I seriously need help… my 8 almost nine year old has a tic disorder also a metabolic disorder and ADHD… WELL … he can’t tie his shoes. He won’t even try he wants everyone else to do it for him . I have tried an tried to get him to pay attention to how we ALL ( SISTER AN BROTHER AN ADULTS IN THE HOUSE) I have helped him one on one multiple times and I get flipping no were. I’m at a complete loss on how to help him figure this out. 
any helpful advice would be really really appreciated…
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I have to admit my son is almost 10 and he struggles to tie his shoes.
He has adhd and is easily distracted.
I just buy velcro or slip on shoes. Eventually he’ll get it in his own time.
If this is something you and him both struggle with just buy Velcro or slip on
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Try teaching with two different colors so it can better break down where each lace goes for each step of tying.
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Maybe he’s just not able to do it himself…. He might be delayed in that aspect.
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I bought my kid velcro shoes eventually he wanted more stylish shoes and I said well if I buy those you gonna have to learn to tie your own shoes first so that was his motivation.
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Stop overthinking it. He’ll learn how to do it eventually.
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Wait… my 8yo should know how to tie his shoes?
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I would just buy velcro shoes and make this not even an issue .
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Our 9 yr 9ld can’t either we buy him slip on pick you battles
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My son is 9 and has adhd. He just finally learned. It finally clicked when my mom taught him on a large rope. Then, he was able to transfer the skill.
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Same and mines nine and just doesn’t catch on and gets frustrated…but he can do other things twice as hard…lol
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Practice makes perfect!
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My son is about to be 12 and same he still doesn’t know I even went as far as not allowing Velcro shoes and didn’t help none
Buy him velcro strap shoes. Easy fix.
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Check these out
Limited-time deal: Lock Laces - Elastic No Tie Shoe Laces - One Size Fits All for Kids and Adults - Elastic No Tie Shoelaces https://a.co/d/es2WuzU
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My son also had trouble with it. We watched different YouTube videos and found one that sort of helped but he was 11 before he really got it down ok. He’s 12 now and has figured out if he just ties them once, loose, then he can just slip them on and off without having to remember how to tie them.
My middle child never learned how.( Asperger’s) He just tucks he laces in now.
Slip on shoes, velcro, etc. Less stressful that way on everyone.
SpongeBob episode on it is excellent. I know it sounds crazy but it really helped. He may struggle with stuff like that as part of the ADHD as it’s quite a complicated thing to learn. It might be easier to just buy velcro shoes for a bit as it can be frustrating to have shoes that tie with ADHD anyway. Mine could tie them but didn’t have the patience to loosen them properly until older.
I just saw a very easy video earlier. Basically you put the plastic ends of the laces into the wee holes at the sides of the shoes, this creates to lopes which can easily be tied up, YouTube easy lace tying videos
I have a 9 year old daughter w hydrocephalus that can’t either, she’s midly delayed and her gross motor skills are off!
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Buy him Velcro or stretch band laces. Don’t sweat the small shit. So many options other than traditional laces.
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You can’t push him. He will never wanna do it in fear of rejection and frustration
Do as above said try different colour laces.
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Use the shoe box top poke 6 holes ( like a shoe)and practice together make a game out of it first without telling him that he is actually learning to tie shoe
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I just do slip ons or velcro
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Shoes that don’t tie. He will learn when he chooses to.
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Buy slip one or Velcro. No big deal
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Get him velcro strapped shoes instead
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My almost 8 year old can’t either it’s not a big deal. I didn’t learn till almost 10
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YouTube videos. Watch together so you guys can learn what works for other kids and try
Get non tie shoes.
Or start with laces on a cardboard, practice off foot.
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Get him Velcro shoes. 
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I would buy slip ons and be done with it lol
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Pick your battles they make plenty of no tie shoes.
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Keep showing him the easiest way of lace ends sticking in the top holes, cross and knot the 2 loops and pull the lace ends back out and double knot done! He maybe conscious of how long it takes him with the tics so maybe get some elastic ties to replace the laces so he doesn’t need to worry about them. He’s 8. He has a lifetime to learn. Pick your battles and find an easier alternative. If he doesn’t want to do it, don’t waste time forcing him
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I don’t stress it. My kiddos are both neurodivergent and shoe tying is difficult. They wear slip on shoes. Accommodations for people with disabilities are needed and necessary. Maybe he will learn later. No need to cause unnecessary frustration.
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Get them velcro or slip-on shoes. Maybe by a book so he can practice.
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Slip on Vans. They have plain colors and really awesome designs as well. Vans are amazing. (Or look-alikes if too pricey)
My step son doesn’t really know how to either so we just get him Velcro
There is no actual need to tie shoes. Just get him slip on or velcro
Also-my neurological 9 yr old with no disabilities can’t tie shoes very well.
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Get some shoes with velcro fasteners.
I used a paper plate w holes and put string threw but the trick that works is 2 different color strings and tea has him the normal way . Once I changed to 2 different colors all my kids got it with in 5 mins!! My kids are 5,6,7 and 8
My son is 19 and in college never really tied shoes right. He said he was busy studying. He got scholarships he was salutorium.
Have u tried the rabbit hole of tying the shoe much easier for people, my partner can’t tie his shoes due to a disability he has/had. And the rabbit hole is how he does his. He finds it easier also with long shoe laces. Not short ones.
Have u tried buying a board in a shoe shape and has holes and you can put the laces into it think there all coloured boards and laces u can get. Maybe buttons might help.
Velcro might be easier then laces.
Best of luck 
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You stop being so fixated on what he “can’t” / “won’t” do. You listed off a tirade of hurdles that he deals with everyday and you are worried about him tieing his shoes? Think outside the box and get him a different style of shoe until he’s ready to learn. New Balance makes a shoe that has a little twist knob on the side that tightens them down and look much better than velcro. Then take a deep breath and try again when you aren’t so flustered or frustrated. It’s okay to not be ready to learn something new.
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Replace the laces with elastic lock laces. There are more important things in life.
My son with ADHD had a hard time learning to tie his shoes. He actually hid it from everyone that he knew how to tie his shoes. He’s not great at it and sometimes it takes him a few tries to do it. But I still make him at least attempt it a few times before I step in. I just let him learn at his own pace.
My almost 8 year old can’t tie his shoes either but he’s so stubborn he doesn’t want to learn and I am trying so is his dad
We’re having the same trouble at our house. My 7 year old has ADHD and will not even try to tie his shoes. Also forgets what we taught him almost instantly. We’re doing velcro for the time being since it creates such a high stress situation. 
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He’ll learn when he’s ready don’t push him so hard… If not tie them or Velcro!
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Don’t be so helpful. If he wants to go to play outside, he’ll learn
My daughter didn’t learn to tie her shoes until she was 11, my son is 6 and does ok timing his shoes, but the school actually told me he’s not allowed to have shoes that tie at school… its also listed for this upcoming g school year too no lace shoes…
There is a cardboard shoe thing that has shoelaces which he can use to practice
Buy him velcro or the slip in shoes. It’s not worth the aggravation and stress on you both
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Stand behind him and tie shoes that way he see the way to tie them if you teach him while in front of him he sees it backwards it easy to go behind him and show him it helped with my son and took only few times
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This is how we taught my son at 8. He wanted to learn though. It’s also not a big deal to just not buy shoes that tie lol.
Skip to 1 minute 40sec on this one, she just talks alot in the beginning lol.
Same way, just a shorter and more to the point video lol.
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We had to get my kids a book off of Amazon about tieing shoes and came with a cardboard shoe for them to understand it. It just wouldn’t click
I had the same issue with my son. I spent so much time trying to teach him, but it often ended in an argument. We even got him a set of lacing boards. He’s left handed and we’re all right handed, so that was kind of a struggle too. When Covid hit, I threw in the towel and bought slip on shoes. That way his Teachers wouldn’t have to help him. He’s now 10 and still wears slip on shoes, BUT now he’s at least trying to tie things, like the drawstring on his pants and such.
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Just but shoes with velcro, that don’t tie
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I have elastic laces on my shoes no need to tie. I got them when i had a stroke
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I would get him shoes with no laces. Some things in life he will need to learn to adjust to, so let life adjust to him when you can. He doesn’t need shoes with laces. He can get slip ons, velcro, zippers, backless, sandals there’s all kinds of footwear for people like him. He can learn to tie shoes later if he wants, it won’t hurt him to not learn now. It isn’t a measure of his intelligence or ability to succeed. He’ll be fine.
Coming from someone with ADHD.
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Make him sit until it’s done. Chances are he knows. It’s just that you keep doing it for him
My son has DCD Developmental co-ordination disorder (DCD), also known as dyspraxia, is a condition affecting physical co-ordination. It causes a child to perform less well than expected in daily activities for their age, and appear to move clumsily. Pick your battles and just buy him shoes that don’t tie. Obviously teach him but it’ll take more time.
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Buy him slip ons. Buy him Velcro. Is he healthy? Focus on the positive. Kids with learning disabilities have almost all negative responses at school and socially. You’re his only advocate. Focus on the good, celebrate the good, make little things that truly don’t matter a thing of the past and low stress. Pick your battles. There are things he won’t want to learn that he NEEDS to. Tying shoes is not one of them as there are so many options through life for shoe choice.
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My 10 year old son who has adhd asd ticks and dyslexia, he really struggled to do his shoe laces, I get him the sticker shoes.
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He’s neurodivergent and probably has issues with fine motor skills. My youngest son did too and we just got him slip ons or Velcro shoes until he was finally able to tie on his own. I wanna say 3rd grade? It’s not that he doesn’t want to, he can’t and it’s frustrating for him too so he defaults to getting you to do it and ignoring any attempts to learn. He’s probably embarrassed that he can’t do it and bringing up everyone else y’all know and telling him “well THEY can do it” is an absolute self esteem killer. He feels useless and “wrong” because of this. I too am autistic and have ADHD and Tourettes. I’ve been there. I learned later than my peers how to tie, I guess I was 6 or so.
Mine also had a hard time with legible writing, and still does at 23. Had nothing to do with intelligence or laziness.
I’ve been there myself and also with my youngest. He’ll do it eventually mama, don’t make a big deal out of it 
You know to be honest there are plenty of adults these days that don’t wear shoes that actually tie up. This is one of these pick your battles things.
My son is the same way I don’t push it eventually he will learn
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Perhaps it’s a skill he just can’t do. There are lots of different lace alternatives.
It’s important that he knows how to tie his shoes…but you can transition him into it by getting him ones that don’t tie for awhile.
My daughter did this. Didn’t even want to try. So I said “no problem… no tv or tablet or friends house until you start practicing. Not in trouble, no timeframe, no arguments. We just have to learn to prioritize what’s important but it’s totally on your schedule.” It took 7 minutes and she was tying her shoes.
Buy shoes without laces
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When my middle son went to kindergarten, on the first day of school, the teacher untied all of the kids shoes . She said she did not have time to tie shoes all year . Needless to say they all learned to tie their shoes lol
A good pair to of Velcro or slip ons will solve all your problems.
He’ll tie shoes when he’s ready.
No need to make going somewhere, traumatizing.
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Get him a sensory board. Or make one. One that he can use when he needs his hands distracted.
Have locks on it ( eye hook locks ) a set of laces, things that will help him learn with fine motor skills and to concentrate to be able to do it.
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Let him trip and fall. He will either fall, or tie his damn shoes! These kids! Wow
Try getting him shoes with the Velcro straps
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Just go and buy him slip ons and velcros it not that serious. My daughter is 33 and can’t tie her shoes but she has a Master’s degree and makes 6 figures a year. Pick your battles.
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When my middle son went to kindergarten, on the first day of school, the teacher untied all of the kids shoes . She said she did not have time to tie shoes all year . Needless to say they all learned to tie their shoes lol
Dont push him. I pushed my son and he refused to wear shoes. Thrn one weekend he was with his cousin anf he came home and said mum i can tie my shoes. Be patient. My son has adhd and odd
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VELCRO. My daughter hated tie on shoes, she only picked slip on. Why does he need to tie his shoes
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Do you own an apron? Ask him to help you tie a bow. See if he tries. My GS doesn’t have any disorders and just did not want to tie his shoes. Boys… lol.
My oldest didn’t tie her shoes til last year she was 10 turning 11.
I’m not going to judge but he should of learned that in pre school. But he will learn in time so in the meantime buy slipons if he won’t try don’t make a big deal out of it.
My 10 year old just learned. He was the same way and I bought him tie shoes and refused to help anymore. He finally got the hang of it 
Get shoes that don’t need tied.
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Pick your battles lol 
get him the Velcro shoes for now
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Mines 10 and he doesn’t have time for all that 
My daughter is 8 and can’t tie her shoes. I don’t worry about it. My older children (19 and 22) both worked it out eventually. It’ll happen in time. There is no set date or time for when it falls into place for them. Be patient, keep trying and remember, make it fun. Getting cross and losing your temper just puts more pressure on the child. Take a step back. I can almost guarantee he won’t be 22 and unable to tie his shoes.
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I have the same problem with my 12-year-old autistic son. He refuses to even try or pay attention when we teach him and wants it done for him. We are switching to velcro at the moment so that it’s not a frustration for him trying to learn.
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Maybe he’s not refusing. Maybe he learns differently and you don’t know how to teach him? It’s not the end of the world. He’ll park when he’s ready. Get him shoes or laces that don’t need it. Don’t shame him ever because that will just make it worse. It’s really not his fault.
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Get him shoes that do not have laces.
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Mines 14 and still can’t tie his shoes correctly but idk how he does it but it works the same as tying the trash bag his way looks so hard lol
they sell fake shoe w laces to help kids learn or they used tp years ago ha
Make it seem fun. Try taking his hands and using them to tie his shoes. Do it for him then untie them and have he do it. Tell him that in life when things are difficult to do we don’t just say “I can’t do this” we keep trying and practicing and at some point what was difficult before becomes second nature. Also you could create games and activities where he has to tie things like he does his shoes so it is fun plus the repetitive movements will help him learn.