how would you answer your child when they ask about scars and other marks on your body? I was asked the other day about some of my scars and I didn’t know how to answer him (boy, 9)
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How can I talk to my son about the scars on my body?
Honesty! Be honest about the scars, abuse or surgical, but whatever they come from is the past, good or bad. At his age he should be understanding to know.
Depends on what kind of scars they are? We need more detail
Are they SH scars? That would seem to make the most amount of sense here for not knowing what to say, if talking lightly about mental health and what you did to stop or how you learned to cope “ this is why we always have to talk to mommy about our feelings ok? Because you’re never alone and I’ll always listen to you”.
Or if they’re regular scars “ man one time I jumped from the roof and landed on the tree branch, that’s why I say you can’t do those things”
Be completely honest. My 9 year old has seen my self-harm scars from when I was 14-22… luckily my skin heals exceptionally well and they’re not easy to see but he knows what they are, why they’re there and that if he’s ever feeling anything like I was feeling to come to me for help because I will understand and not judge him. He’s also seen my surgery scars and scars from me being an accident prone kid. They understand so much more than we give them credit for.
Our bodies change as we get older. Explain it
Are we talking about a mature 9 year old? If so be honest without going into full deal. That some people struggle sometimes and they think there is only one way out. And the people can’t see at the time that it isn’t true.
My daughter notices everyone’s track marks in my recovery community. I’m open and honest with her and she’s 6. Obviously I make it age appropriate so that she can understand but she’s grown up knowing about our past addiction and we’ve been sober since before she was born.
You answer him with the truth.
We all have scars and stories behind those scars. Some scars are visible, some aren’t. But I believe that when your child asks you about something, you should be honest. Hope that your scars and your stories help guide your child(ren).
You tell him the truth
Tell him it’s none of his business, and tell him to go play outside.
Be honest… only tell as much as they can understand right now…
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The truth, be honest, why lie?
Honesty is the best policy x
As much truth as you’re willing to share. It is a scar. I got cut, fell, car accident. It is what is left of the mark.
If they are old enough to ask they are old enough to know the truth age appropriately obviously. My sons five, he noticed a scar on my leg and asks. It’s from a nail/screw going in my leg. If he asked for more details obviously would have gave him more but he was satisfied with that
Be honest. Every time my daughter has asked me about a scar on my body I have been 100% honest.
Why would it be a big deal? I mean even if there a huge trauma there it’s a teaching moment and possibly a healing moment for you…
Honestly. I have scars as well. I explained to my daughter when she was 7 and asked. That I used to cut myself. That I did it because I thought that was how to feel better because I was really sad. I told her that it was not the right thing to do and talking to someone would have worked better. Hes not two so I would suggest honesty
Be honest. Don’t need a bunch of details depending on how mature they are. But honesty. Always
I tell them I got in a motorcycle accident because it looks like road rash in my thighs
It depends the scars? I have scars from chicken pox as a child, surgery, and a couple from animal bites. I was honest about them all. Self-harm ones I’d also be honest if I had any but at an age appropriate level.
Id explain them to her. Scars are a part of life. And so help them build empathy.
You be an adult and explain the truth.
You tell the truth. Kids understand more than you think. Lying or just ignoring it with the “none of your business” type response is not right nor is it a good way to keep trust.
I have a lot of scars, surgeries, injuries, as a kid. My 6 year old daughter asks when she sees them, she’s proud of them herself and will tell people on her own about them. I’m open to my kids about nearly everything, they make us who we are and our story. She loves telling people I had open heart surgery as a baby.
My son just asked me yesterday about some scars on my legs while we were at the lake…he is 12 and since he was about 9 or so I talked to him about self harm. Nothing major at first we started small… but now that he is about to be the same age I was when I started we had a much more detailed talk. He knows about my struggles and he knows I didn’t have anyone to talk to or trust when I needed it but that he does. I’ve made it clear he can come to me about anything without judgement… So IMO I think it’s time to talk to your child about the truth now
Real love comes from respect and truth
The truth. I’m covered in scars from old childhood injuries to self-harm scars. I’ve never really hid any of it, why would I? You just give age appropriate answers.
I tell my kids the truth
Just tell them. I have two scars on my face from an auto accident. I used them as a teaching moment with my kids to remind them of the importance of wearing a seat belt.
Here’s the thing about bot being honest with your kids and they find out… they learn it’s ok to lie. You can answer honestly vague. I got cut, I fell, I whatever. You don’t have to explain the nuances if you don’t want to.
Battle scars. Im like a super hero that has had some tough fights.
From self harm i just be like idk from playing as a kid.
Just tell them the truth. Life happens, we get scars. They are apart of us and our past. Nothing to be ashamed of.
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When they’re old enough to ask they’re old enough to know the truth.
I’m a firm believer that you can be honest with your kid at any age. You just tell them in an age appropriate way
The truth. Unless it’s a horrific story of abuse (whether self inflicted or inflicted by others), then the conversation should be age appropriate. But always stick with honest answers. If you don’t it will affect your relationship in the future and the trust your child has in you.
I don’t know a single person who doesn’t have scars. They’re completely normal, so why not just answer the questions truthfully? If they’re from self harm, or a result of an abusive situation, than obviously use your best judgment.
Just be honest. You knew you’d have to explain them eventually.
Uhm…tell him what happened
I just tell mine the truth. Just say it. Kids need to know and learn.
Depends on what the scar is for or you can come up with a crazy creative story to teach him what not to do￼:sweat_smile:
I don’t hide anything from my kids. I figure if I tell them the truth if they see or hear anything like we’ve talked about they are prepared. They can laugh about the scar from where I tripped over my own two feet and know someone might need a shoulder or listening ear if it seems self inflicted. It how we can help our kids to always be kind.
Tell them the truth. Both my kids age 10 and 8 know where all my scars come from.
U didn’t say what or where your scars are at. We don’t want to traumatized the child lol
Tell him the truth it cant hurt and be honest.
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What are the scars from? Pending where they are are and his age would determine how you approach answering his questions. You want to be honest, but you don’t always have to tell the full truth until he is older
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I wouldn’t put any bad ideas in any young child’s heads. LIE!!!
You tell the truth
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Just gear the explanations to his level. Don’t go into gory details but be honest as you can. " I got cut or hit" or simple answers but honest.
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I would just be honest. Depending on how much detail you want to go into, be upfront and truthful. He will feel like he can do the same with you
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Honestly. If a child is asking a question it usually means they’re old enough to know the truth.
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