How can I tell my family I do not want them driving with my daughter?

How can I nicely tell my family that when our daughter is with them I do not want them driving with her? I lost a nephew this way and I don’t want her in a car with anyone else but me


Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How can I tell my family I do not want them driving with my daughter?

I am very sorry for the loss of your nephew. As for your daughter I think that’s a little crazy. There will be times when she is not with you & if you say no to that then you will only be hurting her by not allowing her to do certain things or go places. Will you do that forever or just til she is a certain age. Maybe you should talk to a professional to get through some anxiety issues? Good luck to you & hope you figure it out


Just tell them straight forward. However, be prepared for them not want to keep her either. Personally, I will go do what I need to no matter who is with me. I would respect a parent’s wishes and not take the child anywhere, but that child wouldn’t be at my house much.


I was straight up with my dad and my mother in law there driving scares me to death I haven’t road with them driving in least 10+ years if i don’t trust you then am not putting my child in the car to ride with you. My son doesn’t go anywhere with anyone unless his father or I am with him🤷 he is 7 I will probably go on his first date with him😁 am a very over protected mom over my children


My condolences on the loss of your nephew. I think you need to seek therapy to help you move on; car anxiety after something like that is normal but it’s now going to leave a lasting effect on your daughters life if you allow your fears and worries to carry like that. Car accidents can happen regardless of who is driving your child around. She is going to wind up having to be driven by someone else at some point for some reason, and working through your anxieties now is a better time than later when that moment happens.


i would just tell them when she’s with them you don’t want them driving with her and tell them why. Just be straight to the point and if they try to argue about it m, then she can’t be at their place without you.
Also before they watch her i would make sure they don’t need to go anywhere.


Can you tell her? How old is she? She can say, I am not suppose to ride in a car with anyone but mom.

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If they are at my house it’s my rules no matter what if I want to take my kids and my nephews or niece or friends kids out im going to do it and if the family member or friend doesn’t like it too bad I won’t be watching them hope that, that family member or friend doesn’t rely on me to watch them while they work or want to go on a date with they spouse


I am so sorry for your loss. You can’t keep her in a bubble. Get some therapy mama… it will help you cope. You will cripple her if you start this behavior in her early driving years.


Just say you’re not comfortable with her being in a car unless you’re driving. Mine actually doesn’t like anyone else driving, including Dad. Ok on public transport though.

Just tell them! Your child…your rules…I learned a long time ago, every family member has their own rules for everything…you follow theirs, they follow yours…tell them to take a hike if then don’t like it.

Are they irresponsible drivers or is the issue the child driving with anyone? If so, how will this continue throughout the child’s life? No school bus, train, plane? You may want to talk to a therapist to work through your trauma because I highly doubt your child can go through life without ever driving with anyone else.

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Sadly you need to come to terms with your tragedy and get over it . You can’t carry on like you are thinking the worst ever time one of your relatives looks after your child. Your going to end up having a nervous breakdown. Maybe you need to see a doctor or something to help you get over your past.


So sorry for your family’s loss. Maybe get therapy to help deal with the grief and anxiety about others driving your child around. Keep in mind you have zero control over the other drivers on the road as well. It doesn’t always depend on your skills v. Your family’s. Good luck


That Anxiety is real. Unless you get a professional to help you with it. You won’t get over it. I was the same. Get help. She can get into a car accident with you in the car as well.

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Wait what?
I MIGHT be able to understand if you were concerned about the specific person that was driving when your nephew died assuming they were responsible for his death, other than that you sound a little silly and definitely need therapy


You need therapy. There are going to be times that she is not going to be with you or that you will not be available and she will need to be driven by someone else. Therapy can do wonders for your anxiety. <3


My mom crashed with me in the car when I was 5. She didn’t drive for 15 years after that. It made growing up hard and she had/has this weird resentment about me and as an adult I stopped talking to her all together. It’s messed up. So seek help and try not to traumatize you or her.


While an understandable worry, please talk with someone about your high anxiety hugs No judgment, I would have been the same way years ago but am getting some help. Life in general is starting to smooth out :blush:

It’s probably best to only allow your child to go to a daycare that you drop off and pickup from. While your loss of a family member is valid, it is unrealistic of you to make demands on people that love your child and would do anything to protect her. You have to accept that other people’s lives can not be based on your fear. You are setting your child up for an abnormal childhood and potentially, exceptionally detrimental teenage years. You really need to seek counseling. While saying that she can’t go in a vehicle with a less experienced driver is acceptable, a blanket statement of "She can go nowhere, with anyone, at anytime is simply over the top. Jmho

So sorry. Unfortunately I’d say never let them have you child for any length of time as they’re not qualified for day care. Even I had to sign a waiver for my children to go on the day care van. If I’m watching someone’s child I always ask but I can’t be stuck at home especially if there’s an emergency all because someone isn’t comfortable with me taking their child with me if I need to leave. So mostly I don’t watch people’s children’s for too long unless I have their permission to playing them with me and only people my children really go with is day care. And I did have a heart attack when I was told one of their vans was in an accident with my daughter in it. One of the children got a broken arm out of it. Mine got a bloody nose.

Just be upfront about it. I didn’t allow anyone to drive my children when they were newbies and people understood. Unless it was an emergency no one really watched my kids either.

I’m sorry for the loss of your nephew. Unless your family drives unsafely that’s kind of ridiculous though. Your fear is absolutely real and relevant and you probably need to seek some counseling. Now, on the other hand if you have crazy drivers in your family simply tell them I don’t trust your driving.

You don’t have any explaining to do. Just say, hey, here’s the way it is! New rule, no butts!

Just follow her everywhere she goes, that should do it. I feel sorry for your child. Yes I understand what happened to your family member but your daughter is literally going to grow up with no friends and she’s never going to experience life and she’s going to be the one missing out bc of your paranoia. That’s just sad. You need therapy.

I’m sorry for your loss but tbh…you are just as likely to have an accident as anyone else driving. Unless they are dangerous drivers you are going to have to deal with the fact that your child will be in someone else’s car at some point in her life or she’s going to miss out on so much. We cant wrap our children in bubble wrap no matter how much we may want to.
Perhaps its time for some form of counselling