How can I get my grandson to go to school without breaking down?

Before my son started kindergarten last year i made a post in a local mom group asking if any other children would be in kindergarten at his school. Over the summer they played and when it came to the first day of school he ran off with his friend with no issues. Maybe find some kids in his class that live near you and have them play outside of school, it may help with his anxiety about leaving you if he has a familiar face in class.

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After all hes been through it sounds to me like separation anxiety. In other words it will take time for him to transition and adjust. Eventually things will get into routine and better for you both at the school drop off. Its all about consistency and reassuring that you will be there to pick him up after school.
You’re a wonderful grandparent. Bless you and your family. :heart:

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I draw a heart on my sons hand, and tell him that if he misses me he can look at the heart and know I’m always thinking of him.

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I am in the same exact position that you are in. Raising my grandson since he was 7 mos old. He started pre k last week. My advice is… Have a conversation every day about how you are always going to be there no matter what. Every day keep telling him how much you love him and will be there waiting for him that your not leaving him or abandoning him. He needs reassurance every day until he feels comfortable. Don’t feel bad it’s a normal process and the first two weeks or so is always tough. It will get better. Your doing an amazing job! :heart:

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What does he say when you ask him why he doesn’t want to go to school? Sounds like more than separation anxiety to me. Maybe bullying?

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Poor little guy.  he’s been through so much and starting school can be traumatic for any little ones but given the details that you have provided I think that this behavior is very typical. The best thing you can do is put on a happy face when he’s going into school because if you look worried he will worry more. You can cry when your out of his sight line but it’s important that you hold it together and reassure him that school will get easier and you will always be there to pick him up every day. 

It’s so awful, my son has always battled anxiety and getting him to stay at school was so difficult and upsetting. I tried to give him incentives to do ‘happy goodbyes’, whether it was to get a lunch order on a Friday, or something else that might inspire and encourage him - it didn’t always work but often when I’d remind him of the happy goodbye award we were aiming for, he would try so hard to keep his cool. Lots of understanding and calm talking. He did go through spells of having attitude over being made to go to school and we would discuss this after school when he was remorseful - I’d let him know how much I loved him but I didn’t love that behaviour and it made me sad. My older boy had issues being left at kindy for the first couple of weeks but soon settled in once he came to understand the routine. Hang in there, it sounds like he’s really lucky to have you both and I’m sure he will settle down soon​:blush::blush:

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Talk to one of his classmates. Have them wait on him outside and walk him in the classroom.

Sit him down and explain everything about to happen. Do this each day eventually he’ll see the pattern and it gets easier.

Get that baby into therapy, now! He’s had so much go on in his short life, he’s most likely overwhelmed.

It sounds like he has abandonment issues and separation anxiety.

Get him a therapist and contact the school. They (should) have resources and specially trained counselors to help.

What you can do is hype school up. Tell him about how he’s gonna make all kinds of new friends and learn so much and become so smart. Hype up lunch with his friends and recess. And remind him, as much as possible, that you’ll be there at the end of the day to either pick him up from school or get him off the bus.

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I think for some kids 5 is just too young. My daughter started kindergarten during the pandemic and online school was nothing short of torture for the both of us. She also cried the entire 2 5 hrs for her “pre schooling” right before the pandemic. She ended up repeating kindergarten when she turned 6 and she exelled. I also have to note there is one steady constant child who she has gone to school with since preschool. Just by luck and fate, ge also repeated kindergarten and is now in her first grade class with her again and he is very supportive of her social anxiety. She never spoke to him until that second year of kindergarten but he geld her hand in school programs and would wait for her at the hallway so she didn’t have to walk to class alone. I have never met his mother so this kid just is a special guy who went out of his way to make her feel welcome and not alone and afraid. Maybe your grandsons teacher could pick the right peer to be that person for your grandson. Someone who can hold his hand, so to speak, and have a buddy that looks out for them. He just needs to find that one good friend at school and then school will be something he looks forward to. But it could also just take time. They won’t cry for you forever. Which is both a comfort and sad.

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I’m going through this as well. My son started kindergarten, and he went to pre-k for the very end of the year in May and loved school, and the past two mornings he’s been taking his clothes right back off before it’s time to head out the door. He’s autistic and is going to a special school district that’s not in our district so he has to get up at 5:50 and leaves the house at 6:55am and it has me worrying my head off because he is about 85% non-verbal still.
We are going to turn the television off a little earlier tomorrow like when it’s time to get him dressed so he’s not trying to ignore what’s going on at the moment. It’s so hard when this happens. Hugs.

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You should be able to spend an early part of the morning in his class to help him adapt.

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My son was like this for Pre-K he had never been away from me. It was absolutely heartbreaking. The teacher’s aide had to literally pry him off of me. He did great the first few weeks but after that it all fell apart. They said once I was gone tho and he settled in he was fine. It was just that initial drop off. I would sit in my car and cry for a good 30 minutes before I could even drive. We ended up having to move from the only home my little dude had ever known literally two weeks into school. It was just such a huge transition being in the middle of moving and then having to drive him an hour to school. It’s probably hard on your little guy because of all the different transitionings he’s went through. You are the only thing that has stayed solid in his life so obviously he’s not going to want to leave you. Id talked to the teachers and see how he does once you’re gone. Unfortunately but fortunately because of covid he ended up not doing his second year of pre-K and had a year off with me and then started school when he was 5 He’s now in first grade and last year with kindergarten you could see in his eyes that he wanted to throw down and not go but we no longer get to walk our children to class we literally have a pickup and drop off line so it actually made it a little easier. Like I said Id talke to his teachers but I think it’s completely normal I see a lot of little kids every morning crying and not wanting to get out their cars… I would say just because of the things that he’s been through that may be some type of counseling or therapy to help him work through these big emotions that he doesn’t understand how to deal with… bestest luck I know how hard it is…

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This is pretty normal(so far) separation anxiety. Make sure to ask about his day and how he liked playing with what the most that day etc. It’s very hard. I just went through the same thing with my daughter. Hang in there. I do agree with getting him some possible counseling to help deal with it. Especially after his dad leaving he may have some extra things to work on with separation anxiety.

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Perhaps volunteer in his school that way you can be in class with him and he can slowly begin the transition of being in school

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I take my kiddos to get a treat their first week of school. Especially when they started kindergarten. I told them how proud I was and that every Friday for the first few weeks we’d go get a treat like ice cream or Starbucks.

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Try having one of your daughters (his favorite) walk him into school while you stay in the car and see if he does make a difference :heart::heart: — before leaving the house in the morning say your goodbyes then so when he gets out of the car with her don’t say anything

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Bless his heart. When is his birthday? If he is young starting school he may be too immature. Look at waiting another year to start school. I taught K for 20+ years.

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Sounds like separation anxiety and given his little life troubles I’m not surprised. Maybe talk to his teacher about going in the class with him an slowly backing out of the room as he pays less and less attention to you being there. Sometimes that helps break the negative association with leaving you for school.

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HOMESCHOOL HIM!
If you are home & have the opportunity, keep your boy home & follow a state accredited online school.
Connections Academy was amazing for my daughter.

Some kids just can’t with normal school & there’s nothing wrong with that, especially this young & with the emotional side of things.
Do what’s best for him, not what society seems normal. & Clearly people dragging him away when he clearly doesn’t want to go cannot be good for his mental health or yours. Schools are not the “safe place” they once were, so weigh that heavily.
If he’s deemed a “problem” right off the bat, he will be treated like a problem, which leads to more problems.
Seriously consider homeschool :heart:

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Goodluck, my daughter did this the entire kinder year. Including running out of the building. It never got better. The counselor would wait outside for her and help but she still cried and wouldn’t want to let go of me every single day. She’d cry tears of joy when I’d pick her up.

Now we are in first grade and she’s doigg by a lot better. I know longer walk her to door I do car drop off and I think that makes the drop off easier because it’s quick and less hands on. She still hates going but she’s not running out of the building.

Poor baby, he may be scared anxious and have separation anxiety after all he’s been through. Maybe counseling can help and let him take a pic of u or something that comforts him to school. Best of luck.

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Drop him off and don’t sit there for 20 mins. If you leave he will start to go in with no trouble. Alot of kids do this even with both loving parents. Usually after a week to a week and a half they are fine. Encourage having friends, being a big boy, doing things he doesn’t do at home and let him know you and grandpa will always be there when he gets out of school and want to hear about everything he did that day.

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My son had horrible separation anxiety when he started pre-K last year. I bought us both bracelets so that when he’s not with me he could think of me.

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I feel for you your husband and grandson… going through the same with my granddaughter had custody of her since she was 5 her mother my daughter cared more about drugs and her father has his other kids he cares about our granddaughter Marissa only has myself and husband who do for her no other family she feels so unloved and unwanted I struggle to keep her emotionally together… it’s hard raising your grandbabies your heart breaks for them and you worry how they will do mentally as they grow older… my grand is 13 now and she is a little better but she still cry’s and wants to know why her parents don’t want her or care about her birthday or Christmas or hell school clothes… she doesn’t see her mom anymore been a year and half her dad pops in when it’s convenient to him but couldn’t even come to her birthday and lives in the same town but his other 2 kids live very nice in a big house and they don’t go without but Marissa does and her dad says he can’t even pay $50 a week in child support!! So just wanted you to know you are not alone and I’m sending you good vibes and peace over your grandsons heart and mind… it’s hard raising grandkids but just know that people are out here going through it with you and I’m here to listen or talk hit me up any time…

Sounds like anxiety, I’ll probably get Karen Keyboarded for this, but my childrens pediatrician told me I could give my son a low dose cbd gummy to help him, that it’s natural and will not hurt him. I’d ask your dr first, but it worked for my son until his schedule was routine an he was use to it.

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Don’t drag out drop offs.

My daughter has awful anxiety and used to do the same thing but it wasn’t until 3rd grade. The year duty started a reward system with her… if she got out of the car without a fight and went into the building, he would give her a sticker or candy or something. This went on the whole year, not all the days did she get the reward but he was always ready in case she did. Talk with the school about your concern. Don’t stay at drop off. Once hes with another adult, LEAVE.

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It could be as simple as separation anxiety. Did he go to nursery school?

First I applaud you and your husband that’s a hard thing to admit that your child made mistakes and now your taking responsibility and not allowing him to continue to wrong your grandson! 2nd he definitely has desperation anxiety and who could blame the poor baby :heart: it was hard to get my youngest to go to school because she was only with me but we started a treasure box we went to the dollar store picked out some fun little toys snacks and drinks things she normally wouldn’t have and put them in a rubber made bucket and everyday she went to school she got a prize out on Fridays if we had a really good week then we got two she absolutely loved it my bigger kids even got excited and would do extra chores to get a prize lol best of luck :heart::heart::heart:

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My son was just the same. It was awful and broke my heart a little bit more every day.
In the end I did have to stay with him each day for a while . I waited till he started to play then I could slip out. He will get better once he is used to it.
Maybe get a member of staff to be 1 2 1 with him. That’s what we did with my Ben. It will get better, I promise.

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9 months seems young to remember much of anything but those feelings are real. Not feeling safe not feeling loved having anxiety of not knowing what is happening or why people who are supposed to be the most important people in your life are coming and going or doing things that hurt or scare you. I don’t know if the courts recommended it but child counselors sometimes help(bad experiences make me say… They don’t always help) but in some cases they can at least help the child express what they are really feeling. If he is extra attached to you and maybe less attached to grandpa(your husband) have him drop him off may eliminate some of the anxiety walking away from him rather than you since you are his safe place.

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There are also -early learning programs you can look into. Smaller scale to get him “ready” instead of just waiting for him to adjust. I agree, he may be mentally “not ready” they have Montessori programs that are a great alternative as well! Everyone matures differently and seeing as he’s been thru so much already. You might wanna try another outlet to socialize him in a smaller setting so it’s not so scary next year. Good luck and god bless you for your heart.

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hell get used to it. patience. my 4 year old fights to go in school and he been going since tue. you gotta drop off say i love you and leave. and they do great during the day.

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I would tell his teacher all he’s been through and see if she can help take a little extra special care of him :heart:

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It takes a month for them to adjust

Sounds like abandonment issues. Can you see if you can sit in class with him for a few days to ease him into the school experience. Also he needs counseling.

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I would do all goodbyes, hugs, etc before leaving the house so drop off is pretty much like a tuck and roll lol situation. Stay consistent with it and it will get better. Also a counselor may be really beneficial for him…our daughter actual sees a pediatric forensic psychologist for her anxiety and it has helped tremendously…they do counseling and play therapy :grinning:

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Is there something he really wants make it a reward for going to school

My daughter had a really tough time with daycare when she was 3. I cried daily for a month wondering if I’m a terrible mother.
Consistency was what helped us. Routine.
It’s not a choice, it’s just the way things are, and mommy will be there every day to pick her up.

One day when I picked her up she ran up to me and proudly announced that she made me something and she found the star picture she colored and I almost sobbed with relief knowing she was going to be fine. After that day things were much easier.

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Speaking as a child of trauma that is separation anxiety. I did the same thing through 1st grade and then I left the school, twice, to go home. Talk to a child psychologist. The poor boybhas been through a lot and maybe feels like he will get abandoned at school ?? Im sorry to read this and sending love to you and your grandson. I pray it works out for him amd he feels better about school. Youre doing a good job. Thank you for taking care of him when hos parents couldn’t.

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The problem is he hasn’t been properly socialized. Kids need time away early on to learn how to be independent. Is there someone else you can ask to drop him off. Kids usually act out more with their parents than anyone else. Also, just a quick “goodbye” & “I will be back when u are done” is sufficient… don’t linger it makes it worse!!! Pack a small picture of you in his bag to look at if he is sad. I am a childcare provider & see this all the time. I assure you teachers are used to it, and it will pass eventually. Just stay consistent!

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Sounds like your grandson has been through a lot trauma & abandonment. He may have PTSD. First I’d talk to the school social worker. She may have better ways to help him ease into it instead of force. It might be a better option to pull him out of K. Put him in a preschool or playgroups so he can get used to the setting & structure but at a slower pace. Kinder is a lot of pressure. Even more so than when my 22yo was in K.

I love the book “kissing hand” I’ve read it to all my kids the day before preschool, kinder & even higher grades (because they had younger siblings). I still do the kissing hand with my 3rd & 5th graders. It’s just a tradition now. Making beaded bracelets or necklaces together can help too. You wear the 1 he made for you, he wears the 1 you made for him. You can poke a hole in a bottle cap with a hot pin or nail. Put a piece a paper with a “kiss” on it, draw a little picture like a heart or put a ring picture of yourself it in it. That way grandma is always with him.

I would seek therapy for him. He’s been through a lot in his short life.

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I was in a similar situation with my now 6 year old grandson. I also have guardianship and he has lived with me since he was three months. When he started kindergarten and it was time for me to leave I looked back and I saw the tears and fear in his eyes. I went back into the classroom gave him a hug and told him that I would be back in two hours to pick him up. I made sure I was early. The next day there was still the anxiety but his teacher let him go to the office to call me at lunch time. After about a week, those calls became less and less. My grandson is now In 1st grade and loves to go to school. For my grandson, it was all about making sure he knew I was always coming back to get him.

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He will adjust. Some kids just take a little longer. Maybe ask him about the kids in his class and his friends. And asked if he is excited to play with them. Make it fun

My best advice is to stay consistent! He will begin to see that he comes back to you and he will also start making friends… my youngest son was a momma’s boy and quit school on his 3rd day of kindergarten and politely told his teacher to get him a ride home because he was finished!! He’s 26 and lives 4 blocks from me and I see him daily and he did graduate high school!! Hang in there and know it will get better!!

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maybe there is a reason, other than anxiety, going on. issues with other students, teacher?. maybe a conference with teacher, how is he once in class?
ask him why he doesn’t want to go onto class…

Mine is the same just starting pre-k, but we are on second week and he has only cried one time…lol super big accomplishment here. We have resorted to him holding one of his little stuffed babies (a mario bros toys) til he gets to class they have him put it in his backpack. I take him like 5 minutes before the bell rings and tell him I’m super proud of him for being brave, a quick kiss and high five and release. I try to rip that bandaid off fast bc seeing the kids around him who are having a tough time, crying with the parent just holding their arm, hugging and wailing, seems even harder to me.

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I had the same problem with my son…I gave him his blankie to take to school. Problem solved. Maybe a favorite teddy or toy. Or your jersey.

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The crying is “normal”, he wants his independence but at the same time wants the security he gets from you. Hang in there Grandmom, it’ll get better.

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Alot of 5 year olds have meltdowns when they go to school in the beginning. Just stay consistent with him he will adjust kids are resilient.

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if he’s never so much as had a sitter the whole time you’ve had him it’s probably more of a separation anxiety. my oldest went thru this. a lot of little kids go thru this. it’ll take time but as he gets used to it, it’ll get better.

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He will adjust but for my I feel like psychologically this is damaging to a child. My son loved kindergarten but cried every single Sunday and after long breaks. It was heart breaking to watch him be so upset. I ended up talking to his pediatrician who spoke with him alone and she basically told me that some children just aren’t ready at 5 to attend school. Sometimes they need an additional year to mature emotionally to be able to handle the changes.

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Have you tried letting him bring a stuffed animal? And talking to him about it before hand, letting him know what the plan is and what is going to happen and that he can leave his stuffy in his cubby and tell his teacher when he is missing you or feeling sad? It will be hard for a couple of weeks.

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Maybe some counceling for him would be a good start

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Counseling for your family. I feel bad for him too. Counseling will help him long term also. He probably has separation anxiety.

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With the inconsistency of his dad coming and going out of his life it’s been traumatic for him. YOU have been the only stability he has known and he is afraid you will leave him too. My grandaughter has gone thru a similar situation and now at almost 8 she doesn’t want to see her father and we are not going to force her to. I would suggest a child therapist to help him understand his emotions. Poor kid

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Just went through this with my daughter. We saw her doctor. She recommended anxiety meds and counseling. I didn’t want to jump to meds. The counseling helped with ideas on how to help keep her mind off of missing me, but we still struggled. We are now on Zoloft for anxiety and I will never look back. Best decision I ever made. Also, talk with the school about a 504 plan. This will help with accommodations during school when he starts feeling anxious!

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My 4 year old granddaughter starts next week. My heart breaks for you both. We can only walk her to class 1st couple days then it’s drop and go. I don’t advice bc I’m worried of this myself. Sending virtual hugs and love.

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Stay consistent. Develop a relationship with his teachers and keep him away from his dad.

My son was still doing this up until grade 1. He’s doing online schooling since grade 2 and he goes back in a couple weeks. Pretty sure he’ll still do exact what you describe but he’s 8 now and strong so they won’t be able to drag him in…which is usually what they had to do before​:sob::sob:I know exactly how you feel and it kills me

Your grandson has anxiety and most likely ptsd from all the chaos in his life. He needs therapy sorry to be blunt. But your grandson has been thru so much in his 5 years that most adults don’t go thru on a daily basis. You need to look into therapy for him and also you need to reassure him every single day that you’ll be back to get him. Make a reward system up if you have to. Tell him if he can go to school with breaking down he can get a treat or sticker after school and keep doing this. They also have school counselors so see if they’re willing to work with him also. Maybe drop him off a little later after all other kids are inside or drop him earlier where there’s not many kids. Crowds make anxiety harder especially for children. He has anxiety about you not coming back because the two main important people who knows are his parents have consistently let him down and abandoned him and due to their abandonment of him has your grandson scared that you’ll leave him also.

Reassurance
Therapy
Reward system
School counselor

Those are the main things that will help him transition to going to school without melt downs each time. Yes some days will be harder than others but it’ll get easier. Also give him something of yours to put in his bag that he can go look at it or hug etc.

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I know some schools are so deathly strict on it. But have you ever seen those kid smart watches??? There’s one from T-Mobile that I got my 6 year old and during school he can only call me and other designated people and send texts, voice messages, etc!! It came really in handy for both of us since he has NEVER been away from me since birth. I only recommend getting one if your grandson can grasp that he should only send you texts/messages in the bathroom :sweat_smile: I occasionally get a “I love you mommy” messages during the day when my sons using the potty. It makes both of us feel 10000 times better and it’s what’s working for US.

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My 5 yr old son started Kinder last wed, it was a big transition for him because he was with me 24/7 and never been with a baby sitter , it was heartbreaking seeing him cry dropping him off , the minute he would get up to get ready he would cry, as of now he still gets some tears out but he’s making progress, so far what I’ve done is I talk positive about school encouraging him that school is fun that he is going to have lots of friends to play. And we always tell him we always come back to get him. We also said that if he was good and would stop crying we would reward him with one big toy. My son is very attached to his dad so we bought him a toy that symbolizes his dad he always takes it in his backpack we tell him that daddy will always be in his backpack , you can try maybe that would work? get something for him that’s meaningful and he can always take in his backpack , also send a message to his teacher, my son was seating with kids who where crying asking for their mommy and so my son was crying too , when he got moved to a different seat he was so much better. It will take time but promise you it will get better .:slightly_smiling_face:

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I haven’t read all of these so please forgive me if this a repeat of other’s suggestion.
Your Grandson is too young to be in kindergarten. Boys mature slower than girls, and if he just turned 5 last month, he needs a year of preschool to mature.
Since he has had to deal with unsettling Parental situations, this may cause him to have separation anxiety. He may need some support from a Social Worker or Therapist.

I am a Teacher, and know that the sooner you’re able to help him know he’s not alone, the safer he will feel being at school. I always suggest to Parents that anxiety isn’t unusual and actually common when the Child hasn’t had any prior separation from their home life. Also, emotional maturity can lang a bit behind when there has been emotional trauma in the Family.

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So at first I was thinking ask him why he doesn’t want to go to school. It could be something simple that either needs to be explained to him or addressed with the school. Still do this and ask the teacher how he is once he’s in class and throughout the day.

But, as I read on, you may want to think about having him talk to a counselor, something like play therapy maybe. He likely remembers the interactions with your son still and maybe leaving like this is triggering something. Maybe it’s simply separation anxiety from you.

And as a side note: you’re awesome! Not only taking him in, but also drawing boundaries with your son for him.

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Counseling would absolutely help, in my opinion. Is there maybe another parent/guardian at drop off that you could maybe set up a play date with? If he could make good friends outside of school maybe he would be excited to go?

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Maybe wait another year to start k just bc he’s 5 and at the age to start k some kids just aren’t ready especially for the ones that never been away before you can see if it may get better in couple weeks but if it don’t I’d pull him out of k and put him in part time few days a week in a pre k school then he can get use to it and start next year
My heart goes out to you
Did you ask the teacher if he’s ok once he’s in class or does he cry all day in there too if he does then I’d pull him out so he’s not struggling all time with out you
Good luck either way

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With some kids it’s just harder on them. My son started daycare around 14 months and cried daily for a month when I’d drop him off. Some kids are more prone to separation anxiety, especially when they’ve had parents be inconsistent in their lives. It will get better. Just reassure him that he will have fun at school and you’ll be there to get him as soon as school is over. Once he realizes that you always come back for him it will be easier on him.

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OK now we all know the history, You NEVER once said you asked him why he cries when he goes to school,

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It’s pretty normal my girls were like this to.but they were with me 24 7. So morning were rough sometimes I had to get the teacher to pick her up crying and carry her to class when I told her I loved her and I’d be back and she’d have so much fun.

It gets easier, my second daughter was probably the hardest tho. But 2 months for her and it was fine

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My daughter use do to this and then she started to take the bus. I called it the “magic school bus” because she was excited and happy about taking the bus and there was no more screaming fits.

Have him tested sounds similar to my son or could be something else my son is 6 and he is autistic mildly but he would do that or try to run away from school and the teacher and parapros would have to run after him and he would meltdown. Had him tested found out hes mildly autistic and got him into a better school that will work with him and help him. He has the same teacher for this year and hes more excited out school now

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This was my son in jk. He never went to daycare because of a medical diagnoses. The first month was super hard. Lots of break downs screaming not to go. It broke my heart. I almost pulled him out but with talking with the teacher and giving it abit more time he ended up loving school and drop off became a breeze. I did keep him home on the days he was just too emotional to go. I sent a picture of us so if he was feeling sad or missing us he could look at the picture. I also drew a heart on his arm and told him when he pushed it I would feel it.

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Have you asked him why he doesn’t want to go to school? It’s possible there’s more than just not being with you that frightens him.

Its so hard… :sob:
My suggestion… Stop hanging around… Its hard i get it…but if you dropped him off and just left… eventually he will realize this is what he needs to do…and that you will always come back.

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Talk to your grandson. Why is going to school so hard? I unschool my kids, school is very traumatizing. Maybe it’s too soon for him? Talk to your grandson. :heart:

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This is something I would address with the school. My oldest was put on an IEP in kindergarten and they were required to specialize his services. This can include something for behaviors and they should be able to set up something to smoothly transition him in the mornings. Maybe they need to have you take him to the counselors office to start the morning or a sensory room with a para for the first 15-20 minutes of the day. My highest recommendation would be to speak with the school, counselor and special education services at the school.

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All the school if you can join him for a bit and sneak off when he settles in.

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If he just turned 5 then it sounds like he’s very close to the cut off for being old enough for Kindergarten. Both my daughters are September-November birthdays so they will be some of the oldest kids in their class. My eldest will be 5 in November and she’s in preschool this year. It doesn’t sound like he’s emotionally or mentally ready (which is completely okay!) for this grade and should do preK again.

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Talk to his teacher. How is he during the day? Is drop off the only breakdown he has? Kindergarten is a big adjustment. It may take a bit but it will get better for him.

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My 3 year old just started PreK. We start early here in FL. At first he didn’t want to go and would throw a fit every time I dropped him off. Now, we are in the third week and he can’t wait to go to school and see his friends. No more crying and no more fits. Maybe you just have to give it some time.

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This is why kids are soft and brats, they have never get to experience real life before somebody comes and rescues them. Life is not easy, let them learn that early and you won’t have a kid hiding in the basement playing video games at 35 never leaving home. Just saying

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Look at what has happened when other adults have had him. Maybe talk to him and teachers together. Talk to him in private, ask him why he doesn’t like school.

Hold him back one year. It’ll do a world of good. You can get him part-time into a Prek class to get used to the idea of going

It’s normal for some kids. My middle son was like that. Just be strong & he’ll get the hang of things eventually. It’s just new & scary to him but he will adjust with time.

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My daughter is in first grade and she says she still cries for me at school. These babies just love and miss us and it’s a hard transition for them to go from being with us all the time to being away. They’ll get used to it eventually

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I would definitely put him daycare for 12 months so he has time to get use to it. My youngest sometimes doesn’t like me to leave so I will hang out at her preschool with her. They asked me if she will start kindy next year as she is 5 next year( her sister went to the same daycare and started school early)
But I don’t feel my youngest is ready for busy kindy yet. So I have decided to keep her in preschool for an extra year

Sounds like severe separation anxiety. All the people he was supposed to depend on bounced on him. He doesn’t want you to leave either. His world is uncertain, not knowing if he’ll even see you again after you leave. Please, get him some therapy.

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Sounds like your his safe place and is struggling to be without you. Definitely anxious he maybe thinks your not gonna come back (because of his parents). But also it could just be simply he’s nervous about school lots of children have to be dragged in, it’s horrible to see. My older sister had to be dragged away from my mum from 5 -10 just cause she didn’t want to be away from her. I hope rhis sorts itself out. Also speak with the school so you know what he’s like when he’s in school x

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It sounds like he’s gone through a lot already in his very short life. I know some people say young children don’t need therapy, but they absolutely sometimes do.

I would recommend seeing if you can get him a referral to see a therapist. It will probably just be some play therapy and talking at his age, creating a safe place where he feels comfortable to talk freely, so that they can figure out what’s going on in his little mind, and then help him process all the big emotions he’s feeling, teach him healthy ways to handle things, etc.

Therapy would likely be very beneficial for him. Good luck. :purple_heart:

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Maybe the teachers could find him a buddy, to meet him when he gets there, and walk in with him. It will get easier…

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My son had never been to a babysitter or day care either and acted the exact same way. It took a couple weeks, maybe a month to get into the routine of it. School is a big change. He will get used to it. Try reaching out to the teacher and seeing is theres any ideas she has about helping with the morning transition. My sons teacher would have him go into the class before the other kids and i would wait at his window so he could wave and say good bye and blow me a kiss. Its very hard but just keep calm and say you have to go to school, this is not a choice, its time to go into school now. Eventually he will gwt comfortable with his teachers and it wont be a problem. Good luck :heart::heart::heart::heart:

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I’m glad he loves you so much and is happy to spend his time with you.
Perhaps it is separation anxiety.
My youngest, 4th was a bit like that. The kindy let me hang around, and help out, which I enjoyed as well. He would go off playing after a while. And over time I’d just go after a while, tell him goodbye and that I had to go to the shop or something and that I would be back.
Best wishes to you all :clap:t2::hugs::hugs::+1:t2::blush:

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My daughter went through the exact same thing from prek to 3rd grade every morning was a full blown out melt down. She has really bad anxiety about school we had to get school councler, teacher, school nurse, principal, myself involved with her being at school. She needed 1 on 1 time in the morning to collect her self an certain classes she had a buddy friend to keep her company to help. It was so hard sending her off crying everyday but this year is so much better so far. Keep going you got this just remember its whats best for him in the long run just give reminders you will be there when he gets out an lots of love at the end of the day

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9 times out of 10 within the week he will know it’s routine and will make friends and get excited to go . It’s so hard to drop them off when they are screaming to stay with you . Keep doing what you’re doing . Maybe get one of the other little kids that he spends time with to meet him at the gate when he arrives to make the transition easier . Best of luck :slight_smile:

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Think he may panic about being left there and that you won’t come back. Tell him that it’s so he can have fun and make friends, to learn new things, that you will always be there to pick him up :heart:

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He is afraid you will not come back! He has his mother walk out of his life and his father in and out ! I hope you keep his father away from him for good now, but the little guy is scared it will take time for him to get use to you leaving him and knowing you will come back to get him! He should maybe get some counseling it may help Good luck!

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He’s not ready. Take him out and start him next year.

I think most kids go through this especially if they’ve never been away from us. My son went through it in kindergarten & my nephew who is in kindergarten is going through it now. My nephew is fine untill it’s time to walk into the building. You just gotta reassure him that you will always be there to pick him up after school. It’s so heartbreaking leaving them there but I promise it will get better. When my son was having a hard time I gave him my hair tie to put in his pocket & told him that when he starts missing me or feeling lonely to put my hair tie around his wrist. That he has something of mine to remind him that I’m always with him. It really helped him get through the day. I also prayed alot cause it was so heartbreaking having to leave him. Maybe try the hair tie thing it can be anything of yours a necklace/ bracelet. Good luck!

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