How can I save my relationship?

Me and my bf have been dating for I'ma say 3 years. Known each other 4. We had a little brake between that time. Due to him moving back out on the reservation. (He is Navajo). Well we just had a baby together. But have children from previous relationships. ( I have a 5 yr. He has a 4 yr). Well when he came to live out with me just about two years ago. He was really close to me. Loving me. ECT. Well just before I became pregnant. Things changed. And things have been like this since our baby was born. Idk what to Dom I brake down each time. I ask him like once in a while if he loves me. Of course he tells me yes. But he doesn't show it. And I just want him to be how he used to be with me. I want to talk with him about our relationship. But I just don't know how.
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How can I save my relationship? - Mamas Uncut

Why people have to have kids, not to good!

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How can I save my relationship? - Mamas Uncut

I know that some women can’t stand their husbands throughout pregnancy many times after giving birth also & I know it happens to the dads also. Maybe that’s what’s happening to your bf ??

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Maybe it’s taking him some time to get used to the fact y’all just had a baby. And things are a little tense too after having a new baby. All your focus is on that baby nothing else

Have you communicated this with him? You need to communicate instead of asking a bunch of strangers. If you have any questions or concerns - confront him - you won’t have a straight answer from any of us.

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Open your mouth and just talk to him. If you can’t talk to your man the one who is supposed to love you and support you in every way, then ask yourself why are you with him?! :unamused:

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Could you clarify what you’re breaking down about? Is he just ignoring you or is he being mean? Is he an angry man, or is does he seem depressed?

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so you don’t know how to talk to a guy u been dating for years, but you can talk to hundreds of ppl you don’t? yeah, that makes sense to me.

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How can I save my relationship? - Mamas Uncut

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How can I save my relationship? - Mamas Uncut

Couples counseling. If the relationship is important to him he will be active in it and want to work on things. If it’s not he won’t care what the councler says and brush everything she says off. If he cares enough to go then you’ve got something to work with

Having a baby is a big adjustment for both mom and dad. Post partum emotions can be especially tough for women, and some men don’t know/recognize that.

Try to cut one another some slack. Make sure to communicate fairly. Seek counselling, if need be.

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Anyone who has ever been in a long term relationship or married for years will tell you that things change. Sometimes it’s a subtle change, sometimes it’s bigger. People get comfortable in their relationships. It doesn’t mean there is any love lost. The best advice that I can give you, is to communicate with him. Sit down and have a conversation. You may need to have multiple conversations through your relationship. He isn’t a mind reader, so you need to communicate with him about how you feel. If you can get on the same page, then great. If not, maybe seek professional help. Kids, work, home life, extra curricular activities… it all affects people differently. Three kids alone is exhausting. That exhaustion takes a toll on dads/boyfriends/husbands the same as it does us.

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Being a Native American whos Pueblo, Chickasaw i can speak from experience, So in most Native American cultures the males don’t show much affection. Its the mothers who are the loving ones by nature the fathers usually work and maintain bills. Maybe he doesn’t want to get to involved with new baby because he feels like he’s neglecting his own child from previous relationship. To me it seems like the pressure of having multiple kids is getting to him. Maybe have a talk with him ask him how he feels, why he hasn’t been showing affection lately. Could be stress or something he just needed to vent about.

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Relationships take work. Like anything worth having you have to work at it, every single day. Just because you are in a comfortable spot doesn’t mean your partner is.

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Marriage counseling and reading about love languages. He may show liove in different ways. Keep talking and maybe you both get checked for PPD. Don’t bring any more children into the mix as in addition to joy, they add more stress.

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Just talk to him. If you can’t talk to him about y’alls problems, maybe you shouldn’t be together

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I have indian in me almost half and i can tell you this i was allways told because i dont show emotions or love affect type of person iam not a person that will lie in bed and craddle a person i do have love feeling i just dont show it i was allways told that my indian blood they have feeling but dont show it

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You can’t change him… I would do the same to him cuz a person really doesn’t know what they have until they lose you , it might be hard but you get what you give and according to you he’s not giving anything so don’t give him anything and he might say hey what’s going on …

I dont know why women want to have kids with a guy when not married and he hasnt made a commitment. You can try to make it work or break it off. Just dont try to have another kid to try to fix it. Good Lord. Kids bring more stress and issues and definitely dont make a guy stay.

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Why do people say, marriage/ Relationship takes hard WORK? it’s hard to make a marriage/ relationship when its one-sided. :broken_heart:

Pay attention to what he does do, because there will be little things that show he loves you.
My late husband would have dinner ready when I walked in the door after a long day at work. Or he would warm my side of the bed up in winter because I felt the cold so much.

Ummm well just talk to him and open your heart to him… that’s all you have to do, it’s no big deal🤷‍♀️

Counseling. Just bring it up regardless of how u feel about it. a new baby puts a big strain on a relationship. Maybe he’s just stressed and is worried. Although neither are new parents on ur own ur new parents together. Its been awhile since both of u have had a newborn. So it might take some time 2 get into a good routine again 2 get back 2 the basics of ur relationship.

Dear as you sound like you don’t know so I will tell you and you can decide. When in a relationship for a long period which you guys have after awhile the honeymoon is over. Maybe you are overreacting as it is never the same as when you first started dating. But if you love him and he says he loves you why don’t you believe him. Do you suspect he is having an affair with someone else if so just come out an ask him. If he is being abusive just run and don’t look back. I don’t know why people double guess their relationships. I have been married 45 years this year and yes we have arguments and there were times I could have turned my back and walked away but I didn’t because I have loved him all these years and I have never felt he was disloyal to me. But yes there are times even for him that he probably wanted to strangle me lol but he didn’t. You have to decide is the relationship worth saving and noone else can tell you how you and him feel. Trust you heart and move on (stay or leave).

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Has he taken you out to the Reservation, have you spent time with his family? Diné men are not overly affectionate men. Neither are our women. That concept lies within the US Society. We are however, affectionate toward our children. We aren’t really big on words of love or cuddling all the time…especially PDA in front of others. Diné custom of our people in showing our love is by providing and fulfilling our roles in our homes. If he is working and providing for his family…that’s him being loving, fulfilling his responsibility as a parent, and a father. When you date Indigenous people, remember their cultural upbringing is different than that in a US Society, customs are different… sit down and talk about your feelings. But if he truly loves you, he brings home to the Reservation, to spend time with his family. We don’t really invite or bring just anyone onto our lands. We are very guarded people when it comes to the safety of our people. Bringing people home is only reserved for those we hold in high regards of love and trust.

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Dads go through post partum depression also. Maybe it’s that? But definitely talk to him

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Ask him how he is and if he’s okay. Maybe he’s depressed?

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I would suggest professional help at this point. a couples therapist. There is definitely something going on with him

Need to listen to Dr Dobson. Quit chasing him and acting so needy. Tell him if he wants to stay because he loves you fine otherwise he needs to get out now! You need to show him you have self respect!

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First of all learn how to spell. You would be doing yourself and your children a huge favor if you were educated and didnt rely on a man.

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Beginning is honeymoon faze. Real life isn’t the movies. Cant expect things to be the beginning forever ot like movies… That’s a fantasy for one thing. People change and feelings can change. Best bet is to put phone down and actually talk to person you’re in a relationship with and have a grown up conversation. And you all both listen and figure out YOUR relationship together.

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You just had a big change in your relationship keep working, communicate, and give it some time. Just be honest and whatever happens you’re gonna be ok

I’d personally sit him down and let him know what your needs are and ask what his are. Then ask why things have changed.

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After 4 years together, it’s time to pull it together or be done. What is the purpose of this relationship? To get married eventually? Cause it’s already been 4 years. I see so many women wasting too much time on relationships that are going no where. He’s supposed to be your best friend… partner… lover… to enjoy life with. If your not getting all that and more from your relationship then it’s time to find someone that can give you that.

Honestly look at the last baby momma he might just be making babys to make them. The reality is some men just recent the mother of their child for having it or even just getting pregnant. Did you guys even want it or was it a oopssie thing!! And u couldn’t back out. I say register the baby get the ball rolling cuss i honestly dnt think he wanted to have another kid. He wont change and he didn’t change he is just showing you the real him!! So get ready to leave him or stay in a loveless marriage you chose!!!

Are you the same as you were. Still get ready and look nice and still have a lot of sex or the same as the beginning? If you can answer this yes, you’re fine to feel that way but if not he night feel the exact same qay

First congrats on the baby, strongly suggest to get the baby registered the tribe (should you break up or something, be step ahead).

Give him space, he might need time to acclimate to his new responsibilities and having to share you.

If he doesn’t change have a painful but needed talk or few talk.

You should be open with him and when he says yes then say well this is why I asked and how I feel maybe he doesn’t realize he’s hurting you

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Rhonda Copeland you laughed at her and then tried to humiliate her. Why are you here? Females like you are what’s wrong with society. We should be building eachother up not tearing eachother down. You’re a sad excuse for a woman

Set him down tell him important that you’re on the same page.Do
you Love me or not what about the future.

He could have baby Blues men get them to them too

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In your heart, you know the truth to your qiestion

Love is more than being physical or saying I love you. Love is making sure a roof is over your head, electricity to keep warm, food on the table, diapers and wipes, help with the kids. If he is present and helping that is love. Because trust me, if he isn’t doing all of that he doesn’t love you or the kids.

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Unfortunately sometimes relationships don’t work out even if you really want them to. Maybe there’s someone new out there for you or who knows.