You can’t but tell your boyfriend it needs to stop or your leaving
Truly save your energy and value yourself. Don’t let her determine where you stand in anyone’s life. He chose you and thats all that matters. I am dealing with something similar except my husband died in 2018 and my boyfriend nows family is pretty threatened by me still loving and honoring my husband. It’s been a true nightmare including their lack of respect for my children. I had to cut it off. He can go see his family whenever. We just don’t join. He can’t choose his family but I can choose my battles. They aren’t worth it. Anyone making you feel less then isn’t worth it.
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Move on! A man who decides to quit his job before he has a better and also his Mom doesn’t like you. Not worth it. That will cause problems forever and any children you have with him too. Get out now!
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Why are you still there?
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She will never respect you unless your boyfriend put his foot down to her and he never will if he is a mama’s boy
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It’s not going to get better
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Don’t stay or leave because of people you’re not in a relationship with. And she will never respect you and it’s not you, it’s any woman he will ever be with because she is his number one. And because he let’s her and doesn’t set boundaries with his mother when he’s in a relationship it will not get better.
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She never will, it’s time for you to move on
- you can’t
- leave now before it gets worse
- marry the sister
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Well 13 years later I am getting a divorce and this is one of the main reasons. His mother/family had destroyed our marriage and he allowed it to happen. This lady has said some awful things to me and I have heard a lot more she has talked behind my back. From day one I wasn’t ever gonna be the girl she wanted him to be with. I mean I had my own home, a job, raising my toddler and super independent. She swears I am a gold digger though. To bad when I met him he didn’t have much and was living with his aunt. So that wasn’t and isn’t true. Now I run my own business and doing all the above including raising our other 2 children. Still never good enough. A few months back there was a “misunderstanding” or that’s what he said and it all came back on me with his family. I didn’t even know about the situation until I got a text from his Sil (which Involved some hateful words) He had lied to them and threw me under the bus instead of being truthful with them. I decided then I wasn’t gonna be a part of that family any longer. None of them have boundaries…and he is literally so afraid of standing up to them.
Let’s not even talk about the fact that my (our) children get treated so much different because I am their mother…
Walk away dear…
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She probably will never like you. And I would think about the relationship with him. Especially quitting his job before he had another and not even talking about it with you. Time to leave. He probably did talk it over with his mother though.
Do whatever is best for you.
Date the sister , she sounds nice 
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You can’t. Either accept it or move on.
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It’s not going to get better. My ex-mother in law was like this, contributed to the break up of the marriage, then moved on to treating his new wife like mess. It’s best to get out now if he won’t stand up for you.
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It will probably never change. Sorry.
She will probably never accept you. My MIL still hasn’t accepted me and I’ve been with my husband almost 11 years. Needless to say his mom and I haven’t talked in 3 years when she left the state!! I’m glad I have a husband who stands up for me he barely talks to his own mom now!
I see this type of thing all the time, especially on r/JustNoMIL and
r/relationshipadvice on reddit. It doesn’t change. He will never stand up to his mother because he likes to be enabled. His Mother will always enable him and no matter who he dates, she will never accept them. It’s a common toxic relationship and low key emotional incest. She will try to control your wedding, your birth, try to raise your kids, and try to inject herself into every aspect of your relationship. Any disagreement, no matter the context, will always be them vs you. He’s not even working. Send him back to Mommy and you take care of you. Best of luck…
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If he won’t say anything to her how she’s treating you, then let him have his Momma:woman_shrugging:t3:
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You can’t she will never except you she won’t ever except any girl she feels her place is being threatened. And he is encouraging her because he allows it time to let him go girl you deserve better
Always a mommas boy.
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You can’t. Run! She will likely never accept you and will get more comfortable disrespecting you as the time goes on.
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My mother in law was/is the same way. After 21 yrs together and married 20yrs this September. She is finally realizing that I’m never going away so she has accepted my presence but not me entirely yet. My husband realized her gaslighting habits and started speaking up an defending me. This literally started happening in the last year now. She is threatened by you bc you’re in her eyes stealing her baby boy from her. Mammas boy relationship is trying and can be very weird too. I’d say if you can get the sister to help you point out the mothers gaslighting. My one sister in law an I are close and she would say something everytime her mother would gaslight and she caught her. She wasn’t very secretive about it just no one was brave enough to tell her off for it. But now we live 15 hrs away from her and 5 hrs away from my mother that we live happier than ever before. Still have disagreements but that’s normal.
She’s not going to accept you . You either just leave , or deal with it, but you need to run 
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You’ve been living it two years and he hasn’t had the balls to take mommy off that pedestal… hun it won’t change unless he wants it to and it don’t sound like that. If the sister really loves you she’s gonna understand you can only take so much and still be in your corner when you leave.
Its sad,she will never change unless her son stands up to her and tells her his wife comes first now and if she doesn’t knock it off she won’t be allowed to come to your home. Its doubtful your hub would do that. So you either accept you will always be second to momma,or move on.
She never will. I say leave him but keep his sister as a friend and let him and his mother be someone else’s problem. 
you need a man not a toddler stuck to his mommas tit.
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Honey ignore her, when she sees you are okay with the way things are, be happy regardless of her and it will irritate her so much she will in time want to be in your life. I promise 
Being with a mommas boy is impossible. You’ll never be good enough. And if you marry him, you’ll basically be marrying his mother also. I’d get out the situation now. You can still always be friends with the sister without being with her toxics brother and mother
If she is old school, the fact that you guys are not married and living together could be to much for her to except. It was not excepted back then to live together out of marriage. Some people will never change their beliefs on how they were raised, and that definitely was not ok when she was being raised.
Sounds like you need to re think things…can u imagine that as a mother in law or grandma to ur kids if u wish to have them? Can you really imagine that man as ur husband? A husband checking with his mommy?
You don’t. You tell her very bluntly that she needs to respect you as his girlfriend. She’ll get what she gives and if she doesn’t like it, then maybe she should change her behaviour. And if that doesn’t work and your bf throws a " you’re disrespectful to my mama " tantrum, it’s time to leave.
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She isn’t going to and she doesn’t have to and you shouldn’t let that bother you. She doesn’t like you because she can’t control you and that’s a good thing. Just enjoy your relationship and if you aren’t enjoying your relationship then pack up and move on now before kids get entered into the situation and make it a little harder than it is. Right now it sounds like you are more of a mother figure instead of a partner. Don’t fool yourself into thinking you are happy. I had a boyfriend that hadn’t cut the apron strings yet. Everything was always so much more work than it had to be. It was exhausting. I thought I loved him, but I was always being questioned in my own place by his mother and I finally had enough. After I walked away from him and his mother I bumped into them about 6 months down the road and it was the same nightmare but for another girl and she’d actually gotten pregnant and the mother was even worse with her than she was with me and I thank my lucky stars I noped out of that relationship. I found my now husband and 30 years later I couldn’t be happier.
Leave stay friends with sister.
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That’s a fail… him listening to her over you… it won’t change … 
I agree… RUN!!
Just imagine having kids with him … if he can’t stand up to her now it’s not getting better!! You deserve more!!
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You can’t. Don’t even try.
I lived through my parents in the same situation. Your bf’s sister may love you because you take the mother’s attention off of her. Have a calm rational conversation with your bf and tell him until he can get his mother to accept boundaries, you’re leaving, and quietly do so. Anytime it starts again, simply start packing your bags. Actions speak louder than words. What you accept you condone. And if you’re there, arguing or not, you’re accepting it.
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Just like the show momma boy Leave & fast
His momma ain’t the problem HE IS reread that he had to confirm with her. Girl he’s always going to put her before you
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girl run.
mommy boys are headaches
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Anyone else think of the movie “Monster In Law”? Just me? Ok. I’d say try having a conversation with her and tell her how you feel, find out why she treats you the way she is and what can be done, maybe ask the sister what’s up with their mom and why she won’t give you half the chance? Or watch Monster In Law and take notes?
Don’t leave the man because of his mom that’s what she wants just let it be it’s his mother she she raised that man you love just be nice to her enough if you don’t like her she always going to be in your life maybe she just feels like she’s left out I’m a mother of a grown up son lol a only son
Move on you are in a dead end situation
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The thing about mamas boys is they haven’t had room to grow up and be a man. Their behavior is enabled by their mothers and they have to re-learn what’s “right or wrong” in many situations. Don’t let her be the one to break your relationship with your man BUT let him know that his mother disrespecting you and your relationship is not okay and if he continues to allow it he will lose you. He needs to understand that he committed to the relationship between you and him not you, him, and his mother.
Leave. My ex mother in law treated me like shit as soon as he put a ring on it. She told me I didn’t have a right to care if her son died, tried to convince him my autoimmune condition was fake, and tried to convince him I treated him like shit and her only evidence was 1) I’m smart 2) I convinced him to go to therapy. I wish I was joking.
It’s not fucking worth it. You deserve better.
You can’t make her like you. She is not the problem, he is. Move on and let him continue to be his Mama’s boy.
You can’t. Move on. Can’t ever come between a mother and her son. You are never going to be good enough for a moms boy… Find a real man who will stand up and defend you against everyone. Treat you like the way you deserve to be treated, with respect and love.
Everybody has a right to like ir not like someone. Dont sweat it.
If he doesn’t see the issue and wont put a stop to things now it’s just going to get worse. You gotta decide if this is how you want to live for the rest of your life.
She’s never going to respect you! He’s never going to stand up to her or put her in her place regarding you! If you’re tired of the drama, leave! You can still have a relationship with his sister!
You’re in a dead end sweetie pie leave him
Leave. You cannot compete with a mama’s boys’ mama. You need a man that has clear boundaries between him and his mothers relationship and his romantic relationships.
Run don’t look back…EVER!
It’s time for you to say bye, Mama boys NEVER change and trust me you don’t want to make hey your mother in law because it will only get worse! Get out before you bring a child into this horrible situation
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You had me at “ how can I get mother of bf to accept me”
I already knew the answer.
You CAN’T get her to like u. She will never like you! She will always look down at you and treat you like trash!
Treat u that way behind ur back even when u feel things are going good. I’m not saying this to be rude. I’m saying this Becuz it’s true. U could be amazing , financially well off, put together, amazing cook, gorgeous… she will always find some shit to talk about. She will talk shit if she thinks your better than her.
Program his mind to believe that you don’t matter and gaslight you. U won’t be able to make her happy or accept you.
Why???.. Becuz ur with a mamas boy!
He runs off to her and complains to her about you. Putting u in bad light. That’s why he doesn’t listen to you when u confront him about her being too nosy.
Why??? Becuz he values his mothers opinion more than yours. You don’t count. Your not as intelligent as his mother… in his eyes.
If you are totally amazing , u will not ever feel it or celebrated Becuz she will be totally jealous of u.
U can waste ur time arguing with him or her about how important you are. But why??
Stupid right?!?!
Leave him!
Get yourself a man not a boy.
You can’t change ur bf either. Drama .
I know u bonded with his sis. But that is not going to save this rotting relationship down the road.
You can still stay friends with her.
But leave him!
Coming from experience with a mamas boy. I didn’t know why his mother was acting fake with me. It took me a while to figure out he was lying about me. Blaming his faults on me. Complaining all the time to her ( spending time with my other kids was for my court order parenting ) (spending time with my mom)
Once I found out the truth that he was always putting me in bad light-Left him.
He still runs to her for all answers and complaints. He lives with his parents (moved back when separated) he has a new gf and had a kid with her and still lives with his parents (gf doesn’t live with them) he barely got his license cuz he had his parents drive him around. He’s almost 40 yrs old.
They don’t change.
It’s idiotic and pathetic. His twin brother is the total opposite. So I’m just saying not every guy is the same.
I’ve been married THIRTY YEARS & shes still a thorn in my side. She won’t let go of her only son the 60yr old golden one. She’s 82 still going strong, her parents didn’t pass away till they were 98 & 99 swear. From my calculations from my side of the family and how old we are when we die,(mid seventies) my mother in law is gona out live me 
. RUNNNNN & DONT LOOK BACK !!! IT’S A LIVING HELL!!!
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Oh & yes the sister loves you because the longer your around the mom stays out of her personal relationship. Sorry just GO b4 you have a nightmare grandmother for any children you might have with him.
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You can’t. She is a toxic boy mom. Your boyfriend thinks it’s okay and normal because it’s been that way his whole life. You will always be trying to pull your boyfriend from his mothers tit. Do yourself a favor and 
sweetheart.
You could possibly sit down and have a heart to heart with her. Let her know your intentions with him and how you feel towards him. If you see a future respect his mother but have boundaries with her. He has to also set boundaries with her for your relationship. Mommas boys are hard but you can gain respect from her if you try hard enough. Just let her know you would like to sit down with her and talk. Talk about your differences and how you might be able to fix them. You also need to talk to him about feeing disrespected and if he wants a future with you he will start putting down those boundaries and putting his foot down out of respect for you. If he can’t do that and refuses then you need to leave because it’s not going to change. If he doesn’t respect you his mother never will.
I would say RUN, been there done that. Throw the whole man away and just run 
If she don’t like you now for what you try and do for her son and then trying to take the time to get to know this woman, nothing will make her like you.
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You can’t stay in a relationship with a man because you like his sister!
If he isn’t willing to acknowledge what’s going on, you have a couple choices… you can speak up (to his mother) and defend yourself, but be prepared for a more strenuous relationship. You can suck it up and accept that being with him means this is your life. Or you can walk away and find someone who values you and stands beside you.
Why are you still with him. He doesn’t respect you, involves his mother in your relationship ( Is he five?). You can still be friends with his sister. You need to find a grownup, he’s got a way to go before he gets there.
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If she hasn’t after two years…. She’s never going to. You have to make the choice if you could like with someone that would be in you life forever that hates your or not. Personally, I’d leave.
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Love trust me been there not worth the headache let his momma have him
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You can’t make anyone accept you or like you.
I am glad that his sister loves you and you get along but staying with your boyfriend because of her isn’t logical and just an excuse to stay with him.
If he allows this behavior from his mother now and you aren’t even married I can’t even imagine the nightmare if you two have a child together 
He is enabling his mother.
The red flags are jumping at you girlfriend!
Leave him.
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Dude 12 years of trying to make that weird lady love me. It’s in their genetics to be guarded over there sons. Some woman have strong gentics for that. N act like they want to marry there son. Dude my mother in law tried to convince my husband to leave me n his kid n go live with her n be out of state. She told our kid her sons deserves to have a good life. Wtf… what about your son making a good life for his kid.
l get paid over $190 per hour working from home. l never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $17975 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.
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He will have to put his big boy pants on and let her know that you are not going anywhere. It took awhile for my hubby to let his mom know I was it.
YOU can not change another person
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Sounds like you need to watch the show “I’m in love with a Mama boy” that show alone will show you that you must Runnnn🏃♀️
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Judy Russell I came here to see if anyone said this. When I read this all I saw was he was the problem.
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You can’t. Stop trying. If her son wants her for his wife(mother). Let them have each other. You will be happier in the long run. Let him go, now.
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This sounds like a him problem, not a her problem. Nothing will change until he puts his foot down and sets some boundaries. Loving and being close with your family is amazing, but if you’re going to be his partner he needs to be on your team and expect everyone to respect you as that.
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Your problem isn’t his Mom. Your boyfriend isn’t showing you the respect and letting his mother know she needs to be respectful to you. If she doesn’t think you’re that serious and they are so close, maybe she knows something you don’t 
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In the Bible it states that a man marries his wife and “leaves” his mother and father…  that’s physically emotionally mentally everything….
Do you go to church with your husband? I’m asking because you could probably get a counseling appointment with your pastor and talk to him and he would be able to talk to your husband about his role as the man of the household and how to handle his mother…
if you don’t have a regular church to go to you you could still do this by calling and setting up a counseling appointment with a local pastor I would make sure it’s nondenominational, Calvary chapel is a really good church. 
The mother is only doing what your husband is allowing, because that’s how he grew up he doesn’t know any better or he doesn’t have the tools in his toolbox on how to fix it and set boundaries. 
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You can’t change a Momma Boy! So I’d run, far far away. If a guy can’t make a decision on his own and has to ask his Momma… that should tell you something!
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You can’t Don’t even try
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Either leave him. Or start calling your mom every time y’all fight. 
I’m joking, sorta. that’s petty.
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You tell him to man up and tell his mom to stop or this will never work
Don’t worry about getting her to accept u, the relationship is between u and ur man, not u, ur man, n his mom. Some moms are just like that n they’ll never accept u how hard u try, no use wasting ur energy on it
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Young one, get out now. Things won’t change as long as Momma is around, and she has control. It’ll never him and you- it will be him, you and momma.
If he dont want to work you need to run the other way as fast as possible. It’s not a healthy relationship for you. Life is to short to be miserable. Get out!!!
Well you can’t force someone to like you but you can make sure that you don’t give her any " ammunition " to use against you. Now I’m not saying bending over and not voicing your opinion. Just do it smartly when you do. Do it in such a way that when she tries to twist it, it makes her look petty. And if your BF won’t stand up to her on your behalf, well I’d be rethinking my relationship. If he’s not man enough then she will rule both your lives as long as he lets her. Tell him to grow a pair and man up. A man true man would not allow anyone to disrespect you. Good luck it sounds like you have some hard choices to be making.
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You don’t. Quit forcing it. There will be people who don’t like you in life and that’s none of your business
You can’t force anyone to like you. And you shouldn’t waste your time trying to be accepted by her. You’ll never change their relationship either so give him back to her.
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Your bf should be the “only reason you haven’t left the situation yet” not his sister. His momma may be a bit much but she isn’t your problem…he is.
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Been there done that. Never again
If he won’t tell her to back down than you need to leave. Because he will always allow her to treat you like that.
She’ll never change and will only get worse!
Date the sister 
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I had the same problem & was miserable for 20 years. She finally went too far & he saw through her manipulation. It still was a nightmare but I won. She died.
He is his Momma boy. Let her keep him. It won’t change.
You really can’t. Just walk away or you will have to argue with him all your life.
Trust me, the family will make your life miserable. Living testimony of that one!
Stand up for yourself. My mil hated me. I let it go for a long time. After a while I just laid into her. We didn’t talk for almost a year. Then we had a break through. Don’t let her in your head. If you want this to work you need to be strong enough to let her know you’re not going anywhere
Get out of it!! It’s only going to get worse
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My mother-in-law couldn’t stand me until I had a baby and then I was the cat’s ass against love me and that baby so much his name is Brian he was everything to her so I intern was also I’m not telling you to have a baby I’m just telling you that things change and sooner or later she will accept you as long as you last for a while maybe she’s expecting you to fail question mark we gotta remember she heard you fighting
You said it yourself honey! He’s never going to change!!
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