Evaluation for ADHD immediately.
The people on here suggesting she has ADHD or autism… lmao. She’s four years old- she’s still discovering the world, can’t regulate her emotions yet and has no impulse control. Quit saying it’s probably a disability or encouraging abuse, jfc.
Are you asking yourself where is she learning this behavior?
From home from school from grandparents friends relatives get to the bottom of it and good luck
Whooping her is violence…
Have you had her medically evaluated?
So she is being hit by you, then getting in trouble for hitting others? Do you see how this is probably very confusing to her? You “whoop” her, then expect her to have more restraint than you have to not do so to others?
I’m not saying you’re an awful parent by any means, but I highly suggest taking some parenting classes. When you physically take out your frustration on your child, she is learning from you. She sees that “mom or dad do this, so why can’t I?” I think your sweet little one just needs to feel love and heard, but I also agree with the others that banging her head, and the other things that she’s doing to hurt herself, are not normal. I would get her evaluated and in the mean time, do something that she absolutely loves and show her true compassion. Catholic Charities has workers that can help you with both talking about it AND finding classes/resources. Best of luck to you and your family
Why is that when a child acts out in some way that parents think they need to have full control of every situation these days. Threatening and spanking and yelling is a form of control and should not be in the home in my opinion. Spanking children does not work in this day and age. I’m sorry it just doesn’t. Look at the world around you. The violence the yelling, bitterness etc. Are children not allowed to feel. Are they suppose to drop out having learnt all their feelings and emotions and how to cope with them already. Trying to find a medical reason should not be the first option. Seeking advice, interactions even strategies to resolve situations is a good start. Nothing changes over night. This is my own opinion if you don’t agree that’s fine. No judgements here we are all doing the best with what we have ourselves learnt growing up.
Absolutely maybe try a different route try talking to her and being patient maybe at a time when she’s behaving tell her that that’s not nice to act like that and you love her and she’s a good girl. And definitely get a drs opinion maybe go see another dr if needed
Just haven’t got her attention
A good old spanking will do the trick.
Get her evaluated by a doctor.
Is this a real question? She’s 4! She’s not in charge, you are!
Time for a pro. get her a doctor that deals with her kind of problems, do it soon, she is a miserable as you are.
If it was my kid I would make a strong Tea of Valerian and hops and mint and give it thru the day or a pill of Valium 5mg cut in half or quarters every 4 hours and never ever react to any bad temper at all even if you have to move away to a distance they Love Negative behaviour and cant help themselves You have to teach calmness even mild pot would help if it would take a puff however…
Evaluation for autism, ADHD, etc.
Also trying to teach her not to hit by hitting will NEVER help. Also it’s just plain hypocritical.
Please take her to see a good Pediatrician bc she needs to be evaluated.
Mabey autism? I thinks she needs a better doctor
Maybe ODD? I would def get an evaluation. I’m sorry your going through a rough time. I hope it gets better! Hang in there mama!!
Start watching Dr Phil hitting her does not help from what he says
Unfortunately I believe it more about repeatedly teaching them over and over what they are not allowed to do and sticking them to their time outs. Sometimes they might do it for attention so catching them when they are about to do something naughty they get two warns and repeatedly telling and asking what happens when you get to three ? Time out. Fourth is slap on the hand & time out. ( a slap on the hand better then getting their hands burn for warnings at campfire and they are not listening) Once times out done they need to apologize for what they did, sometimes at the first warning Or reason themselves why we don’t do this or that, having them say it can make it sink in more. Most often when my kids hit, kick, push, spit at me or others I point out do you want mommy to do the same to you ?? If not why not ? Because once or twice they might catch you ( someone else) off guard and you could hit them more forceful then intended and bad all around. At 4 yrs their sense of reasoning is just starting and the more you repeat the better it is for them even if it annoying for us. You’ll see had they grow older they may even repeat out loud to friends or to themselves why this or that is a big no no it’s very cute try your best to stick to it patience is the key
Maybe ask another doctor for a second opinion. My daughters two and full on, hits, talks bk laughs. My four older children were the opposite. I know its my parenting and lack of discipline, but bevause your daughter is pulling her own hair and hitting her head on the ground, it may pay to see a therapist. It is fustrating but they cant help how they are at the end of the day.
I am sorry but at that age, they repeat what they learn if you have “whooped” her, then she is just doing what she has been taught. I know it is hard to parent, and trying to find what works for your child is a challenge, but you need to remember she is 4. She has no other way to express how she is feeling by acting out. I would suggest looking at parenting classes first and foremost. Punishment is not the answer at these ages as they then just react by behaving in the manner of the punishment, they learn by what parents do at these ages.
Make a star chart? She has to earn 6 stars giving 3-4 daily task. re teach and reward.
First things first, don’t hit her! Next, get family therapy.
You said you “whooped her” and then said she was never exposed to hitting. You’ve caused this, and I hope your pediatrician calls the proper authorities
I would take her to the doctor again. Child psychiatrist.
You did not cause this as others have said. Spanking a child on the bottom is not abuse.
Family therapy for you and husband. Support Groups.
Temeika George “she’s never been exposed to hitting or violence”
“Took her out of the room and whooped her”
My son did all this. I finally had to quit my job to figure out what was going on and trying to get doctors to listen to me. It took 3 years for a doctor to listen but within a year I had it sorta under control. He has emotional disturbance,HF autism, ADHD and ODD. I noticed when his scheduled changed it through him for a loop. Now I try to keep his schedule the same. Now it’s been rough the past month because his teacher had her baby so they have had different subs so it’s been some pretty bad days. Also he is always so tired. I haven’t figured that out yet. He goes to bed at 8 and wakes up at 7. Then he is usually ready for a nap by noon to 2. Well when he is at school he doesn’t get that to he is pretty grumpy. I try to keep him up until bed but some days he gets home and he is ready to eat a snack and go to bed and he won’t wake up until 7 the next morning. Just really watch her. Anxiety can cause misbehavior like that too
Probably bi polar and needs to be on mood stabilizers
Sensory therapy!!! It helps my son tremendously! I’ve noticed it is much easier for him to express his feelings and soothe himself down.
She needs to be evaluated, early intervention program only goes to age 3 but they can tell you where to go for her since she’s 4. Music therapy and play therapy. Parenting coach for you and hubby and counseling for all. Hugs.
Have you taken her to see a pediatric psychologist? It’s one think to have an incident, but this is sustained and continues despite consequences. You might also think about a neurologist as the cause may be organic. From what you describe, she doesn’t just sound frustrated or that she’s deciding to act out. She’s 4, and kids don’t make decisions like that at that age. Don’t let the family doctor blow you off. The sooner you find the cause, the sooner you can get her some help. Hang in there! You’re doing the best you can
I worked at a daycare in a 2 year old classroom and I had a specific child that hit, bit, laughed at hurting people, pulled his own hair and banged his head often. He was diagnosed with autism. Does your daughter happen to have a love for spinning wheels on toy cars or just staying to herself often?
never been exposed to violence. But you beat her huh?
You hit her that’s why.
Try not hitting her, that’s where she’s learning it!
Try having her work for something. Use a sticker chart. Praise her for doing the right thing. Lots of positive reinforcement to start with.