How can I help my daughter understand it is dangerous to talk to strangers online?

Clearly she’s not mature enough to have online access. I would be taking that away, and spending more time educating her on the dangers online. When she’s a bit older and shows she can handle it, then give it back. Just my opinion that a child that age doesn’t have any need to be online anyway.

I think the show DeGrassi’s first episode was about online predators.

Pleaseeee show her the pants rule on nspcc and also there is links on nspcc for online dangers to xxx

There are plenty of things she can do without internet access.

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My 11 year old still has that issue now he plays video games where we can always monitor his tv and ps4 is now in the living room and since then we dont have issues with stranger danger also we use parent controls

Most games you can disable the chat… And show her documentaries of young teens and the dangers of social media… Let her watch catfish… Be upfront and dont candy coat it… You dont need to go into detail but she old enough to get the gist of what can happen…

Get the bark app!! Go to their Facebook page there is a video that shows you what kids deal with on line. It’s scary

Sometimes you just can’t get thru to a child how serious a situation is. My parents ended up putting a nanny cam on my laptop when i was a teenager so they could monitor what conversations I was having. A bit of an invasion of privacy with friends, however, also saved my ass from some serious trouble…

DanTDM on YouTube had a talk about app permissions and what information you give companies. He did a whole video on it using apps that claimed to call/talk to him directly (they were all some kind of recording). All through the video he kept reminding the viewers that he would never ask for any of the information being collected. I’m sure you could find another video on there that explains the danger of chatting with people online.

We’ve also watched Catfish and showed how people can pretend to be someone their not and get information and money from trusting people online. Our 8 y.o. plays fortnite and other games on console and isn’t allowed to play with a headset except on rare occasions when one of us is in the room too.

Child lock the tablet she’s using. My oldest is 10, she can’t install anything without approval

Contact your local police department and ask if one of the cyber crimes detectives can speak to her, they have community education courses. Although it sounds like there’s a reason this continues to happen and you need to get to the bottom of it with professional help.

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Honestly I was talking to strangers back then around that age (well more like 12) and I turned out ok. Lol just teach her safety

This is why children dont need iPads, tablets or computers. Let her have a small amount of internet time in the kitchen or wherever you are all hanging out and can watch her. Put childs lock on the devices you let her use. I would also be concerned that you have told her already it’s not acceptable and she did not listen to you, you need to put a consequence down for that. These kids dont need their own devices, they can use a family device or play on moms phone or something for a short while and that should be enough.

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Sounds like she is not old enough or responsible enough to be on. Take it away completely

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She needs to not have access. Period.
I’ve done some digging and the internet is no place for a child, until they understand the ramifications.
2,000 kids a day go missing in the US.

There are plenty of online groups and places that can tell you how they hide it from family members and that it’s so easy to find where you live or go to school.

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We use this app for our kids tablets. We can control everything from what time they can be on them, to what sites, etc plus downloads have to be approved. We do it all through our phones

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They have plenty of shows and movies out there that talk and deal with this topic. Maybe google about them and go from there. Goodluck

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She is definitely isnt old enough for internet privileges

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It may sound harsh, but I googled pictures of kids killed by pedophiles. I showed my kids the pictures & told them what happened to those children. It worked

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Parental controls. Turn of chatting.

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Make her watch some I.D. then tell her that she can’t have any of it back u til she proves that she understands the dangers and can be responsible enough to play the games. I am SUPER strict about this kinda stuff.

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If she cant listen then yeah take the device away! I believe 9is too young anyway!!!

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Take away the abilty to do so. She obviously isnt mature enough to handle the responsibility. Take it all away until shes older.

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I see people saying that she should be denied access completely. But let me tell you, strict parents make sneaky kids. If you caught her doing it after being told no what makes you think she won’t try to do it with her friends or without you knowing? I was that sneaky kid. She needs education. Even if it’s slightly shocking/horrifying, it’s better than being sheltered and not knowing what the real world is like because that is how you run into trouble. Especially as a young female. I’ve been there.

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She would have no internet privileges until she could follow the rules. And they would be given back in small supervised increments once she proves she can follow your rules. Privileges are earned not freely given.

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Have her watch some shows. Degrassi tackles this topic and I’m sure other teen shows do as well if the ID channel too harsh in your eyes.

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You can parental set a seperate account for her ! We had to do the same with our daughter she didnt understand either. We eventually sat her down and explained the dangerous people that lurk on the internet too and not just out in public settings.

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I went to school with a girl who was abducted and killed by doing this and every year they would have a Casey Woody week where her dad the police chief and fellow officers and family would come talk maybe can look it up online i know it scared the crap out of me about that age she lived in greenbrier ar maybe you can share her story with your daughter so she can see the realness of how dangerous it is on whats she’s doing

Run the iPad over with the lawn mower

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I control everything my 11 year old does. If she gets a text I get it first and do on

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Ever seen those videos of kids/teenagers, getting “taken” by their own parents. In a vehicle they dont recognize. And you are inside the vehicle, and prove to them there’re bad people in the world.

Honestly I’d pull up reports about missing girls and talking online with strangers. Even rape statistics when they are old enough! I know we try to shield children from harsh realities but sometimes it needs to be said to just help them realize!

It’s scary but it is a real problem globally!! Kids are not taking it seriously!

Find reports that happened closer to home!

Criminal minds season 10 finale deals with a case where two little girls go missing because they were talking to a “boy”!

My nieces had this issues. I had these issues. My mom

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I have all apps blocked from the chat access on my sons iPhone 11. I have to be the one that downloads any games he gets. He only has 7 friends that are on his Roblox acct and he can’t chat with them. He thinks I’m such a mean mom but working in law enforcement, he won’t have access to a lot of stuff until he is MUCH older!!!

Edit to add…he’s 8. He’s a damn good kid. It’s not him I’m worried about…it’s all the other crazy people in the world.

If she doesnt understand the dangers dont let her play that game

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I’m serious: have her watch season 10 episode 23 of criminal minds “the hunt” and she’ll never talk to strangers online EVER again

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Don’t allow the chatting. Block it off her device. My kid has a Kindle Fire. Is not allowed on social media,messenger,or to chat on games like Roblox. Can just play. Chat is blocked in settings. Will not be getting a cell phone until in middle.school and a cheap one then. No I phone or anything .

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Do not allow her online without parental supervision. The end.

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I feel like if she cant listen to the rules you lay down for the internet, shes too immature to be using it altogether. Wait till shes older and maybe try again but, for now, take it all away

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9 year old is WAY too young to be online chatting. If she cant listen take it for good. Get her a trackphone and 20 minutes for it :slight_smile: that’ll fix it

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Give her the scare of her life

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Tell her the terrible scary truth

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Take it away. Or set up to where she can’t play games that people can chat on.

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My mom showed me a movie called Megan’s missing. But that’s going to be a bit much for a 9 year old.

Is there a trusted tween/teen that can talk to her? My kids didn’t take it seriously until my niece backed me up.

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Show her news articles of things that have gone wrong.
For example a couple of years ago I read an article of a young boy who got attacked (sexually) in his front yard while his mum was home from a man who the boy thought was someone his own age that he had been talking too online

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Sounds like shes not old enough to be online

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I would gave her watch Megan’s law

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Scare the shit out of her …

There’s a thing called family link when your kid goes and downloads video games or gets on video games from Play store or Google or anything like that that notifies the family through email and lets them know that their kid is on a site or talking to people that they are not supposed to be talking to I have that setup on my boys has tablets and on their Kitty buzzes and you also can set a timer up on them too and it will lock it down if they go past their time

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Gonna play devils advocate here… just monitor what she does. Watch what she’s saying.I started playing online games at 7 years old (too young imo) and I met a group of 7 people at 7 years old that I am still best friends with at 24 years old. We’ve traveled across the country, have had sleepovers. My parents took me to meet them when I was like 13 and I had the time of my life. I have friends in real life, but my online friends are my best friends in the whole wide world. You said she keeps doing it behind your back. Instead of keep taking it away, why don’t you just be included? My parents and grandparents looked at my texts, watched me play the game, and even included themselves on Skype calls by sitting in the same room and chatting to them too. Just my input. Obviously do what you think is best

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Block all online games and messaging. If she can’t obey the rules they get strickter or she looses the access to electronics.

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Download offline games and don’t give her any internet access unless its school related

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my kids chat online, but i also talk to them and remind them every day of the dangers that poses and what red flags to look for and what to avoid. i remind tjem every day bcz i know that when i was that age sometimes i wd forget or i wd not always know the difference. i also make sure i know their group of friends very well and if i see someone new i ask as many questions as possible. i always keep a close eye on their texts. im proud of my kids bcz i’ve seen them block and tell off anyone who seems strange… i also try to get involved in their chats just so they’ll know i am present and looking out for my kids. thank God til now we haven’t had to proceed any further than to just block people. i don’t think banning ur child will solve the problem, just take the time for her, let her have her little life, but get involved. this lets her know ur not being an ass ur just looking out for her and she’ll learn to involve you down tje road. like mine do… i’m actually learning how to play warzone for my 10 year old​:rofl::rofl::rofl: but hey, anything for their safety

My sons 10 and has been watching true crime with me since he was little. He knows what could happen!

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There’s a guy on YouTube who does videos where the parents get him to talk to the child under a fake account and talks them into meeting and he “kidnaps” them and puts them wherever the parents are hiding and watching. It’s eye opening for sure, maybe try to find them. Taking away the electronics will just make the kid find ways to do it behind your back. When I was younger my mom took my phone and changed the WiFi password, it took a total of 3 hours to find a replacement phone laying around the house, and for my sister to ask for the password and get it for me🤷🏻‍♀️ I just turned all my stuff to offline mode and made it look like I wasn’t active until she gave it back.

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at that age, remove the opportunity. She can’t get online unless you are in the room and have a direct view of her activities. End of story

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You tell her she is 9 and it’s not her decision.

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Bad mom advice:
My 9 year old plays apex legends and fortnite and I allow him to have his mic. I also play apex. And so does his dad and a couple other family members. I told him when we first allowed him to have a mic without one of us in his lobby “DO NOT TELL ANYONE ANYTHING ABOUT YOU OR THEY WILL FIND OUT WHERE YOU LIVE AND KIDKNAP YOU AND YOU WILL LUCKY IF THEY DONT KILL YOU WHEN THEY GET YOU TO WHERE THEY ARE GOING.”
Harsh? Yea.
Did it work? Yup!
He has met a 2 or 3 children his age and added them. But they are legit Children. And he plays with them daily. It’s to the point now when I pop in(wich i do often) and he hears me ask who kam is playing with he always says “hey lucky mama”(my gamer tag) or " hey kams mom"

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If you can’t figure out parental controls then you need to be present and actively monitoring her use. Period.

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You are asking for advice from strangers…online… ummm…

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I would cut off internet. I didn’t have it growing up. I got my first flip phone at 13 only to call family because I stayed at home by myself.

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Honestly I have 5 children my older 4 play online games and ps4 online games with a mic or chat their 14,12, and 7 year old twins and my twins are verbal autistic they chat and talk to people online but we told them ahead of time you never mention your full name, address, school or town you live in. We have never had any issues they know what could happen if they told anyone that information. We have never given our children a reason not to trust us with anything and in return we trust them to know what’s right and wrong even our special needs twins. We also limit any tablet of ps4 use to our living room so we know what they are saying and doing. Honestly I grew up in a strict household no online games no going out without supervision, my parents/grandparents would go through my computer and emails etc and I hated it and started just using my friends stuff at school so they would stop monitoring every move I made and honestly they smothered me so much I don’t talk to my grandparents hardly ever anymore and they pretty much raised me and I only ever talk to my dad if it’s holidays because they always acted like I couldn’t be trusted even when I never gave them a reason not to trust me, my mom on the other hand trusted me and I literally told her everything and I mean everything and she gave me room to be myself and talk to anyone as long as I never gave personal information and I still have people I was chatting online with in hs as friends today and I talk to my mom every day. Maybe let your child know what not to say online and trust them to understand the risks before you punish them for just trying to make friends to play the game with

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My granddaughter likes to watch videos and I don’t always have time to sit and watch what’s going on. I hooked a Chromecast up and it works with your cell phones, tablets, iPads, and it casts what you’re looking at to the TV. I get alerts on my phone that someone is casting to whichever TV you use. That way I can keep an eye on her while I’m doing dishes.

Why not just set boundaries for what she can and cannot talk about with people she doesn’t know in real life. :woman_shrugging:
She’s going to be in situations where she doesn’t know what to do, so teach her.
That’s life, mom.

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Like you said, you’ve been trying over and over and the same turn out and this person’s advice I’d try. The old saying of if ya can’t beat em, join em! Good luck.

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You add parental controls from your phone with a pin. My oldest has special needs and she has an iPad. In order to FaceTime we turn the camera on and off from my phone or my husbands. Other stuff are enabled too. She’s got pre selected #’s for text messaging and so on. We even had her internet browser removed for a few years. All our kids can request games and in app purchases but it goes to our phones again to be approved, the WiFi goes off at certain times. Each kids has their own tailored options based on age and maturity. It can be done and it MUST be done. nothing special has to be purchased it’s straight through your phone but I’m sure there’s a YouTube video on it.

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Make her watch this. 你暂时被禁止使用此功能

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Honestly she just wouldn’t have access to it if she was my daughter. Nine years old is old enough to know to listen to your parents.

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Stop letting her play. Take the games away from her.

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Teach her what to say, teach her what not to say. Don’t dictate it because it’s going to happen, especially right now but teach her how to keep herself safe.

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We tell our daughter what is appropriate to talk about, not her real name, location, school ever! Only fake names or we will take all games away.

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With this generation, it’ll be hard to stop it completely. Just make sure she knows not to give any personal info, no pictures, etc. And trust that she’ll come to you if any sketchy goes on

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Show her these. This guy has a fake cam pic and catches pedophiles. It’s real real and scary and they are EVERYWHERE

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Look on you tube there is a guy that did a demostration on a girl that was talking to strangera on line amd meets up with them the parents were in on it and they staged it…can u catch her in the act maybe go.on an create a name as a stranger amd talk to her see what info she is acually giveing out or if she is habeing just a regular conversation. Definitely install strict parental controls

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Watch the movie strangeland with her. Make sure it’s the one with the pierced up guy. It will scare her. My mom did that to me.

I found YouTube videos about sex trafficking and how they find their victims etc on YouTube and shared them with my kids. My daughter was caught telling somewhere where she goes to school and we just made it a really big deal

Dont let her play on line. Simple solution. Plenty of other things for 9 year old to do.

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No more online games until she is older.

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Web of lies . That show will definitely teach her!

I’m in this boat with my 9yr old with Roblox. :woman_facepalming: I use FamilyLink to control her phone, told her I’m close to deleting the game! I also have a problem with Roblox bc in one of its games people can write on the chalkboard and there have been very racist things my child has came across. :pensive:

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I showed videos of WHY I get nervous about online strangers. She lies all the time online now.

Take it away then completely of you dont want her doing that. When my brothers and I was that age or maybe a lil older we had online with our game systems and talked and made friends online we knew what was okay and what wasnt some of the ppl we played with we became friends with in real life and still is friends to this day even after 10 to 15yrs. It’s all about how you feel and there is shows that you could show her so maybe she can understand more what you are talking about.

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Take it away permanently.

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I made my kids watch web of lies… no problem since then.

Take the phone away grow up alittle more

I would take it away indefinitely

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Take it away?:woman_shrugging:t3:
If you fell you can’t do that, make her watch some videos on the danger. Kids being taken etc, might scare her off it

Set parental controls or take it away.
My sons 9 and plays games and talks to people online…most of them are around his age but there was one person he was playing/talking to and it turned out to be a 40 something year old man. I didnt mind bc they were just playing the game and he knows not to give any information to anyone plus we have 2 living rooms right beside each other so I can hear everything anyways. Most of the time he plays with his friends in their our private missions so no one else can play with them.

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Get the movie strangeland with dee snyder and have her watch it…

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My 9 year old was getting a bit bold on technology- now he doesn’t get it :woman_shrugging:t2: 9 is a bit young to truly grasp the dangers of online behavior and apply it to themselves- teens even struggle with that! So logic and reasoning will not teach her self control. Sometimes we have to protect them from themselves until they are old enough to grasp the consequences of their behavior.

Just dont allow her on it.
Print some articles on child grooming and make her listen. Shes a kid

Why is a nine year old allowed on the internet?

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If she cannot understand then she should not have access to electronics. At that age she understands the dangers. Take everything away I have a 9 almost 10 year old stepson he got his cell taken away and smashed because he kept going on chat sites and watching adult content.

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My daughter talked to friends from other states while playing but she didn’t give her real name or age. She was 10 at the time. She’s 15 now and still talks to them.

This is exactly how kids get sex trafficked. Take every electronic device away and watch her like a hawk. Don’t put your guard down and I would tell any adult that has access to her exactly what is going on. No sleep overs, no “fun”. And when you ignore all the advice that is being given to you, don’t come whining on Facebook how your kid disappeared. Be strict!

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Ok, this is harsh… But it will teach her a lesson… So, when my kiddo was you get we had the same problem…so, I created an account as someone else and started chatting with her and was very GRAPHIC with a lot of things. It made her SO uncomfortable that she shied away on her own… AND … I had a friend from high school kinda follow her from the bus stop home. She had never met him before… She was so freaked out that she fessed up and apologized and understood what she was doing. I have never told her he was a friend of mine and he sadly passed away this year on labor day. I miss him so. But because of Jerry, my daughter was taught a lesson.

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Oh, that sucks so bad!!! I hope you find a way to get through to her, that’s so dangerous for her and her family… so many cases of kids that get convinced to kill their entire families over the internet and stuff like that… :frowning:

Scare the hell out of her… I did that to my cousin she kept running off in Walmart I followed her until she didn’t see me I grabbed her and covered her mouth it scared the holy hell out of her she never ran away again

Take her to the police station. And get them to explain real horror events from online strangers

I had the talk with my 11 year old son a while ago. I told him the basics. 1. Don’t let them know your full name. 2.Don’t tell them where you live or your address. 3. If you feel uncomfortable, leave. 4. I WILL monitor your conversations. 5. You will tell me your passwords and if you dont, no internet.

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