How do i get my 19 month old to like other people more including his step dad. Any time I leave him with anyone he has a complete melt down and it makes his step dad feel as if he doesn’t like him for some reason. I don’t know what to do because his dad just lets his grandma raise him when he has his allotted time with him so he is not really around a lot of men either. Please help
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How can I get my toddler to like other people? - Mamas Uncut
How long has the step dad been in your son’s life? Why do adults expect kids to just like every adult that comes into their life. Kids often go through this stage where they prefer one adult over the other. The Step Dad has to grow up and realise it is not about him but about a little person that goes from one place to another and back again.
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He doesn’t feel safe around other people and that’s something to pay close attention to. Especially if he shows signs of fear. A toddler shouldn’t have to be forced into liking anyone. That’s still a baby. If he’s uncomfortable then don’t leave him alone. Period.
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It takes time… and being around other people. If you are anxious your child will pick up on that. Same with others… if they are anxious… your child will pick up on that. Relaxed matter of fact attitude… Mom’s going to____ I will see you before dinner… or any other time they might understand… before night night snack nap… etc
… and then go… child will adjust in time…
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Seriously? He’s a baby. Maybe your husband is unkind when you’re not around. Every day there’s stories of children being harmed by mom’s partner. What kind of grown ass man whines about a baby not liking him?
My daughter used to bark at ppl she didn’t like 
, your child is showing how he feels, the way he knows. Being alone is scary. Be there wuth him. Be his security. Lots of explaining. Talk to him. Really talk. Explain what’s going to happen bit by bit so he doesn’t freak out.
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Don’t force it, if anything I’d take it as a sign.
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He is 19 months he wants his mom He isn’t obligated to like anyone else. There is a reason he doesn’t like that person. He will adapt at some point. Have visable fun without him and he will probably join in. Stop trying to force your child to accept others and watch out for reasons why he doesn’t like that person. 
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You can’t rush it. Personally I find it comforting when a child is leary of other people. It’s harder for them to approach the child without your knowledge that way. I know you don’t want your child to be afraid, but these days that’s a healthy way to be. Having him act that way with his step-dad is his only way of expressing that he wants you all to himself, he doesn’t need competition. It could be if you spend plenty of time one-on-one with him when your husband is home, he’ll see your husband isn’t a rival for your attention. That will help him learn to be more accepting of your husband. And you don’t know what your ex has said about your husband in his hearing. He may not understand all of the words, but he’ll pick up on the attitude. That doesn’t help. Give it time.
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You can’t force your child to like anyone and you shouldn’t even try to, if your child is reacted like this to being left with his step-dad I would be really concerned and I also wouldn’t leave my child around someone when they are clearly uncomfortable/distressed especially at a age where they can’t properly communicate yet. Put your child’s needs first honestly your partner’s need for approval/affection from a child doesn’t really sit right 
best way is to let him decide what is best for him right now - if things haven’t changed with in 2 months talk to a child worker or some sort of doctor whom specializes in this field !
This has nothing to do with the dad. That was a low blow. Why some women want to blame the dad. 
Why is there zero accountability on your side? Your child is only 19 months, I’m assuming the step dad hasn’t been in his life that long. Do not push your child to like anyone. Maybe the step dad isn’t bonding with the child. Maybe the child sees the step as a stranger. Take ownership, and stop trying to put this on his dad, by saying, “his dad just let’s his grandma raise him when he has his allotted time.” This is a you and step dad issue 
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Do u work or stay home ? If u work and ur child has been in daycare all his life the. Pay Attention to the teacher but if ur child has only spend all day with u why would he expect someone else around alone
Normal to distrust strangers at his age
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Dont force anything and be patient 
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You can’t force a child to like anyone. A child feels safe with someone or they don’t, especially babies. You can encourage them to be more comfortable by having more positive interaction with who you will have around baby. The more you force/push baby to like people the more baby may pull away. Go by baby’s comfortability with those baby interacts with, not on feelings from adults. Adults may feel entitled for baby to like them because of a position they hold in baby’s life but that doesn’t mean baby HAS to make them comfortable.
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Do you force yourself to like someone? How would you feel if someone was trying to force someone on you that you’re not comfortable with? Honestly, this is pretty selfish of you. You’re more worried about the step-dad’s feelings than your kid’s feelings. The only answer to your question is - you don’t “get your toddler to like other people”. They like who they like - at 2 or 20.
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My daugther is 3 this year the only place she goes is to family daycare other then that she will not go to anyone other then her dad and I. I would never force her too either
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Your toddler really not liking your partner is a red flag to me. If a kid had a strong reaction to a certain person it’s prob for a reason.
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My daughter is almost 2 and has a meltdown anytime I leave her including with her dad. She always has. The only time she doesn’t is when she’s “out in the yard”
Is this guy new? There’s a reason a child wouldn’t like someone like that.
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It’s better that they don’t like people IMO. Some kids have no stranger danger radar… it’s harder to build one than it is to remove. Kids will trust in their own time. In time, if they don’t maybe that’s saying something. 19 months is normal for them to only like a few people especially if that’s who they’re with everyday.
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My daughter didn’t like anyone other than me, mama for years!!!
My son what I say hated everyone except me until he was 4. He would have meltdowns when I would leave the room. I knew that it was because I was a stay at home mom. I would just bring him around people, leave him in the room while I took a shower, things like that. I always let him know that I’d be right back. He would cry with his dad, his dad hated it, I always came back. Your child will be fine.
Wait a damn minute… Does he genuinely not like people… Or is he like a million other toddlers out there that cry every time they leave mommy??? Does he calm down after a while? Because if so - I know a million moms that go thru this same thing. You are mom. You are his consistent. You are his safe place. He is little… If he calms down after a while he will grow out of this. Now if he screams and cries until you come back - I’d bring in a therapist/professional and figure out what’s really going on
Baby isn’t even 2 and you’re already remarried, so yeah, essentially dude is a stranger to him.
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My daughters were the same way at that age
They didn’t like ANYONE whether it be immediate family or a stranger
Me and my mom were the only people they’d go to
Eventually they’d warm up after someone was around for a while
Now the older one (4) will talk to anyone and the youngest (almost 3) waves and smiles at everyone 
Just give him time… Encourage interaction but don’t force it
You can’t force your child to like someone he’s 19 months old probably going through a just want mama phase he will grow out of this be patient and don’t force him an I get your partner feels hurt by this but he needs to realise he’s just a baby.
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My son has always been standoffish when it came to other people and wasn’t the type of kid who was affectionate at all. Some kids just have general anxiety and are weary of other people. Don’t force your son it will only make his social anxiety worse.
It’s not that child doesn’t like anyone. They are attached to mommy in most cases. This happens when the child is never left with anyone such as a sitter or grandparent. In their head they should only be with mommy.
There’s nothing you can do , you can not force a kid to like a person specially when that person is kind of new .
Some kids are like that , but they will change with time, the most time they spend around new people the sooner they will get to use to them.
My best friend have two kids, they are now 3 and 1 1/2
The older doesn’t like any one but his parents, my mom ( my mom babysit him since he was 11 months ) me and my sister because we had been around him for two years now, but at first it was bad he tried to hit us and bite us every time he see us, he do not even liked his little brother or other kids around his same age.
He just started playing and liking his brother about 2-3 months ago
Kids go through phases maybe he has separation anxiety. My 2.5 year has gone through many phases like that she is usually ok after i leave.
My advice would be to slowly leave the room. Maybe its 2 mins to get a drink and dont bring him, or the bathroom and work your way up.
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It won’t last forever, they go through attachment phase, could last a while but it won’t be forever
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He’s a baby, grow up. You can’t and should NOT want to make your child like ANYBODY.
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That’s normal for kids to have meltdowns, but they adjust to it.
But never force a kid to like someone.
How long has he known his step dad?
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Tell your man-baby that it’s up to him to make the child like him not the other way around ffs, he doesn’t want to mind him obviously so don’t leave them alone. Sorry but he’s not his step dad if the baby is only 19 months and they don’t even bond. Your kid has more sense than you 
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My son was stil like that til he was 3 and half.
Only a couple people i could leave him with
They out grow it. If they stil react to certain people after 5 trust them… sometimes trust them before if its always same person only.
I left mine at playgroup for half hour once as i hadnt got money for the fees on me. He screamed the place down and only way they could help him was feed him biscuits as distraction and he dragged my coat round the whole time.
And the noise he made when he saw me again was deafing.
We did manage to stay and play in seperate rooms in end.
Only person hed be happy to stay with was my friends mum. She was nanny to so many children that werent hers. Wed have a cuppa and hes pushing us out door so he can have nanny to himself 
Dont stress. Reinforce that youre about and coming back. Go sit in car round corner for 5 mins a few days. And than leave it bit longer. And build it up.
You are their protector. Their comfort. Their safe place. Their person. And its ok. Give them a chance.
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It better this way right now. It will fade over time. Something must have traumatized him. Maybe socialize him. Trust his reaction to others right now. Toddlers can sense danger sometimes. With all this energy around us. He could see spirits…good and bad spirits hang around certain individuals. Good energy bad energy.
Kids see more in a person than what we see. Your son sees something in your bf that you don’t. Do not push it. Stop leaving him alone with this man. He sees something you don’t. He could be abusive to him behind your back.
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He is just probably shy and it takes him a little to warm up to people. My son was the same way until daycare and sometimes is still shy around new ppl. Kids have to be around people and kids their age. Try getting him into an activity or take him to parks, kid places etc and then slowly but surely when he’s comfortable around certain ppl it’ll be easy to leave him, need he. it takes time but he’ll open up.
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My son was the same until now (turned 3 in Jan) only liked me and at times chose to acknowledge and get loved upon by his family. Didn’t even like other kids at the best of times but I just let it go and showed my appreciation when he did love upon his family members - it’s taken him up until the last month or so to even love upon his dad especially while I’m around.
It takes time and love and persistence but don’t push it at all. Just encourage and if bub doesn’t want too then don’t force it as they’ll take 10 steps back. Just be more social around these family members and just wait it out. It will happen eventually 
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At 19 months old, your child is attached to you. When you leave, the meltdown is gonna happen. They literally don’t understand that you’ll be back. Out of sight to them is GONE.
Your man is ridiculous to think a baby doesn’t like him because the baby wants his mother exclusively. Sounds like the man is the one with some growing up to do.
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Could be separation anxiety… may not be about other people but he misses you and used to be w you.
Haha good luck momma. Mine will be 3 in July and people aren’t his Forte!
Look- Listen -watch … you leave, you don’t know what’s going on!! I am VERY protective over my children // advice is good, BUT… you really need to keep your guard up concerning your child ( My opinion )

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You don’t. This is normal behavior and you can’t force it. This is very developmental.
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I swear some of you comment without even reading the full post. She clearly stated her child doesn’t like people INCLUDING the step dad. Instead of telling her there’s something wrong with the step dad, or stop trying to force your kid to like someone, why not give actual helpful advice? She said anytime she leaves him with anyone he has a meltdown. When you leave him with someone try reminding him you’ll be back and keep your tone high. Maybe give him something of yours or smells like you when you have to leave.
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You can’t make children. He will when he’s older. Whomever he is most secure with is all that matters.
Should’ve added how long ‘stepdaddy’ has been in the picture lol.
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Thats normal for all toddlers. The best thing you can do is socialize him more. Get him/her set up in a dayhome/day care. It will help majorly. This phase will pass, unless you don’t socialize your toddler.
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Most kids go thru this. All you can do is encourage more time a family & one on one time.
I watched my brother do this for YEARS!!! I’m the older sister by 3 1/2 years. Not a damn thing wrong with him except he wasn’t with MOMMY! I was there! He did it if we were left with DAD, grandparents, everyone! He wasn’t being abused, mistreated, etc. In fact he was “extra babied”. My middle son was my “attached to my hip” baby, he only wanted three people (me, my mom, and my bestie…we were all large squishy ladies).
It happens! And Yes they grow out of it!
Some kids are just that way. My cousins oldest was like that, the only ppl that she liked was her parents. But, also, pay attention that something else isn’t going on.
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It’s normal to have separation anxiety at this age especially when new people are added to his life. Give him time and be patient. Don’t push it.
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All toddlers are different, you just have to let them adjust on their own clock. Mine was clingy as hell until just recently, daycare was a nightmare to drop him off, but now he’s 3 and he loves people. He doesn’t even miss me when it’s time to drop him off lol he smiles at people on the bus and says hi to kids and other parents when we go to the park. Maybe take him to public places where he can get used to being around others and a chance to interact. Explain to your bf it’s nothing personal and just give him time. He’ll come around
Sounds like separation anxiety.if so it isnt that he doesnt like others its that he doesnt want to be left without you
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He’s a baby/toddler for crying out loud. You can’t make anyone like anyone.
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That’s normal, and appropriate actions for a 19mo. My son is 3 and still screams and cries when I leave him 
he’s slowly getting better.
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Give it time,he has to adopt to get along with people other than his momy…let him spend small periods of time with the stepdad and watch them with that eye:roll_eyes:
It’ll happen. This is normal behavior for some kids. I have 4 kids ages 20, 10, 7 and 2. The 20 year old was super outgoing. So was my 10 year old. My 7 year old, not so much until he was about 3. And my 2 year old? Hated other people up until about 2 months ago. Now everyone is her best friend. With kids, almost everything is developmental, this included. It’ll come.
This is normal, and actually sign of healthy attachment to you & good brain development. Many people will comment on it or make it seem like the child needs to break that habit, but they will break it through trust, and intuition on their own. My kids are and we’re like this, and I learned that I can’t force it. You cannot force them to go to people, or to like when you leave them. If you encourage them, but give them space to warm up to someone on their own…. they will eventually do so. Don’t force it and don’t let others make your child uncomfortable just for the sake of doing it. They are learning to trust their intuition. I know it’s hard, sometimes I’d be so stressed bc I never got a break…. but it’s normal. My kids were so attached to me, and they are now social butterflies as they got older. Your baby will adjust when they are ready, you just support them and tend to his/her feelings as needed.
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It just takes time, sweetie. Don’t try to force it. This is just one of those things that needs to happen organically.
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It’s separation anexity
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It sounds more like separation anxiety. Make sure to tell your kiddo when you’re leaving, who to get if they need anything, and when you will be back. He might still be upset when you leave, but it’s so important to communicate with them.
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Oh Boo Hoo! it sounds like the partner needs to grow up, its not about him. The wee guy just wants his mummy. 19months!!! Enjoy him while you can.
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That is normal behavior your mate just has to stay consistent not take it as rejection and over time it could adjust.
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This is very common at this age. Just keep loving and reassuring them. Also try leaving something with yourself scent on it, for them to snuggle with.
Stop taking him away from others when he has a meltdown. He’s get the hint.
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Have more play dates with people. Also I’m not sure how long you’ve been with step dad if the baby is only 19 months. They’re still a baby/toddler who can barely express themselves. Kind if odd for the ‘step-dad’ to take offense when he’s just a baby
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He’s being a normal baby.
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Don’t always leave… make time and do things with the other person and slowly sneak away and reappear in 30 minutes then an hour, etc
Or hone in on your child’s screams and wonder why she might not like him 
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I’m not saying this is why he is but could be…
My daughter since age of 1 she didn’t like men only her dad, since he was around her alot. Any man would come up to her or she be in their care(my step dad’s care) she would cry and want me or my mom. She did this till he started doing high fives and saying bye and hi. Then one day she runs up to him says hi, and as they high-five she says I love you papa. It did take a while for her to actually let him touch her or hold her or be around her. She’s 3 and when she finally came around to him she was little over 2 but 2 is when they started high fives, saying hi and bye. She does now give him hugs and let’s him hold her, do stuff for her. Which is what took play in her coming around to him.
You can’t force anyone on a baby. They seek comfort and safe space at that age. When they feel comfortable to all someone in, they will. Step-dad can control his feelings and understand things the baby can’t. So maybe you should be asking how to get your s.o. to chill on his grown feelings and allow the baby to grow to like him. 
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Very natural and normal to favor one or 2 people at that age. Try to incorporate him into daily routines, reading books, bedtime, dinner (have him plate his food even if only one thing in front of him) watch movies and snuggle, play together, paint/color together etc.
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It’s just separation anxiety, he will grow out of it. It’s very common at that age.
Developmentally, 18 to 24 months is when a lot of kids revert back to “mama’s baby” Give the kid some space and don’t sweat it. Before too long they will bound out of your arms to see other family and friends without a moments hesitation.
Don’t push step dad on your son. Your son will warm up at his own pace if and when he feels safe. 19 months is still a baby, let him be. If he never warms up… might tell you a while lot more. Intuition.
Right now it is obvious he needs YOU.
Children go though stages… you will know when he is ready to be left with someone else.
Small children are often clingy to the main parent. Perfectly normal.