I have a question, and it’s not necessarily mom related, so I understand if it doesn’t get posted. How do you tell one of your best friends that she and her kids smell terrible? They are all so smell blind, they don’t realize how bad it is. And I feel bad, because my daughter and her daughter are friends and want to hang out, but it’s hard to do anything with them when the smell makes us all feel sick. I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, but it’s really bad. And before anyone says anything, I have made sure that this isn’t a financial issue, or anything like that. They have the ability to do laundry in their home, and they have clean, running water. I am torn because I feel like it could be mean to tell them, but it’s also making it difficult to be friends because it’s almost impossible to be in the same room as them.
I had a friend like this and I asked if they were doing okay at home. She immediately started talking about how she had to throw out her last bottle of body wash for some weird reason… I think she was just going through a hard time mentally and things got out of hand. I ended up making a care package for her and her daughter. I just said it was stuff I had bought and didn’t like so if she liked the stuff she could have it. She took it without question. Hope this helps.
I’m a blunt person. We had a girl at work who smelled horrible, she was a clean person just smelled bad. I told her privately her cloths stink, she was leaving them in the wash and forgetting to switch them over to the dryer, and it caused them to smell. She didn’t realize the smell, and was happy to know.
Does the house smell bad too? Or just themselves in person? Sit down with her, tell her to need to talk to her about something and you don’t want to upset her… ask her if she’s doing okay, wait for her response, see what she says, and then bring up that there’s an odor.
if my friends/family thought i stank i couldn’t be mad at them for being straightforward and telling me. i would just tell her how you worded this status and if she gets mad then that’s on her!
Maybe she needs some better, scented, laundry soap. Some scented dryer sheets or fabric softener. Some really good shampoo and body wash that smells good. Good deodorant, scented lotion, body spray. Even if there is a medical reason behind it (or maybe they just love eating onions and garlic, which smells horrible as it leaves your pores) there ARE things you can do about it. Maybe put her together a gift basket with all these smell good things. Throw some spa type stuff in it like maybe a face mask, foot scrub, body butter, or bath bombs in it. Tell her to treat her and her daughter to an at home spa treatment or something. Good luck
Maybe talk about your shampoo/body wash that you use for your kiddos and ask what brand or scent she uses?!
Talk to her! If you scared she won’t take it the well, blame it on allergy. Say something like hay are you guys using a new body wash, shampoo or laundry soap? Mine & daughter allergies have been crazy the last couple times we hung out. Daughter wanted to do a mom/daughter spa day do you guys want to join us?
Is it a body odor smell or their clothing? If it’s their clothing maybe it’s a simple as their washer needs to be cleaned - find a new product that cleans it and share it because you’re just so impressed with it
Not really enough information…Is it their clothes? Or body odor? Is she/the kids unkempt? Do they appear clean? Has it always been like this? Or is it recent?
*If they appear clean and it’s just their clothes, it could be their washer needs to be cleaned. I had that happen to me before it was pretty embarrassing because we bathe and I was doing laundry (multiple times). Sometimes people just don’t think about it.
*If they appear clean and it’s their bodies that smell, it could be a medical condition (even hereditary). I know (just for example) anxiety/panic sweat smells WAY worse than regular body odor. There’s other medical conditions too that will affect how a person smells.
It’s not that it’s wrong to be honest with your friend, but you also want to make sure that you’re as gentle as you can be and not make assumptions or jump to conclusions.
I would be honest. If those kids smell that bad that’s a child protection call waiting to happen. Is it their clothes or actual body odor? Does their house smell like that too? There are a lot of reasons why they stink.
Either way, be honest and let her know.
If that’s your best friend speak directly. Maybe it’s none of those above reasons and your friend is really going through something . These are warning signs especially in women .
Just be upfront with her but let her know its not to embarrass them by no means you just wanted to reach out and talk to her. It’s better a friend speaks with her than a complete stranger calling her out or her child getting bullied at school etc.
Idk, I could use some advice on the same subject. My son has a best friend who smells so badly of cat pee sometimes that I don’t want to invite him to do stuff with us because the smell is horrible and it sticks in my car forever. Idk hownto approach the situation either
You should definitely tell her. I would be light hearted about it but definitely tell her. I’m sure she doesn’t want her and her kids walking around smelling badly.
Maybe write her a letter and don’t sign it so she doesn’t know where it came from because I think if your honest with her she may get upset and that would be difficult for your friendship !
It could be that she sticks to the same product, we learned in cosmetology that, just like medication, using the same thing over and over will cause your body to build a tolerance and not work anymore. I would personally just gift some nice stuff to them and maybe they’ll use them and that’ll help.
Some people shower twice daily and bathe in body spray and still smell, it can just be their genes
Mabey she has hard water some water smells awful and can make your clothes and hair stinks
I had a friend who experienced this issue but it was by choice. They did not use certain soaps, detergents, or body products due to “toxic” chemicals. Even their breath stunk bc they refused to use toothpaste with my kind of chemicals so they brushed with this powder stuff. Maybe that is part of the problem. IDK
Either way, I say have a conversation about it. If you think it could be rank laundry, make a joke about how you left your laundry in too long and noticed the smell. It could break the ice. Also, if she is super crunchy and is concerned about chemical exposure, white vinegar is a miracle.
I would just be honest. Just let her know that you care about her and have good intentions and you want to save her or her children any embarrassment that it might cause. My son is abnormally smelly, and in elementary school, and he just has to wash more than the average person. Some people’s body orders are just different (not sure if that’s what it is in your friend’s case). But the point I’m trying to make is I let him know that he needs to wash more so he doesn’t stink because I don’t want him to get made fun of.
I found out the friend’s house had no hot water. She showered at my house from then on. I gave her deodorant and personal items for her own home.
Just tell her that they stink they are probably nose blind and dont realize they stink
Ask her what scents she uses. Or put vaseline in your nose.
Write a letter make up a care package put the letter in it don’t sign it be very nice about it though
Honesty is the right answer.
That’s wat happens wen u don’t shower everyday
Buy a gift basket with stuff they can wash their clothes bubble bath body wash etc. Add some candy
Maybe bring it up to her and ask if she thinks it could be diet related ? If not offer advice on products you guys use. It could be her detergent and type of dryer sheets not getting animal or outdoor scenes out ?
Could actually be their house making them smell bad unless it’s b.o. it’s most likely their house that stinks and it’s just seeping into fabrics
Maybe she can only afford cheap detergent. Doing the best she can if single.
If she is a true friend she should expect you to be honest. That what friends are for
I would want my friends to be straight forward with me
Tell her straight they stink and hand her a big with soap shampoo and conditioner etc then walk out the door
Have u been to her house? She could be a hoarder or something. Possible mental health issues and dropping ball on the hygiene habits? Something to think about. Clearly they aren’t bathed or clothes washed
If the child smells that bad and is in school DCFS would have been called because the school would report it
Make her a care package for Easter
Just be careful there is a lot of great advice here but there is a genetic reason too sometimes.
I would ask people to be up front with me
just tell her if you are best friends she will thank you
Before you say anything, is it BO? Clothing? Smoke? Their house in general?
Pin pointing where help may be needed will be more helpful vs just straight saying y’all stink.
This is honestly one of my worst fears! I would want someone to tell me!!
When i was a single mom, I bought a used washer &it made our clothes smell SOO bad… nothing I did worked, I had to get a whole new washer &it was embarrassing the whole time…
Just be blunt. You are my friend and I want you to know that u need to shower/bathe better and so doesn’t your child. I only tell you this because I care and I want to be able to stand being around you because you are an awesome person.
Does someone smoke in there home?
Personally I would want to know if I smelled bad she might appreciate the honesty
You can borrow my kid. He will tell anyone in a quick minute if they stink.
lol just laugh and ask when is bath day cause you all smell like you been playing in the dirt
I’d your a true friend, you’d be upfront and tell her straight. I’d be horrified if I stunk and my mates didn’t tell me
So what happened???