I have two children with my husband, and my mother-in-law has always had something to say about the things we do. Both of my children are teenagers, and so they sometimes get an attitude with me, and I get one back. I refuse to allow them to treat me badly. Well, my son got upset and yelled at me as he was walking away. He told me to “shut the * up.” Then he went upstairs and started texting her, and even though she didn’t know the whole story, she told him he could come live with them. These are my children, and they will not be going there. She doesn’t understand that she is making things worse for us, and it isn’t any of her business that goes on in the house. Am I wrong to keep my kids and myself away until she fully understands boundaries??
Be firm and tell her exactly how you feel. She needs to respect you as a parent
Keep your kids away from her she is toxic!
Your husband needs to set boundaries. That isnt your job to set her straight. He needs to put her in her place and demand respect from her. I’m so sorry you are having to come to facebook for advice. I pitty you 
The bigger issue is that u allow ur teenagers to speak to u that way. I would knock my kid out if he told me to shut up let alone tell me to shut the f up. I demand respect from my kids. As for the mother in law, you need to sit down with her and ur husband to address her putting her two cents where they don’t be long. This needs to happen respectfully.
The day my boys talked to me like that is the day they loose all freedom, phones, game system etc.no communication to gramma no issues…
Oh hell no! Your husband should be setting her straight!
Keep your kids away. Set the boundaries and don’t let her manipulate her way back. I hope your husband respects your boundaries.
I don’t have teenagers but he sure would loose his phone for sure and any privileges of going too gram
Juno what its her business 1nc he involves her i get the hole interfearing thing but mabey let him go 4 a week r 2 im sure he will run home send the two she will prob fling um back as quick as its said u never really no some1 till they live under ur roof ! She might just mean well n want to give u a bit of space but kids have attitude problems she wont be able to function with 
thats how id play it ur children will come back swinging n thanking u 
It is totally within your rights to tell her to back off and keep you and your children away until she understands her role.
First off I would take his phone your husband needs to set her straight if he doesn’t then you say something
My mother is law was like that with our daughter. I told her over and over again to stay out of it. Finally she was about 17 and my mother in law called me and apologized. Keeping in mind this was the only issue my mother in law and I ever had. She was never like this with my sons my daughter would just spin shit her way.
Best bet, have it out between you and her don’t involve your husband
take the phone they are playing sides to see which one will win. Dont fall into the trap tell her to move on stand your ground Its your kid not hers and your kid needs to respectfully earn back heir stuff literally!
I have teens, thankfully they’ve never talked to me this way. I am a teacher however and can say, hopefully it’s the age. As for your MIL tell your husband to talk to her.
How did your son text grandma after telling you to shut the f… Up. I respect myself far too much to provide a phone to anyone my child or not that would speak to me like that. If you want his respect take that phone. Once you start respecting yourself you will more often than not get respect back even from a teenager.
The first problem is that boy never got backhanded in the mouth…
He wouldn’t have access to text anybody if he told me to shut the f up!
If he’s telling you that, especially with those words, he shouldn’t have a phone to be even texting anyone
Put her in her place. That’s a whole lot of nerve telling him he can come live there.
How can you speak on her boundaries with your children when you don’t even have boundaries with your children? Why did he have the phone after his comment toward you? 
First off you and your husband need to be united on this and speak to them together abt boundaries! Otherwise it will come down to “he” said “she” said and things will get twisted from your inlaws and it will cause more issues in your family. Your voice in speaking up is just as important as his! Otherwise if you don’t speak up with him, you’ll be walked on all over by your inlaws when your husband isn’t around. When it comes to your children or child text/calling them bc they are upset abt an issue in your house, that is a broken boundary in my book, the phone would be taken away for a very long time. Said child is manipulating you and inlaws. Inlaws of course are feeding into the bs. What happens in your house stays in your house. It is none of your inlaws business what happens in your house unless you, as the adults want them to know. Definitely need to put more boundaries into place with the children and inlaws. Good luck, that is no easy task!
In my experience it
Lasts a week and he’ll be back. Their from an entirely different generation and set of rules. Hugs. Teens r fun.
Let him go … Gma needs a reality check!!
Good ole ass busting solves many of issues, sounds like he didn’t get to many growing up so he feel comfortable enough to say those words to you… teenager or not bust his ass and send him to a room full of nothing, no electronics not shit but a bed and blanket, go ahead and start now cause if you don’t you’ll be dealing with a bunch of bs you could have avoided if you were to set his ass in his place rn:neutral_face: and tell MIL to stay tf outta it and stop giving your kids false hope cause it’s no one’s decision but yours and it’s not happening.
I smashed my daughter’s IPhone for way less. The fact that he had one after that is astounding.
Kids will always try to play one against the other.grandparents should have A united front with parents.sometimes its hard because grandparents have such soft spots in their hearts for grandchildren. But the last word should always come from the parents.
Ooooooo try to keep my grandkids from me and see where that goes…lol
And im sure we not getting the whole story
Hell my mother does this.
Meh. Let him go live with her. See how long that lasts. 💁💁
No you are not wrong
Better to teach your kids boundaries- old dogs don’t learn new tricks .
Why don’t you ground him and take his phone? Idk about yall but my mom would back handed me, taken my phone and I would’ve been grounded. But when it comes to boundaries she has no right to ever put her nose where it doesn’t belong. My mother always told me to NEVER let someone tell me how to raise my kids, or try to take my place.
So here’s the thing you’ve allowed your children to disrespect you for so long now you getting butthurt because of it. I’m sorry but u did this to yourself. You say you refuse to allow them to treat you badly but you’ve been allowing it n they’ve learned it from somewhere n I doubt it’s the grandmother honestly but hey go ahead n blame her instead of yourself. Take that CHILD phone away n make him earn it back he may be a teenager but he’s still a damn child!
Take his phone and cut her off … Who died and made her boss
Take that phone away smash it don’t let that teen get over on you
Ummm, take away everything, except his clothes and bed. No games, no phone, NOTHING! He can earn it all back when he decides to change his attitude as well as add extra chores. We also wrote very insane lines as a child. I’d make him write 1000x "Cursing at my mother is extremely rude and disrespectful; therefore, I should atleast be courteous and pretend that my parents taught me some manners."
Have him write it in cursive as well. Get that penmanship perfect.
Inform him grandparents have no legal rights. Put a parental app on his phone that also coordinates to your phone. He has to message and through that parental app, and the controls are set on your phone. We had to do that once. The only person our kid could call was us, his mother, and 911. I’d get that app and then use it to block gmas number.
I’m still stuck on your child telling you to shut the fk up. His a would’ve gotten knocked into the middle of next week. 
The day my kid tells me to shut the f up is the day I take a hammer to her cell phone. She can get another one when she goes to college. As for Grandma, she’s out of line. But her son needs to be the one to straighten that out.
Oh … wow what a mouth !, Do NOT allow him to talk to you like that, but you are right , it is not of her business.
Tell her you appreciate her being an empathetic grandparent but there are two sides to every story. You are going to discuss his behavior with his father and discuss the consequences to his actions. If he is still behaving that way at 18, he is welcome to live with her and you would be happy to remind her that she agreed to have him live with her…when he’s 18.
She needs to mind her own business. You have to deal with the attitude the whole time so she shouldn’t have a say in what ever the fuck you decided to give them as a consequence.
First of all my kid wouldn’t have had a phone to text anyone if he spoke to me like that. I would of snatched the sould straight out of his body until he found some respect. 2. She wouldn’t be in your business if your kid didn’t put her there.
You have do something other than catch attitude back when your son talks to you like that or he will continue to walk all over you creating drama.
no ur not ur house ur rules
You need to be focused on the disrespect in your household before you worry about your MIL. He’s clearly comfortable talking wreckless to you and in front of anyone. If his father isn’t addressing him, he doesn’t respect you either.
Whoa. My kid ever tells me to shut the fk up they gonna this hand upside that mouth.
I went thro this with my sister a few years ago. Said he could move in with her because he didn’t want to follow the rules at home. I had to cut her out of our lives. There’s A LOT more to the story but that was the start of the whole situation. It’s been almost two years since I have spoken to her now. I don’t regret it one bit she is toxic AF!!!
Well firstly your kid was the one to get her involved by messaging her and secondly he probably lied to her to about what really happened you mother in law is not the problem your disrespectful child is the problem firstly swearing at you and the speaking out of your home to granny and I’m sure there is a whole lot more it’s disgusting behaviour
Your son still has teeth? Your kids are putting her in the middle of everything. You’re mad at the wrong person
I did the same thing to my parents when I was 14 or 15. My aunt told me I could come live with her. My dad found out. He told me to go ahead and run away to live with her but if I do I’m never welcome back into the family and never contact them again. I decided to stay lol they then took away all my clothes, jewelry, make-up, electronics, and any posters on my walls. My mom picked out the clothes I would wear to school everyday for like 2 weeks. Needless to say I never swore at my parents after that.
I would more worried about the boundaries you set with your son right now. Seems like that is the main problem if you can’t fix stuff within your home how are you going to make boundaries outside of it??
Go no contact with her. And take his phone until he’s going to act his age instead of a toddler who didn’t get what they wanted
First and foremost, in my opinion… The problem is definitely not with your mother-in-law.
The problem is that your teenage son thought it was OK to say “Shut the * up” to you.
Do you talk to him this way?
Where ever in his lifetime did he think it was OK to talk to you in this way?
I would personally and seriously start with that.
If you can honestly say to yourself that you have never talked that way in your household to the other members of your family…. Then perhaps the mother-in-law comes into play.
It is so easy sometimes to blame outside resources for our kids’ behavior.
Damn… Raising teenagers is really freaking hard!
First things first… You have to think about your own household and what is talked about there. If you can honestly tell yourself that that kind of stuff does not come from you or the environment in your home, then look to the grandmother.
Obviously, I have absolutely no idea about your situation. I have just learned to first look deep within your ‘my’ own realm.
Oh wow. Your child shouldn’t have disrespected you and text her in the first place. She should have either stayed out of it or contacted you to get your side of the story but she completely over stepped the mark. You and your husband need a word with her tell her she can’t just try and get involved in your business by removing your child
Texting his grandmother… he wouldn’t have a phone to text on if he spoke to me like that!!
I would be taking away phones my kid is not allowed phone or computer in his room. As well I would be having a conversation with my son in front of grandma stating if your going to be telling your side of thing you need to tell her the whole story even the part where you look bad I would then have my husband address hiss mom.
She told your son without even speaking to you and getting the ADULT version that he can live with them. Waaaay out of line.
I would be telling her, that she needs to learn her place. Which is A GRANDPARENT… NOT a parent. And she needs to stay out of your problems, and whatever goes on between you and your children. Take his phone away. He can not just move out, and move in with his grandparent. It doesn’t work that way. And access basically telling him, that treating you that way, is completely okay. I would’ve put grandma in her place long ago.
This all started with You. Why the hell are you the Mother allowing your child to swear at you?
Your all worked up about you mother in law. She’s just being protective of her grandchild because he fed her a line of bs. You are the parent here so act like it. Take the phone away. Stop allowing the child to be disrespectful. This all started when you allowed them to speak to you that way.
1st your child shouldn’t even feel comfortable speaking to you in that manner no matter how upset he is and he wouldn’t have a phone to call on. The grandmother needs to stay in her place as a grandmother and respect your choices as the parent.
My daughter’s teenage kids often would come stay with me, of course I had my own house rules. During the time they stayed, wether weeks or months, they always went back home.
Absolutely. She stepped over the line. Put her in her spot. Don’t backdown
Sounds like the kid is the issue. Doesn’t give the whole truth, and MIL goes into protection mode. The kid knows this will happen and that is why they do it. The spotlight is now off them and on her. Hubby needs to shut mom down, and both of you need to remind the kid whose the parent.
First of all, if my child talked to me like that he would not have a phone to text anyone
I’m a grandmother and I would be telling my grandchildren to apologise to their mother. They can all come and live with me, in a heartbeat, anytime they like but not if they’re disrespecting their parents. As someone said in a previous reply grandparents are not the parent. He definitely needs to apologise and the grandmother needs to back you up.
If it isn’t her they will tell someone else things about you and wanting to go live with strangers is worse. Teenagers will blow things out of proportion and other people will believe them. I know it could be frustrating but get local couseling so all this stress doesn’t get worse and you not being able to handle it anymore.
At what point did you become your child’s child? I don’t care how mad a child, MY CHILD gets you don’t ever say shut-up and then cursed you? Your mother in law is the least of your worries your disrespectful child that you’re making excuses for is.
My daughter nana wants to say and do things I’ve said no too and I’ve reminded her she has raised her sons let me raise MY daughter im the momma she isn’t
Step one, take that phone away! Step two, deal with his colorful mouth! Step three, tell granny to know her place and tell hubby to deal with his mother while u deal with ur son. Granny is NOT ur issue! Dont feed into ur child’s drama/tantrum…be his parent, remember how it was when u back talked or on some cases, how it should be…yes ma’am or no ma’am. Being a teen doesn’t mean he’s dictator of the house now, put that foot down!!
Your Son told you to shut up and you think your mother in law is the problem! This did not just start. Sounds like you’re the problem. You should have nipped this in the bud years ago. No child are mine will ever tell me to shut up. My daughter’s are 38, 40 and 41 and to this day they know better. They were taught Respect. They are teenagers how are you going to keep them away. You say you will not allow them to treat you badly. Telling you to shut up is not treating you badly? What is their father doing while this is going on. Boundaries should have been set when they were very young. As for my grandchildren I would not allow them to put me in the middle and they cannot come stay with me, especially after disrespecting my daughters. I stay out of their issues. I hear both sides. I raise 3 teenagers I know how they can be. They will not play us against the other. We nipped that I’m the very beginning
If he goes to live with her ill bet he’s back in a week
Wtf! Tell your MIL to stop parenting your kids or else they will lose their respect on you.
There’s no right or wrong way for your mother in law, it’s only your and your husband’s way. That’s what happens when you allow grandparents to overstep their boundaries. Your husband should have set the boundaries at the first sign of interference by her. He gave her permission when he kept silent. He needs to grow up and stop allowing his mom to treat him like a child. It’s not her child anymore. The problem lies with your husband and his mom, apparently they have issues they need to confront & discuss. Unless they resolve their differences, this will CONTINUE . Your son is acting out because he doesn’t see any firm adult taking the REIGNS.
Let him go. It’ll be the lesson for him and her since your not bring heard
Sounds like she’s jealous. And awfully quick to throw the “come live with me” card. Married? I’d also be telling my husband he needs to get his mom under control. NOT acceptable for her to be wedging her way in like that making things worse.
Nope, a child should never ever disrespect their parents, and a grandparent that encourages it, is nothing but a pos. Furthermore, your husband needs to tell his mom to stay tf in her own lane. His mouth would have been popped so hard it would have been swollen for a week, then I would go pop her mouth. I do not play that. He would live with grandma for a month at the most before she could not tolerate the disrespect. Personally, I would pack his stuff and take him to her. Let her see exactly what you deal with. If he treats you that way he will do the same to her.
OMG!! First of all your son shouldn’t speak to you like that. Your husband should take him out back and teach him a lesson on what shouldn’t be said to a mother/woman. Does your husband treat you the same way? A good old fashioned spanking never hurt my son when he forgot who he was talking to. I don’t care what age he is, remind him that you brought him into this world and you can easily take him out! (It’s just a saying). Your husband should deal with your son. As for your MIL, ex communicate until she can respect YOUR rules. You said teenager, if you pay for the mobile calls etc, take it away from him NOW. Good luck 
This is too hard to answer without knowing the full story. All sides.
First of all since he used his phone to call Gma for the purpose of overriding you he needs to loose his phone for awhile.
Second Gma is definitely out of line. Explain to her that he called her because you were disciplining him & it’s not her place to override you. He will not be moving in with her & it was wrong of her to tell him he could. If she doesn’t understand this she can be cut off.
She should have spoken to you first, and not told him that…!
Nope, but go ahead and let him go… he’ll be back! Lol
Take the phone away!
Take away phones? Admonish the grandmother? You have bigger fish to fry hunny! Your KID is telling you to shut the F up and to boot your husband is standing by with his thumb up his butt! You created this … you gotta take control or release him.
Nope! My mother use to do that until I put my foot down. Don’t let her walk all over you
The minute and I mean minute any one of my kids told me to shut the eff up, they wouldn’t have a tooth left in their smart-ass mouth…as far as your MIL, tell her to mind her business
If MY kid told me to shut the F up I’d be packing his bags and sending him MYSELF ! YOU have let things go TOO FAR if you think your teenager telling you to shut the F up is an ATTITUDE! IT’S TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE! AND YOUR HUSBAND is there in the household and ALLOWS that interaction and YOU give the kid an attitude back? Are you also a TEENAGER or HIS MOTHER? Sorry dear. You need to hear this and QUICK. Your son has ZERO respect for you. ZERO. You gave BIRTH to him…he is made of your flesh and your blood courses through his body…there is no F’ ing way that kid would get away with that shit with me and his father? Oh hell no! You allowed it once twice… too many times…now you have lowered your mentality to his and he thinks you are equals. Don’t be proud and keep him home send him to his grandma and see if he pulls that with her and if she let’s him and when she throws him out if he does and tries to come home depending on his age if he is a minor take him back with STRICT RULES AND BOUNDRIES and if he is 18 tell him to go make a life for himself. Never curse AT or WITH your kids because you instantly become their peer not their parent. You need to grow up too. You both need counseling.
Yes, your lucky they have grandma
Well after reading me what he told you he wouldn’t have a damn phone!
First off! If my children spoke to me like that, his ass would be grass and I am the lawnmower. You made a mistake when you allow your child to cuss in your presence. I have grown children and they don’t cuss in front of me. It’s called respect. Your children doesn’t respect you. That’s why they think it’s okay to call their grandma. Honestly your mother inlaw doesn’t respect you. You need to cuss her butt out, and tell her to mind her business.
I’m sorry but if my kid ever told me to Shut the fuck up their granny can be picking them up from the ER. Your kids don’t respect you and neither does your MIL and if it was me. I’d put my foot down on ALL ends. I come off to everyone as a very stern bitch. My kids know… don’t fuck with me. They have a great life and everything they could ask for but the minute you think you can be disrespectful is the minute I will make their life a living hell. Mother in laws have always known better cuz I remind them that I live with what they’ve raised and they could use some work too.
hey there❤️
feel free to post ur Requirment or Query in our group too 
Nope! She’s wrong! So many grandparents think they are the parents of their grandchildren too & they are not! We had similar issues with my grandparents growing up & YES it did make things worse! I’m so lucky my parents aren’t that way with my kid! Not to mention that fact that she said HE COULD MOVE IN WITH HER! Without a conversation or consent from the parents! The freaking audacity! Its not even legal! It’s actually SO ridiculous because she has had teenagers herself so she should know that his side of the story probably isn’t the whole story! Lol I’m sorry but WTH! I hope your husband is pissed too! Otherwise you have more problems! So NO you are not in the wrong & you need to put that G’MA in check quick!
Nope. Those are your kids. She would let him live there just to ley him do whatever he wants. I woulda spanked him teen or not. Spanked him on his ass and take away every single thing and be grounded.
No ma’am you’re actually right no wrong in that but also have a conversation with her & your son! The disrespect is enough for me he wouldn’t even had the phone to text her we aren’t given a parent manual but we do know respect is given when received & you demand yours from all we are raising a new era generation but the things we allow now will be what they think is appropriate later and that’s not it don’t feel bad when you catch an attitude our kiddos don’t have no worries but to eat,sleep,s*** & make good grades at school but don’t forget your self care is the best care
She definitely needs to not make things worse. I would talk to her and let her know how you feel about it.
Nope, definitely not. Your kids, your business! I have a similar issue. Some people seriously need to not overstep.
Oh no mam. She’s definitely in the wrong.
She is so in the wrong