Hi, I need advice. I’m 41yrs old, lost a pregnancy on Christmas Eve, and I didn’t buy my 3yr old any Christmas gift. I had family members that supported me on Christmas day with all his favorite toys. Since my loss of a pregnancy, I’m so depressed and my 3yr old irritates me and my husband too. I want to be alone I asked my husband that I want to go for a weekend by myself and he doesn’t want me to go. I had seen help but these institutions give run around s. Feel lost.
I would suggest talking to a professional about these issues. He could be concerned that you could harm yourself being away for a weekend alone.
Im sorry for your loss but Dont lost your relationship with your other child and husband too…
Im very sorry for your loss. As hard as it is to lose a child, its not your 3 year olds fault. I think it would be better for you to speak to a mental health professional as I think a weekend away would probably cause you to fall deeper into your depression. Explain to your husband how you are feeling xx
Trying not to judge but why didn’t you get Christmas gifts before Christmas Eve? I shop all month for my crew. I had two miscarriages and still had to care for my children. I’d say if you feel you really need a get away then keep talking to him. Or maybe go on a day trip. Or some alone time in the shower…
sorry for your loss.
So you didn’t get anything for your child prior to the loss? I understand you lost your baby Christmas Eve but wow…
I’m sorry for you loss and I do feel for you and hope you find the help you need to get through such a tough and heartbreaking time. But I really feel for your child. They’re innocent at that age and they have no clue or idea of what’s happened.
You didn’t buy your kid Christmas, and he irritates you? How awful for your child! Maybe your husband should take the child and leave until you can get some help. You don’t get to stop being a parent because you’re sad!
Your feelings are completely valid. Talk to your doctor. And sit down & talk to your husband. You are allowed to get annoyed with your husband & kid, you’re human. Sorry for your loss.
You can’t really make someone understand how you feel, some people can only be as empathic as they know how to be. I’m someone who thrives on personal space and time. In the hardest times of my life. I’ve taken a self care vacay for a weekend. Not calling nobody. Not texting nobody. And just had some decompressing me time. There were times I just laid there and others I was hiking or taking a shower. I just needed a few days away from everything else. Saying your kid irritates you is real, it’s valid and it takes a lot for a person to recognize that they’re the one not okay in a situation. I hope you find a solution that works for you and at least learn how to live with your grief. Anyone who says you’ll get over it, is a liar. You’ll just get used to it
Ugh. Im sorry that everyone is reacting to your feelings about your other child this way. I felt this way right after having my daughter and she came home with me. It happens. Its a symptom of PPD. you need to see a doctor and get some help. This is not an easy time, and I feel for you! I’ve been there and im FINALLY getting back to it. It is not too late to get your child a gift for Christmas. They will probably be THRILLED to have a random gift to open! I really hope you get some help mama. Also. Its normal to be irritated with 3 year olds. The age of 3 is just irritating. It gets easier with time hon. I hope it all works out for you, and im here if you decide you’d like to pm me. I won’t judge you the way im seeing some of these comments are. It isnt fair.
I’m more concerned with the fact that Christmas wasn’t taken care of prior to Christmas Eve. Even if the pregnancy was an impending loss, your husband should have been on that. I get the whole terrible T thing. And yes then I feel guilty cuz I don’t want to hear mom one more time.
Ummm u should have Christmas bought long before Christmas Eve and i think you losing your pregnancy was a convient excuse. Im sorry for your loss but the child that you have here and thriving should take precedence.
I’ve gone through 2 miscarriages and 4 years of depression because of it. I feel for you. It will take time. I used painting as therapy for getting through all those feelings of not being good enough. I would suggest, if you need time, speaking to your husband about giving you time during the day of uninterrupted solace.
Reading these comments you can see the lack of education on mental health.
You cant force people to understand, but you do have to take care of yourself. If you dont like the doctors there…reach out further…NEVER give up on fixing yourself!
Talk to your Dr. about how you are feeling. Could be ppd or ppa. Therapy does wonders! More people then you think have experienced the same feelings and thoughts, just so you know your not alone.
I think you need to go check yourself into a mental health facility like now. Not tomorrow. Go to the ER and tell them all of what you typed. They will help you.
Insist that you get the time alone that you want. You wanting to be away has nothing to do not having love for your husband or child.
Take the time you need. Don’t listen to these people telling you otherwise.
Take your time soon and let your husband know or whoever will be taking care of things.
Your mental health is very important but you need to grieve in the way you need to.
Blessed Be Beautiful. Cry but be strong, you have an angel watching over you.
If you need to be admitted for your mental health, please communicate that.
You need to seek out help. Going away isn’t going to fix it. You need to go to therapy.
Sounds like u need to walk into an er and ask for help before it’s to late , don’t feel ashamed for needing to ask for help your not alone!
I’m sorry for your loss but why didn’t you buy your son Xmas presents as this happened the day before Xmas. Yes after you lose a baby everything is different and you react different I can’t remember much of the two weeks after my loss. Sounds like your hubby is worried about you and your son needs you. Get some help and try to do something you enjoy. I attacked my gardens
Wow I never post on people post. But this one just hit different with me… Pull your head out of your ass and take care of the child you have. I understand that it is hard losing a pregnancy. Take in mind I have been there myself more than once, but a 3 year old is irritating you??? Grow the fuck up!!! Maybe just focus on your child. Why didn’t you get that baby any gift?? As you said you lost this new baby on Christmas Eve. It’s very sad you lost a pregnancy but you have another child!!! Being a mom means no time to your self. When your a mom and a wife you don’t get a weekend away just because you are in your feelings…
Take your baby to your mom or a relative and get you a hotel whatever it takes to be a better mom cause you know they deserve better but you have to take care of yourself for that too happen!
You should absolutely talk to your doctor. It is possible to get severe clinical depression following a miscarriage, and it definitely sounds like you may qualify. And depending on how far along you were, you may even have postpartum. Even though the pregnancy was prematurely terminated, your hormones were still out of whack to make it possible.
I’ve been through bouts of depression for various reasons when my children were little. And I can tell you that even though I did the best I could with what I knew at the time, I wish I would have sought help as soon as I noticed the depression because my kids DID suffer from my lack of involvement.
It’s hard to lose a child, even if they didn’t get the chance to be born and you are definitely allowed to take time to grieve. But depression doesn’t always just go away when you’re left alone, and your living child needs you too.
You guys are on here saying “I don’t wanna judge BUT…” That but right there is literally you guys judging. Just mom shaming. Smh. If you have nothing nice to say don’t even start typing.
I’m so sorry for your loss! I would take time away and come back to help your husband because he is greving also and you both need each other. But you can get through this I would talk to your doctor as well to make sure your ok.
I went to my doctor and told him I was about to drive out state and never come back. He gave me a referral to outpatient therapy. I’ve been in outpatient grief counseling for 6 weeks now. I’m so happy that I have my grief support group! I also joined some groups on FB! We even send each other cards! My group is amazing . Don’t explain yourself to anyone but your therapist!
I get your loss I do. And I get you’re going through pain… But, you have to realize you have another child also. And she doesn’t even understand. And to say she irritates you. And you basically didn’t celebrate Christmas with your daughter, or wouldn’t have had your family not been there to get her gifts. That’s not fair to her at all. And trust me, I get going through something pretty hard with one child, while having another. But you can’t forget about that child too.
I completely understand where u are coming from. I lost my twin girls Dec 27th 2017 at 36 weeks due to medical neglect ever since then we don’t celebrate Christmas at all. I have a 3 year old and a 1 year old.
Your beyond blessed to have a living child here with you! My mom also lost a child years ago on christmas eve. I didn’t know a thing unti recently (I’m now 42) all I can remember is perfect Christmas’s full of love
Be blessed with what you have here and now
I’m SO sorry for your lost and also for all there terribly unsympathetic, rude and passive comments. Some kids get nothing for Christmas. You’re doing you’re best and deserve time to grieve and heal.
If you need time then take it. Your son will be more than fine with your husband. He needs a mama that’s well. Take your space, but also if you need professional help then take it too. I went through a stillbirth 7 years ago & honestly it traumatised me. I was so so angry at everyone & everything. That’s not healthy for your boy to be around so I completely understand you want to be alone rather than inflict that on those you love. Please take the time & help you need to get better for him. What you’ve been through is probably going to be one of the worst times of your life, please be kind to yourself x
I’m a little saddened that you didn’t get your living kiddo a gift before Christmas Eve.
However- you need to seek help, so you can start your healing process. Seek out pregnancy loss groups so others can share the ways they were able to start to heal.
In the meantime maybe go away for a weekend to give yourself some space to grieve privately.
It’s unfair to be upset with your 3 year old for wanting love and attention from his/her mother.
And remember- your husband lost a baby too. Not just you.
Have you ever thought about the fact that he needs time and help? He suffered a loss too. I’d suggest seeing if a family member could help and keep your 3 year old for a few days and give you both a break.
Loss around the holidays is truly hard on people and pregnancy/child loss is one that hits HARD.Forgive others for wanting to guilt trip you.Take your trip and come home to your family…Take a day or two…But when you come back sit down and search some support groups either in your area or online…Nobody knows a Mother’s grief like another mother who had a loss…
Christmas comes every year.There is always next year.
Get yourself some help so you are in a better place emotionally
A weekend away might not be the first place to start. The only people who can begin to understand how you feel are women who suffered the same loss. Check in to local support groups. They can pretty helpful in my experience. Hang in there
Losing a child is very difficult. I went away with my living children to visit family in another state to help. It’s true small things can seem huge and a change of scenery may help. Your husband may be concerned about your mental health and is worried about you being alone.
I’m confused why you didn’t get your child a gift…
My opinion , I’ve never lost a child so I don’t know how that feels but to my ability to imagine this , it is 100 percent okay that you want time alone . I know you aren’t the only one grieving this as he is too but there is nothing wrong with you wanting that . I don’t have any advice on what to say to your hubs but this should be pretty clear and understanding to him as to what you want
She asking for help not to be crapped on.I know damn well none of these girls leaving mean comments on here are perfect…You can say something in a more respectful way.Theres no need to act like an ass about it.Who knows what else shes been going through or her money situation.What happened to woman helping each other and lifting each other up.It seems like theres alot of childish crap and not any actual help…People should be able to ask for help without all the crap talking.Either be helpful or move on so another person can.It really isnt hard to be a good person.Say things in a way that isnt cruel and thats helpful…People have lost their minds thinking they are better than others.
You need to see a dr and get help for yourself.
Strange Christmas wasn’t taken care of before Christmas Eve. Anyways I totally understand. But what I’ve learned from my miracle baby is that you have to love what is there in front of you.
I think people are forgetting that there is a pandemic that has been going on for nearly a year. Nobody here knows far along you were when you lost your child and I am very sorry that happened to you. Dont worry about the presents you werent able to get. Youre allowed to be annoyed by your 3 year old because face it, kids can be annoying especially at that age. You should definitely take some time to yourself for a couple days. There is nothing wrong with that and don’t let judgy people tell you otherwise. It seems as if there are a lot of people who are fixated on the Christmas gifts… Take the time you need momma and I hope you feel better soon.
I’m sorry for your lost but do not take it out on your 3 year old. And idk why you wouldn’t have presents for your child by Christmas Eve, that just sounds weird. But it Sounds like you need help, so you should go talk to your dr
Hugs hugs hugs. May you heal with speed and be able to be the great mom I know you are. When I lost my daughter in Jan 6 during the n1h1 outbreak I went to the second hand store and bought dishes and smashed those feelings. Hugs hugs hugs. Remember when your done healing you’ll still need to be there for your family. Hugs to your husband taking control. If mine didn’t at the time I would have been done. And I also had a 2&3 year old.i pray you find a way to live love and laugh.
Maybe try hospice they have a program for loss and are very compassionate. Loss is loss. Hugs.
Don’t forget your husband is grieving too. If your daughter knew she could be too
I can’t believe that another mother came to this group for help and in returning she gets bashed and parent shamed for what… being real enough to be completely honest about what’s going on so that she may receive the best and appropriate help to change the situation?? And for the record… I didn’t buy any Christmas gifts for my kids u til Christmas Eve. We do what we have to do
Your husband is probably worried for you to be alone right now you need grief counseling please find someone to talk to
I feel like the comments need to be turned off. Hardly anyone is offering helpful advice. Just shaming this mom. So sad
Why is everyone so concerned about her not buying her kid Christmas gifts when her husband is also perfectly capable of pulling the extra slack?
Like most moms, I busted my ass this Christmas and all the others pretty much alone. It’s tough. Can’t even imagine doing it and losing a baby at the same time. Jesus.
If y’all are just going to sit here and harp on the fact that she didn’t personally buy the gifts (but her family did) just shush already. Her kid got presents. He’s fine. I’m 100% sure he had a great Christmas.
Greif causes you to get angry and irritated more easily. Along with many other unpredictable stages… Its completely understandable. I lost my fiance and have a 1year old and pregnant. I could not be a mother during the first week just about. I am so thankful that my grandma was there to help with my 1year old because there is no way could just cope. WE ARE NOT HERE TO JUDGE OTHERS. WE ARE HERE TO OFFER SUPPORT. Shame on so many of you who have no idea how a sudden alter in life events and dramatically change everything in your life. IT WILL TAKE TIME MAMA BUT IT WONT BE EASY. EVERY SINGLE DAY IS A STRUGGLE. PRAYING FOR YOU AND SEND LOVE.
I’m also concerned that you’re being irritated by your 3 yr old because you lost a baby. It’s not your 3yr old’s fault. Shit happens and life sucks sometimes. Get your shit together and be a mom.
You need help from a professional. I’ve lost three babies in a row and still managed to have time for my son and my partner, loved them and grieved at the same time. It’s hard that you’ve lost a baby, granted, but you still have one that’s there. Grief only comes from love so embrace it and get some professional help x
Was your loss recent? If so you may have a hormonal imbalance that is partially to blame. It happens so so often. Reach out to your doctor. I am not one for antidepressants but therapy does work and talking to someone who is not involved can help through your grieving process. And a doctor may be able to check for hormone issues. I am so sorry for your loss there is no greater pain.
Maybe ask a family member to take care of your 3yr old for a few days to give you a break, you need soace and some time out to grieve, im sorry for your loss.
It takes a brave person to come on a group page like this and post something along these lines. I’m so sorry for your loss. Losing a baby is definitely hard. I have been there and so have many other people. Maybe your husband doesn’t think it’s wise for you to go away for a whole weekend by yourself just yet. He could be worried about you. Your 3 year old also doesn’t understand why his mom is feeling down. Mental health is absolutely a real thing. I suggest making an appointment with your doctor and seeing how they can help you. Take some time for yourself to heal. I know the feeling of being depressed and being irritated with your kids. I have 4 (all under the age of 10) and they can drive me nuts to where I hide in a room at times and lock the door. Some days I wanna scream. Just remember that your 3 year old is still around and he needs his momma. Also don’t worry about the Christmas gifts and the fact that you didn’t purchase anything for your son but you family did. This has definitely been some year for many many families. Good luck momma! Have a happy new year and God Bless!
You need to see a doctor, honey. I had a stillbirth in 2012. My husband and I both grieved, hard. We had a 7 year old that still needed love and attention whether we felt like we could provide it or not. Please see someone. There are resources and so much help available if you just ask.
Sorry for your loss but please remember they’re only little for a little while enjoy your blessings that you have.
Sorry for your lost I know very well how you feel I’ve also experience lost but you have to be strong for the child you do have you 3 year doesn’t know what is going on or how you feel he not irritating you on purpose it just what they do at that age you husband wants to help you keep you sane for your child even if it doesn’t seem like it just remember he needs you more then anyone else cause you are his mommy
It’s depression that has you irritated. Now is the time, that you need your family. Is your husband there to share you grief?
I’m thinking you need to seek professional help instead of asking strangers on the internet.
You should tell your husband that he should look after your child whilst you go and get some much needed professional support. I have 2 kids now, stand up for your kids and your husband should know that. I understand he lost a child as well, but sorry mate right now you’re infinitely stronger than her at this time, so be a man and stand by your family.
Firstly- im so sorry abt your loss. I couldn’t imagine.
Tell your ob? You may need to get advice from them on hormone balance and could be suffering post partum mixed with what your going through with your loss.
What is this get away? Is like therapy retreat type of thing or you just needing to go alone? Being completely alone right now may not be the right thing. Maybe take some extra time alone in your home - have a bath light scented candles, pamper yourself up or just have naps alone in a dark room. Have your husband or friend or fam come help you with your 3yo while you have certain times of escape. Remember your husband and child are going thru this loss to in their own way.
I would see a mental health professional.
When I lost my son the best thing I did for myself was occupy myself as much as possible, and get the help that I needed. I went to a group with other women who miscarried. The best thing to do is talk and let it out. You have to take care of yourself in order to take care of your family as well. It doesn’t make you weak for seaking counseling either. Hope this helps xx.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I know the pain I lost my 7 week old 8 days before Christmas. It’s a loss incomparable to any other. You definitely need some help to get through this. I’m so sorry they’re giving you the run around. hopefully there’s a light at the end of the tunnel and you find a place to give you the help and support you need.
Condolences and prayers for your loss. I’ve had similar experiences and having someone who you can talk to openly and without judgement helps. You are still hormonal that coupled with grief can feel like a mountain on your shoulders and that’s okay. Step away and take a breather for yourself when you feel too overwhelmed. Take a hot bath, or allow your toddler extra screen time so you can sit and have a cup of tea/coffee. Just be aware that pushing your loved ones away can feel like a punishment to them.
for you an family
Im sorry ive gone through this. Grief isnt a disease there is no cure you just learn to live with the pain. Nothing is wrong with you you have every right to feel this pain and grief. It will get easier. Push through you are strong.
The family is all grieving… Get professional help, pay attention to it.
The memory never goes but what you have is more important.
I hope my comment doesn’t get skimmed over in the rest. First I want to say that losing a child is devastating. I pray that I never lose one of mine. But, physically, a lost pregnancy may have thrown off your hormones. Getting them back in check might help you. Most importantly what I want to say is that I lost a brother to suicide when I was 7 and my younger brother was 3. My mother went through hell, to a point where she wanted to do things to herself and my brother and I that I don’t even want to mention. It was agonizing for my brother and I as children to watch her go through that. It has affected us all our lives. I’m 37, my brother 34. My brother has suffered especially. I’ve had relationship problems, my brother is in prison. My parents marriage fell apart. Please, for yourself before anyone else find what you need to pull through this. Do it for you so your son doesn’t have to go through the pain my brother and I went through. If you need help reach out to me. My mother will talk to you.
Truthfully hes 3 i doubt hell remember this Christmas but hes only getting older so get your self and your husband some professional help before it becomes toxic. Prayers for your family
Dont forget your husband lost a child, too.
See a professional and don’t take your issues while valid out on your kid. Cause that’s what you’re kind of doing and expecting everyone else to take your place as the mother of your living child.
Maybe contact a counselor who can help through trauma. Find some things you can do on your own and with son/husband. Maybe if you can have some alone time and do things enjoyable will benefit your relationship with son and husband. They are only young once. Sounds like your husband is worried about you going away which during this time might not be the best time anyway. Im sure it will take time, but you have a good support system in your partner.
Don’t let depression take over your life. Your son is alive and he needs you.
I’m very sorry for your lose u need to be strong for yourself.
Please don’t get help alone , do it together with your husband. May God Bless You.
Go see a counselor. It will help a lot with processing your feelings and treating the depression which may need temporary medication. Also communicate with your husband about how you are both feeling. He is hurting to as he also suffered a loss. You might need a weekend away, but he has needs too so you both need to compromise so everyone can heal.
Lady i lost a beautiful baby girl that i loved dearly who was 4 months old, my 3 year old son was what got me thru losing my daughter, sounds like you dont need to be a mother
Remember is his loss too. You may need to be alone, but he may need you around. I highly suggest counseling for you both.
You need to pull yourself up by your bootstraps you are still a mother to your 3 year old. Losing a baby is one of the hardest things in the world but it doesn’t stop life, life carries on. Mourn your baby but be a mother and look after your 3 year old get professional help of you need it speak to gp you might need happy pills. Your 3 year old won’t remember not getting anything for Christmas but that being said you had time to get them something before Christmas as your loss was Xmas Eve. If you couldn’t afford to get your child a present were you in the best situation to have another baby? I know I sound harsh but mollycoddling you isn’t going to do you any good. And yes I have lost a baby but stopping everything doesn’t help you need to put one foot in front of the other a carry on, you’ll never forget your child and that okay but you have a living child you need to look after and he needs his mama. Lean on your husband as he’s lost a baby too
This poor women lost a child and you all are worried about Christmas for a 3 yr old… Give me a break the op wants advice not to be critized or to made to feel bad for grieving the loss of her child she can always get gifts later and remember not everyone could afford a Xmas anyway…yall are a bunch of jerks making this women feel bad not everyone griefs the same and should not be shamed because of it good for you you where able to get on with day to day life after your loss but not everyone can…to the op I’m sorry about your loss I know all to well how that can be as stated before you should try to seek help if you think you need it and tell your husband your not asking your telling him you taking some you time how your feeling is normal and don’t let anyone in this nasty ass group tell you or make you feel differently some people are rude and just have no respect nor empathy towards people who do things different good lucky sweetie it will get better and please in encourage you seek help it will help you see things clearer message me any time if u need someone to talk or listen<3
Thats pretty harsh still, you didnt have anything for your 3 year old prior to christmas eve??
Didn’t get your little one any Christmas gifts ? Get a grip world doesn’t revolve around you
I’ve lost a baby and it’s very hard and traumatic you just feel empty/worthless/depressed you want to be alone! A weekend sounds like a good idea I’d explain to your husband how you feel and that you need some time alone, but remember your husband as lost a baby too so maybe make some quality time with him when you come back and remember your 3 year old doesn’t understand and is just being a normal child so hopefully after your little break you’ll feel better enough to try and carry on and be a mum and wife if you still struggling (which I think you’ll will) you should speak to your doctor you mite just need some little more help, sorry for your loss and good luck to the future x
Keep praying sis you are not alone:pray:t3:
Momma it’s ok to not be ok and you are doing a great job. It is hard to keep going every day and triggers will always be there. I think a good grief and/or trauma counselor could help you walk through this process. Prolonged grief is actually not uncommon with pregnancy loss and the loss of a child. ((Hug)). . Please be kind to yourself.
Everyone grieves and processes differently. My husband and I have had two baby losses. I have been struggling the past 3 years. Some days I am good and others I stumble and fall. One thing that’s helped me is to get it off my chest and talk to my husband about how I am feeling. He’s been super supportive. We have kids and I understand the stress. Grieve and don’t let anyone rush you.
I think you’re severally depressed and you need to get professional help.
Ignore anyone telling you that you need feel differently than you do. Depression and grief do not have a guideline that they follow. What one person feels at the time of a loss is NOT the same as what another person feels. If you have never felt the way OP does, then you should feel very blessed. You need to be honest with your husband and let him know that you getting help is not an option, it’s a need, for survival. Arrange a family member to care for your 3 year old and go get whatever help you need.
Do not let the fear of what others think/say stop you from getting help.
Im afraid of how things will go if you do not seek help, love. You’re seeing the red flags and reaching out for support- that took a lot of courage. You’re on the right path. Please get help.
I think he’s scared for you. He probably doesn’t want you hurting yourself. If my spouse went through a major heartache I’d feel very nervous about leaving them alone. Depression does horrid things to the mind. Trauma does too. And it’s almost like a game without any winners. I’d definitely do therapy from a trained professional. And possibly couples therapy so he can truly understand your grief. Everyone grieves differently. Maybe he’s hurting just as bad as you are and doesn’t want to be alone.
I wish you the best.
I lost my son two weeks after he was born 4 years ago. It’s never easy but i definitely don’t let that ruin things for my daughter. I understand that it’s hard but i feel like that a little harsh it wasn’t anyone’s fault and especially not your childs… i would just ask a family member to watch your child and go for a weekend getaway locally, get a room just stay to yourself or something definitely nothing crazy during a pandemic.
You’re not in a good place, you shouldn’t be left alone. Someone who loves you needs to take you to be treated for depression.
Everyone grieves differently and if you think a weekend away will help then do it. Don’t ask, just do it. Book the hotel. Find someone to take your child if your husband works. And go.
But I also think you should speak with your doctor. I personally think prior to the trip away.
Honestly you’re 41. That’s a super high risk pregnancy. You knew the risks. You’re a mom. No you dont get to escape for a weekend. That’s ridiculous. Put on your big girl pants and appreciate the child you already have.
Just do it. Just go. I understand. I went through the same in July and still haven’t done it. Worst choice I ever made. You do you and get right before something silly happens. Big hugs.
I sincerely hope that everyone that feels the need to be harsh to this woman in her time of grief and depression are met with kindness in the face of any difficulties that might arise in your life. May you never know such callousness and disregard. May your worth as a person never be broken down into a single word to describe the whole of your existence. A woman is so much more then a mother.
Yes you lost your unborn baby and ofcourse you need to grieve BUT did the father not also lose his unborn baby? Does he not also deserve to grieve? Your son is 3 he is still a baby himself and none of this is his fault you have lost one child but you still have one don’t push him away because you are hurting. Your husband is probably scared for you incase u hurt urself or are not thinking clearly.
I personally don’t get how I can get to the day before Xmas and not have one single present in for your child It’s the same day every year, we all knew it was coming, I get u could have been skint and didn’t get paid till that day but surely you would have had atleast some small bits in ?
Stop pushing away your husband and son as they have also lost it’s not just you who has lost here! Go to the docs and get help, get counsiling/therapist. You aren’t just going to be ok one day and meds aren’t going to magically make u better neither is a vacation. Grieve is a process and it never leaves there will always be days u feel down, sad, just want to cry ect but just remember you are not alone ur husband, ur family and so many other people in the world have felt the same loss and there is plenty of support groups out there.