How can my ex and I communicate about our child?

I’m having communication issues with my ex, and it’s mainly when she (a same-sex couple) is mad at me for something. But when I text her to check on my daughter or communicate something about schedules, I get no response. What can I do about this? How can I get this change where we still communicate about our daughter despite our differences and being mad at the other?

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How can my ex and I communicate about our child?

Only thing that’s helped me and my kids dad is time. It was rough for awhile but after a few years and us BOTH moving on things got easier

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Take her to court for visitation and custody agreement. It’s best to have it done legally so she doesn’t keep up the bs.

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Try Our Family Wizard. A lot of courts order this service so the cost can be shared. It is supposed to be super helpful. Good luck!

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Use a court approved app. Like Talking Parents or Our family wizard.

Sadly it looks like getting the courts involved to show you ain’t playing

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You can’t force them to talk. Check your papers. Mine don’t say I have to discuss school or anything.

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There’s a communication app that’s monitored through the courts you can probably get.

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You to need to sit down and just talk tell her that you just want communication between you guys for your daughter sake

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You could try mediation. Find a mediator in your area that might be able to help you. And document everything! If they are not communicating, it will look really bad to the family courts.

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You need a court order & court ordered family therapy.
Her behavior is toxic & your children don’t need to learn it.
You don’t stop parenting bc you’re mad…:roll_eyes:

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If your losing time with your daughter due to it, then court will end up being the option if she can’t put differences aside.

Talk to her first. Let her know you understand that you two don’t get along all the time but you ultimately want it not to affect either of you guys relationship with the child.
Maybe sign up for a parenting app so you can communicate about the child there.

And just work on minimizing conflict on your side of things. Most of the things we fight about in a blended family can be avoided if you put a little extra effort into it.
Just step away from the phone, take some time and deep breaths, and remind yourself that the most important thing is the child.

You cant control how she behaves. But you can control how you decide to react.

Hopefully couet doesn’t become necessary. But the longer you wait in an situation where your visitation is being affected the more it could be used against you. Always stare your concern with it clearly and in texts that you can use as documentation so they can’t say you were ok with less time/contact/est…just in case that ends up being their goal since they arent getting along with you currently.

Unfortunately it seems as if woman are bad for this and you cannot do anything about it other than a court order

I’d go back to court and set specific times for you to call it’s not right that she is ignoring you when it comes to your child

Take her to court and get it mandated. Then, if she refuses to communicate about the children, she’ll be in violation of court.

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Court order and agreed upon third party liason.

She needs to think about the fact that it’s NOT about you and her anymore, it’s about raising your child as productive member of society together!

You could try a communication notebook. You just write in the book what it is and date it so the other person knows the message is current and all they have to do is put a check mark next to it or their response.

Use the cozi.com app

Good luck. Join a fathers rights page. Judges don’t care and women get away with this and worse simply cuz they are moms

Tell her a lack of response will be viewed as agreement.

Get a protective order they will make her only have contact for the kids she won’t have a choice but to respond

It takes time. And just keep trying and always do the right thing, regardless of how low she goes.

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How can my ex and I communicate about our child?

Email. It proves you attempted to make an effort

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Talk to the courts if you have a custody arrangement. Then can provide a mediator for you guys. At least where I’m from they do. The only one getting hurt here is your daughter and you as a parent

Your ex needs to get some help for co-parenting and you should look into the work shop as well.
The work shops can be useful in giving tools and strategies on how to co-parent when there are major differences. It will also help yous both to learn how to leave your personal issues out of the equation.
Even if you are the only one who takes it, you will be further ahead becaise you are Making an effort to make it about the child

I do everything by email - that way nothing gets misinterpreted - I also had to get the court to issue something in our last agreement.

You allow kids to be exposed to that?

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Do you have a parenting plan in place?
If not you need to get one. It outlines all of this.
If you have one already and it doesn’t state that you need to communicate between visits, then you can have it altered. Or just follow the parenting plan and no need for much communication.

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I would recommend the app called Our Family Wizard. It shows when each parent and accesses it. it is expensive, but it is well worth it and is admissible in almost every Court.

you cannot make her communicate. Any more than I can make my child’s father communicate with me. All I can do is my part. I’m keeping in my part of the parenting plan and agreement. if he doesn’t, then I have no choice but to respond within the rights afforded to me in our parenting plan.

you may even have to get a lawyer if the lack of communication impedes your ability to make medical decisions, Etc. getting a lawyer will either hold the other mother accountable for not communicating or will give you unilateral legal decision-making due to the other parents lack of interest and/or communication

but you can’t make her want to talk to you. You can’t make her talk to you as much as you want. You can’t make her talk to you about things that she doesn’t want to communicate. if she doesn’t want to tell you about the child’s mood that day, she doesn’t actually have to. If she doesn’t want to tell you what she did with the child, she doesn’t actually have to. as long as everything she did was within her parental rights. the only thing she has to communicate is whatever was outlined in your parenting plan. if you don’t have a parenting plan, you really can’t do or say anything. You don’t have any rights, legally. And it sucks.

You can’t control her at all. All you can do is respond to what they do. It’s an extremely extremely hard lesson to come around to, but at the end of the day we really don’t have a choice

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Parenting agreement.

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From experience… if your child is with your ex… don’t ask to see how they are… as hard as it is… let them have their time, the day of switching touch base an hour before the time. Keep the communication as little as possible for now… it will get better but forcing it, the ex will just close off more. My ex and I also had set days and at one point school was drop off and pick up until we got over our anger… it’s best for all including the kids… other option is mediation just to break that anger… either way… as mentioned is email…

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I’m not sure how new this situation is, but if fairly new maybe go to court to have some parenting plans set in place. Also a co parenting class may help both of you with communication skills and planning visits, appointments, holidays and so on. That way you have a mutual agreement in place that both of you can be happy with or at least live with to make things easier between yous to continue to parent your daughter together separately. Good luck!

Ok so be real who birthed the child and who is on the birth certifcate.go to court if this is your child fight. Get your time legally if you can.

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If your both female who’s the birth mother?

A communication book. You can write your concerns, schedules etc and not have to speak at all

Y’all both have 2 understand it isn’t about either of u. It’s about the child. Mad or not y’all have a kid together. Grow up and get over herself for the sake of the child. Instead of acting like 1 raise 1. Shes teaching the child it’s ok 2 act like that when ur mad at someone and teaching bad communication skills. Ur not going 2 be able 2 come 2 an understanding about why shes mad and either fix it or explain why she doesnt have a reason 2 be mad. Y’all are separated 4 a reason but having a child is a binding thing whether either of u like it ur always tied now.

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Our family Wizard is an app that is used for this exact situation.

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There is a reason why your not together & your being reminded. She isnt obliged to reply to your communication about arrangements or you checking up on them, when shes with the child, unless something goes wrong. It’s their time, leave them alone & do something separate

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The only person y’all are hurting by fighting is that little girl.

There are plenty of co-parenting apps that allow scheduling to be seen and messages about just the child and their needs.

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Go court - get set schdule stick to it. - the end. There an app the court uses - just a warning - if " one person is always unable to keep schdule " - court review it-
If have keep which schdule " judge can look at as unstable home enviorment -"

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I honestly cannot communicate with my ex-husband at ALL. Too much trauma there. However I get along with step-mom perfectly fine, so I communicate through her.

First of all you all need to grow up! You had this child out of “LOVE” act like it! Put the child first and get along for their sake. Don’t put them in the middle and don’t bad mouth the other parent! Unless the “ex” has done some kind of crime and has hurt this child you both need to stop your pettiness.

My husband is going thru some stuff with his ex right now. They both just agreed to use a co-parenting app to help with this. It just started but it seems like it will be useful. We didn’t even know they were available so sharing for others who may not be aware also.

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She has to understand that it’s about the well-being of the child, and not about your differences. How to make her put her ego aside, and understand those things, is another issue all together.

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Use an app called Our Family Wizard. You can share a calendar and make changes. It will alert the other party. If it becomes an issue it can be used in court and is recommended by many family courts. It will show when things are read even so the other party can’t claim they didn’t get the information.

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What can you do about it? Grow up for heaven’s sake act like adults. Just because you two couldn’t make it as a couple (same sex or not) doesn’t make a difference the children should NEVER have to pay for the ignorance of parents not being able to co-parent. Do it for the child! :woman_facepalming:t2:

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Get a lawyer and print out the text messages you have, ask about them about communicating and make sure it is just texting to you can keep them and print them out and show the lawyer

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How can my ex and I communicate about our child?

Use Our Family Wizard

My ex wife and I took about a year before we were able to properly communicate and coparent. We both had a hard time because of all the history we had. Always nitpicking and fighting even after everything. Eventually we both realized and spoke about the fact that we have our own issues and feelings but when it comes to our child we need to be the best parents we can be for him. We still at times have moments of hostility and anger but know how to manage it much better. Maybe try explaining that even tho you two have your differences with each other it is not fair to your child that you both cant communicate when it comes to her. And that it is best that you both keep each other updated on anything with her even if you have a hard time communicating with each other

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You can request the court to mandate you use the app “our family wizard”… however if one parent refuses to grow up, nothing will help.

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I’ve been in the same boat for several months now. Not a same sex couple but men are no different lol. Are you in a new relationship? Or is she? I’ve had Alotta trouble with my sons dad since I got in a new relationship. I’m currently with an FTM but I honestly don’t think he’d act different if it was a biological man I was with. It’s honestly just bitterness. That’s about the only reason unless you’re hard to deal with also so she does tit for tat. It’s all hard. I’m starting to think healthy coparenting doesn’t exist😕

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When you find out. Let me know. No matter what I do, my son’s father is this way. Even had it put in court order that we communicate through a co-parenting app and we have to respond within 24 hrs…as well as court ordered co-parenting classes. I asked this because I want to be the best we can for our son…but even with a court order…it isn’t happening. It’s them that have to make the choice to change. Hang in there :heart:

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Pick a neutral middle man, and every text is a three way communication between all of you so that everyone can see the responses and interactions. Makes everyone responsible

That is a great question. Here is where adults need to put their anger aside, totally, for the best interest of the child. Most people have a few challenges w this, I see. I suspect her new partner may be insecure or jealous. I hope someone else had more helpful recommendations for you.

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This is going to sound mean, but you can both grow up and realize it’s not about you! It’s absolutely ridiculous for adults to behave this way. Grow up. You have a child to raise.

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Complaint to the judge, it with become a stipulation on the child visitation orders, if she breaks the orders the judge will deal with her give her a punishment

Maybe try one of the parental apps. I’ll see if I can find one and screenshot it. It was beneficial when we’re in the emotional stage of our divorce

In Wisconsin, we have something called “my family wizard “ where the courts can monitor the conversations, there’s also a Calendar you can add like sporting events doctors appointments etc. to. And if the other parent does not communicate with you that is a way that they can see that you were trying to check in but they are not responding.

If she can’t be grown and respect that your communication is solely for the child, you have a big “petty” problem!

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Write her a nin judgemental letter explaining that you need to establish better communication. That your dgt is separate from any issues you 2 have.
Ask for her help in establishing guidelines

Simple does she hate you more than she loves her daughter,if not then she needs to suck it up and be a adult

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Family wizard app “our family wizard”

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How can my ex and I communicate about our child?