Hello, my boyfriends brother and brothers fiancé have our nephew forward facing at 8 months as well as wearing thick bodysuits which doesn’t follow safety guidelines as well. They also keep the straps loose so as not to “hurt him”. Can you mamas help me on how to address this with them in a way that doesn’t sound like I am parent shaming? Car seat safety isn’t a parenting choice and they definitely think it is.
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Physically show them what is wrong. Educate them on proper car seat safety.
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Just tell them and be honest. I straight told someone they are gonna be the reason the kid dies if ever in a car crash to get it through their head.
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Print out your states guidelines and hand it to them and change the seat yourself. Grow a pair.
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So, let your BOYFRIEND know how serious it is and to let him know to make sure they are following the guidelines of your state, for his nephew.
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There isn’t a single state where an 8 month old can legally be forward facing. They’re breaking the law. Inform them of that, and why it’s law in the first place.
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Pull up a few test dummy videos
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Um it’s supposed to rear facing til 18 months or longer. Cops can be called on this. They are suppose to be tight but not to right. It’s for safety.
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Are they willing to accept the information? If not… Unfortunately, you’re just wasting your time and energy 
i wish it wasn’t that way.
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I fight with my child’s father about this at least we have rear facing til after 2 yrs
Straight up tell them that if they get into a wreck, they are at fault if something happens to their child.
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They can turn him around at 1 if there’s no law where you guys live for rear facing
Show them the info…Anything after that is on them and if you continue to push it will likely get ugly🤷♀️ All you can do is ATTEMPT to educate because at the end of the day ppl are going to do what they want to do
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Don’t do it publicly like half these people do online. Which is why they get soo much backlash. Because people get embarrassed.
Maybe pull them off to the side the next time you see them and offer your advice. Send them a PRIVATE message.
Give them a number to the fire station and see if there is somebody there would could guide them in the right direction:)
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I mean u can mention it but dont get to nosy. Some ppl dont listen . And calling cps will just make u on the fuck you list , stay from me list for most ppl. Mention it like did u know and leave it be. Tell her u know there the parent and arent there to be pushy rude or judgy or change there parenting
Just tell them it’s illegal and they can get into a lot of trouble if pulled over or their baby could get hurt in an accident
First start by addressing the issue with how much you LOVE EVERYONE, but you are just concerned with your nephews safety and then gently tell them why. Show them some videos of child seat safety. I have 4 grown children. But I did not realize you are not supposed to put them in their car seats with big puffy jackets on. I didn’t realize why until my daughter showed me a video. Also at forward facing, ESPECIALLY at that young age could be VERY SERIOUS in an accident. My grandchildren were not allowed to forward face until age 3 meeting HEIGHT AND WEIGHT restrictions. It’s definitely better to address the issue BEFORE something happens and it’s too late. Then you will be kicking yourself in the ass for not saying something. Please say something, ANYTHING, to try and get them to understand how very IMPORTANT it is to follow the guidelines.
I pmed someone about them putting their daughter in an infant carrier front facing. She said she couldn’t afford a front facing seat so I found some cheap options for her that would still keep her daughter safe. She thanked me.
I mean if they don’t want to be educated then this is also illegal in most areas
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Send them the link to the crash testing, and be like, woah have you guys seen this, scary ae!, fastest way to show them the dangers, easy to ignore things on paper, very hard to ignore videos.
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Nicely bring it up, if they don’t listen, call the cops. 
They’ll thank you later when an accident happens and the child doesn’t die.
“Hey! I saw this really interesting video about car seat safety. Wanted to pass it along in case you haven’t seen it. It’s a MUST see for sure.”
Then follow up with an awesome YouTube video about car seat safety. 
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Ask them if you can give them some helpful advice on car seat safety say you’re only caring for the safety of your nephew
Their pediatrician should be asking them about how the baby is facing. You could recommend they go to a fire station and have it properly installed or You could have her message the car seat for littles group page and be able to show them pics of proper install for the child. Put the ball in her court, but have her double check with experts that she’s putting the child in safely.
Go and talk to them face to face. Power point them lol
Talk to your MIL! If she cares anything about the kid. She will handle it. It is her son that’s being irresponsible with her grandchild.
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When you see it, say something. Plain and simple. They might not have any idea. If they don’t like it, tough shit. It’s not like you’re saying something to be spiteful, you’re saying it because you care. Pull up the crash test videos of improper car seat safety so they can SEE IT for themselves.
I would send an anonymous package with the laws, safety guidelines for kids for that particular brand. Honestly if they are that unsafe in the car, I can only imagine how they are at home. Seriously, you need to really evaluate if the baby’s safety in their car and home is not worth ruffling feathers. If this baby dies in an accident or because of unsafe practices at home, because you didn’t want to upset them directly or anonymously via package, you will regret it.
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Have a grandparent talk to them
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You could send them the proper info. I do believe it’s also illegal to do that.
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I mean its child endangerment. I dont care who it is I’m gonna tell you straight forward what you’re doing wrong because when it comes to carseat safety it isnt an opinion, its facts, and they need to get that sh- straight because they’re risking the safety of that damn child.
Does your local police department run where they install car seats for free in your area .that.might help
Express your concern for baby’s safety and politely inform them of the proper way to exercise car seat safety. Also worth looking up your local car seat laws. They may be breaking the law by having baby forward facing that young.
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Send them a safety video.
No need to be polite when it comes to the safety of children. Be blunt, pull up some statistics to give them, show them pictures and videos.
I follow a car seat safety technician here on Facebook- In The Know Car Seat Pro. You could always do the same and share posts with relevant info on your feed.
I found the lady because she commented on a picture comment on a Graco ad. Someone posted a picture showing off their child in a Graco seat. The child was improperly buckled in and the technician commented saying as much. The parent was offended, but I learned something new about car seat safety and told her as much, then followed her. I’ve learned several things I wasn’t aware of since then. So, yes, people can be offended but maybe sharing a post in your feed could subtly educate. The other way is to say, “did you know you should only be able to get 2 fingers between baby and the straps?” or “did you know you shouldn’t be able to pinch the straps? I didn’t until I saw a post from a car seat technician. I changed mine right away!”
People can be offended, but it’s on them if they disregard your advice and something happens. At least you know you did what you could 🤷
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Just tell them ! Better to be safe than sorry !!!
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Go for a ride with her and ask her to stop at the fire station …on the premise you want to pick up a tshirt. Mention that they give free safety inspections on installation of car seats and it would not hurt to get a cute fireman to give you some attention. The firemen/EMT’s are the ones who clean up the messes from accidents and they will set her straight. They actually won’t let you leave if they see a child in an improperly installed car seat.
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Honestly, call the pediatrician that the baby goes to. The pediatrician can address it with them and educate them.
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To be honest it’s their kid they’re going to do whatever they want with their kids no matter what you say.
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Another option is you could just be an anonymous dick and call the cops next time you know they leave with the baby and give them the cars plate number and tell them the baby is 8 months and forward facing with loose straps and you’re worried about the babies safety 
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It is illegal in all 50 U.S States to forward face a child before their 1st birthday.
Here here’s a comment everyone will like just call CPS on them bet total dick to the person
I hope you’re able to help educate her and help her correct it before it’s to late and God forbid something happens. If need be I would ask her to go by the fire department or the police station. They will educate her.
tbh what i would do if i were you is pretend you JUST learned new shit. so they don’t feel stupid for being behind and ultimately get defensive and resistant to education. be like “hey did you know kids aren’t supposed to wear coats in their car seat? i just learned that the other day and it’s crazy cause i always remember being bundled up”. then let the conversation flow. tell a horror story or two. make it a conversation, not a lecture.
It’s actually illegal to front face before one! Some states it’s illegal before 2.
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The message would come across more effectively with actual videos.
This one is on rear vs front facing.
This is on winter/bulky clothing…
Your boyfriend’s brothers kid is not your nephew. You could always buckle it properly and show them how it’s supposed to be. Thick bodysuits aren’t going to be an issue if they have it buckled properly and don’t have a big bulky coat on under the straps. You could also point out that you always worry that they would be charged with child endangerment if they were to get pulled over as legally baby has to rear face until over a year old. That might get them to switch it for awhile longer.
Is it safe no.Do I agree with it no.I have children also before anyone says,anything.Mind your own business.It does not matter what you say or a cop says or cps they will do what they want when no one is around.
Tell them straight up say it’s highly dangerous and illegal talk to your partner tell him to say something. You don’t mess around when it comes to car seats and children. Be the “bad guy” better then a guilty conscience god forbid something happens. If they want to see they baby while in the front seat they can buy a mirror attachment to see the reflection threw their rear view.
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Find something about car seats and then tag them in it. Say, “have you seen this, ______?”
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Maybe mention watching a video of a car seat crash test and see how if the child isn’t properly strapped in or is wearing big bulky clothes what could happen if they were in a wreck. It only takes one time.
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This bothers me so much,u r not alone and I see it so much its crazy…I always find myself giving people advice in this situation also showing them facts but people r careless and dont listen so good luck…my daughter just turned 2 and is still rear facing
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My sister was like this I just told her straight, child safety is more important
Just tell them. Then leave it be.
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Tell then they should go to the fire station and make sure their seat is installed properly. They do those things and maybe they will explain the rest as well. My youngest grandson is 4, tells his mom its to tight, I fight with it but I know he is safe and it reminds me to take off his coat.
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It’s technically child endangerment at that point. If they won’t listen to you, find someone else they’ll take seriously. I would just tell them straight up & show evidence as to why it’s not safe (and in a lot of places, not even legal)
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It’s sad hospitals aren’t showing these things before they leave with the baby. I couldn’t leave till I watched videos and the car seat one was included… I’d give them information on it.
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That’s a touchy situation but I’ve dropped hints by posting things on Facebook when a friend was mis-using a car seat also. I’ve started the conversation like I didn’t know this but it’s new that kids are supposed to rear face until 40 pounds or as long as possible because their spine isn’t developed yet. Something along that line so not to shame them sometimes people just don’t know. So scary 
hope you can get through to them that’s definitely not safe
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Just tell them straight, if they get into an accident that baby can have serious injuries!! Or show them videos of car seat safety !!
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Unfortunately, I don’t think you can do much about it; other than bring up your concerns. People are going to parent how they want to. Unfortunately, it’s not always good for the child. I hope you can convince them that what they’re doing is not the least bit safe.
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Just be totally honest “hey, you know I love you and I love my nephew so much, I just don’t want him to ever get hurt. If there was ever an accident, this isn’t safe because A,B, C, D. Please let me show you how to do it correctly, because I didn’t know at first either and I was so grateful when someone told me. We only want the best for our babies. And I promise he won’t get hurt when he’s secure .” There are also some great Tiktoks on car seat safety, which are great visuals and only a minute long . Good luck !
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Tell them you just watched a video about car seats, and what you learned. You could also buy them one of those car seat coats and tell them you learned about injuries from kids wearing car seat buckles over coats and etc, and you thought about your nephew
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Is he already in the second your car seat, if so kind of early, if not the first year cannot be facing forwards it can only go one way they’re doing it wrong you can’t be forward till a year old.
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I’d start with the fact that I believe in all states it’s illegal to be FF before 1yr so I’d start with that & not wanting them to get a tickets etc
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How big and tall are they my daughter is very big and reached weight and height requirements at 9 months she’s 99percentile in height for her age group
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Let them know that if they were to get into a car accident, that his head would force forward so hard that it could break his neck!!! & having him loose that he can slip right out & fly out the windshield. Be super blunt with them & let them know the true reality of what can happen!
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I have no filter. So good freaking chance id just say hey your baby is to small for that and that jacket is not safe. If that didnt work id call the cops to do a wellness check when they leave with the baby. Children’s safty comes 1st.
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State police officers in your area have officers who are certified in car seat safety have them take the kid and the car seat there and have them educated by the officers
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I would just straight up tell them. They may not know and so it would be good for them to know the guidelines. I dont like to sugar coat things I would be the same way if it were my family I always speak on my child’s safety. I don’t think anyone should be offended it’s just proper care.
That’s one of those things u just have to be blunt about!! I had a friend who didn’t buckle her new born in properly ever and then turned into a toddler and I refused to allow it to happen around me if they rode in my car or I rode with them all it takes is one quick hit of the breaks!! No one ever plans an accident to happen
It’s not parent shaming…they’re endangering their child.
My kids are older so forgive me…
I live in Wisconsin, how can u put your baby in a seat with no coat on? No way i could do that, its-50 below sometimes here
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Imho tell them flat out. Better to have hurt feelings than a injured or dead child. Maybe they dont realize they are doing it wrong.
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Tell it to them straight, do pull your punches when telling the truth. Tell them they are putting their child in danger by not having the straps tight, that the straps wont hurt their child by being tight and that it protects the child. Trying to he kind will be treated more like parent shaming then not. Show them candid videos of what happens to children in the position their child is in
How about finding a post/reccomendation for car seat safety and sharing it on Facebook if you are friends with him or get another mutual friend to?
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Maybe find a video on YouTube and send it to them. Or tell your boyfriend to have a word. If it was me I would just tell them what I know and if they want to argue about it then ok I did my part. X
Do u have them on fb? Share the hell outta posts of how to buckle them in!!! And what could happen if they arent.!!!
Go with them to a fire station or highway patrol they install and answer questions
Show them a video of crash test dummies being thrown from a car seat !! Don’t be backward in coming forward, they need to know this, it could save their child’s lives!!
Take them to the local
Fire department to get shown and schooled the safety of whys
I would share a safety article and say oh this made me think of you all and I had to share Omgosh I feel so bad for this family and I pray it never happens to you!
Research the safety video for it. The video will show them exactly why it’s important
Ems stations/fire /police do carseat clinics and offer to install , ect… maybe look into next one , and post it to all your Facebook * friends and family… with saftey guidelines posted as well for them to see … agree with Brandy Bird !
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It’s not parent shaming is caring about the life of your nephew. I’d speak up and tell them how it is!! I’m sorry but I dont sugar coat anything.
I had to have my daughter turned forward facing at a year old because she was so tall and her feet were squished against the back of the seat… If the child exceeds the weight and the length then turning them forward facing isn’t that big of a deal
Go to a fire station and get help they will do it for you
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Hmmm as another reply said you can only suggest after that it’s up to them
Delete this post and add them to this page?
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Sadly they probably know the rules but choose to do their own thing.
Just show them YouTube videos
We weren’t sure ours was right, so we went to a fire station and they came out and adjusted it…
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I would flat out be honest. I am a “car seat nazi” I don’t care about your feelings. I care about that baby. I used to work a drive through and I saw New born babies in parents laps. I would flat out call the cops. Sorry not sorry. My son is 6 but autistic and he is still in a 5 point Harness. I would be that bitch that would flat out tell them if they wreck their child will most likely fly out of that thing and hit the windshield. I’d rather be a bitch then see a child lose their lives because their parents are uneducated in car seat safety.
If you’re that worried about offending them and they’re on your fb page find a couple videos or posts about the issues and post them on your fb page with a comment like " Hey I didn’t realize this! Did you?" Then tag them!
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I know that in my area they’re are
1st day programs and carseat programs call and tell them that your inlaws are not using your carseat properly and since your no expert you would like for some one to show them how to use it a lot of times they have them watch a video and put the baby in the carseat then the carseat in the car they sign a paper and get a gift monthly its neat ive done it will all of my kids for the gifts and knowledge my kids are 7, 5, and 8 months and things are always changing !
You can go to your local police/fire department, usually someone more then happy to help. Good luck.
Call a certified car seat tech. Anyone of us would be happy to help…
Tag them in a car seat safety video
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Maybe get some advice from a certified car seat tech.
SEATS For Kids Discussion Community (Canada)
Car Seats for the Littles (USA)
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