How can I help my 10-year-old while he starts to go through puberty?

Please post anonymously Mama’s I need help! Sorry if this is TMI, but I can’t get answers without details. So my oldest is almost 10. He is in full-blown puberty mode, and oh. My. God. We had to stand in the cold in front of the school for 15 minutes before going in because, as my husband says, ‘he’s standing full staff,’ these random erections are really starting to become noticeable and Idk how to help him hide it. He has pubic hair, smells like an old taco half of the time seriously body odor of a man. He’s almost as big as I am. And the mood swings omg the mood swings. He’s always been a Mama’s boy, always helped me out. Now all of a sudden, he wants to be in his room playing the Xbox all the time, gets annoyed pretty much anytime I talk, and irritates very easily. Then out of the blue he will be sweet, he made me dinner the other night and said it was for all that I do for him, yet this morning all I could get out of him was an eye roll. He has Asperger’s and sensory processing disorder, and we keep having the puberty talks with him, but I feel like deep down, it’s affecting him more than he lets on. He’s a very emotional kid, and we have always been so close. I hate ,this feeling, I want him to be able to be independent, but is this the route to that? Does he have to go through these mood swings to get there? It seems the more I try to help, the more he doesn’t want anything to do with me. I know I probably sound overbearing, but up until this last year, he’s worn leg braces, couldn’t tie shoes, was afraid to be anywhere without me…it’s just a big change all of a sudden. How can I help him? Also, acne is becoming an issue. He’s starting to get patches of it on his face and shoulders no matter how much he bathes and washes his face. Our second child is a girl who is almost two and is going through this clingy stage all of a sudden; I m scares that maybe it’s because I’m paying so much attention to her with potty training and teaches her to be independent, that he is becoming distant. I always try to include him in even teaching our toddler. But I’m hoping this is really just a normal part of puberty for boys. Any suggestions would be great!


I have a solution for acne! Send me a pm mama. I will help you! Perfect for teen boys and girls and even yourself!
I pray for you and your boy!

Just be honest with him about personal hygiene. Buy him deoderants snd body washes and have dad talk yo hom about dtanding tall and how to think of otjer things to help relieve the standing tall and if he gets too bad talk to your pedoatrician about how to help.

My husband says tuck the bones up into the waist band :woman_shrugging:t2: I have no clue :joy: also showers every night and lots of deodorant


Lose shorts especially in the grind area will help it be less noticeable. Get him to carry a messenger bag or a book so if it erection does happen he can easily move something to block peoples view till he gets to a toilet and waits for it to pass.


Dont worry. Just be there for him. Let dad have those talks with him but let him know ur there and he can also talk to you.
Think back to when you when through puberty. Were you really all lovey dovey and wanting to be around ur parents? I know I wasnt. I had an attitude from hell majority of the time. I didnt wanna hangout with my mom. I wanted to be alone.
His body is changing, and with him having aspergers as you said. It’s probably a little more stressful to him.

Have dad take him to get deodorant and shower supplies.

And for the erections… tuck into the waste band or he is gunna have to learn to adjust it in his boxers.


All normal he will get through this they all do. Deodorant, foot powder, good body wash, boxer briefs, loose pants and long loose shirts


thats all normal, have dad talk with him about what to do in certain situations (like hygiene and what to do when he needs to hide himself) for his acne take him to a dermatologist and they can help him with that. as for the mood swings he’s gonna have them, just know when to pick your battles.

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Books! As great as open communication is, sometimes kids need to see it all in black and white! Most kids have an automatic attitude of ‘you’re just mum/dad and know nothing!’ So giving them a range of helpful books takes that away and if you say, feel free to ask about anything you don’t quite understand, you’re showing that you’re still willing to talk about it and just giving them access to more info! It also helps prevent them doing their own research online and getting bad info or on to some dodgy sites!

Your husband needs to talk to him because for one, you cant help with the erections :woman_shrugging: Hed probably feel less embarassed talking to his dad.


Mitcham deodorant works the best. Witch hazel for face cleaning, lots of water and just overall better hygine.(Mom of 3 teenagers).


acne wash in the morning and night… grown man deodorant (non of that starter/training because it does nothing to help)and multiple applications if needed… showers every single day… and dad needs to handle the other “guy stuff”


Our 10 year old is on the spectrum & same! If dad can talk to him about the extra blood flowing down there, and how it gets hard when you have to pee… ugh, I know AWKWARD…
I think it makes him a little nervous with me in the room on certain things, but dad just tells it how it is. We’re not explaining sex yet, just the body is changing. He’s started wearing deodorant too & we go through the hygiene checklist every day. Talk to your BSC if you have one. Ours put together some cute stories about hygiene & things to make it understandable. We’ve explained how it’s important to put your best face forward each and every day.

Mom you need to step back and let dad take over puberty discussions, remember when you will starting puberty, did you talk to your dad about your period? Probably not. All you can do is let your son know his body is changing, and although you understand what is happening he can talk to you and his dad about anything.


Very normal, including the mood swings.

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Dad should be talking to him about alot if this. From my own experience with my kids. They much prefer talk about this stuff with the parent that’s the same sex as they are.
Also he’s at the age were hes wanting to be more independent. I know it’s hard but maybe give him the space he needs and he may want to come to you when he needs it

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Kids on the spectrum are a whole nother world. Each kid Is unique and nothing works across the board. The only advice I can give you is patience lots of patience. My son is 18 and I’m still in charge of that area of his care.

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Yikes. I have to look forward to this in a few years :weary: stay strong mama

You definitely are not the right person to be talking to him about this stuff. Time for dad to step in, cause did you wanna talk to your dad about all of your girl changes? No? Then it’s time to pass the wheel to dad, cause this is man stuff you cannot help with.

Not sure about everything else as my son isn’t in that stage yet. As for the acne Differin Gel is the BEST! You can buy it at any store, just use a little dime size once a day. I suffered acne so bad and tried everything you can imagine. I found Differin a couple years ago and my face is finally clear and for the first time in many years I feel comfortable leaving the house with no makeup on.

We bought our son long shirts to hang out of his pants and bought his pants a size bigger so they are a little baggy (with a belt of course). Buy him a robe for around the house if it bothers you and try not to notice it too much it makes him embarrassed. Hubby needs to talk to him or another male family member he is close to. For goodness sake leave him alone.

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A good doctor for talk to him about hygiene make sure he wears deodorant a good cleanser for in the morning and at night through space only 20 minutes on XBox due to the fact that that AP should be having a lot more homework and other activities he should be doing too much TV is a big problem with kids today especially with aspergers you need to have a male talk to him how to help him as far as with the full stats stuff you should not address it if you can get a male to do it due to the fact he’ll be irritated if you say something

It’s puberty it’s normal lol! I’m a single Mom to a 12 year old and I’m just straight up tell it like it is.

Showers, Noxema, deodorant, body spray, cell phone free family dinners, less TV/Xbox time, and open communication no matter how embarrassing it may seem. That’s the best I got! lol

Since your husband has been through these changes maybe you should let him deal with your son.

If he is embarrassed by an erection he can thump it on the head and it will go down. You know curl up the pointer finger behind the thumb and snap the finger on it. It doesn’t have to hurt but it works.

Mines 13, started at 10. Consider this chapter the new normal awhile. All we can do is guide them and give them their own little space. Good luck!

Her him his own hygiene products. Let him pick which he likes. Get his loose pants and have him carry a sweater to cover his boner. He can tuck the boner up into the waist band of shorts. Perhaps he should start wearing gym short.

It all sounds pretty normal. However, I think his thing is he doesn’t want to talk about it with his mom. It’s an awkward time for boys. It may be best for his dad to handle this and have more father/son time. The mood swings are to be expected. His testosterone is increasing and everything. Just try to be supportive for him

All this sounds very normal for your sons age and don’t worry momma things will get better. My son is 17 now and it was if I wrote this back 5-6 years ago and we were always very close also. This is all new to your son and he may not want to talk to you about some of the things so maybe leave some stuff up to your husband and to might help your boy open up talking with another male. This is all new to your son also so just let him navigate some of it himself also because not always do they want us talking about personal things with them and that ok. Make sure you provide your son with deodorant and maybe some oxy pads to help keep his acne under control and that’s all you can really do. Don’t worry your son will still be close to you he’s just going though changes and it’s ok.

I don’t know much about the Asperger’s or SPD, but the rest of it sounds pretty normal. I have a teen boy (16). I think it’s great to talk, but maybe back off a little with the puberty talks. He doesn’t want to talk about it all the time. That’s been my experience, anyway. Just show him love and respect his space (You know, within reason- Definitely keep an awareness about what’s going on).

For the erections, try an ice cube on the inside of the wrist. Should help redirect things… talk to the dermatologist about his acne, teach him the fine art of deodorant and absolutely take him to counseling. Puberty is hard, especially at such a young age. Good luck and big hugs!!


Just be there for him when he needs you or wants to talk hes going through a lot of emotions right now that hes not used to be patient moma things will get better and maybe wear a shirt that can help hide his “situation” this is a very hard thing that hes going through lots of love and hugs as you go through this with him!:purple_heart:

I have been through 2 puberty stages with boys and my 3rd boy is almost 11… honestly, from 11 to maybe 15 my sons were little monsters and were no longer moms best friend. Now at 21 and 17, my sons include me more and call me just to talk and love on me just because. It’s a phase and a necessary one. Just be there for him when he needs you, but you definitely need to just back away a bit.

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I have a son who is 16 and ASD we have to remind him to bathe but other then that tell him what he is going through is a natural process and you will love him no matter what.

My son is high functioning Aspergers, he just turned 21 yesterday. Puberty was extremely hard for both of us. Children on the spectrum may need extra help with anxiety, mood swings, and depression. My son ended up being medicated for a few years for depression. Then one day he just didn’t need it anymore. Definitely speak with your pediatrician and be very aware and involved in his behavior. You got this… Side note- all boys smell like old tacos lol


Our youngest child and only boy is going through Puberty,also.He is 10.I homeschool him.He tendes to get Crabby .He gives me Bratatudes,and gets mouthy with me. Our son is an Angel most of the time.We have 3 older Kids-25,20,18 all girls , and our 10 year old son.Plus he has a slight weight problem.

I feel you… mines 13. Puberty has SUCKED. the mood swings are awful. I miss my lil boy :frowning: you need to make sure he understands that he NEEDS to shower and NEEDS deodorant. Like, not even an option. The funk is :nauseated_face::face_vomiting: ugh

It might help him to talk to someone outside the home not at school but a private counselor


Tell his doctor everything you told us. See what he or she recommends.

Not much be done… All kids gotta go through it some younger than others my daughter started at 7 and is now 13

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My son went through all of that and it’s pretty normal. Just hang on for the ride


The erections are natural. My Husband has taught the boys how to tuck up under their belt or the waistband of their pants when needed.

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Wow! My son is 11 1/2 & hasn’t shown any signs of puberty yet.

talk to your and see what he says

Your husband needs to teach him the “Tuck up” trick.

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Sounds like a normal teenage boy to me

Just keep him busy. Puberty happens.

As for the acne my son is cleaning his face with baking soda and organic coconut oil after he washes his face with soap and water he was breaking out bad. But now he is not at all.

Did anyone even fully read the post? Pretty sure the question was is what is going on normal for puberty in boys, not an open discussion on parenting method and I don’t see anything in this that speaks of being a controlling parent that doesn’t give space, but a mom asking for advice on how to help her kid transition in the smoothest way


I agree no one know what in a teen boy head. My little boy just 3 an i hope it wont come but know someday it will no experience but ask the boy father maybe he can shine some light in on what might be going on since he once himself was a teen boy. Talking to the boy could make things worse an uncomfortable for him but if your close to him he might

Momma you sound like every mom watching her boy go through this… I could have written this myself. Yeah hormones and brain development are not on par here and this is a trying time but remember how fast these past 10 years have passed in 10 more you’ll be through this hurdle and onto dating marriage and grandchildren. :wink:


I agree with Christina in every way… You’re doing more damage by not letting him venture out and giving him some space… My mom wanted to be closer the more I acted out which made me act out even more. He’ll come to you for whatever he needd if he wants to. Otherwise leave him be. I know from experience…

I went through this with my daughter who hit puberty at 10 Due to all the medical issues stemming from birth
I enlisted the help of the school nurse since she was a trusted adult my child admired and not me It made all the difference


On that note ur son is going through the change and I also have a son doing the same he has ADHD and bipolor with sensory issues. He go to his therapist every week and she has helped with his change and I also have a daughter who is turning 2. I thought the same as u but its not that ur son doesn’t want to be close to mom its that iits really hard to control all the emotions that why ur child needs a therapist. It will help him a lot.

Get some charcoal or anti bacterial soap and it will help with the smell. Moodiness is definitely a big part of it. I’ve taught my son to recognize when he’s being irrational and take a step back.

This is going to sound Nuts but my special needs daughter had boobs and her period at 10. Here’s the crazy part. I took her to a doctor. First thing she said was does she eat alot of chicken. Because they pump them full of growth hormone


My son is only 3 but he has Fragile x syndrome and early puberty it a big thing for the disorder. I’d maybe talk to a genetics doctor or even some sort of developmental pediatrician

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Waistband for boners. Deodorant for body odor. Leave him alone. If he is such a mamas boy, he will come to you when ready.
🤷 sounds like a normal boy to me


Um, i know teenage boys are moody, that’s normal but if it’s far too excessive there is a nutrient called selieum that can help with Male hormonal transitions. My mum put my brother on it as a teenager and it made the world of difference

She has a husband…didnt he go through this? No advice from expierence?

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Good luck bless ur heart

Leave him alone , he’s changing , don’t block