How can I help my child who has ADHD?

Not doing what you ask does not necessarily mean ADHD. As a 3 year old, he is trying to gain some independence which is normal behavior of someone of that age. How much time are you spending with him engaging in play versus allowing him screen time with devices? Definitely have him evaluated, but I wouldn’t be so quick to put a diagnosis on him.

These that’s normal.

He’s three that is normal

3 is too young for an official ADHD diagnosis…let alone medication.
Additionally, there’s a lot of symptom overlap with other issues at that age (ASD/SPD) i personally would take him to be evaluated to rule out other issues first. Because at 3 asd and spd can be diagnosed.
Adhd is harder because its all about age range appropriate behaviors, length of time behaviors have been present, and whether they present in more than one environment.
Id also look into physical issues. Take him to pediatric opthalmologist and have him evaluated (farsighted vision and adhd look very similar)
I’m not saying you’re wrong, but in my experience- i have a 6 year old with severe ADHD…like running into walls severe…and a 2 year old we suspect has it…but it could also be asd or spd- at 3 there’s not a lot of options. And again. Symptom overlap.
Changing diet won’t hurt even if he doesn’t have ADHD. Cut out red dye, yellow dye, and carmel color. Limit sugar. Give multivitamins…b12 can help with symptoms.
You can try a little coffee and see if it helps. I would personally wouldn’t try mnt. Dew. The dyes and sugars in it can counteract any positive results you’d see from the caffiene.
Melatonin can help with sleep so can benadryl. It’ll depend on the doctor. My oldest has been okd to use melatonin (6) but my youngest (2) doc said she’d prefer us use benadryl.
Small tasks. If you’re asking him to pick up…pick one specific thing for him to focus on. Like we tell our child to pick up cars first. Then the play food. Then play utensils. He gets overwhelmed easy and then gets distracted.
Don’t be surprised if you have to redirect almost constantly. We count to 5.
Give small consequences that relate directly to what he’s doing wrong. So if my son is supposed to be picking up, and he stops to play with (for example) his pizza set and i CANNOT get him to redirect the pizza set goes up for a day.

Limit tech. Seriously. Tablets, computers, and cartoons can exasberate behavior. Like they may seem great while they’ve got it…but its the before and after that’s tell-tale. The focus is worse. The attitude is worse.

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If you think somethings different about your child. DO NOT LET ANYONE tell you different. YOU are you child’s best advocate. At that age I doubt anybody would diagnose your child. However it’s never too early to get on waitlists. Once they’re of school age. DO NOT limit yourself in diagnosis. It could be something other than ADHD. That’s my advice and I had a child much like yours.

Drs. Won’t test until 6 years old

3 is too young to be diagnosed…I think 5 is when they start the assessment process but if you are concerned about anything that seems off to you speak with your pediatrician. There are early intervention specialist that come to the home and work with your child and help you as parents with the things he would need. I knew there was something was different with my son when he was 2 but no one believed me. I’m still advocating for him with a reluctant husband. I did a lot of research on my own and implemented them in our daily lives. I also have adhd and what most people don’t understand is that the main symptom of adhd is emotional regulation NOT being distracted… so 3 might be difficult to diagnose seeing that is somthing they are learning at that age. Good luck mama. I really believe that moms “just know” so go with your gut and never stop educating yourself and advocating for your baby. :heart:

My son was diagnosed at 4 I did not want to go on meds I did the diet changes they advised. But the thing that helped the most was It’s getting our life on a schedule. It took away a lot of a days. Craziness. His fits use to be an epic performance and I seriously did not know how I was going to managed bit here we are he is doing great in school. Despite the dr saying he would not. And epic melt downs are few and far between

You can’t diagnose a three year old. JFC

One thing that may help is getting rid of all foods and candies and bath bombs that have red dye 40 in them it’s an it’s hard but I’ve seen a dramatic change in my child’s behavior from doing this

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My daughter is now 8 almost 9 she is adhd and not medicated. When she was younger it was difficult but I would legit send her outside lots of activities to wear her out. There were days she would wear pjs everywhere we went or dress up clothes I didn’t care she was dressed tantrums I learned if you just sit and don’t talk after 5 or 10 mins she would be ok. He is also a 3yr old and a boy don’t worry too much. And lavender is awesome.

Even at 3 there is a remarkable difference between the behavior issues of children with and without ADHD. It goes way beyond typical toddler defiance, and a pediatrician can help you determine if what you are experiencing is age appropriate or not. Many environmental factors could be exacerbating his symptoms, from gluten to dairy to food additives and preservatives to scents in cleaning supplies. Sensory processing disorder (SPD) can also be a factor as our modern child safety requirements can delay or undermine the human body’s natural development of the vestibular system, and occupational therapy can help develop those. The bottom line is don’t just start trying things on your own because some FB group suggests it - I guarantee there is another group that will advocate the exact opposite. Do some reading from reputable sources your doctor recommends, get assessments from multiple sources (teacher, daycare, sitter, anyone who spends time enough with your child to observe) and work with your Ped to find the right plan for YOUR child.

It could man things listed here , my son was the same way first it was add then clinical depression , the list goes on. At any rate routine is best friend , help him follow thru simple tasks and only one at a time. It is easy to get frustrated and lose your temper I know but some things are just going to be harder for him . Try to boost his self esteem as much as possible . Ask for help take a break when u need it. Even just going to the grocery store alone by all means do your research every child is different what works for one will not for another , keep trying. My son is now 41 years old and is one of nicest joy to be around person I know just saying . And by all means let him be himself listen to him . Just from a mom who has been there .patients sill be best friend also and lots of it

It doesn’t sound like anything to be too concerned with atm. It’s an age thing more than it is a disorder, in most cases. However, you could start with minor changes such as diet, let him play outside A LOT. I’ve even let my 6 and 4 year olds drink coffee which helps their mood and attitudes. Read black coffee if good to help balance out ADHD.

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He’s three that’s what three year olds do. I absolutely do not mean to sound rude I hope you don’t take it that way. He absolutely does not need mediation that makes kids like little zombies. My husbands mother put him and his brother on medication and my husband said it just made them numb to the world and they didn’t want to do anything. Please let him be young and have fun while he can. Because grown up life is hard

1st he is 3 and 2nd they cant be diagnosed till they are 5

That could just be the age. You can check but to early to tell for sure. Try cutting out peanut butter and decrease sugar intake.

Worse things are hot dogs and grapes

You can tell the difference early. Repeat, repeat, and repeat. One thing at a time. Create goals. Try doing things from different angles. Like let’s do jumping jacks when we get our pants on! Exercise and yoga help focus and body control. Diet is also a factor, remember their metabolism is running faster and caffeine, sugar, etc can affect them. Calming colors like blue help focus, so a table cloth for example will help a tiny bit at the dinner table.
Just be as patient and remember what is actually happening to their brain, they are just as frustrated and that’s what can bring the anger.

His/her diet. Change the diet change the child. Look up Cris Brown shes a nutritionist and has a page for adhd children.

He’s too young to test.

Patience is absolutely key. Telling him one thing at a time is best. My son is 14…and I still have to repeat things. He’s focus is short…kid still, to this day, cannot remember to put his milk and cereal up. And he eats it every single morning.

Have him use the potty when you do. Have him get dressed with others. My son hated being alone more than anything. So that may be it. Make it interesting. Turn those things into a race, like a game, who can do it faster. Let him win and celebrate his win!!

When he’s a little older is when it’s better to test. As he gets older, like my son, it’s absolutely important that they are taught to understand their diagnosis. They will hate they have it as much as you. So be patient and know they are struggling and the most basic task for other kids can be extremely hard for them.

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Adhd Nutrition Solutions is her page.

My oldest daughter does this, she will start to cry when she thinks something is to hard to do (without even trying first) we use a calm down chart, or a calm down bottle, her school is also helping her with some problems like random screaming, being in your personal space, consult a therapist for diffrent ways to help. My daughter is not on any medications as well, and trust me if you let her, she will stay up for days, i got a lightlight that spins with diffrent color stars to help her relax along with a sound box that plays diffrent sounds like waterfalls, thunderstorms, the ocean…ect we have to sit next to her in order for her to do her homework or she starts drawing on her paper.

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This is probably not the popular opinion but limiting screen time with TV and devices has shown to reduce behaviors. Give it a 2 week trial and see the difference.


Please look into sensory processing disorder. It is often mistaken for ADHD and even autism. Getting dressed and going potty can be overwhelming for some types of sensory sensitivities. Symptoms begin to show around three because that is when they become more overwhelming for both the child and parent. Get the book The Out of Sync Child and take the surveys. An occupational therapist can help align the senses. It is definitely worth exploring before a jumping on an ADHD diagnosis at such a young age.


My son is four and is boarder line adhd it was rough but im always working on his diet. The thing that works best for him is extra exercise I have him run sprints back and fourth then phrase him after. We have been able to stay off meds. It just get hard during winter with the cold weather.

I grew up with unmedicated ADHD, and I’m going to suggest to you that 3 is too young for an official ADHD diagnosis. HOWEVER, Autism often begins showing signs at 2 and 3. ADHD and Autism are “cousins”. Myself having ADHD, I quickly realized my daughter, at birth, had Autism. She is now 7. Diet changes help with both ADHD and Autism. Less sugar, less red and purple dyes in drinks and foods, but those can be given in moderation. More water. Also, find ways to begin early education in super fun and bright ways. We started at two with shapes, symbols, and sign language. You ask him to do simple tasks, but even simple tasks can seem arduous to those with ADHD and Autism, and that’s often because we have anxiety as a sign. Help do the tasks for a while, then slowly begin seeing yourself out of doing the tasks until you are no longer helping with them. Also, let him listen to music during these tasks, and make them out like games! Make the tasks fun!

I do suggest having him tested for Autism.


I tried the unmedicated with my now 9 year old. I was adamant about not putting her in medication; I ended up “caving” when she was six. It helped her to focus and be able to do things. I agree that 3 is most likely to young for an adhd diagnosis however he could have a combined form of ADHD or may be autistic. The first step would be to talk to the pediatrician and go from there.

Essential oils will not “cure” anything.


3 is way to young for an adhd diagnosis. I did the Feingold diet with mine at that ages. No food dyes I have both medicated boys and unmedicated. 9 is more of the age I even considered Meds

With all respect, how long have bio parents been divorced ? Did the child ever live with both of them ? Kids that age can have a reaction to a change (like parents seperating) and no way to express it. May not be the case with your family, but never hurts to consider all possibilities.

I stopped reading once she said hes 3…🤦


I didnt put my kids on medicine until their adhd started interfering with their school work. What you described is typical toddler behavior. Just let them be them and grow into themselves some more.

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He is 3 that is normal for a 3 year old. But if you are concerned allergies especially mild food allergies can cause ADD and ADHD symptoms, so can too much sugar in his diet. Also if he does not listen when told to do something punish him, if you don’t he will never learn to listen.

In nz they don’t diagnose till at least 8 … it I always knew something wasn’t quite right … he’s adhd and been on meds for 6 years … keeps his mind on track at school and keeps him focused… I did a parenting course which helped me learn how to help him get things done without meltdown he was my 3rd child so I thought I knew what I was doing … but alas no adhd kids are very different … he’s 14 now and his dad left 5 years ago couldn’t handle the pressure … since he’s gone my son copes well his dad used to yell and get wound up over stupid things that would spark our son off… good luck hang in there

Swimming helps fight ADHD. Cut sugar from his diet. I put my daughter into these two. She don’t have ADHD but quite hyperactive. It helped me to slow her down

I don’t think 3 is too young to diagnosis ADHD. My daughter had issues all though preschool and kindergarten, always getting in trouble. The kindergarten teacher actually separated her from the other kids. The preschool and kindergarten keep saying she was just being difficult. We finally took a test at Children’s Hospital when she was 7 and she was officially diagnosed with ADHD and was given medication. She went from struggling with school work to excelling. I wish we had pushed harder for the testing earlier because she missed learning a lot of social skills with other kids and has a hard time still at 15 making friends. Do what you think is best for your child.

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This is my not trying to diagnose him for anything im simply asking because other people have brought it to our attention.when my husband and i i first got together a year ago I was the one who noticed his speech issues that neither of his parents seemed concerned with.he couldnt talk except to say momma and dadda and point to what he wanted.we got him into speech therapy and it helped some but he still is very hard to understand.does a typically 3 year old scream like bloody murder when you put him to bed for 4+ hours? And not the typical i dont wanna go to bed this is like a scream like a monster is in there. I have raised 3 older kids of my own who ive never had issues with like we do with him and i also have a 2 year old son who u can understand speech wise more clearly than our 3 year old.he also eats like hes an infant,refuses to use silverwear and will scoop food up with his hands and sjove his mouth so full he can barely chew.although those may be normal for some kids im going based on his development versus our other 5 kids at that age

I have 4 kids they’re all adhd/hyperactive, the best thing I’ve found to do is just let them play outside and wear themselves out. Every day. Sunshine and playtime are the best medicine.

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He’s 3. They cant diagnose ADHD til after 5 years old. He’s still figuring out his emotions

I have 2 children with ADHD the eldest I was pushed to put him on medication. I tried it, he became suisidle so I took him off. He has inattentive ADHD. fast forward 10 years I have another son this one is HYPER DANGEROUS and full ADHD. I refuse to medicate because of what happened to me eldest. I tried everything then one of his teachers asked me to try them. said it was obvious he is struggling so bad. So I did. Different child. doing well in school and made me feel so awful one day when he said (mum I think I might be smart) I felt awful thinking I made him feel like he was stupid. in saying that I believe all 3 year olds have no attention span and are hyper. I suggest waiting til he is older. I have 8 kids in total! not just the 2 sons

First, 3 is too young for a diagnosis. Then, you need to see a specialist, not a pediatrician, for a diagnosis. ADHD is a type of neurodiversity that needs specific developmental tests be done. I suggest an educational psychologist. Please consider doing this.

3 is very young for a diagnosis.

3 years old? Sounds like the terrible 3s

He’s 3!? Ummmm. That’s too early to diagnose adhd. He sounds like your average 3 yr old. My oldest is 12 and we just started her on meds a year and a half ago.

Essential oils are not a way to medicate anything. Ever. Diet -can- help, in some cases. Keel in mind, however, that when he reaches school age, if changing his diet doesn’t help, then he may need to be medicated, at least on school days.
He’s also only three, and may just be being a normal three year old. Speaking to the doctor will hell though, and the earlier it’s diagnosed, the better you can control it by the time he’s in school.

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Wait until he’s older … I had to wait for my son to be diagnosed . He was 6 when a specialist would even see him.

I think at that age it is hard to decipher between ADHD and sensory, but I would lean towards sensory being so young.

My dr gave me this. For any behavioural disorder. ADHD and so on. Just had my 7yr old boy put on Concerta. Been challenging. Focus on the positive. Ask daycare and preschool and so on to make a positive chart that they can focus on. Positive short term goals. Where they make positive choices and work towards. 3 is a little young to diagnose. Have to start with a history with the dr. With input from daycare and up. When he is older- a dr may decide from behavior what choices to make. That is if he continues to show behavior issues as he is older. For now- focus on the positive. Reward the positive. These children have a difficult time expressing themselves. And we usually take it as bad. Their brain has not caught up with them yet. Usually very intelligent young people. I am learning. It has been a challenge. For now- love him unconditionally. Let him be a 3 yr old. A babe. Society has too many expectations of little ones. He will catch up. Just explain on children’s terms- right from wrong. Positive choices. They fluster easily and lose confidence. Make a positive time for them to understand when they can’t express themselves. When they don’t understand. Need a break. Need a nap. Hungry. Etc. It really does help. Time and most of all- patience :star2:


Developmental pediatrician can test…its kind of hard to test a three year old…I work with kiddos who have this type due to their age…

He’s also 3…which is a tough age.

Three is young for ADHD diagnosis. I highly suggest to look into SPD instead. My son is diagnosed with SPD and he’s 4

That medicine is not good for him it will only make him a zombie so don’t let them perscribe it or u will be sorry

Change his diet to no artificial color or artificial flavor. It costs a bit more but you will see an improvement

He sounds like a 3 yo

First off, he’s 3. He’s going to act that way. He’s learning his emotions.
Second, essential oils are no way to medicate.

I would wait until kindergarten for him to be assessed, IF that’s his issue. He’s quite young for any type of DX, in my opinion.

Something you can do is make sure his hearing is ok the next pediatric appt.

If you search long enough, you can find what your looking for that will confirm your suspicions and have you nodding in agreement or acknowledgement. But for every thing you read that supports your “prognosis “, there will be sites contradicting what you decided to believe. The easiest thing for lazy educators or overwhelmed parents to do these days is to throw up your hands, give up and blame the child for being a child. You should meet my three yr. old grandson. If they started looking at him, they’d have to come up with new afflictions. He’s a handful. Make that 2 handsful.But I love that kid more than life itself and fret that soon he won’t be three anymore.