How can I get my son to wipe his own butt?

So I need help on how to train my son how to wipe his butt. I have 2 other kids and I really don’t remember it being this hard with them. He’s 4 and will starting pre-k in August and the teachers aren’t allowed to help them in the bathroom at all. Every time he wipes, he ends up wiping it up his back almost. I don’t know what else to do. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!!


Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How can I get my son to wipe his own butt?

They have videos on youtube.

Are you using regular tp for him? Wet Wipes made it a whole lot easier for us.


Wet wipes rather than toilet paper.


I’m in same situation with my daughter and qe are using the flushable wipes

My son is 11 and still tells me his butt itches sometimes. Boys are fun. Much love and luck :heart:

I wish I could help you but all my kids did it the youngest is 22 now . But I got custody of my 4 year old niece and she’s almost 5 and can’t it’s been a battle as well .

Get a doll and show them how to do it

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Sounds like he has runny poop. He may need help forming it up some. It shouldnt be that messy for a 4 year old.

I have 5 kids. Some were more difficult than others. I am now going through this with my 4 year old daughter. Unfortunately she will be homeschooled. But with my older children I just asked them, “Do you want your teacher to have to wipe your butt? If not, you better start doing it yourself before school starts.” That helped. Made them think lol. And then another thing that helped was lots of congratulations and high 5’s when they finally did it, or at least tried to. Made them real proud of themselves.

I can’t get my 4 year old out of diapers so I’m no help bit I like the suggestions of using wet wipes


Wet wipes worked better for my son. Send them with him to school too. It takes time but I promise he will catch on. :blush:

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I’m jn the same situation as well. He knows the concept of wiping, it’s just … very messy lol wipes work better but ya lol it’s a struggle

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Wet wipes or a small handled bidet to either wet the paper or their butt.

There’s a YouTube video showing kids how to wipe their butts


If they need to do it they will… sounds like he has the baby of the family syndrome… my son has the same syndrome

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Have him sit on potty we found it easier to teach our kids we are working with my3 year old

I would let him wipe with wipes rather than tissue if it’s quite a runny one/big one just pack some in his school bag and explain the situation they’ll understand x

Tape 2 balloons together to look like you know put a little shaving cream, peanut butter whatever tape that to the back of a plastic chair have him sit in it and practice wiping it like it’s his bottom


My daughter will be 6 tomorrow and still has trouble getting it all. She will come home from school with it in her panties.

Have him use flushable wet wipes. That’s the best idea. He’s probably afraid of getting poo on his hand. You may want to show him he doesn’t have to with the wipes.

OK so it sounds like he knows how to wipe his butt he just needs a little bit more help learning how. 

We bought a bidet and taught our son how to use it. It made a big difference at home, and allowed him a little more independence to learn. Hand/eye coordination and dexterity is sometimes not reliable at that age, so practice is important. Honestly, most kids don’t poop at school very often, and when they do, they’ll do their best, and you’ll get to deal with the laundry and shower when they get home. I don’t think you can expect much more til he’s older.

It takes time and practice. I mean there are teen agers and grown adults that don’t do a great job . Wet wipes are a good option. Just stay patient and he will get it if you help and encourage.

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I helped my boys wipe until they went to Kindergarten…believe it or not they would neverrrrrrr poop at School…somex they would say they were sick go into nurses office and my Mom the Saint Italian Grandma would run to their rescue and pick them up and bring them to her house so they could use bathroom…she was their Babysitter also I worked…as they got older IDK they just held it would never poop in Elementary Middle or even High School…wipes definitely though if your children can idk if they allow them even flushable bcuz they Clog so bad…I’d tell him to wipe til no poopie on TP or Wipe

Teach him to wipe down, not up in regards to getting it on his back

To me it sounds like you have been helping him to long I always make my son wipe himself first “until there’s no poop” I tell him and mommy will check him and make sure he did good and he does pretty well

My grandson is five and I have him use baby wipes and I sent some to school with him

I always use baby or flushable wipes in my house. I have a 6 (almost 7) year old daughter and my son is 4. The wipes just do a better job! Good luck :+1:t2:

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I see lots of people saying to buy flushable wipes… my husband is a plumber. They may say flushable but please don’t do it. They do not dissolve fast enough and clog pipes and systems. ESPECIALLY if you are in an area with s septic tank. So yes, they go help kids clean themselves better but teach them to toss them. Don’t flush them.


If he doesn’t do a good job, his butt will get sore and he will learn to do better. He does get you all to himself when he calls you ….

You can use wipes but even flushable wipes are not good for the pipes. Make a trash can specifically for those.
I like the balloon idea. Lol. Make it look like a butt by taping them together and put shaving cream or similar on it. And get them to practice wiping :laughing:

Just keep flushable wipes at all times, we’ve all been there lol, lots of practice and reminders

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My daughter who’s about to be 4 has wiping issues as well. Never quite gets it clean enough. She’s getting the hang of it though. Her issue is using way too much toilet paper. It’s a learning thing. And will take time. May have to check hun each time and help him learn what the Tp should look like when it’s clean

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My son’s almost 6 and he refused to so we just left him on the toliet til he did it himself! Only took 10 min and he tried. Still working on getting himself clean good but at least he’s doing it!

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Try teaching him to away from his butt vs. up his butt and back

Practice practice practice. That’s all there is to it.

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Just be patient and keep training. They’ll do it when they are ready.

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I’m here for this because my 4yr old can’t do it with his little T-Rex arms :rofl:


My son didn’t start wiping his own butt till 7 he just didn’t poop at school :woman_shrugging:t3:

I have heard of people saying to put peanut butter or even start with pudding on a balloon and teach them to wipe that off as u would his bum and go from there


my son will be 4 in october and he absolutely refuses to even try to wipe himself.
its so disheartening bc when i went to the school in the papers it said he needed to be potty trained, and i asked and they said he needs to be able to go by himself and wipe himself.
i was like “oh my” and ive been trying since then. be wont even try

Quit doing it for him

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I get paid over $ 130 per hour w0rking from home. I never thought l’d be able to do it but my colleague makes over $ 18644 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is limitless.
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there’s a video on youtube of a woman showing kids how to do it, she sticks balloons to the back of a chair (they’re the but cheeks) and then shows them how to wipe


Just try your best and please … WASH YOUR HANDS!! :laughing:

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Arms are still to little give it time


My son is 6 and still he refuses to even try to wipe his own butt!! It’s a struggle :sleepy:

I recently had to actually show my second oldest on one of her plastic dolls.
I sat the doll on the potty, showed her lean forward take your toilet paper and wipe. Make sure to wipe the front but never back to front. And showed her the direction of which way to wipe.
My older two would forget to wipe a lot after going to the bathroom so it was always a messy time at bath time :woman_facepalming:t2:
But since showing them how to do it properly they fully understand.
Also, if they smear the unders just ensure them it happens. But make sure your bum is clean before pulling them up.


Kids can only wipe themelves the best that they can, he will be okay. A little itchy but he’ll be okay lol just have a bath every night.


Let him walk around with poop in his butt crack and see how sore it gets. Unless he’s incredibly stupid, he’ll figure it out. Make him take frequent baths so that you, and those around him don’t have to smell it

I tell my kids to do the best they can if they poop at school :woman_shrugging: and we will clean them up when they get home. I don’t think many 4 year olds are good at it lol also my kids never really poop at school. Maybe your kid will be like that too? I know lots of people and kids that just wait until they are home unless if it’s urgent

There is a better video but I can’t find it lol


I started with baby or toilet wipes. It does take a minute to get them to really understand how important it is to do this correctly so by starting with them you can at least assure that he’s as clean as he can be while still training him.

Same issues with my kiddo :frowning: I feel you

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I wipe my pre ker at home he does fine at school if needed but given hes a boy and only goes to school half the day 3 hrs he doesn’t usually go #2 at school so it hasn’t really been an issue.

Mine used wipes til he was 12. He’s fine now. Don’t rush it. It’ll be fine. :slightly_smiling_face:


I supervise my 6 year old still she is getting it!


I feel like 4 is incredibly young to be trusting they get themselves clean and don’t cause infections or anything, I still wipe my 5 year olds butt after she does to make sure as when she has done it it wasn’t fully clean and smelly so yeah I’d rather know it’s clean than not, I can’t believe that in a preschool they can’t help, they did for my daughter, kindergarten I can see but preschool my goodness

Take a whole apple take the stem out, spread peanut butter where the stem was and show him how to wipe the peanut butter off then have him wipe the peanut butter off.


Omg. Following because I’m having the hardest time with my son too. He’ll be 4 in 10 days and will be starting Pre-K too. He either wipes it all up his backside or the the other way :woman_facepalming:t2::joy:


I’m still struggling with my 6yr old twin boys. Was never hard with my other children. I have tried to get them to do it but they refuse. Said when they are 10 :sob:… I’m just lucky they haven’t needed to go toilet at school.
Following for any advice

My son has occupational therapy and this is one thing they’re working on. Definitely recommend flushable wipes and suggest trying the target practice picture they have him use. We do it as a game, and use nutella or peanut butter and I hold it behind him while he wipes the picture for practice.

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I found flushable wipes worked well my daughter now she uses toilet paper really good sometimes too much

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