a weighted blanket maybe its anxiety of some sort. My daughter done this and she is too big to be in our bed and she would get stepped on in morning if she came in and laid on our floor because her dad wouldn’t see her with him getting up at 5am for work half asleep and she always changed where she laid so it happened all the time because she wasn’t consistent where she laid. I had to tell her she needs to sleep in her own bed in her room. So when she came in my room and woke me up id walk her back to her room and lay her down and get her all snugged in bed with a sip of water. I gave her some lovings after tucking her in and went back to my room and went back to sleep. Eventually my daughter stopped coming in my room but we still have a close relationship together. I think she’s a mamas girl but she’s also a daddy’s girl to so sweet. My daughter will be 8 and still slept with a night light but she decided on her own she was going to sleep in the dark and try it said she didn’t want to be scared of dark anymore. Each child is different so they won’t be the same as ur other kids its just finding what works for u guys. If she isn’t sleeping much she might be lacking some melatonin so u can always give her one of those children melatonin gummies on certain nights when she has trouble sleeping also. I had to do that with my kids because their minds would be running and they couldn’t sleep and would be up late and that helped with them sleeping on those difficult nights.

My 5 kids ALL slept in my bed from day 1 until they chose to sleep in their own bed/room. (Which they had from the day they were born). We all slept together in a queen sized waterbed until they were about 8-10ish. And even then they would occasionally come back to my room and sleep on the floor :smiling_face_with_three_hearts: I cherish every moment I had :heart: and now they all moved to the state where I relocated to and live within 7 miles of me :heart: We are extremely close even with the grandkids :heart: and I love it!
We are now (remarried) a blended family of 9 and some spouses- with 18 grandkids :heart::smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

3 Likes

Enjoy this time with her they grow to fast eventually she’ll start on her own

I tell mine if the sun is down you need to stay down, when the sun is up you may get up

I’d tell her to have quiet time in her room and then go back to sleep when she gets sleepy. There are waking hours and sleeping hours, and when other sleep we have to respect that.

2 Likes

Talk to her about how cool her room is and how her room is her safe space and all her own. Perhaps go with her to pic some special decorations for it that she likes with a cool night light.

I coslept with my daughter and it was hard to get her into her own bed. She is now 7. Sometimes she still gets up and will be in the couch when we wake up.

Talking about how her room is hers and how cool everything in her room is helped tremendously. Picking a “bedtime buddy” toy doll whatever ya know that is there to sleep with her too helped. Y’all have got this.

One day you’ll miss her wanting to sneak in and cuddle you. I find myself still reaching out to cuddle my girl sometimes knowing she isn’t in my bed anymore :sweat_smile:

I had this with my daughter she slept in our bed until she was about 3 then I used to lay in her bed with her until she fell asleep. The next step was me sitting next to the bed and reading a book till she fell asleep. After that I used to read a story and leave before she fell asleep and now she goes by herself and doesn’t need me in there at all.

1 Like

Try a night light and maybe a noise machine

1 Like

Rearrange her room. Do not have the bed positioned where she can see the hallway, it can play on imaginations in the dark. Get a fan and or a white noise machine, night lights, maybe soothing low soft music :notes:

4 Likes

It’s a phase. Both my boys went through this. They are just little and still need reassurance that you are still there if they need you. It doesn’t last that long if you just tell them to go back to bed and you love them.

Same…not even night does one come (twins) but I have to be in their till they fall asleep. It’s an anxiety

I would sit her down and talk to her. She is old enough to know what is going on. So I would just ask her a few simple questions to try to fix the “problem”

2 Likes

Something is bothering her and she doesn’t feel safe. Have a conversation with her about it

1 Like

Try special things for sleep, sleep mask, weighted blanket etc. my daughter has to have an eye mask to sleep.

Dream catcher and a special teddy ?

1 Like

She doesn’t have the skills to soothe herself to or back to sleep (yet). She will. Keep being consistent. Start leaving the room before she’s asleep at night after a story, hugs and cuddles and reminders you’re right there. It takes time and consistency but she’ll learn she’s safe, and will eventually be able to self soothe.

3 Likes

l Get paid over $111 per hour working from home. l never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $13659 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.

Go to This. https://IncomeGreat292.pages.dev/

Put a light :bulb: maybe she is afraid to the dark. Decor her room for a girl. Buy her a new sheets.

1 Like

l Get paid over $111 per hour working from home. l never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $13659 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.

Go to This. https://IncomeGreat332.pages.dev/

My son is 9 and he still comes in my room, now he learning to wake me up in the night to go put him back to bed. We give an award if they sleep anywhere but my room now I am rewarding him not to come wake me up at night lol.

I have no good advice to give you. My children did the same thing. But they do grow out of it. And now my Granddaughter does the same thing.

1 Like

My 9 yr old sleeps in my bed every night. I’ve got 7 kids and someone’s been in my bed consistently for 26 yrs. Lol. try and enjoy this time of closeness and bonding. It’s over way too soon.

3 Likes

Just cuddle and love her. They’re gone all too soon. Whatever it takes for them to feel safe, cherished and loved. Truly :smiling_face_with_three_hearts::heart:

My oldest did this till she was 8½. Now I’m dealing with it with my 3 & 1 yr olds

She’s 7, she’s old enough to go to bed by herself just by you telling her “go to bed”. Don’t make it an option for her to have company in the room while she falls asleep. Stop going in there and take that option away from her and eventually she’ll fall asleep.

4 Likes

Everyone saying “just enjoy it”…smh. Theres plenty of other ways to enjoy your children. A good nights sleep is very very important. Not everyone gets good sleep having children in their bed, or kids waking up in middle of night. Shes 7 years old so she is old enough to understand she needs to stay in her bed. Maybe ask her what she would like to help her feel better/safer in her room. Maybe a night light, sound machine, weighted blanket etc…

1 Like

My 7 yr old does the same we read a couple stories make sure she has a glass of water and has her night lamp on. Sometimes we listen to goodnight world by sesame street on spotify. It’s very relaxing! something like that might be nice

Have you asked her what it is that is waking her up and why she wants to sleep in there with you? Once you talk to her find a solution that will work for both you and her. Get to the root of the problem.

Maybe she’d benefit from a fun night light, or a led light strip ($5-$10 at Walmart)
behind her bed or along the underside side rail to make a cool night light. And get to pick color on the notion she stays in bed!

Monster Multi-Color Multi-White USB LED Light Strip with Remote- 6.5ft, 2m Robot or human?

I was basically the same as a kid. I’d go to sleep fine in my own bed or room. Then I’d wake up and either go curl up in a living room chair or in my parents room. I was never allowed to sleep in their bed so I’d lay on floor half under the bed, half out. Of course eventually out grew it. Only idea we ever came up with as to why was just too much space in the bed. I loved being curled up in the chair or crammed half under my parents bed. I don’t remember ever being scared, just more comfy that way. Maybe put a canopy/tent on her bed? It could make her feel little more secure in her own bed??