Best friend had an emergency C section last night. Mom and baby are safe and healthy. THE QUESTION: What are some REAL ways to help without getting in the way? She was 10 weeks ahead of me and I’m 25 weeks. My husband and I are coordinating with her husband to get one of their 2 vehicles at the hospital home and the baby car seat to them.Any food or items they want to be delivered. Watching their older little. I’m just unfamiliar with C-section specific needs and wanted the nitty gritty from the experts. Thanks Mamas!!
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How can I help my friend who just had a c-section? - Mamas Uncut
Do laundry and dishes
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Coming from A C section mama offer her assistance around the house if you can or or help with the baby and let her get some rest when dad can’t be there. Freezer meals are awesome or Uber eats gift card or something like that.
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Haven’t had a C-section but you’re a great best friend for doing all of this for your bestie!
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Lots of rest and definitely no heavy lifting
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FOOD!! My best friend also just had a c section. Easy to reheat meals will be their friend
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Cook her some meals. Encourage her to get up and move & offer to get laundry out of washer and dryer (that was literally the hardest chore after)
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My sister bought us a few pre made meals from Costco, like a giant taco platter you just had to heat up, So we didn’t have to cook for a couple days after we got home! It was the sweetest thing and the thing I was most grateful for after coming home!
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I was swollen and extremely sore for the first couple of weeks. Meals, laundry, and she needs to more around within reason.
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She is going to be hurting too. She needs rest - and good food. I had an emergency c-section about 62 years ago - it was 3 days before I was able to hold my baby.
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Take her a pillow for the way home for across her belly for way home .
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Food, house cleaning, laundry, belly band, pads. She can’t lift more than ten pounds the first month so anything you can do to help her not have to lift will be helpful.
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Any house chores you can do for her will help a lot. Maybe some meals already made. Get her a bunch of pillows she can use to lay on since it hurts to lay flat on your back and try to get up.
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Let her shower. Have someone clean floors and toilets. Have someone do her hair pretty or maybe her nails. It’s not just physical.its emotional as well. All mommies want a natural vaginally birth. Being unable for whatever reason lessens their emotional bond with baby. Physical pain can also make it hard to breastfeed. So some girl time with happy movies a couple snacks and laughter helps
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Offer to help clean or help get items when the baby needs it (like diapers, wipes, etc). Bring her food, a foot rub, a massage. Watch the baby while she showers or naps.
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Cook, laundry, dishes, clean up where can.
A boppy pillow the hold baby comfortably
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Housekeeping, cooking, hand baby to her, maybe go to baby appointments with her if you can and carry baby for her if you can.
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Pads! She can’t lift anything heavier than the baby. No driving. No going up down stairs. I just had one 3 weeks ago. It was tough first couple of days but it gets better!
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My biggest thing with both mine was house work and keep other kids busy,
Maybe a few pr-made meals
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Some support, I know I needed someone there. Just to be there is awesome
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Frozen meals/food gift cards snacks drinks
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Just had my baby 3 days ago and on behalf of all the mommas going through this she is soooo lucky to have someone like you even want to help the right way! Kudos to you and may god return the love and bless you always 
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Clean floors and toilets. Anything that requires core muscles do! Both of mine were emergency and nobody came to do anything around my house. I have 4 kids a dog and a husband that is gone from the house working more than home. He can do things but getting in the swing of caring for the house kids and myself was very rough on him.
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Definitely meals
If she’s not particular about her laundry, do it for her. Wash her bed clothes, too.
Any dusting, vacuuming, mopping that you or hubby would be willing to do.
Clean her bathrooms.
Snacks, drinks, bottles of water.
Ask her and make sure she’s been given an abdominal binder at the hospital.
Maybe get her a new sleep shirt☺️
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I didn’t have a c-section but I wanted to say you are an awesome friend. I wish I had someone like you when I’d first had my son. Absolutely adore the bond you two have.
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Ummm you’re an AMAZING bff for considering her like this.
C-section mom x 3 here. I wish I had someone like this!
- Childcare if she has other children
- dishes
- laundry
- help with pet care
- rest
- watch baby while she showers
- bring meals & coffee
- help her move around slowly and gently in small spurts to allow her to heal from the C-section
- lots of water & snacks if she’s breastfeeding
- some low key, low maintenance company to watch some shows with or just talk when she’s feeling up to it
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I was forever grateful for a shower. Alone. Comfy pants that won’t rub the incision site. A belly band. But really just comfy clothes and a shower more than once every two weeks. I had a C-section 3 years ago and I was grateful to get any help that I fould
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I’d suggest helping clean her house and cooking. When I had mine everyone was quick to jump in and take care of my baby and I was such a push over I let them. What I really needed was someone to do all the other stuff so I could heal and bond with my baby. Instead I didn’t get a lot of time with him and that broke my heart. So if you really want to help give her the opportunity to bond with her baby. You say she has an older one? Help care for that one a bit so she has 1 on 1 time with the new baby.
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Honestly just helping her pee and shower is literally the best gift ever lol
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Paper plates plastic cups and plastic forks ! Saves dishes from piling up !
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I think what you’re doing is great, you’re a good friend
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Homestly… what I wanted the most was the company. My hubby had to immediately go back to work so other than him or my mom attending to the baby, I was in bed alone
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You are a great friend and a wonderful person! The world could use a million of you!
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Cooking, cleaning and support. You are a great friend
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Casserole dinners. Makes first weeks so much easier to just pop in oven.
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I have no suggestions but I think it’s really nice of you guys to help 
Great advice here!! I’d say, make sure she has her pain meds and maybe stool softener since prescription pain meds often cause constipation.
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I just had one 3 weeks ok. Support and offering to clean and cook
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What a great friend you are. Mom of two c section babies and definitely hard. You’re an absolute angel for this.
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Umm 
Don’t make her laugh or sneeze 
?
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She’s going to be sore for awhile. The benefits of a C-section is that she can sit comfortably, but not lay on her stomach. How long does her husband have family leave from work? Typically they don’t give them too long. The best help you can give is to fix casseroles so they don’t have to cook much the first week or so. The baby and little one will be a handful for a little bit. Nobody will be getting any too much sleep. You could offer to go over and do a couple of loads of laundry if they need it. Or maybe just hold down the fort while they catch a couple of hours sleep. When in doubt, ask. And thank you.
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Omg…what I would have done to have a fiend like you when I had 2 of my c sections…theres so much to be done that she cant do…cooking a large spag bol or similar to do a couple of nights…sweeping and vac ing …bake some cakes or deserts…washing…loading and unloading dishwashers…and just be there…shes very lucky…
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Awesome you are there for her! I had 2 c-sections (laterally, hip to hip) so I know she’s going to appreciate any and everything you do for her. Everyone is giving you great ideas, but I just want to give you kudos! You’re awesome!
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I had 2 c sections. Meals are amazing. Some household chores or at least show the Significant other how to do certain chores. C section is painful and she won’t be able to do anything for at least 4 weeks. Even watching the baby for a few hours so she can nap helps!
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Light cleaning and meal prep
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Microwave or easy to make meals helped a lot in the early days. Especially with a newborn or ask if 2-3 times a week if you can drop off dinner ask them what they would like. Offer to help clean or watch Bubs so she can shower or rest.
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Helping with meals make sure mom is OK it’s very sore after a C-section
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Prepare some oven ready food for them. Things that are easy like lasagne, casseroles, home made chili. Stuff like that.
Help out with cleaning, errands, stuff like that. Make sure she has lots of pillows. I had to sleep pretty much sitting up. Take her to appointments. She will have a few coming up for herself and the baby. She won’t be able to drive and hubby will likely be working or taking care of the other one. Or you can offer to babysit the older one as well. Just be there. Her body has been through hell and back.
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That’s very kind of you to offer help. I’d say that food in easy to dispose of containers (no cleanup!) would be great along with baby and mother supplies from the grocery and drug store. Comfy slippers and robe are nice. How far is she with her baby room? Does she need help with that? Remember that heavy lifting is not good for her. So many people do not realize that with all the joy of baby’s arrival, the mother is recuperating both from what was probably a difficult labor followed up with major surgery!! Remember the surgeons had to cut through 5 layers to get that baby OUT! That hurts. And yes I know what I am talking about, I had 2 c-sections at 34 & 37. Bless you for your kindness and for your own family too! <3 <3 <3
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Meals for the family are a huge help 
cleaning around the house takes a huge stress off. Etx
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My bestie got me undies that were high waisted and a couple sizes bigger so they wouldnt rub, as well as pj pants. I will be forever grateful. It was my first time as i had natural with my other 2. My FIL brought me a triangle pillow and put that around my tummy it was amazing.
Youre a great friend 
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She should not lift over 10 IBS for the first 6 weeks. Maybe help clean and cook. She needs to walk and be active so gas pains don’t set in. Gas hurts more than the incisional pain and she can get rid of gas by walking. Walking also keeps her from developing blood clots.
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Help her take care of her house, older child, and herself. Following my sister’s section I did laundry, dishes, cooking/meal prep, vacuuming, grocery shopping, took care of her older kids who were in school at the time. I did the same for my best friend. They both returned the favor when I started having babies after a week or 10 days I did allt less and was mostly a nanny cuz I wanted to be 
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Honestly, I healed wonderfully from my C-section. I was out of bed less than an hour later. I had my son at 5:42pm & I begged to be discharged the next morning at 8am. Also sent dad home the night he was born. (We have lots of animals that needed tending too, and secretly I’m grateful I got him all to myself those few hours. Cause I also refused all help from the nurses. I was fine. Which I hear is rare/weird.)
My husband helped me take a shower the next morning before I went home, like getting me undressed.
The ONLY mistake I made was when I went to bed the night I got home, I laid like I usual would. So when our son woke up the first time, I had to try & sit up from laying down, & using those muscles like that hurt like fuck. Hubby had to help me sit up.
If I had one good suggestion it would be a pillow like this. Something comfy, but to kind of keep her inclined while she sleeps. & maybe some stool softeners. I was terrified to try & poop even though I wasn’t in any pain at all.
& sleep. Sleep deprivation is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. My husband was wonderful. But I had one really good friend. Hannah. She’s come over when my son was just a few weeks old, & she’d stay up ALLLL night. Not sleeping a wink. So that I didn’t have a chance to her our son before she got to him, so that I could get sleep that wasn’t all broken. I’ll never forget it. Hannah & one other friend, (aside from my hubby & sister) were my life lines those first few weeks.
Honestly a good wash (shower) once every couple days and some frozen food to warm up would probably be fabulous.
I had 2 csections and all I remember was how hard getting up was…what you’re doing is amazing!
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Anything that she will need to care for baby have it organized and ready in one location. This way she’s not trying to move around 2 much until staples come out. Good supply of pads for boobs and other area set and ready to go.
Food and offer to help watch the baby so she can nap. Really for any mom who just gave birth.
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Snacks.
And a cozy blanket maybe a ice pack or two.
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Bless your heart, you are truly an amazing friend & whatever help you give her will be much appreciated I’m sure!!!
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Maybe he’ll her with laundry, dishes (bottle washing) & meals. She might need you to run to the store for things sometimes
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Let her have the baby. You offer help with laundry, dishes, meals.
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Time to shower. Cause it’s not easy with the incision. And the things you mentioned. Food, help with other child. Best to you all!
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I want to start off by saying that you are an amazing friend! I had two c sections. I would say that meals and light cleaning would be helpful. Also disposable plates, cups and utensils so they do not have to worry about dishes.
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I agree, precooked meals
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I had a c- section and I really needed help around the house. It took forever to get up and usually by then I had to pee. So definitely some cleaning or babysitting if they have another child. Everyone always wants to bring food but with multiple people bringing food it can become overwhelming
Honestly anything to take any work off of her would be wonderful. She’ll need a significant amount of time to heal, won’t be able to pick up her other child for quite awhile, it can be a pretty rough recovery, especially the first few weeks.
First of all, you’re an amazing friend.
Secondly,
meals, light cleaning, laundry. (The less she has to do the better)
Offering to watch the kiddos while she catches up on sleep.
All the above is good, my sis had to have those so help with basic food cleaning even watching little ones for her to rest.
I’ve had 3 Cs. She won’t be able to carry anything heavier than the baby for 2-3 weeks, or drive. Getting groceries and putting them away, schlepping laundry, and changing beds are all helpful. If you can organize a meal train with family, neighbors, church community, etc., those are a huge help. Holding the baby while she takes a shower and a nap are always winners, regardless of delivery method.
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I don’t have any experience with C sections, but from what I’ve been told, offering to do simple tasks like sweeping, vacuuming, mopping and laundry could be a huge help. I know someone who tore her stitches just from sweeping too soon.
The first couple of weeks will be tough physically and possibly mentally. Helping with meals and cleaning, if the area where baby will be or other baby things need sorting she can sit and you assistant her with that.
A compression band. It can feel like a carpet burn on your insides after a cough or sneeze. Casserole meals for her freezer so her husband can just throw them in the oven . She can not hold her older little for 6weeks. It can cause her c-section to bust open or get infected . Showers only no baths (again this can cause infection) heating pads and ice pads so she can tuck into the lining of her pants. Most of all she needs to walk but not over do it .
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Maybe making her frozen meals or those hello fresh service I think they’re called something where she won’t have to be doing chores bc from personal experience it was very painful and you really want to take the time to let your body heal
Or even cleaning services don’t let her pick anything up heavier then her baby
If you could start a meal train for them, that would be awesome. Offer to help with the house work. She’s not going to be able to lift anything heavier than baby for a few weeks.
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Shes not allowed to lift anything heavier than her baby. No driving for her either.
So maybe help in house and offer to run errands she may need .
Cleaning, babysitting, meals, errands such as groceries. Holding baby while mama has a shower or sleeps an hour or so. I had 3 c-sections and had infections all 3 times so someone to hand baby to mama when mama needs to feed or change baby.
Time for her to shower!! It’s so difficult after the operation and takes a while… I know I would rather not do it than feel rushed for the first couple weeks
Drop off a gift basket Of snacks and maybe an outfit for baby. That was huge when my friend dropped it off without pressuring me to host a guest
I just wanted peace and someone to take my older ones for a few days lol. I’ve had three scheduled sections, one emergency.
A gift card for a food place so I didn’t have to cook, bigger sized diapers, like size one or two instead of newborns. Simple things are the best.
I renege bending and getting out of bed was a chore during nighttime feedings and picking the baby up. I had a boppy pillow that ended up being my favorite thing during feeding.
Just wanted to say you are an awesome friend!
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I came home and moved the next weekend. Packed, stashed, put boxes in cars, vacuumed. all in all I didn’t think it was all that bad. Just didn’t lift anything real heavy due to restrictions and sutures
Get/prepare meals for the family and maybe offer to help watch any older children in the household. Maybe clean up around the house for them too
U can help with what ever she needs ( I’ve had 2 )
Meals , cleaning, let her nap . Help hold the baby
Let her shower and clean the house.
Calico Hollingsworth can you give some ideas
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l get paid over $197 per hour working from home. l never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $18265 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.
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Every tu.e you come over, either start a load of laundry or move clothes from the washer to the dryer. It’s so easy to get swamped
Cleaning and buy dinner or pick up stuff she needs from the store
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Don’t ask how you can help with the kids, ask how you can help her. Offer to take her older kid out somewhere so she has time alone with the baby, offer to stay home with them both so she can go out and have some VERY much needed time to herself. Bring meals that are ready to be heated and require zero effort. Stop by with coffee, snacks, tell her to take a shower or take a nap while you watch the babies. She’s not supposed to lift anything so I’d focus on taking care of the older kid most of all.
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You are amazing you and your hubs
If she’s got kids definitely help with that. Anything that requires lifting or standing for a long time. It burns 
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Take the car to the police station or a local safe kids office to assure it’s installed correctly.
Every woman is different. I couldn’t lay down for awhile after my csect. So a place she can sleep sitting up may be helpful. If they don’t have a recliner maybe rent one?
Stairs are tough so if she has a 2 story house bring what she’ll need for herself & baby to the main floor.
Watch the baby while she showers. And prepared food all the way! Listen to every venting session. This will be everything!
Offer to help clean up her house or maybe if she has pets or anything not taken care of already I know my mom helped me a ton with that type of thing for the first couple weeks so that I could just focus on the baby and resting my wound. It’s really hard to do alot with that scar at first so any little thing you can do to help with that will def go a long way. 
Also maybe babysit so she can get a nap in here and there.
If she lives in a 2 story house, best to stay on one floor. Sleeping in a recliner is a lifesaver!