How can I get my son to sleep in his own bed?

Any tips on getting a very very strong willed 5 year old boy to sleep in his own bed? Ive tried laying with him until he falls asleep and as soon as I get up he wakes up. We’ve made a chart where he’d put a sticker on every time he’d sleep in his own bed and if he reached a whole week we would throw a party with cupcakes and some presents (didn’t even work for one night). We’ve tried everything. He will scream, cry, and fight until we give in. Any tips would be great!

13 Likes

It took a long while and some nights are definitely still a struggle, but what works so far is having the tv in his room on to something like a fireplace or disney plus has a dorys reef cam which is just dory and the other characters swimming around, i read and sing him a lullaby then sit in a chair in his room till he knocks out. Also has a night light and “monster spray” i got it from amazon. Basically essential oil and lavender. But alot of taking him back to his room and tucking him back in happened as well. Hang in there mama! :blue_heart:

1 Like

Get him a dog. Let them sleep together. It will also teach him about love and empathy.

With my girls I put some string lights up in the room and got them a stuff animal that is special (just for sleeping). I let them pick out sheets that want to sleep in.

enjoy it! It wont last forever then you’ll miss it

Each child is different my eldest had no problems with adjusting to her own bed, my 2nd born was a little more difficult, she took longer to get used to sleeping in her bed when she got up I took her potty laid her back down rubbing her back for a few minutes. My son did not want to be away from me he was the most difficult but like his older sister I turned his getting up into a routine of potty then a little comfort also realized what was waking him up, it was the neighbor’s snoring, after that I put a cdplayer in his room playing soothing nature sounds loud enough to drown out the snoring.

Super Nanny programs give super tips, also for this kind of situation.

2 Likes

Following, my son was easy at 5 to switch, different house, closer rooms…our daughter not so much, but her room is upstairs and farthest away from us…

Awe my little one sleeps with me because we have a two bedroom home my oldest gets his own room. My little one waits for me to fall asleep with him every single night. Maybe get a night light for him or soothing music or a fan. My oldest has always needed white noise to sleep there is proven science facts with that’

1 Like

I had trouble staying in bed when I was a kid so my mum use to put me in bed then sit at the top of the stairs when I was asleep then when I got out after 5 minutes she would put me back in then repeat she did that for a few days then moved down a few steps then after a few days would be at then bottom then after a couple of weeks I ended up staying in bed asleep. It will be hard but it might be worth a try

3 Likes

Don’t give in, if he gets up, take him back. Just keep at and he will. Not knocking co-sleep but this is why I never let my girls sleep in my bed.

So this is just me and what has always worked. It may seem a bit harsh but once that boundary is in place, stick to it.
Let your baby know, sleeping in their own bed tonight. Bring them to bed. Read them a story, whatever your routine is.
Once you say goodnight, walk away.
If they follow you, don’t sat a word. Bring them back to their bed and repeat.
It may take awhile but has never failed to work (for me)

Goodluck!!!

My advice is…
You will miss this when it’s gone. Let him sleep with you. He wants to be close to you and that doesn’t last.

I bought my 8 year old a brand new bed, decorated his room in sports (like he wanted) got him LED lights, there’s a TV and a Nintendo Switch and he still refused to sleep in his room. :woozy_face:

Get him a body pillow (makes feel snuggled). A large stuffed animal. Only can use when in his bed. My son slept holding my hair, so I got him a large doll with long hair.

Be repetitive! It takes forever it feels like! Same schedule every night! My 2 girls slept with me since babies. At 5 I started them in their own room! And it took forever! But they are 6,7 now and sleep perfectly fine! (Except the once in a while master scare) but my advice is be patient.

Make him his own “ nest” buy him a supper sleeping bag that he chooses, and put it right by your or husbands
Side. Let him go to sleep right there when you go to sleep. No lighting. Maybe a story, the off you go both to sleep. So he’s there in the am, but you may have to fo it got y months like we did, he will feel the closeness and safety that he needs, right next to your bed.
It works !

1 Like

Every time he comes in you take him back to his room! Put on noise machine! Or small colorful light.

2 Likes

When our son was little we set up a small loveseat in our room. If he had a bad dream, or couldn’t get to sleep he was allowed to being his pillow and blanket and sleep on the loveseat. He only did it a few times before he started just sleeping in his own bed.

1 Like

Needs to be established from an early age not left till 5 I did that myself with my son was a nightmare every night, my daughter put her son in his own room from cot so never knew no different never had a problem with it and she s doing same with her 2nd 8 month and in his cot in own room !

1 Like

I layed down on my 3yr old floor & used Mr Bear for a pillow until she feel asleep. I left the door ajar so it wouldn’t make any noise when l. left out. After a while she said l’ll sleep in my room & you can sleep in yours.

Tough love. I know I’ll get hate for this. But took about 3 nights with my step daughter and she finally gave in.

  1. night light
  2. consistent bedtime routine and bed time
  3. stay firm.

When my daughter would get up, we’d put her back to bed. Few nights no sleep but she finally saw that we were not going to give in and that she was safe.

10 Likes

Like I told my son
You shouldn’t of let him sleep with you in the 1st place

1 Like

We never, ever, ever let our son sleep in our bed. So he only knows his own. Therefore his forever routine to sleep in his own bed has never been an issue. He always sleeps like a baby.

Sit in a chair next to his bed and move away a few feet every day until you’re out of the room.

Try laying in his bed with him and rub his back or at least lay your hand on him. Give him something that smells like you, like a blanket so when he falls asleep your smell is still there. Tell him you love him and that he’s a big boy now (don’t know if he will be starting school this year or not) but that big boys who go to school need to sleep in their own bed now. I still to this day lay with my daughter sometimes until she falls asleep.you could also try getting a bear with a heart beat that you could give him so he thinks your next to him.

I would do a reward system. Maybe a toy he’s been wanting if he does it for a week. Be consistent.

Eventually he won’t want to. My son sleeps in my bed whenever he wants. I put sleep as being more important then struggling with bedtime.

Getting sleep was always the most important thing. All of our kids slept with us. It doesn’t last forever.

19 Likes

My grandson, at age 4 responds to losing his gadgets quicker than anything.

The only thing that worked for me was consistency. Every time she got out of bed I put her back in hers no matter how much she screamed cried and woke everyone up. It took about 3 weeks but she started sleeping in her bed all night.

My friends use a bed tent for their son.

6 Likes

Stay with him until he is comfortable, talk about what a big boy he is now and how proud you are of him.might have to sleep.ovet 2 or 3 nights but with positive remarks it should work. I sat in a rocking chair next to my child’s bed giving back rubs and reassuring her each time she woke up. It was only one night but I was ready. A night light is helpful, too.

Let him scream cry and fight. The problem is that YOU give in. Don’t. He’ll soon learn.

7 Likes

It took 2 days it was painful to hear her cry but in the end she did good

When he comes in your room. Take his hand and put him back in his room. No conversation, no explanation. If you give in to the fit, you encourage the fit. When it’s not bed time explain that everyone needs good sleep and everyone has their own bed. Many parents co-sleep, but that doesn’t mean you have to. He has to learn boundaries. It’s ok for him to grasp the idea that his needs are not the only needs to be considered.

12 Likes

Routine and stand your ground

1 Like

Keep putting him back in his bed. Don’t give in. It takes keeping on doing it no matter how much he cries or screams. Constantly doing the same thing each time. Trust me I get it I too have 3 children that slept with me for years

1 Like

Thought love does not always work. As you get stressed the child does also.

Wait five years. He’ll stop and you’ll miss it.

4 Likes

My granddaughter did this to my daughter. In kindergarten I took care of it. Each child was given a red 3 in by 8 inch strip of paper. Each child had to write down something they would try to be better at. I helped her I wrote on one I will quit sleeping in mommy’s bed. Stapled the rings together. She never looked at what I wrote . But everyone of her friends read it and said you sleep with your mommy like a baby ? She came home mad at me but never slept with mommy again .

1 Like

may should try sleep lab.

My daughter is 5 and son is 8 and they have brand new beds with brand new bedding and LED lights around their room…because they said they’d sleep in there…
They’ve yet to sleep in their beds. So good luck :rofl:

1 Like

Really, make little man WAIT A WEEK for reward? :laughing:

Change beds you sleep in his and he sleep.in yours

Don’t give in. He knows that if he does it long enough you’ll give in. Put him in his room either shut the door or get a baby gate let him scream it out he’ll give in

2 Likes

Sometime during the night, my youngest daughter ( I have 2) came into our room. Sometimes I didn’t know she was there untill I woke.
She did this untill she was 12.

Just let him sleep with you and get some rest many parents co sleep

1 Like

Scared ? Likes to snuggle ?

Keep putting him back in the room with no words except for its bed time and shut his door and do this until it works. Don’t give in

First tip … STOP GIVING IN , that is exactly why he still screaming and crying, he knows you will get him and take him to your room.
Let him scream , and cry , he will stop eventually.

Second tip . Maybe a night light on , take him to the store to get his favorite character sheets for his bed .

Tell him you have monsters under your bed

2 Likes

If he comes in your room take him back to his room everytime .your still allowing him to come in so he will

3 Likes

Kids like to sleep with others. It’s biology, they are safer…cavewomen didn’t put a vulnerable child alone in its own cave. Adults sleep together, why shouldn’t kids?
Maybe try letting him have what he so obviously needs during this season. I guarantee, as a co-sleeping mama, it doesn’t last forever! It’s so much better, easier, and more pleasant for everyone to let sleeping alone happen on the child’s time.
Why is everyone in such a hurry to force them to grow up?

Our son, age 11, has ADHD, he takes melatonin to help him sleep…he still likes for his mom to sleep with him in his bed, but not as much nowadays…don’t worry too much about it…

Stop giving in when he screams. Let him scream all night. He will quit after a while because he will get too tired to continue. Also, take him to PLAY! Go to the pool, go to the park, go to the playground. Don’t let him sit on electronics all day. He’s not tired, you are. He’s got time, you don’t.

2 Likes

I had my brother-in-law call and pretend to be a fireman, and say that everybody had to be in their own beds for safety purposes. That way, if the house caught on fire, the fireman could quickly find and save everybody. If they weren’t in their own bed it could lead to them not knowing where they were. That might sound a little dramatic, but it helped explain to my kids the importance of staying in their own room. It also helped because it wasn’t me saying no, it was a rule imposed on the house for safety purposes by some random fireman. :joy:

5 Likes

The problem is not the boy! The problem is the parents giving in! I promise you in the world we live in no one will give in to him!! Not the schools either! Disipline

4 Likes

Parent of 30 yrs, sound/ceiling projector, Take them back to their bed EVERYTIME, Do NOT give into the tantrums! Kids are SMART, HE is well AWARE Mommy will give in if he Screams and Crys just enough ! DO NOT GIVE IN, Consistency will Pay off!

3 Likes

Stop putting him in yours

1 Like

Shouldn’t have let it get started in the FIRST place,Who, would ever let there kids in bed with them, unimaginable.SICK is what it is,

6 Likes

Its because he knows if he throws a fit you will cave and let him have his way .stop letting him have his way .let him scream ,cry and throw a fit but don’t let him have his way .I know easier said than done but you are teaching him that he will get what he wants by throwing a fit

1 Like

I coslept with mine her first few years. I was a single mom so it was just easier. I’m here looking at tips with ya mama. Mine will now go to bed in her bed if one of us is in there with her but will always ALWAYS end up in bed with us by morning. I agree with a comment I saw that it won’t last forever. Our chiropractor is our bestfriend though due to her rotisserie chicken rolling around

My son is 6, and for the last 2 weeks has started wanting to sleep in my bed with me. I don’t tell him no, because I know that soon he won’t as he’ll be a young man, and I’ll miss his cute little face all peacefully sleeping.

A week is a really long time for a 5 year old. My suggestion is this… go to the $ store and fill a basket of all things he would like. Show it to him and explain, when he sleeps in his bed, in the morning he pick picknout any toy he wants.
I never agree to let kids cry it out. I know this is a hard habit to brake. He is only 5 once but I understand this can cause problems.

You could start by putting an air mattress beside his bed and having a sleep over! Then gradually get him to accept being in there awake with a night light and cuddle toy, My grandson accepted his bed when his baby brother shared the room because he wasn;t lonely anymore!