How can I have a better co parenting relationship?

I just need a little support and insight. My son is four years old. I haven’t been with his dad for a very long time. Recently this past year, we moved into separate homes; my son leaves for the weekend and comes home on Sundays. It hasn’t been the best relationship with the dad, and for the last few months, I’ve had to cut communication and stick to only interacting with the dad’s girlfriend with pick up and drop off’s. Lately, my son has been acting out and protesting on listening and doing basic things I ask, which results in a crying tantrum. I have tried to work with the dad numerous times to get along for the sake of our son, but it always ends in verbal abuse that has nothing to do with my son and only to do with me. I’m just trying to get insight on how I can have a better co-parenting relationship with my son’s dad because I can see that my son is confused and needs a better understanding of relationships.

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sounds mentally abusive sorry to say not much you can do with creeps like that they dont change

My daughter is the same way. And the relationship I have with her dad is dead. I gave up on it because every time I tried to co-parent I was a bad parent and I did this and I did that but nothing about her. So I basically just let him decide when he’s ready and until then I teach my daughter what’s right and what’s wrong and no matter what happens over there (idk what happens but being as he only gets her every other weekend I know she doesn’t get punished) doesn’t happen at home because that’s not how we behave and we listen to people older and do what we are asked. I don’t mention it to him because all he says is “well she doesn’t act like that here so idk. She probably wants to see me more.” Yeah maybe she does but if you didn’t ruin that bridge and the lack of trust I have of you as a parent it could be different. I pray you can co-parent and get things straight. I wish I had more advice. Mine is a narcissist so there is no changing that.

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Unfortunately this is what happens when we send kids to there dads when they are not consistent

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Its no fun. Try to get on same schedule and consistency, if there is that in the other home. I have to be extra patient when he comes home from the other household. Ive tried to explain our schedule aka you get 2 days with mommy or you get 2 days with daddy. He still throws a fit but its not a surprise to him. That age is tricky too

Mmm I disagree that you have to talk with his new women in order for him to see his child you to need to come up with a better way between you both

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Kids are like that when they go back and fourth and it’s no ones fault but you and the dads but if you’re trying to find a solution I suggest just talking to your son and being extremely soft with him and letting him share his feelings.

Oh my goodness hugs. I had this same problem and unfortunately still am even though my son is almost 9. His dad is inconsistent on when he gets him and for how long and sometimes will go long periods of time when he will contact me asking for him but will send his girlfriend sister or dad to come get his child. His phone is always conveniently dead or turned off unless he is having issues there then he’ll call me and go on forever about what our son has done there but boy let me mention things he’s doing at home and he’s all well where is he getting that from. Ummm some of the things he says is completely his dad and his temper all over again but of course that isn’t the issue smh

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Have you tried mediation?? X

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If theres a local “Parenting After Separation program” in your community that might be a solution.