How can I make my child understand he has to share?

How can you make your child understand they need to learn to share? my 2 year old is an only child so when kids come up to him at daycare (he just started going) he will get mad and hit them if they try to touch things hes no longer even holding…i just dont know how to get him to understand when he doesnt have any siblings…

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How can I make my child understand he has to share?

I would play out situations at home with my son. I’m working on it currently with my almost 3 year old. Talk nice and make them understand. “We share with others” “we take turns like a good boy or girl” “ friends share” “ let’s take turns” just a working progress. I give time outs if my kid becomes violent or I take away the toy until he can act nicer…All kids go thru this stage.

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Generally, children that young are not capable of sharing because their brains are not developed in those areas yet.

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At that age they do not play together they play side by side. He’ll share in a few years.

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Even with siblings… 2 yr old just don’t know how to share. My child screeches when he doesn’t get his way. And hits. But my older son whose 2.5 yr older will hit him back. Sometime it takes getting hit back by another kid. Becuz that will happen. Having more then one of the same toy may help. Having child watch adults share may help him. But it’s just a long journey to teach how to share. Praise him for sharing when he does.

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I’m not exactly too sure how I would word it BUT I would focus on teaching the difference of community items and his own stuff.

I wouldn’t stress about this. He’s 2. It’s a typical thing for that age.

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He still very little, at his age most kid do not share , and everything belongs to them , teach him by examples, stay at your own place

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At this age, kids don’t know how to share. They don’t understand yet. Because they play side by side instead of together, they don’t get what it is to give up one toy for another. It takes a little while and takes patience. You can try playing with him at home and when you pick up a toy he has put down and he gets mad, tell him, no it’s my turn, and redirect him to the toy he’s holding. He might slowly catch on. But it won’t happen overnight. He’s too young.

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My 3 toddlers have issues sharing. And the oldest is 4. It’s something they need to be taught and even then it’s rough

I have 4 kids and my 2 year old and 5 year old both don’t understand the concept of sharing they have an older sister but they still don’t share I have to explain and explain to my 5 year old (almost 6) he will share sometimes and it depends on who the person is he will also play with other kids (sometimes) but when he has had enough of the other kids or sharing he will walk away from them and stop playing with them and just play by himself :woman_shrugging: my son is more content playing with socks, underwear, shoes (sometimes) and some toys then he is with sharing or playing with other kids. Never met another kid like my son. My 2 year old will only share with her 9 year old sister we are still working on our kids. We hope our 5 year old will get better once he starts school 

That’s why I always took turns with the toys when playing with my daughter :slight_smile:

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Children at this age are not able to share and do not understand the concept. The concept of sharing doesn’t develop till the ages of about 4-6.
Lots of modeling and talking about it.
I just remind my children, they are playing when done you can have it, and redirect

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Start demonstrating sharing with him, use food and toys. Use phrases like “share with mum?” And “mum share with childs name” tell him hes doing a good job and give him a hi five when he does it. He will eventually pick up on it and it’ll become an automatic habit. My 2 year old loves sharing with his daycare friends and this is all we ever did to teach him :blush:

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They will have to teach him at daycare. I am sure he isn’t their first rodeo.

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Maybe, just maybe he doesn’t have the capacity to understand sharing?

It takes effort but the daycare teachers will need to tell him no you are not playing with that, so it’s ____ turns. And when he try’s to take a toy they need to correct it.

And at home you can sit and play with a toy and be like it’s moms turn how about you play with this one!

Also teach him to ask can I play with dump truck and it’s ok if the person playing with it says no, they don’t have to give it up cause you want it.

I get told so much so I’m so not sharing, I’ll ask did you ask can they play with it? Then I explain about taking turns and waiting for your turn.

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Kids can’t fully comprehend sharing till 7-8. He’s still very little… and an only child. Just keep working with him at home! All you can do.

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You can’t make a 2 year old do anything

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Do it at home until he learns. Takes awhile

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Practice sharing with them. My 2 year old almost 3 is an only child and shares pretty well. But we practice practice and set boundaries. Like you can have this for 5 min then I get it. Or you sip then me. N if she throws a fit the toy gets put up and we don’t play. Works wonders

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Sharing isn’t developmentally appropriate at this age. They don’t understand it until about 4-6 years old. I would just work on not hitting.

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My oldest first day of prek was his first interaction with kids his age (I was young) when I went to pick him up there was a note…my child smacked someone else in the face with a microphone because the other kid wouldnt talk into it…hes now 19 and shares just fine hes actually the sweetest and most generous of them all…ur baby (because at 2 they are still babies)will get there

Just started! He will learn!

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Anyone saying he can’t be taught to share is wrong…my kids learned to share around the age your child is…it is possible

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So it all starts at home. Find someone of his and start playing with it showing how much fun it is. Then invite him to play too. Let him play with the toy for a little while. Then talk about how you want to play again. And join in with him

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I agree practicing taking turns, but also set up play dates with friends (who have kids his age) who are understanding and willing to help your kiddo get the concept. Talk to daycare teachers too and make sure this is a good fit for your fam. The toddler rooms are wild. I worked in a few, usually understaffed and lots of kids. No matter how hard we tried, there were a lot of tears and tantrums. Plus once one kid started hitting or biting, it caused a chain reaction of all of them doing it. A lot of it depends on class size. We usually had 20 to 28 kids with 3 to 4 teachers which still isn’t enough. Your eyes can’t be every where at once. Make sure the daycare is a sm class sz. Your kiddo could have been the 3rd one hitting that day and not the instigator so get the real story. Because a lot of kids at that age are still learning social skills and you want to be sure he isn’t picking up bad habits from the daycare. Just a FYI, those toddler rooms are crazy!

Maybe you need to start doing some play dates invite friend with kids over any kid to play with him so he can learn it takes time but he he learn

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Kids don’t even have the ability to understand sharing until they are older. Instead of focusing on sharing, focus on other ways he can let his anger out instead of hitting.

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How can you actually you believe a freaking 2 year old can understand anything?

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Don’t just let him grab toys from you at home. Just randomly start playing with his toys and he will come to play with you and take it… just keep repeating your boundaries indefinitely… FOREVER… But yea good luck mom you got this… plus the day care will help.

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That is very typical behavior. I saw it all the time when I worked with infants and toddlers. Start playing with him at home. When he puts a touch down, pick it up and start playing with it. When he reacts, just tell him that it’s your turn, and keep playing.

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Teach him to share !! Start with a cookie… ask him if he wants to share. Buy a toy he wants… tell him it yours & ask if he wants to share. Little by little, he will learn to share.

I saw this video where it said a child’s mind doesn’t always have the capacity to learn to share until they are around 4. I’ve worked on getting my daughter to share since she was about 2 shes almost 4 and shares everything even her candy

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You could try playing with him so that he has to share with you, also asking him to offer his toys to other people in the house so he can see their happy reaction. Toddlers usually enjoy big expressions so making a big deal when he shares might encourage more sharing

We taught my daughter about taking turns and got a book about sharing that was written for her age range. She’s an only child also so the child interaction wasn’t there. She started daycare at 1.5 I believe? The daycare director and I both worked with her on taking turns rather than sharing because it was easier for her to grasp. I also started when she would ask for something I had giving her some and saying “yes baby of course I can share with you” or if she had a snack and wanted to give me some I would say “thank you so much for sharing” both very happily so there was a good and positive association with sharing with others. She’ll be 4 soon and still struggles from time to time with sharing. She’s around more kids now but ya know.

It’s hard when they are 2 my 2 year old is my middle child but we started teaching him gentle touches very young he dose not get “in trouble” when he hits because he’s just to little to understand so what we do is if he hits my oldest we will take his hand and show him gentle touches and tell him simply “no hit” because 2 year olds brains can’t comprehend much more even when he doesn’t hit because we just had a new baby we practice gentle touches with our new baby to

Idk about the sharing thing because like I said he’s very little and probably just doesn’t understand I would practice sharing at home like give him a toy and then say can I see? And practice him giving you a toy. But when you talk to him what our doctor told us was keep it short and to the point don’t over word things so it’s easier for him to understand

Do some research as the sharing part of their brain only develops later. Did you know in the zerotothree national survey, they asked parents at what age should a child understand the concept of sharing, and 43% of respondents quoted by the age of two! The honest answer is between 3.5 and 4 years old… knowing this will help you manage your expectations.

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Have him watch word party. That’s where my 2.5yo is learning about sharing plus they are specific on one episode about how you don’t have to share all the time, not your special toys.

Just because he doesn’t have siblings doesn’t mean he can’t learn to share lol. My daughter is an only child but she understood from young she has to because I taught her. They only know what we teach them. Play with him at home and do sharing techniques or with food. Also I took her to the park or people’s houses to learn to share with kids. He is only 2 so don’t be so hard on him, just teach him

Teach him self control b4 he’s kicked out of daycare!!!

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