What would a person do to Support your husbands side of the family when you think you his Mothers is getting Alzheimers. Ive been noticing it for 2 or 3 years now. They say first signs are when they repeat themselves and she is doing a lot of that. I thought about saying something to my sister n law about it. We are both married to her children, her sons…
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Unfortunately Alzheimer’s does get worse. You all have to be on the same page and work out a schedule if she lives alone. My husbands grandma is going thru this. My mil took on a a lot her self and had to hire someone 6 days a week to help out
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Try to get your mother in law to have a thorough checkup including thyroid, brain scans, carotid arteries. There are many medical conditions that can cause memory problems besides Alzheimer’s. Rule out other possible causes than have a psychiatrist do a mental exam.
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I would wait it out until it’s mentioned to you. That could be a sticky situation if the family is in denial.
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Have a family meeting
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Alzheimer’s can not be accurately diagnosed until death. Prior to that, it’s suspected. However, it gets worse as the disease progresses as it shuts down different parts of the brain. I wouldn’t assume it was Alzheimer’s without further testing to rule out everything else first.
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You should talk to your husband first it’s his mom.
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My mother was doing that. She knew it and would say that she would forget who she told what, so she would just tell the same story again. We all just listened. The trick is to catch when they start doing unsafe things like leaving food on stove burners cooking and forgetting it for hours at a time. Forgetting to turn off stove or oven heat. Leaving food out to thaw and forgetting to cook it for a couple of weeks. Not throwing out leftovers or freezer burnt food. Not because you didn’t want to waste it, but because you forgot it was there. That sort of thing. That’s what always worried me about my mother.
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Is the other daughter in law close enough to mil to notice changes? I think it would be helpful to get the 4 of you together to talk about Moms symptoms, then talk to mom. Make decisions together as a family and go forward together. I pray with all my heart that you are wrong. God bless.
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It gets worse so much worse 
going through it too with a parent. Early intervention I believe helps, alongside things like increased nutrition for brain health, memory testing, engaging activities, if they’re on any medications long term that could affect the brain/memory. I already have short term memory loss most my life, so I’m starting supplements and trying to enhance my brain health. It sucks Plain and simple. Check into all the resources and help you can now. See what her insurance will do. Etc. It’s called dementia usually, it will be 10+ years depending on how healthy they are. Just breathe and do the best you can. 
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We’re going thru dementia with alzheimer with my grandmother my boyfriend has been very supportive from us having to quickly take control , making very hard decisions , too renting a uhaul and moving my grandmother’s belongings out of her home she was fine one moment next she called my mom saying she was being admitted to the hospital mind u we live 5 hrs away from grandma we quickly had to make choices once the Dr confirmed she had dementia with alzheimers … just take deep breathes try to be supportive as possible if he says anything wrong don’t take it as offense it’s really tough
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Why not talk to your husband about it
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If that’s the first sign of Alzheimer’s then I guess I’ve had Alzheimer’s for years I have been repeating myself for years repeating myself for years repeating myself for years
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Family meeting to set up a plan and what her wishes are which is important like wen the time is right for her to go into a home or if she wants a carea looking after her at home it is important to have a plan
Have a conversation with your husband , then she should get evaluated
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You should talk to your husband so you can decide how to tell his brother and his brother’s wife. Sometimes the person themselves don’t even realize they have it. Go to her next doctor appointment with her if she will allow it, if not call her doctor and tell them what you suspect so they can check it out. They can’t give you any information but you can call them and say hey I realize you can’t give me any information but this is something you need to know. Good luck to you guys that sure is a rotten one to have
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She needs a neurologist, neurological evaluation, appointment. Dr will likely prescribe medication.
It only gets worse. Just be by his side and help as much as possible. Even if she repeats herself, just keep the conversations going. Do not confront her about it because then she will probably get depressed.
3/4 of my grandparents had it (1 is still alive… the other one who didn’t have it died younger)…
My dad repeats himself all the time.
It’s the worst disease ever… it’s so painful to watch… I’ve been there too many times and it’s a huge fear of mine…
Seek help, support groups, learn as much as you can now… it will hit you like bricks.
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There’s lots of things that could cause this, and a ton more questions that I would have to ask. Alzheimer’s gets worse as they get older but there are LOTS of other things that could effect someone’s cognition, from dehydration to enzymes being off. But until the family sees it, you will be in an uphill battle with A LOT of fights. I work with the elderly daily, and was the caregiver for my own grandmother as she went through the stages of Alzheimer’s. It’s HARD to watch a loved on go through that, but there are many other things that can lead to Alzheimer’s/dementia/delirium symptoms. Get a full blood and electrolyte panel done, check the thyroid, hydration, enzymes, oxygen levels…literally everything. Low oxygen levels can cause dementia type symptoms if it stays low enough long enough. Iron deficiency can do the same thing.
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Get her to go see a neurologist and get her started on a need like aricept it will slow the progression and help greatly
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Just talk to your husband tell him your concerns and observations.
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You should call a family meeting and discuss it with both brothers and sister in law and go from there
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Talk to your husband first. Families all handle this differently. Some will face it; some will stay in denial.
Opinion: If it were me, I would speak directly with my husband and let him know of what I am noticing. Ask him if he’ll be up to speaking with his brother and sister in law to see if they’ve noticed the same…. Then go from there.
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You need to discuss this with her family and let them decide the best course of action
Perhaps encourage them to have her accessed by her gp and a neurologist
I been doing HHC with Dementia/ Alzheimer’s for over 30 years. We all have a form of Dementia, there are different stages. Alzheimer’s is deterioration of the brain. There are 7 stages to the disease. Fortunately, we have had some major break through in the disease. First you need to talk with your husband and clue him in on the things you have seen. Second, you all need to address your concerns with MIL. Assure her that you all are only concerned for her well being. Slowly approach these concerns. Elder people are very touchy about aging. Have one of the sons go with her to the Dr’s, and tell the Dr your concerns as a family. There are tests and memory tests that need to be done. As things settle down with appointments and proper diagnosis is done and made. Then is the time to talk about the long haul, what are her wishes, where WILLS, and BANKING, TRUSTS, ESTATES are at, and who is Beneficiary of things. These are very important things that also need to be addressed. Otherwise everything will be wrapped up in probate court, and if MIL goes to a Nursing home, and her health insurance doesn’t cover 100% of her stay, that facility can put a line on her Estate and sell her assets to pay her balances. THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT INFORMATION that your family needs to know! I have seen it time and time again happen in all aspects.
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I repeat my self all the time I’m 40 and I don’t have Alzheimer’s I just like to repeat my self sometimes my mom does same thing maybe it’s just a habit of doing it
My mother in law just passed from Dementia…please feel free to reach out to me if you would like
Bring. It. Up. Casually. &. With. Compassion. Cause. I’m. Your. Have. That. Persons. Best. Interests. At. Heart. God. Bless. All. Involved
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Just be there for him and help him with his mother when needed. Alzheimer’s and dementia and cancer are the worst ways to end life honestly so just be there. Make sure to have pictures of everyone cause she won’t remember everyone when she gets in certain stages and it’s devastating. Also right now is best time to write down anything important like her stories from her life. Etc etc. please please please do not get mad at her when she gets in later stages cause she will have bursts of anger and confusion she’ll have difficulty with self care, she may make things up she may forget things etc. also do not let her wander alone whatsoever either cause when she gets in the later stages she’ll forget where she’s at etc.
It’s beyond heartbreaking seeing your loved one going thru Alzheimer’s
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Don’t jump to conclusions. But if she’s getting more forgetful, loosing track of things much more easily casually bring that up to your husband. Jumping right to Alzheimer’s will derail any conversation. If your husband is seeing the same thing have him look into her getting a physical. She’ll need an annual physical for Medicare anyway. BUT even IF she has a diagnosis of dementia, there is nothing a doctor or nurse will tell you, or that you can do, unless you are POA and they have that paperwork in writing.
If she does have a diagnosis of dementia and your husband is worried about her being alone, assisted living is a good option. It’s not a nursing home. She would have her own private space but still have help available 24/7, someone to cook, clean, transportation and socialization.
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Absolutely you should mention it. There of course is no cure but the sooner she gets on medication to hopefully help slow it down the better. A trip to the PCP for a referral to a neurologist sure wouldn’t hurt so maybe you and your husband and the brother and his wife should sit down together to compare notes and join forces to try to help her as much and as soon as possible. Good luck….it is such a devastating and quality of life robbing disease. 
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My mom has dementia. I don’t know what led them to this diagnoses but I do know she doesn’t remember me anymore. She thinks she’s pregnant with me any time I visit her. The state did it all behind my back trying to say they couldn’t find me. Like I wasn’t hiding. I guess one day she ran down the block and was unconsolable. I was contacted to get my brother who was still a minor at the time but when it came to anything else inwas told they couldn’t find me. 
Try get her do take shakes 3 times a day of all green stuff like kale ect look on youtube it helps there brains
She needs a neuro dr. Alot of brain conditions present similar. She needs a headscan, could be a tumor. Brain patients are very odd i am brain patient too. Try not to be shocked about the strange behaviour, because she will do/say shocking things. She might think shes 10 yrs old picking flowers sometimes just agree with her whatever she makes up in her head is just her now. Most important thing is for her to stay in good spirits in her condition. I have many diff brain conditions in my fam i watched my gma live with alzheimers for 8 yrs. If you have kids explain to them that she may not recognize them once in a while its her brain failing her not that she doesnt remember. You have to remind brain patients to eat/go to bathroom/etc…
I would approach it with a question to hubby “have you noticed that mom is repeating herself more lately?” Show concern and encourage him to take her to the doctor. I wouldn’t bring up a diagnosis, it could be her vitamins and minerals are abnormal.
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We’ve recently gone through this with my mom… some of it was medical issues we were unaware of… including extremely low blood pressure among other things… talk to your husband and keep track of your observations. My mom had a very simple appointment to assess her and although there are some signs things are changing with her after dealing with the medical things that could be dealt with… there were some suggestions on how to cope with and slow down some of the issues that. Ant be “fixed”
Check out Teepa Snow. She is a guru of all things Dementia related, including ways to approach topics with your family. She has several YouTube videos and advocates for families. I wish you the best.
My mom started doing that, having the same conversation over and over again. It took me almost a year to get her to go to the neurologist and then get a CT scan (partly the pandemic made seeing the doctor difficult). Also, she didn’t want to see the doctor. I think she felt it would be more real with a diagnosis. It turned out she had a silent stroke, which caused her dementia. Alzheimer’s is a type of dementia. Not all dementia is Alzheimer’s.
Find out a name of a good neurologist. Then suggest that your MIL go see the doctor. All four of you may need to insist and take her to the appointment. Go into the room with her to see the doctor. My mom couldn’t remember what the doctor said or what she told us didn’t make sense. The friend who drove her had to be put on all the HIPPA paperwork, along with me.
It’s a very difficult situation. Good luck!
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That is such a hard subject and spot to be in… my husband is extremely close with his mom she has always been his been his rock and I love her as much as my mom so I don’t think I would ever be able to tell my husband something that hard knowing that would kill him. I agree be there for him he’s gonna need as much love and support from his wife. I am truly sorry that you’ve got to go through all that I pray for you and you’re family!
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My roommate was showing signs of alzheimer. I said something to his daughter and she got all defensive. He passed 3 yrs ago of alzheimers. He was almost 90. I am 80 now and I have concerns about myself. I will ask at my next wellness checkup to be tested. The first thing I noticed about my roommate was that he wasn’t as outgoing as usual. He stayed with me as long as I could care for him. I have my own health problems that prevented me from being his caretaker.
Get everyone together and have your mother in law decide now how she wants to progress if she has any form of dementia while she is lucid. Then have her evaluated by her doctors and a psychiatrist or geriatrician. Find out if there are supplements, medications, or activities that can keep dementia at bay. See if you can enroll her in classes to keep her brain and body strong.
Have regular and medical power of attorney documents drawn up and decide who should be listed on each document. Does she have a will? A living will? A DNR form? When would she want these documents to go into effect? Is she married? Discuss her wishes while she still has most of her faculties intact. What does she want to have happen when she dies? Make these decisions now so there’s no confusion, arguments or rancor later if/when she can’t think clearly.
Can she continue to age in place in her home as it is? If she wants to stay there, will she need modifications to doorways, bathrooms, or stairs? Would she feel isolated stuck at home with a home health aide? Would one of you want to move in with her? What do her finances look like? You may want to consult with financial planners and retirement specialists to see what she can afford.
How would you and your siblings divide up the work of caring for your mom once she can no longer manage by herself? Who will be in charge of contracting and supervising in-home nursing care, doing her finances/paying her bills/monitoring her investments and other accounts? Who will do her taxes or arrange to have them done? Who will take her to doctor appointments, hair appointments, nail salons, entertainment or visits with friends and family at heir place or hers? Who will coordinate getting groceries, ordering meals or getting Meals on Wheels? What kind of schedule can you set up for visiting on a regular basis? Spread out the work as evenly as you can—it’s a huge job and no one should have to shoulder the whole burden.
Tour senior independent, assisted and nursing care facilities, especially those with memory care units. Pick possibilities and ask about waiting lists to get in. If you want to secure a spot in the next 5 years, you may have to get on waiting lists now. You can always refuse or postpone if there’s an opening sooner than you need, or if keeping her at home is working out.
At what point do you take away her car keys and driver’s license?
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I repeat things myself. Lol. Just talk to your husband about it.
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I would speak to your husband 1st this is a very hard subject and just try and get him to help encourage her to get checked it may be something else causing her confusion but earlier its found the better for the person
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It is very important to show your support for sure.I would say something.I noticed my dads atleast a year before he ever really got it bad.He did same thing he would ask me something and a minute later forget he had asked.My dad passed two years ago.He lived with it for a little over a year probably full force.I’m glad he is no longer suffering with this cruel disease but miss him everyday.
There is no better person to approach the subject than a loving spouse. Often, loved ones are in denial when things like this happen. They justify and make excuses.
It’s ok to gently bring it up and if he doesn’t want to hear it, or dismisses it, let it go for now. The seed will be planted and he will be more aware of the signs going forward.
Also, when and IF there is a diagnosis, dont say “I told you so” or “you should’ve listened to me sooner” etc. Just be gentle and supportive.
Good luck.
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