You should definitely get a divorce. Because your husband deserves to be with someone committed to the marriage. Not someone living a fantasy about their ex while he works to support them. Get a job. You aren’t trapped 
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Who knows he may wanna leave you too. Talk to him.
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Well. First off. You’re a POS. You’re in love with someone else, which shows you have mentally emotionally and physically stepped out of the relationship probably before it began. You are lazy who enjoys being a sahm while he works to provide for everyone in the family…. Including you!
I feel so bad for your husband. You’re the problem.
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Let’s not forget your daughter whom is stock herself in the middle. I would suggest you get a job outside the home first, see how that goes, and then consider your options. There are plenty.
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First thing… Get a job
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All these folks advising you to work it out, get counciling, or “water the grass”, take an informal poll and see how many of them have not had any form of intimacy with their s/o in years, its over, you can do something now or spin your wheels a few more years and wish you had done something now
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First of all stop cheating on your husband. Obviously if you know your in love with your ex that means you have been talking to him in that way… all you should have to do is tell him you have been cheating and he will leave you. He should leave you, sounds like he is still being faithful and your not.
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Get a job and make it work. I left my ex husband after being together 11 years and didn’t work for years, I have 3 kids and got a job at the prison and left with all 3 kids. If you have family or friends you can stay with until you get in your feet it will help a lot. Once you have a job you can file for a deferment of the cost to file for divorce unless you are making too much. It is like this in Arizona at least
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First don’t look for advice on Facebook.
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Nothing worse then waking up one day and realizing you’ve wasted your life settling on a dream. I’ve been there. You’ll be starting from the bottom lovely but you’ll get there. Good luck x
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Get a job and be able to to provide a home and necessities for yourself and your children before you leave.
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You’re letting him support you completly while you talk and have fantasies about being with another man? Jeez. Just talk to the poor guy you’re holding someone’s soulmate hostage.
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y’all saying “go get a job” …She would be barely, maybe covering the cost of childcare to have a stranger raise her kid 🤷 I’d say talk with an attorney to see what options you have, and your husband. Maybe he isn’t happy either and you can divorce peacefully. Wont know unless you talk to him. Maybe he doesn’t understand how unhappy you are…
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Talk to that ex to see if he REALLY wants you to leave or if this is just talk/fantasy. If he does, he might help you. You need to get a job and keep as much money saved as possible. Talk to a lawyer too.
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First off…. Get a job and get your own money/security. No one is going to provide for you to be a SAHM if you leave. Child support isn’t going to cover hardly anything. If you want to do this alone, you have to do this alone. Don’t count on being in a relationship with your ex if he’s out of state, you’ll probably be court ordered to stay in the state you currently live in, and within a 120 mile radius of where you live now.
Also, the grass isn’t greener on the other side of the fence. The grass is greener where you water and nurture it.
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Quit talking to the ex obviously. Get marriage counseling. You married him for a reason.
Everyone these days give up way too damn fast and easy. They should make divorce harder to get
Been there, done that. You will be able to make it on your own! I promise! Five years this month I’ve been divorced. The details aren’t worth mentioning, but I know what you are going through. Strength, babe, strength. 
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You sound awful tbh 
why are you as a married women communicating with your ex that still “loves you”? Thats so disrespectful to not only your husband but your child as well.
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The amount of self hating women in these comments is killing me honestly.
Putting yourself first and trying to be happy after putting everyone else first isn’t selfish or horrible regardless of how many people want to say that it is
No one can really control their emotions but we can control how we react to them and what we do with them
Just feeling something for someone else isn’t cheating. Sneaking around and lying is where cheating starts
Go ahead and start applying for jobs
Stay with a friend or family member until you get on your feet
Maybe work out a roommate deal with someone at least
Speak to an attorney/lawyer and see what all you need to do to go about getting divorced.
If he’s off chasing his dreams and doesn’t want to have you with him as he gets them, it won’t cause any issues with him if you leave the divorce papers around where he’ll see them.
Work out a plan for custody of the child and if he decides he wants no part of the child’s life then he can either send some money to take care of her your way since that’s his child too. Or you can completely leave him out of it if you’re both ok with it.
If y’all aren’t happy, getting a divorce won’t make y’all more unhappy with each other
I wish you luck with that
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I don’t understand all the bashing towards her. Maybe her ex is who she confides in. But you all are missing the point. Them not sleeping in the same bed. He gets to do as he pleases. He’s pretty much already left the marriage himself. Ive been there but wasnt a sahm. My only advice is to talk to him bc it seems the feelings will be mutual.
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Don’t let the money part scare you.Good thing is you have one child.You need to start by getting away from him.Is there any family that you can stay with? Then you can have some room and file for divorce.You definitely do not want to waste ANYMORE of your time.You can be out living your life,making your dreams come true with your ex or whoever the fck you feel like it but you’ll be away from the abusive idiot and fell 100% better.I know he plays a big part of the income, but you can get state help for how.DO NOT let that stop you.I’d rather have not a dollar to my name,then to stay with a mean useless ahole.
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Pack your shut and go rent a place and move on. Leave a dear John letter. Never look back.[
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Well if you file for divorce…he’d have to pay spousal support and maybe child support so that might help till you can figure out other income. If you live in a house don’t leave because it can be split 50/50…tell him you thinking about divorce I’m sure if he’s been not sleeping with you he’s ready for it too…
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10 years with a man you don’t love? Why? That is weird. You don’t like confrontation but you’ve lived a lie for all those years? You’ve put yourself and your daughter in a legal situation. Do you think your husband will just sit there and let you take his child away from him? Especially in an adultary situation? If you don’t like confrontation, then maybe you shouldn’t get involved with anyone because you can’t handle telling the truth or anyone telling it to you. You have to be honest to your husband, about everything. Then get a job and start planing your future having to share custody of your daughter with him. Good luck!
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All the guys bee reading this hopeing it’s not there wife LoL
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No judgement but I would just be honest and tell him the truth and I’m sure you guys can work something out. Think of it the other way around that’s not fair to him to be married to someone who’s in love with someone else all this time. I’m sure if he knew he wouldn’t want to be married to you anymore either. It sounds like he’s not in love either that’s not fair to either of you to be stuck with someone not having sex or loving on each other. That’s so lonely! Definitely get a job and start putting money away and tell him that you don’t hate him that you want to be able to respect each other and coparent in a healthy way that’s what’s best for your kids! 
Facebook is not the place to be but in your shoes you shouldn’t be talking to your ex. you should be talking to your husband. explain you are unhappy and want a divorce maybe he does too. at that point you can get a job and start figuring out who, what and when.
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All these women hating… this is why people cheat. There’s this stigma attached to just leaving, and it’s not okay. People fall out of love, it happens. Not every divorce has be because someone is abusive, or cheated.
Find a job, save some money, get a place, then file divorce. You may be able to file with a free legal service in your state and get the fees waived through the court. A divorce without an attorney here is less than $200 to file. If he won’t react badly, then just let him know that you would like a divorce. If you think it would be a big fight, let him know after you’ve paid for your new place.
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Don’t listen to the negative comments . and a piece of shit wouldnt be doing what you’re doing reaching out for help . and answers n little guidance advice . says a lot about you. You and your husband deserve to be happy . truly. Even if its seperate life goes by so fast . do what you want with everyone’s best interests at heart.
Get a job for sure. Speak to him about it, tell him everything you’re feeling. That should’ve already been done. I was going in that exact direction last month with my husband. Married for 4 years almost 5 and together for almost 6, 2 kids together under 4 years old. We rarely showed affection, didn’t ever really talk about anything. It’s like we were just existing together. I was ready to just end it. We spent a couple days apart after an argument and when he came back home I told him everything. How I wasn’t happy anymore, and how long I’ve felt that way, we ended up just talking about it all and we both agreed to put in the work to try to fix it and we said if it didn’t work we would separate. We both have jobs and always have, now we split chores around the house, and once every week we spend time alone without the kids. Wether it’s just watching a movie at home eating cereal or going out to dinner. We’re trying to meet each other’s needs and it’s been going really well. I haven’t been this happy in a long time. I suggest having a conversation with your husband, although if you’re in love with someone else I’m not sure that’ll do much good. I’ll be praying for your situation and I hope things work out the way you want❤️
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First step is try to get an income or continue or start pursuing your education to earn a good income. Good luck to you and make it happen!!!
Naw. What your doing Is absolutely scandalous even having conversations about love or anything along the lines with your ex. Your trifling. No matter what way you look at it. Your husband deserves better than you. If anyone classifies it any other way … they are just as fucked up as you
I was in this exact scenario a few years ago. Believe me when I say, if there’s a will there’s a way. I had to sleep on the couch of my ex’s home while I saved up money to move out. I had 2 children with him and I started small. I had a part time job then moved to a full time job. My dad did help me with a vehicle but, during staying with my ex, he was obligated by law to pay my 2 bills per month (a small credit card and cell phone bill) which amounted to maybe $200 a month. I’m not sure what state you are in but here, it is a thing. So I saved and then when I finally found a place in my price range, got the hell out of dodge. Every small piece helps and like I said, if there’s a will there’s a way. Good luck to you and I hope you find the happiness that comes with leaving.
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Should have led with the I still love my ex. I dont understand why anyone would marry someone while being in love with another person. I imagine it has quite an impact on a marriage.best to contact legal support to figure out your options.
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Get a job and start taking care of yourself, then get out. Seems pretty straight forward
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Basic boring woman looking for excitement. Learn to take care of yourself and stop being a mooch. You basically just been a long for the ride and it didn’t take you were you thought so now you want to jump to another passenger seat instead of being a driver. Try telling him the truth let him leave you collect your little check and keep it moving hopefully he finds a real woman with some drive in her life that can take care of herself and her man or family if times got rough it’s supposed to be a (Team) but obviously your just a bench player sipping water and swinging a towel when needed.
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Yikes your husband seems like he’s the one who needs the saving from this relationship btw ask your ex that’s so in love with you still to help you out
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If you’ve been in love with your ex why did you get with your husband ? Why have a kid ? It’s so selfish when you knew you wanted someone else & now a child is going to be in between homes. I feel bad for your husband.
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Why are men now allowed in this group? I’m confused…
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Sorry sounds like you’ve been stepping out on your hubby. And your ex telling you everything you wanna hear . and you think 
the grass is gonna be greener . All I can say is if you leave your husband because y’all are having a little issues . And you wanna think your ex loves you . that’s gonna be your karma . By giving up so easy on your marriage.every marriage has struggles hard times they aren’t meant to be easy . But you sure asf don’t go messing around with an ex thinking that’s gonna help . You freaking talk to your husband try to fix it . Go to counseling whatever. People complain they want a good man but never appreciate them . But do whatever you got to do but your karma is gonna be the ex because he isn’t gonna treat you the way you think .
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Get a job and go about it.
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Since u haven’t worked u can get alimony but since it sounds like there’s children involved you can’t just up and leave your state to move if that’s what u wanting to do unless u plan on leaving your children with him and the reason y I say u can’t most states u gotta get the other parents permission to move to another state especially if there’s going to be visitations. You can try and file for the divorce on your own or call around and ask legal aid in your state they may be able to help u.
Start by getting a job. Then ask yourself The reason that your ex is your ex, has changed? Don’t compound two mistakes with a third.
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Also if your ex is in love with you maybe ask him to help pay for the divorce then. But that could be the real reason y u acting like u acting because you’re still talking to your ex while married to your husband and if u knew u were still in love y did U marry him why did u have a kid with him? That’s not fair to neither the child nor your husband.
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seems you may be the problem … you are still in love with your ex and making excuses about you and your husband not having sex … seems you want your ex making it with you then your husband and you could be pushing him away or he knows about your ex and how you still feel about him.
Counseling could save your marriage for the sake of your child. I encourage you to read “The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce” a 25 year study,
before you decide. Perhaps you or he had some trauma in childhood? It needs addressed to bring emotional healing.
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Ur living off him in love with another man how pathetic
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Talk to an attorney - - -. Get a job and earn some money.
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First find a job and try to save as much as you can. I was in a similar situation years ago. After trying to stay and save money after going back to work, it got too bad and I had to move in with my brother and sister in law but only for 6 months. It can be done.
I was also a SAHM.
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First, get a job!!!
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Do you keep yourself up? Since your husband makes the money, ask him to invest in you. Also while you’re being the maid & nanny, make sure you look good. Your ex sounds like a hater who knows you have a good thing. The grass is green where you water it. Stop playing the victim because if your husband is still with you and doesn’t need you, then he must love you. Sounds like some communication and you getting sexy will help save your marriage. You need to stop talking to your ex. Plan some family activities or weekend getaways so that your husband can be present with you and the child you have together. He’s out living his best life because you’re allowing it, and now you want to play the victim. I bet that ex ain’t got a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of. Girl bye. You’re in fantasy land.
Why would you bother getting married in the first place if it’s a conditional thing to you? What happened to “till death do we part”? Have you tried counseling? And maybe the reason why you’re so unhappy is because you don’t have the freedom that working provides. Is getting a job an option for you? How will you support yourself if you go?
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I’m sorry…you want to dissolve your marriage because you are temporarily unhappy? What about til death do us part? What lesson are you teaching your child here?
Can I ask what hubs is doing to live his best life and why you can’t? There’s always babysitters if it’s a matter of you being stuck at home…
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You’ve been married got 7 years and have been in love with somebody else? … whyd you even get married?
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Why have you never worked? Did he insist you not?
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I’ve read so many of the reviews & I’m more confused by the responses then the honesty by the poster. Here is my position; I’ve never still been in love with someone that I’m no longer with but I HAVE been in situations where I’ve thought I was making the right decisions & it turned out to be the opposite. Where I completely understood the poster of this is where she said, “I feel completely trapped & alone”. When a woman puts her all into her household & child(ren) it’s so common to loose yourself. Why are we putting her down for basically begging for advice? Yeah it’s not yours or my situation & we may not be dealing with her same issues but geez & I will never reach out with a question to you guys ever because you are brutal on being completely fixated on one sentence instead of her whole post. So here goes my advice to you…please try to seek employment so you can start the journey of your new beginnings. Be honest with your husband about what you are feeling. Then go to the courts to try to seek a lawyer to try with the assisting of your filing. Yes, most states do have lawyers who will assist in situations like yours. I wish you luck & hope your struggles get easier!
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The grass always looks greener on the other side but it goes based on how much you take care of it.
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Open a third bank account hidden and start to transfer money
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Reminds me of a cow who sticks her head through the fence to eat grass from the other side but takes dumps in her own pasture. 
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There are a lot of free legal services that you can Google and look into to help you with the divorce
Now you are going to ruin that mans life and suck as much out of him as you can and take your child away from him as you attempt to run to another state. Wow
If you tell your husband all this he might file for the divorce for you 
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Sorry to say after being with ur hubby for 10yrs …u r saying u r still in love with ur ex!!! U shouldn’t get married before u cleared up ur mind …i feel sorry for ur hubby
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Did you ever try talking to your husband about how you feel? Maybe he’s not happy either and you both can work it out together?
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Find a job ASAP and just tell him. He may feel the same way you do and not know how to go about it. If he doesn’t than talk to a lawyer. Most at least offer a free consultation.
Get a job and save the money and then make a move.
It’s a crap marriage because you love someone else.
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He doesn’t want to be married to you either. Just talk. It’s an extremely hard conversation but you have to have it. If he is unwilling to have that conversation then have it with a lawyer.
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So how long have you and the ex been cheating? Because even if it isn’t physical and it’s only emotional it’s still cheating, especially if y’all are messaging and talking, which it sounds like.
It’s totally possible he knows your not into him and is only with you because of the kid.
I assure you he’s figured out it’s not a happy marriage. Just talk to him.
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Think of your daughter first and try to save this marriage. You owe it to her. But…in truth, you’re on this post looking for support to leave and not do the work it takes to fix things…so… 
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Does he not see a problem with no sex in years??? That’s the part that blows my mind
You’ve never stopped loving your ex? Why did you even marry your husband if that was the case? I feel sorry for him and your kid. You made it seem like it’s his fault you aren’t sleeping in the same bed or having sex but the problem sounds like it’s you.
My best advice is to get a job to start and make your own money and get out.
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Now you are going to ruin that mans life and suck as much out of him as you can and take your child away from him as you attempt to run to another state. Wow
Heres some real advice. Dont listen to the welfare leaches telling you to steal money secretly. Do an uncontested divorce. Advocate for 50/50 joint legal/physical cuatody equal/shared parenting with no child support. Split the healthcare and educational cost evenly. Get a job. Do whats best for your kid and dont try to recieve free welfare handouts and turn her dad inyo a slave. She will see that as she grows and she will leave you yo live with him.
Just because 2 people are married doesn’t mean they should work it out. Y’all are talking about green grass and from what it sounds like, there is no more grass and she’s run out of seeds. Quit telling people to stay in an unhappy, unhealthy relationship.
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Some of y’all are a little harsh don’t ya think?
Sure, I agree that she shouldn’t be talking to her ex while she’s married… but she clearly stated that they haven’t shared a bed or had sex in YEARS… therefore I don’t think this is a “little issue” or just a “bump in the road”… sometimes marriages don’t work and it’s better for the child if the parents separate. That poor kid shouldn’t grow up thinking that what they’re doing is love… because it’s not.
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If you don’t deal with your inability to confront problems in a marriage then your next relationship will end like this too, no matter how in love you are with the new guy at the start. Marriages can’t survive one partner being unhappy but refusing ever to address the issues and just emotionally leaving and seeking comfort elsewhere. Whatever you do, address your own issues first: learn to speak up, communicate, and ask for what you need. You might find that working on your issues fixes your current marriage. Maybe your husband doesn’t want you to feel trapped and would give you the freedom you want if you just confronted the issues in your marriage with him.
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Start by looking for a job
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Girl, if you aren’t happy, start taking steps to becoming independent and self-sufficient. Don’t just break up to jump into another relationship. Fall in love with yourself first. See and do all the things that you are capable of. Be the woman you want your daughter to become. If after you are where you need to be in your personal life…theeeeen think about adding someone new to your life. Best of luck.
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Girl, get a JOB and leave his ass.
This is exactly why I don’t depend on any man!
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Get a job and get where you are making your own money…if your child is old enough to even go to day care…get a job that fits your schedule or start getting hubbie involved to help by picking her up or dropping her off and spending some bonding time. You have no business keeping things going with your ex…he is gone…you married another man. Why?..to spite your ex? You need to ask him to please sit down because you both need to talk serious about staying together. As long as you won’t leave your ex, heart and soul, you and your husband will never be happy, and it is all on you… and BTW once you become a wife and mother you are a room-mate, a maid, a nurse, a nanny, a leader and teacher for your daughter. a partner, friend, lover for your husband. That is being married…
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If you can use the same lawyer it’s a lot better if’s is over then sit down and talk about what you want and move on
Have you tried weed?
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You can’t stand him because you love someone else.
You can’t leave without money, so you’ll need to get a job first.
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You’re still in love with your ex? Maybe it’s your problem.
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Ex’s are ex’s for a reason; husband’s are husband’s for a reason.
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Step 1 get a job
Step 2 work on u if he is living his life than live urs make ur dreams coming true too…
Step 3 don’t worry about the ex… there’s a reason he is the ex and not the husband…
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This is where I urge, BEG women to try and be as independent as you can be… NEVER rely on someone else. Doesn’t matter if you’re so in love, together forever etc… HAVE. YOUR. OWN. STUFF. AND. ACCOUNT.
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Step one would be to get a job!! Divorce will take months and months and untill everything is final… You’ll be ok, you also may be in a fake love with your ex because he gives you attention. Try therapy and tell your husband your unhappy and see how he responds.Work on you either way!
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If i was you i would talk to him. It sounds like you both have been over it for awhile. Im not understanding how you can be in love with your ex after ten years…unless some infidelity was going on…after you talk to your husband my first step would to find employment work on yourself And take care of your children. Find housing and work out a custody arrangement.
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It is not that hard to get a job and regain financial stability, people act like it’s the end of the world or your career/independence when you decide to stay at home with your child(ren). 
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Get a Job. Learn how to support yourself. Thats just the start!
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Justin Robbins Sadee Halladay bait and switch
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Get a job. One thing leads to the next. You will know step 2 when you have tucked away enough money.
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Sounds like your husband is a good partner and you didn’t hold up your end. Don’t ask for anything in the divorce.
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See my bf always wonder why I question his love. Because of situations like this where ppl are still in love with her ex. Nothing against you or anything shit happens and ppl have to try and move on. But you never really know if your partner loves you or still loves their ex and their just moving on to you for whatever reason.
Is it your ex your in love with, or is he just giving you the attention you crave.
I would definitely try to work on your relationship with your husband first, possibly seek professional advice etc
If not look for a job and do
Whatever you feel like… life is just one huge lesson and the grass is rarely greener
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This is why men should never get married. Women always finds ways their “not happy”. Think the grass is greener on the other side. Kids suffer cause the woman’s selfish.
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Seek professional advice (lawyer) not Facebook strangers.