Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How can I get through to a man who seems emotionally unavailable? - Mamas Uncut
U say crazy thier 2 sides 2 every story and sounds like thier more to this. With the ex.
You don’t. Leave him be.
He’s not ready and you are giving forceful vibes.
I have never had to force a good relationship.
I think you should look at yourself.
You are being selfish.
Be kind and a friend and if something happens in the future then cool. If not cool too.
He needs to be ready. Its not your decision on when he wants to get into a serious relationship. Having been someone whos still fighting a stalker ex, its terrifying and it fucks you up.
I’ll say this straight up. If ex is “crazy” and won’t leave him alone and he is “emotionally unavailable” and you walk on egg shells over text…It seems like he is giving the ex REASON to be crazy. He might be still leading her on. I say get out of there and let him go. It has only been a couple months and that should be a “honey moon” type period. Something ain’t right with him and ex.
Don’t walk away…RUN!! You have already started sacrificing yourself for him. He told you he is still messed up from his “crazy” ex. Listen to it… Narcissists will give you 1 or 2 warnings to escape before they hook you. When they say veiled things warning you away…and you proceed…they won that word salad game and they know they have you. And BTW…every single narcisssist had a “crazy” ex. So after reading all these posts and you still proceed…you are making yourself a victim…and have nobody to blame but yourself…because ALL narcissist s are emotionally unavailable…healthy people are not.
Are you sure she’s the “ex” and not the actual wife still in the picture and he’s done this to her before or she’s trying to figure out where he’s at because he told her he was running to the store? Have you spent the night with him? Have you seen him more than a few hours at different times of the day? Do you have conversations over a call not just texts? You need to learn the red flags and investigate. There are many more things that I didn’t write that also need to be looked into. He’s telling you that y’all won’t be in a relationship and you’re trying to find a way to be. Just walk away.
Disaster in the making. If you have to baby a man run away.
You can’t force someone to do anything. You may end up wasting your time by pursuing him. If someone wants to be with you, you’ll never feel like you’re walking on eggshells. A relationship should have tons of communication, openness and honesty.
Back off and give him time. Maybe he’s not interested in that. You know what’s going on with him so maybe be there and when he’s ready it will happen. You both have kids that should be more of a focus. It shouldn’t be on your timeline anyway. If you force it it won’t last so wait for him to be ready.
He put you in the friend zone. Accept it and move on.
You won’t. Keep it as a friendship and move on. Sorry.
If a man wants you in that way, he will go out of his way to show you that he does. Don’t settle for less than what you deserve. If he is giving mixed signals it’s because he isn’t sure about what he wants.
Also, what others are saying about the crazy ex is true, there’s always 2 sides to every story. Usually men will say something like that because they’re still involved with the ex as well.
my now recent x used to say that his x was like that, bull shit, ive now wasted 9 years on someone who was the problem and main issue he Was emotionally un attached, dnt late any more time like I did x
Simple … NO you can’t. Sorry I don’t have much more to offer, but, that’s the reality.
Best of Luck
You can’t.
People tell you how they feel about you with their words and actions. If they are being dismissive of your feelings they don’t care.
Don’t allow yourself to be gaslighted. He either cares or he doesn’t. If he doesn’t you have to care about yourself more than him and leave his foolish ass alone.
He’s obviously still screwing around with the ex. Girl love yourself MORE.
If He told you it wasn’t worth your time then believe him
You can’t force him to open up to you or even want to be with you. One thing I have always lived by especially as a single mother myself is -IF HE WANTS TO HE WILL-
And it’s only been a couple months so if your trying to get with some one that quick you need to step back yourself
And every man conveniently has a “ crazy ex” there’s a reason for that remember 2 sides to every story
Hes probably still seeing the stalker.
I don’t think he’s that into you. Not in a romantic way at least. If you can’t tamp your feelings down and just be friends, you need to distance yourself before you get hurt even more.
You cant get through to someone who doesn’t want to listen, and you need to respect what he wants 
Only been a couple of months let it roll
Stay friends get relationship out of your head. Be content being friends if you 2 are meant to be in a relationship it’ll happen just don’t rush it
Have you thought that maybe he is still tying up lose ends in his previous relationship and thinks it is not fair to you to get in a relationship with him when it is too much dramagoing on with his ex! Just let him know you are ready when he is or something.
If a man wants you he will pursue you … 
Lifetime movie in the making!
Don’t walk on eggshells for anyone. Be 100% you and if you scare him away, he wasn’t for you or wasn’t ready for a relationship. Be his friend if you have fun together. Who doesn’t need good friends? Broken men gotta start fixing themselves just like broken women do.
LEAVE…you will be fighting for him to communicate each and every day!!
Go slow, take it slow.
“If he wanted to, he would.” I have been hearing that so much lately and it’s 1000% true. Been there before, got hurt badly. And with the crazy ex… RUN. Just focus on yourself, either he will realize he wants you or someone else better will come to you. Just be patient. Good luck love!
It’s not a healthy relationship. You’ll be hurt and disappointed if you choose to continue.
Well for one thing…quit being pushy! Most men hate pushy women. Two months is not enough time to try to gain someone with a broken heart’s trust! Your focused on what you want. Quit making this about YOU!! His feelings count also! He is not ready to jump into any “friendship” now! (Esp one with benefits. You sound like someone desparate, and who has not known a broken heart ). I would run the other direction, if I were him.
Lol every man has a crazy ex. I’m one of them apparently. But My last bloke was normal pulled away I thought. Turned out be a narcissist. They get you where they want you, putting in all effort because he’s a broken man. Just be careful. Always two sides. He may have had a rough ride but then he needs work on himself as won’t work else in any relationship.
Maybe he is still effected by the way the ex was and is finding it hard mentally. Maybe see if he’ll speak to either you or a professional, maybe more to the story than he is able to admit right now. He may also just need more time to do the full commitment from friends to relationship.
What is meant to be… Really meant to be should NOT require work…
It’s not always as it seems…I would be happy to do a tarot reading for you if you’re interested, and I can see what’s going on with him and his energy towards you
“Emotionally unavailable”. Stop there. Move on.
He’s not ready and you can’t push him. The best thing you can do is accept the fact he’s not ready and be the best friend you can be. Build him up and show him he’s worth it with your actions. Words are so scary these days. People will say anything to get what they want. Actions are what does it for me anymore
Give it time he sounds not only burnt from other relationship but his self esteem is crushed. I say build him up compliment him on being a good father beings good worker. Ask him his advice on stuff and tell him thanks for the advice. Don’t push
So about 2003 I became a single mom and my next-door neighbor has a brother that I didn’t know very well and he hadn’t been around much. So I ended up sitting with him during some kind of a farmer supper well next to him anyways and just visited and he laughed so hard I cried! Couple days later he comes knocking on my door and then started hanging out with me every opportunity that he got mind you he is a farmer so he worked all the time. We started dating and he was funny he made me laugh he was good to my kids but he would never emotionally really open up and be really emotionally available but I did enjoy his company. And then one day he started to withdraw and do what yours is doing. He wanted his own children and I couldn’t have anymore. So he withdrew and broke up with me. I was devastated. He had become my best friend. He ended up dating someone else and she got pregnant. I had also remarried. We stayed in touch as friends.
Well….one night he knocked on my door and handed me a wedding invitation. He said “you’re my best friend. I need you there”.
So my husband and I went. I love my friend, my former boyfriend. But we are not emotionally compatible in a dating relationship.
I know if I ever need him he will be there for me. Sadly I know he is not happy. He wants what he cannot have and has what he only wanted because he wanted children.
I feel for him. I miss him. But…I have a husband who is emotionally available and makes me laugh. The best combo.
My advice for you is remain his friend. There is nothing better than a friend you can laugh with and always count on. And be patient and wait for the one God has for you. You will not regret it.
If he wanted more, he would go for it. You’re a friend to him. That’s all…and it’s good to know that:)
Be friends. Hes not ready for anything else yet, and you will set yourself up for heartache if you try to push for more.
Why are you pursuing someone who’s not available? It’s not your job to fix him. Find someone that’s into you
How do you know his story is the true story? Maybe she left him
Girl if he’s telling you he isn’t worth it 
believe him.
When people call their ex “crazy” what they’re trying to say is they are crazy lol. They sound like a narcissist to me. I was with one for ten years and have first hand experience with what they say and do and it sounds like that’s what you have here. Take my advice and run, don’t walk, away from this one. It will be the best thing you could possibly do.
Leave him alone. He needs to heal and is not available to you.
Hes given you every clue that he is not ready or interested in a romantic relationship with you…maybe you dont want to accept that but its very obvious…sorry
These men could write in permanent marker on their foreheads how they feel and yall still ignore it
That woman ain’t stalking him they fuckin, move on sis, you wasting time
Young one to build a proper foundation- trust, accountability, responsibility and loyalty. This is made stronger through communication. Sounds like your friendship is growing stronger- but love can not be forced or made to be. You have to let it grow on it’s own. 
Trust n believe sweetie.
It’s only been a few months. Either give it time or move on but don’t try to force something on a person that has told you he doesn’t want it. He has set his boundaries, you need to accept them.
Not to be mean but he’s not that into you if he’s acting that way. If he were that skittish he wouldn’t have started taking too you to begin with. You’ll end up emotionally draining yourself trying to"rescue" him.
My fiance was like this just don’t push it just be mates first took a year to knock my fiances walls down
Sorry, pur him firmly in the friend zone and move on. He may never be ready. I’m not saying give him up entirely. Just look for a real relationship elsewhere
He’s probably still with his BM & living a double life. That’s why he keeps you at a distance.
Dont waste your time and efforts on the “emotionally unavailable” it will only bring you dissapointment and heartache. A man becomes emotionally available on his own in his own time,in his own ways…there us no changing that or forcing it. MOVE ON.
You don’t. Don’t try to change anyone; that’s up to them. Find someone who’s emotionally available.
He needs time to heal. He isn’t ready. Might be time to move on
If it was the other way around, you would expect them to respect your boundaries. It’s only been a few months. Give it time if you really want to pursue a relationship. Take it slowly. Respect his boundaries or move on
You dont. You move on.