Why does your husband allow his son to speak to his wife in that manner?
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Not wrong at all. She is not their Mother you are and she needs to get back in her place and let you raise your children the way you deem fit
Your MIL is wrong. Itâs none of her business. If she keeps on doing this then tell her to mind her own. Your hubby needs to step in here, itâs his mum. Your MIL will probably tell u she was trying to help but she went about it the wrong way. We all know that children snd young ppl need discipline and boundaries otherwise what are we unleashing onto society when theyâre older? Your MIL needs reminding of this and she needs to know her place. Access to her grandchildren is a privilege.
Your child on the other hand needs to apologise to u and curb his behaviour. If he really wants to live elsewhere then help him pack and drop him off! He wonât last 5 minutes - reality and responsibility have a strange way of taking the fun out of life 
Take his phone away and all electronics he cant have it his way or the highway then my teen spoke to me like that he know what will happen I ignire him gets on his nerves til he apologise
No, you are not wrong! Your husband needs to put her back in her place since that is his mother. It probably wonât help but it might for a little bit
Take everything away from him expect a bed and sheets. Yes tell her to mind her business
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As always, grandparents spoil thier grandchildren. Talk to your mother in law in a nice way.
Youâre the mum and MI L should respect that tell her to butt out of your business, you raise your own kids
No youâre a 100% correct. She has overstepped her boundaries
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Your child told you thay??
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Speaking to a parent in such a manner is unacceptable. He should have had his phone taken away and grounded. Disagreeing with parents is one thing. Being disrespectful is unacceptable always. Your husband needs to deal with his mother and set and hold boundaries.
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My dad was strict we were not game to answer back or even say no to our mum.At the time we hated it but now we realise he taught us to respect our mother. I think your husband should stop allowing the kids to treat you that way, and you shouldnât accept it either.
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Do not let your son talk to you this way, you are his mother and respect must be given. Where is the father? What is he saying? Your mother in law has no right to say anything in your family life, your husband has to tell her this.I hope everything will be ok teenagers are difficult sometimes
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Husband needs to grow a pair and take the heat for youâŚand Iâd never let my kids curse me or herâŚIâd take the door off his room and phone gamesâŚMIL needs to be talked to with son/husband supportâŚ
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This starts at the beginning. âSometimes they have an attitude and I get one backâ. Children reflect back what they see. If you shout at them they learn to shout back. Think on that a minute. Maybe if you were the adult all the time you could encourage a better way of communicating with your kids and tempers would stay calm. Your MIl is wrong to interfear however getting into a power struggle with her and throwing threats around is never going to ever end happily. Be calm, stop shouting at each other and start communicating properly. You might be surprised x
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No , please tell you in law stay away between you and your children. Otherwise she wouldnât able to see them and his son.
He wouldnt even get back into my house his bags would be on the porch love granny
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My children are 45 & 48. They never spoke to me that way, and still would never.
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Let him vent try not to take it personally he is your teenage son. He may be tall he may be loud he may be to big to throw over your knee and be embarrassed ( bare assed) but he is not too old to lose privilege. Lay down the rules. If he disrespects you no phone. Cussing no music stereo ECT. Once his room has nothing but a bed and dresser he can start earning his stuff back trying to play one adult against the other will not work and is unexceptable. As for grandma send her a puppy tell her she can run itâs life.
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Personally, your children your rules, not hers. Bad mother in law for interfering.
We dont know the extent of his conversation if my grandbabys call me upset I wod never tell them they canât come to me. My babys are always welcome in my house. We dont know the context of what was said and mom could be over sensitive and feel jealous her child is going to the grandparent . I would rather my child go to someone they can trust to listen or just know they got someone on their side.
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Itâs his mother he needs to handle this for & with you.
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My mom would have knocked me into next Tuesday if I said that.
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Ok. I never had this problem. Does she live with you? There has to be boundaries with her if she does. She needs to stY out out it. Thatâs your child. Back you up. If she has any disagreements talk to you aloneâŚHe needs to know you and the in-laws are on the same page. PERIOD.
Iâm not a perfect parent(no one is) but my kids knew if they talked to me that way , they would be eating their teeth for dinner. My oldest son was 16 the last time I beat the crap out of him for talking to me wrong. I was a single mom and had to control them the best I could. Yes, they had their troubles but not as bad as some. Till this day they know talk to mom right or elseâŚ
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Heâd be doing the same to her in a week. Pack his things in a trash bag and put him on the front stoop , lock the door, then call her to pick him up.
Pack two changes of clothing only, and nothing else. Let him have belongings that he may have worked and paid for.
He wonât last long at Grandmaâs!
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Tell her it isnât any of her business and she doesnât understand boundaries. As a result, you and your children will not be around her for a while.
Tell your son that he can think whatever he wants in the heat of the moment; but that he is not to disrespect you in speaking to you. Then tell your mother-in-law that she is not to disrespect you as the mother of the child by helping drive a wedge between you and your son.
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Your husband needs to set things straight, heâs making you the bad guy laying down the discipline, and not putting his mother in check.
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You got a question why would you let your son get away with telling you to f up. And, you stood then like a dummy. Yes, would of taken hold of any I could get my hands on.i would of went through that door one way or another. You sometimes you have to put the fear of God in these kids. Now, you want to go to your Grandmaâs thatâs fine. But EVERY thing that your father and I have gotten for you. Each and everything right down to his underwear. If, you did pay for it itâs not going no place no tooth paste n brush. You get your smart mouth and ass right over to your grandmothers. If you paid for the phone keep it. He gives you any trouble, dial 911. Tough LOVE. I done it to my daughter, got to keep her phone n damm phone. She called her older brother, that was on a Thursday night and by Sunday night sheâs calling wanting to come home
Her brother worked her all weekend n work some more. You donât do anything but yell back at him. Stay Clam.
You are not wrong since itâs motherâs day I will reserve my comment till tmrw!
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Iâm no counselor, but I can assume you want opinions.
NO. YOU ARE NOT WRONG! It should be to your husband to set those boundaries , this being HIS mom.
Best advise I ever got when my kids were born, âDo NOT listen to anyone where I pertains to your children.â
People. Even grandparents always have an opinion. Friends, family members, etc. Always have an fân opinion.
At the end of the day, be it bad or good, WHATEVER happens to our children WE are responsible. Not the giver of the advice.
MeaningâŚif something goes bad, no one in authority is going to buy âWellâŚmy mom-in-law suggested I shouldâŚâ. It just wonât fly.
I have found setting boundaries with people makes me the bad guy in their eyes.
âŚso be it.
God bless in and your family. Stay strong
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Let ur mother inlaw know that you live with her man child and that you dont need any advice from herâŚlol
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Let him go live with them, theyâll be sending him right back! I give it 4 weeks.
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Its funny how mother in laws allways is the problem. For me it seems like, these so called moms need parenting skills, if you want respect , give it. What is more amazing is this long list ,of punishment starting with no violence to allmost killing them is okay, calling police on your own child ??? WHAT, talk about beeing a seriues head case, as a parent. Its disturbing to read, then again its Amarica so not suprising, there you can kill anything and that is okay
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Teens are tough , let her deal with him for a while he will beg to returnâŚ
Start with your kids!
They shouldnât tell their grandma what goes on in the house, they are still your kids! You shouldâve taken away his phone go talking to u like that!
And tell her to her face to butt out your family affair !!
You got to put on your big girl panties
If they are teenagers they can choose where and who they want to live with. And you are required to pay child support.
After he told you to shut up you needed to whoop his ass you are allowing him to control you by emotions to raise him. If I said that to my mom shoot I be laid out cold on the floor
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blister some ass! or âŚjust deal with it later?
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Donât let your mother n law run your life sweetie.
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She needs to mind her own business and needs to hear it.
The problem isnât the MIL. The problem is your Husband.
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I think parents are always so quick to blame the kid for the behavior when YOU are the one that raised them. Look at what YOU are doing. Children grow up and stop talking to their parents and then the parents wonder why. Because they resent you. You donât have to try to be their friend, but try to understand them. Let them know they can trust you. That they can come to you and youâre not just going to scream at them and ground them. That is not the solution when a child does something wrong. Making mistakes is human, yes they need to know right from wrong and be disciplined but you need to be reasonable and remember what you were like at that age. Discipline appropriately. Understand times have changed, the things that were popular when you were their age are no longer popular. Try to do things they like to do with them. Try to actually get to know your own children and not force what YOU like on them.
You could seek a pasture, if you donât mind someone else nosing into your business or your life. A neutral party could bring you and your husband to better understand each other and bring a mutual feeling to both of you. His way and your way have limits to a better understanding, I seem to get the picture this had been going on for some time now. Sorry to hear this, but good luck to both of you. The oneâs it hurts most are the kids. They feel it is because of them, one or the other and donât understand why things are the way they are. Perhaps a second view from outside the family can make bring to light where and how to direct a better understanding between both of you as well as set good examples for the kids.
Mother in laws that desire to interject their child rearing authority need to be handed the bill every month that child has to listen to that authority.
Youâre a mother in law go have your own kids or adopt. Get that straight.
You sound mental whining to FB about your son being disrespectful. " SHUT UP" ??? You tolerate that?
And whatâs the â husbandâ say about that or does he tell him to SHUT up too?
Man oh man.
But tell entire facebook
If my kids ever were to tell me to shut the F up they know I would slap them the F down. No tolerance for utter disrespect.
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Personally if this was me in this exact situation Iâd cut all communication between her and my children too. Alls sheâs trying to do is turn your children against you and take them from you for what reason ? Sheâs bat shit crazy. I hate people liek this.
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Difficult.
When she was growing up there were no boundaries. . We were safe.
When you were growing up there were no boundaries. .we were safe
Your children growing up, all boundaries. . You are never safe.
Canât erase 60 odd years of instinct good habitsâŚ
As a grandmother, her emotions have no boundaries.
Your rules should be for people other than the Seniors⌠yes boundaries for the younger relatives⌠they canât be trusted with anyone or anything.
Itâs sad i have to say all of this about family members, but you raised the question.
First issue that needs to be addressed is the one where your child still has a phone after telling you to âshut upâ .
A phone is a privilege and should be taken when necessary. Secondly, you and your husband need to be on the same page as far as parenting and expectations.
Third, you and your husband need to have a talk with grandma and tell her that until your kiddo reaches 18 years of age relocating is not a option and anymore conversations about it will be met with a swift response of no contact.
Finally, your kiddo needs to understand a few rules.
- You are the boss
- Disruption will be met with discipline.
- Relocating is not a option until they are 18.
- Get a job and pay for your own phone.
How old is your child. I dunno,we used to have to pull straws to stay with my grandmother. Maybe a little time with grandma is a good thing.
Youâre a good one. He woulda been at Grammys doorstep. And I woulda told her. Now, when he starts talking/ treating you the same way. Do not I repeat DO NOT CALL nor bring his disrespectful behind back. You wanted to stick your nose in our business. So here/ there you go.
Take the phone, ground him, tell your husband to put his mother in her place, she can support, not interfere. If he wonât do it. Make it clear that you will.
Iâd say to him,if she wants you,she can have youâŚ3 months of the mouth,mess,etc,and theyâll soon want to send them backâŚbut seriously,have a word with your husband and tell him to tell her not to contradict or interfere with you disciplining him.he needs to step up and help you,heâs his son ,too
Tell her point blank to stop interfering if she wants any relationship with her grandchildren. Sheâs enabling them to be insufferable brats by saying they could come live with her.
Where is dad,my kid spoke to wife like that all hell would break loose the in law dad needs to step up and grow s pair.
Girl, take his phone and put him on punishment. He is a manipulator and your mother in law is trash. She probably put him up to this mess.
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Take the mobile away for a day
Would he talk to his mom the way his kids talk to you?
Kick her ass the the street and tell her dont come back until you learn your place
If my grandson would say that to my daughter in lawâŚhe would get his ass whooped by gran
Quit posting whiney personal crap to the world
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I am not a family counselor
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You are the parent so 100% you can say they canât go to grandmas house. She needs to respect your rules and boundaries. Unfortunately thats easier said than done. Good luck, whats your husbandâs thoughts?
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I donât know how old heâs but If my son answers to me like that I would tell him fine pack your own things, stay with grandma for a month and donât even call me, you can talk to grandma the same way you talk to me
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Nope interfering grannyâs can stay out of it. Iâd not be best pleased if my kids grandparents were going about behind my back telling my kids to come live with them either. Theyâre your kids not hers tell her to back off and stay out of it. You discipline your kids how you see fit and she has no say. Sheâs raised hers and needs to let you raise yours without her interference
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Let him go stay with her for a week and i am sure she will have him back home. Cant believe how kids talk to parents these days
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I know that my son and I are extremely close but there is no way I would interfere in their business. I am here to respect them and help them if needed but under no circumstances would I come between them.
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Sheâs had her go with her child/ren. Bet she wouldnât have accepted interference.
I still resent the person who took my teen in for weeks while I had no idea where she was and worried myself sick!
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Families can clash with one another at times especially as teenagers look for some independence and things are said in anger.
I donât for one moment condone rudeness and swearing but I would also be happy that your son has someone he can talk to and somewhere safe to go until you can sort things out. Time out can be healing
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Make yourself the Grandmaâs daughter youâre supposed to be even if she is not your biological daughter. The moment you got married to her son you become automatically her daughter too. When you get that right away you will see that there is no need setting up boundaries for your mom on your Children. Get that thing off your chest and let love lead. I know of course you cannot deny your biological mother the presence of your Children so why her?. My dear do the Needful the solutions lie within you. Itâs only someone perceived to be a threat or an Enemy you set boundaries for and of course i do know youâre not picturing your mother in law as an Enemy of the Household or a threat?
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No youâre not wrong and need to step up and put your foot down.
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I wonder what your son is saying to her . Does it make you look bad. It may not be all the Grammaâs fault.
Your husband needs to back you 100%
Have you asked your children ?
She needs to stay out of it
She definitely needs to learn her place.
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I have just gotta say, my child was spanked, slapped & as a mouthy teen occasionally chased through the house & grabbed by the hair. Not only has she grown up to be a responsible adult, but she is the most caring, compassionate person l know. She works in animal rescue. She donates her time as well as $ to the homeless. She is a great person, daughter, wife, mother & all around human. I couldnât be prouder of her.
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The first issue is your son telling you to shut the # up. Thats your house and you are the parent, so A he has no respect for you and B he doesnât have boundaries either. Your husband really needs to tell her to back off, she raised her kids and now its your turn. The problem with her butting in is that she is undermining you and your husband and that causes confusion with your kids, which obviously is happening.
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Two questions:
#1. Where is dad?
#2. Why does the son have his phone after that?
I had a similar incident, and ever since I set deep deep boundaries, my son has been forced to deal with our own family issues without feeling like Grandma is an easy way out. My life, and my sonâs has moved on so much once the toxic people were removed from our lives! I wish you the best. Cut the cord at the source. When she is ready to respect your boundaries, she can slowly be worked back into the equation. Honey, give your husband a mouthful for not standing between the two (or three) of you. You deserve support! Should things worsen and your son becomes old enough to leave, let him. You deserve the break!
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Two of my grandkids lives with me of course with my daughter they wouldnât dare say something like that to her because we both would whip their behind I always back my daughter up but when sheâs wrong I do speak with her alone and of course I let the boys vent to me they should always have someone to talk to if they canât talk to their parent at the moment I let them know when they are wrong and need to apologize and make things right.
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So many here have said⌠you are dealing with a teen who has no respect for your parental authority. He must certainly feel entitled to say to you what he did. And he has a safety net he can manipulate aka grandma. I am assuming your husband is not supportive of you when it comes to his behavior. Sounds like you need some outside counseling. So does your son. Donât wait too long as it wonât get easier from here.
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What happens in the house! Stays in the house!! She has no right to interfere. Son learned why we had that rule with his children. You canât just jump into the middle of something and expect the kids to respect you and follow your rules. If you ban the kids, it will go against you and push them away. Let the children leave with her and she will see the whole picture. Bet they come back within a week.
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My first question is in what world would a teenager say out loud shut the * up to their mother and live to tell about it. Help them pack and lock the door. Good lord have mercy. Unless they have Touretteâs or something you have allowed way too much disrespect. Not sure grandma is the only problem
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Where is the father in this, he should talk with his mom about the kids behavior, unless your child is paying for his own phone then if heâs going to be that disrespectful the phone would be taken away, stop paying for his phone, kids donât like rules but no excuse for rude behavior, depending on the age of the teens, perhaps letting them live with grandma for the summer and see how it goes, donât get involved with her rules and how they behave at her house for the few weeks of summer break, then a couple weeks before school starts again visit with her ,along with your husband,to pick the kids up in time to get ready for school , stay strong and stick to your rules of the house
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Yes, it is her business as your son put her in the middle and made it her business. Be happy heâs communicating with someone you know about his issues. Now go have a civil conversation with her about the situation. Sheâs only getting one side Iâm sure but sheâs being there for him. Donât be mad at someone trying to help, you also donât know what your son is saying to her. Your son is the issue between you two, not her.
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Hmm.
Your son said WHAT!? Definitely need the control in your house first! After I extracted my foot from his behind, I would have called dear old grandma and had her pick him up with nothing but his birthday suit and his teeth in his hands!
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I would pack him up and take him to Grandmaâs house. She needs his insurance card when he gets sick, his Drâs info, his Guidance counselor at school and a cell phone plan they can pay for and to be available for sporting events etc.Grandma needs to do what you do!!!
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sounds like your husband invited her into the situation. mom answered the phone and as all moms do said he could come home if needed. keep it between you and him and do not blame anyone else. dad needs to back you up of kids are being disrespectful but as always two sides to every story. good luck with fixing this situation
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Our son sat his boys down and told them straight none of this playing parents against grandparents and moving in with us would not be an option. I was so relieved not to get caught in the middle. I havenât always with their way of raising the boys but Iâm telling you, those boys are polite and respectful so parents did something right!
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If one of my kids would have talked to me that way they wouldnât have a mouth. Maybe grandmaw is hearing one side of the story. You should be more concerned with your sons behavior than the grandmothersâŚ
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I sympathize with you. I had a grandmother in-law that almost cost my little boy of 7 years old his life. We lived on the second floor above them He had severe stomach aches and She would feed him candy when ever she could I told her not to give him candy because we and the doctor needed to know what was causing the stomach aches. After a year of that we moved away at my insistence We found out he had a malrotation of his Intestines a birth defect that infants born with it died because the intestines became gang green We were lucky his would rotate back again He was operated on at the University of Chicago hospitals and Clinic. They saved he life when he was8 years old. He would have died if we did not move away from the grandmother. We would keep thinking it was the candy! Protect your kids from relatives!
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Go to his bedroom and slap the piss out of him. Let him know who is the boss. Take his damn phone away and ground his ass. Tell ur mother in law to mind her own damn business she raised her kids. Itâs ur turn and if she donât like it then she donât have to see her grand kids at all. I had to do that itâs not pretty but it is effective and does the job. If u ask me about kids. I am raising my 11&12 child and 2 were mine. My family sends me the tough kids because they canât handle them. All my kids know u talk to me that way and u will be picking urself up off that ground. Till this day my oldest is 27 my youngest is 4 and they all know to respect ur mother and father if u donât u get punished
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I think your first and foremost concern is the fact your child told you to âshut the * upâ in YOUR house!!! Time to take that phone and other privileges away! But definitely agree that your husband needs to step up and back you and speak with his parents.
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The issue here is your son has no respect for you and your rules. That needs to be handled in the home. At this point the phone would be taken away until he can learn to respect you and the rules. Heâs a teenager and is manipulating his Grandmother to cause friction because he knows there are issues there. While Grandma is wrong to intervene (based on the info you gave) that can be addressed later. Its not hard to take her advice with a grain of salt and ignore what is unnecessary but making your son understand that he canât manipulate her and cause issues is what you need to focus on.
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First of my son told me to shut the ---- up he wouldnât have a phone to text his Grandma on
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Take his phone away and ground his ass and tell mil that while you love and respect her she needs to respectfully stay out of your familyâs business and not offer for your kids to move in with her they are your kids not hers. Sheâs already had her chance to raise kids itâs your turn now
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My kid does same thing but my moms or her grandparents on dads side do not say things like that her whatso ever instead they talk to her and explain that she is the child and Iâm the parent etc that sucks u go through that
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