She is an adult tell her to get a job and pay rent or move, And do not let the boyfriend move in, he needs a job too.
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My son-in-law’s brother is 31. He’s been doing the same thing with his wife for 11 years. No jobs, mooching off of everybody else, they had three children and lost three children to the courts, staying with different people but not paying rent, begging everybody for money. Homeless off and on. And I don’t see any change.
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If the dad wrote this post easily could say do what you have to your kid.but step mummy has written it as they do speak on behalf of the partner making out he is all for random advice but he ain’t it’s just you.so leave it to the dad and you might be the one who moves out because he ain’t going to throw her out the boyfriend lose him that’s the part you can play 
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Children, no matter what age, is one thing. Boyfriend’s do not move in‼️
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She is not a child- she’s a grown woman making her own life choices. Let her live and learn based on her choices. 
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They answered their own question…so…if they do not want to enable…don’t enable. She is 21 and time to figure life out.
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Tell them to grow the hell up or move out.
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Show her the door and explain to her that your not always gonna be around stop enabling this woman please my son is 19 lives on his own and doesn’t ask us for anything if he can do it so can your step daughter
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Boyfriend absolutely would not be moving in with her already acting like that and would be having a family discussion about expectations. Definitely need to set strong expectations and consequences such as a deadline to move out if she doesn’t adhere to those expectations (like actively searching for/getting a job and helping around the house)
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She’s an adult… Send them on their way, absolutely nothing you do or say at this point will change how she acts or what she wants. It’s time she figures out life on her own
Probably a very unpopular opinion. But All these comments are shocking to me. Yeah she could just be spoiled or it could be mental health issues. And if it is her just being spoiled whose fault is that? Did she have to be responsible for anything as a teenager? If not how can you expect her to be responsible now. We are supposed to teach our children the right way to do things. Not hand everything to them then after 18 kick them out cause “ she’s an adult now and she don’t do anything.” How can you expect her to if she was never taught. maybe I’m crazy? I would not let boyfriend move in, if she leaves chances are she’ll be back quick. I would tell her she needs to have a job within x amount of time. While she’s working have her buy groceries or something and let her save $$. How is she supposed to save it to move out if she’s giving y’all money for rent and paying other bills? No that’s not how it works when she’s out on her own in the “real world” I know. Again, maybe it’s just me. But our kids don’t stop being our kids just because they turn 18. Especially if they had 0 responsibilities as a child/teen because nobody gave them any. There’s nothing wrong with HELPING your child get on their own two feet. Now Taking advantage is different. That’s why you should not let boyfriend in and set a time limit. Don’t forget that you guys brought her there. I wouldn’t have done that just to kick her out. Just saying.
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They wana play big world games let them figure it out!
she’s an adult for goodness sake let her live her messed up life with her ol man
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She’s 21, stay out of her business
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What kind of toys are you speaking of? Maddy Barwick
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If her boyfriend is a sugar daddy, where is his money to support himself? Why does this old man need to move in with your step-daughter ( under your roof )? I would kick the young ( grown ) woman out! If you are concerned about the welbeing of the baby, and you have the finaces and time, you could have her sign papers of Temporary Custody over to you and get the papers signed by a Public Notary. The papers can be drawn up and signed by PN at any Lawyer’s office. If you have concern for the child. Give step-daughter and her boyfriend the boot!
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Yea, neither one would be living in my house. Wanna play grown up games, then deal with the grown up prizes. Just because she is your step daughter does not make it ok for her to take advantage.
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I know for myself, I had to figure out that nobody would be there for me but me if I was going to make crappy decisions.
You are enabling her if you allow deadbeat boytoy to move in, too. And if you really think it’s gone that far, let her know you love her and that you’ll always be there if she really needs it, but that you can’t continue to support this behavior and she has until (insert leave date here) to get her things and find somewhere else to stay.
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Your first mistake was letting her move in after knowing how she is.
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Tell them to get there own home she is 21 and about time she realised what the real world is really like , I’m sure if she didn’t have everything she has now she would soon buck up her ideas and under no circumstances would I allow the boyfriend to be moving in either not a chance on this Earth , he isn’t your responsibility
Why would you let her boyfriend move in? She is already showing she wants to do nothing, letting her boyfriend move in is just going to enable them. Give them a deadline to get jobs and their own place or send them on their way.
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No way would they live with me - if they are homeless maybe they’d get off their ars*s and sort their lives out
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Be mean, you guys aare parents, not friends. The real world doesnt care of you are sleep and dont wanna go to school. Telling them and talking to them about it isnt gonna do any good if they dont get a dose of reality themselves.
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simple … she’s 21… not a kid anymore. let her figure it out
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I think giving them a deadline is very reasonable and will probably wake them up a bit and get them moving
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30 days & out what does her dad say
Tough love goes a long way, let them figure it out and make their own decisions, and suffer the consequences. Then maybe they’ll have a different perspective on life.
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Time for her to stand on her own two feet, if things don’t improve then you need to show her the door and no way would I let her boyfriend move in, if they want to live together then they can find their own place and support themselves
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Require them to either 1. have jobs and start paying rent ( doesnt have to ne a lot 50-100 a week). You could save for her so when she does move out on her own she can biy furniture or what not.
2. They have to clean the house and make dinner at least 5 days a week if they arent working.
Teach them what goes into making a home…
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Neither would be in my house get up get jobs.
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How did you think enabling would change her behavior?
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Kick them out! Quit enabling her
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Call menold school but if she isn’t doing squat why in hell would you let him mobe in for free too?? 
The only way she’ll be responsible is if you make her.
She wants to use Wi-fi, she better start paying for it bc I’d change the password…and that’s just to start.
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She is 21 let her fall and learn to pick herself back up and fiqure it out!! The only reason she is being lazy is because you are allowing it… kick her out and tell her to fiqure it out!! As for her “ boyfriend” tell him to get his shit together and be a man and responsible!!
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Here’s the problem. After two weeks of her staying there (She may not even know this) but there’s a thing called squatters rights and you’d have to legally evict her if it got to that point. Again, she may have no idea about that but she’s also 21… she’s doing her own thing right now and she won’t listen Until she’s ready or she’s had enough. It’s unfortunate but she’s got to learn. As a parent your job is to catch her when she falls. HER. Not her boyfriend. Be there when she’s wants to try to turn around. Be there when she fails again but do NOT carry her on your back for even a second. She will take that and run as far as she can with it. And she will reach a point where she blames you all for what’s happening to her. Don’t let it affect you. I’ve got too many friends I grew up with who are exactly how you are explaining her to be. I’ve seen this first hand so many times. It’s an ugly process. But hopefully she comes around soon. Sometimes they don’t. But either way, you can’t create stress in your life trying to baby an adult who only wants hand outs.
Never let her move in
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At 21 I had already been married for my second time and traveling the country with my second husband building a life together making our own money.
At 18 I can understand being lazy and what not, but 21 and not willing to do anything at all? And letting her manipulate y’all in to letting her bf move in? Stand firm, I am always willing to help people who are willing to help themselves. Set a time, and start charging rent. If them having to pay rent makes them move out then so be it.
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You’re already enabling her. She’s an adult and you have to tough love her. Either she will sink or swim. Don’t let the boyfriend move in. You’re already talking as if you’re considering it but that is only further enabling your situation. Another option is making her get a job and pay rent, otherwise she has x amount of days to leave your home. I’d serve her in writing. Explain that you both love her, but are trying to teach her how the real world works. You’re trying to support her but you’re not trying to enable this bad behavior that will surely lead to her being homeless. Talk to her about shelters and hot soup kitchens… that way she is also informed. I’m telling you, you need to push her and either she will figure it out or not.
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Personally I wouldn’t let the boyfriend move in and I would give a short deadline to her… maybe 10 days to get a job n start paying rent. It’s not being mean. Real life takes money. N nothing is free. She is never gonna do for herself if she has her dad to fall back on. Some kids just need to be dumped on their heads to figure out life. It’s time she has a reality check. It sounds like she has made enough excuses. She would already be gone if she lived in my house. Even if I had to put her stuff out on the lawn n change the locks.
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I’m not trying to sound harsh, but moving her in was a bad idea. She already showed you how she was. A different scenery? She is grown! The only scenery she needs is motivation and a job application. Don’t move the boyfriend in. Give her a deadline today. It’s going to be hell moving them out if you don’t heed the warning. They are grown!!
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Give her a time frame to get her act together or she’s out. He cannot move in. She is 21? She has a lot to learn about the world. It’s called tough love. What’s she gonna do when you guys are no longer around? At 21, she’s an adult and responsible for her own life. She’s not a child who needs to be “Raised” by anyone.
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She already showed you what she wants for her life atm. You moving her in was a mistake. Id give her 30 days to move out and get her stuff/life together.
Let them fo to job Corp they can stay on campus collect a stipend pick up a trade and after that tell them to get a job don’t let her boyfriend move in either he’ll no let his family decide what he’ll do in the mean time.
She will only change when forced. Do not give her any more and give her 6 weeks to get enough saved for her own place. She is old enough.
From experience, set a deadline for her to get a job and stick to it. Give her responsibilities around the house and stick to it. Then set a deadline to move out no matter what. STICK TO IT. She will call your bluff if you arent willing to be the tough guy. She will grow up one day and appreciate what you are doing or she wont but at 21 thats her decision. You have a right to stand up for your mental well being, your home, and your relationship. Its very draining to have a fully capable adult fully dependent upon you. Stand your ground
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You let the real world educate them. Refuse them help. It would be different if there problems weren’t self inflicted. But this is not okay to enable them.
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It’s called tough love. Kick her sorry grown ass out! Shut the door and don’t look back.
It is funny you think some good example would change her. She has no reason to change. So yes, a deadline. Six months, job or school or out. No boyfriend. Let her find her own way.
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Your mistake was inviting her there thinking she would grow up. Kick her out
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Boyfriend would not be moving in. Think about it this way, allowing her to act this way is doing her a grave injustice. Giving her a deadline isn’t mean it’s helping her.
Y’all live in West Virginia don’t you?
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Smh don’t do it. The whole point of raising your kids is so they can take care of themselves. Now if she was working & was struggling to get there that’d be a different story but she’s lazy. She isn’t gonna make it in this world without applying herself. Give her tough love
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Um shes 21 let her figure it out. Because I wasnt following the rules my parents had enough of my nonsense so they kicked me out at 19. Shes already said she is lazy by allowing her to move in you are enabling the behavoir. Sometimes we need to just figure it out.
… why in heavens name would you invite her into your Sanctuary? The only thing he has to do is take care of his daughter not her!
Updated I read it wrong maybe?!? The 21 is his daughter let her go live and do her thing. We were all young at one point and made mistakes let her make hers and provide he guidance from a distance good luck 
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I would have minded my business in the first place and let her do her own thing outside my house. It’s your job to protect and raise the kid not the mom.
Big mistake letting your boyfriends ex move in with you guys. Tell her she has to move.
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I see that you’re trying to help and bring nice, but this would be a threat to your marriage. Not that your husband would have an affair but you are bringing turmoil into the sanctuary of your home.
I’m sorry but 21 or not why didn’t her daddy whip her butt when he found out she signed up on a sugar daddy site. 
Sugar daddy can pay their rent!
Be done you have to make her grow up
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I would give them a timeline on both getting jobs. They are grown adults. If they don’t meet that timeline then it’s time to leave. Period. As a friend of mine just quoted in a post about his son, I would rather you be alive and hate me than dead and like me. At 21 years old it sounds like she’s used to getting her way. Time to put your foot down in your home.
She’s 21 she’s an adult kick her out let her make her own choices she’s not giving you no money to help out
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You letting her move in was your first mistake, now the boyfriend. Wow are you going to be sorry. Your really a glutton for punishment 
. You and your husband will probably get a divorce over this.
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She told you she wont work already…sometimes the best thing you can do is nothing at all.She needs to learn some very hard lessons in order to see for herself that she is the only one that can get her where she needs to be in life.Tough love is hard but she will definitely learn.
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Sounds like she could have some depression, honestly. I’d try that first so at least y’all can say y’all tried. And the smoking weed thing really isn’t a big deal. I’ve done it for 20 years, and it Mildly helps my anxiety, along with meds and therapy too. 
You’re being way too nice and now we have another entitled child as an adult. And now a boyfriend… There is going to be more problems soon. This is so hard to fix. Good luck.
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Okay, I think some of you are a little confused. She did NOT let her husband’s ex move in. He has a 21 year old daughter with his ex and they allowed her to move in.
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Not trying to be mean but why would you have her move in to mooch off you. You invited her now you have to find a nice way to kick her out again…
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I’m trying to figure out why y’all would let a GROWN woman move in with y’all thinking that you could change her. THEN y’all allowed her boyfriend to move in too. If y’all don’t kick their grown a**es to the curb. Y’all just made it easy to PLAY house in y’all home. 
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First, the boyfriend doesn’t get to move in. You’re already taking care of one adult child, do you want another? As for her, she has 30 days to have a FULL TIME job and start contributing, or she’s out. There is no excuse. It would be a different story if she was in college or working and trying to save for her own place. But she sounds like an entitled brat who needs a wake up call!
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Sink or swim time! Do not let the bf move in!!! Do not give a deadline she won’t do it. Give an ultimatum of get a job or get out and be homeless. Period. Otherwise you will be railroaded into letting the bf move in and you will never get them out. Do not be a door mat!
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You invited her in, now you can uninvite her out! You tried!
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She already showed you she’s about that lazy life and don’t want to work for anything. She wants everything handed to her without working for it. You said she signed up on the Sugar daddy website. Give her ultimateiums and tell her either she shape up or shop out.
You really thought she’d be different with you guys 
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Don’t do it. She may not move out and then you are stuck
No give her 4 to 6 months to get set in a job money saved and fund a place. they can live together if they don’t get their shit together then it’s time a hard life lesson is learned.
I’d kick her out now. Shes an adult. She can figure things out for herself
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All these rude comments are sad, I get it u was trying to be nice and help her out but u can’t control these actions she is making she is an adult and if I was you I would kick her out I bet she will come crawling back when she actually figures out what the real world is all about. Sounds like she is an ungrateful little brat. best of luck momma
OH MY GOD.
I totally read this as HIS EX is 21 and y’all are trying to help her and her new boyfrannn…
Until I came to the comments to see who else was trippin.
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Clearly the sugar daddy sites didn’t work out too well if she can’t pay any bills lmao
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Set deadlines and expectations for them to live in your home. Clearly they are not motivated to do any of this on their own. They need structure and accountability, sounds like they have never had it in their lives so now is the time. You have the right to ask for rent. I would set it aside as a savings for them to get a place of their own. People saying kick them out is not productive. You might need to eventually but you have to treat them as young adults and go through steps to teach them the things no one has ever taught them before now. Good luck
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You don’t let a lazy person move in. Especially when they admitted to not wanting to support themselves.
Time for them to be on street. No deadline…
Needs to be given.
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Let them be on the street. She’s 21, an adult. You can’t make her do what you want, but the harsh reality of having nothing and nowhere to stay, will force her to grow up. Definitely do not let the bf move in.
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Ya, letting her move in was your first mistake.
But ya, give her a deadline and hold to it. And tell her NO to the BF moving in. No need to make things harder on the two of you.
As for the suger daddy’s websites. It’s not against the law.
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Why ask her to move in with you, if you knew you didn’t like her lifestyle. Seems like you invited it, now you gotta deal with it.
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You never should let the pos bf move in, that would be a huge mistake. Give her 30 days to get a job and save for her own place. Then she has to leave
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She gotta go period!
Work or school, some have to hit bottom and some you can’t fix.
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So, you let her move in knowing all of this and now, you want to kick her out? Wtf is wrong with you? There are other ways to try and help besides inviting her in and throwing her out when she was honest about who she is. Try forcing her to buy her own food, paying for her own internet and cable. Why is the very first thing to do to a child of yours is to throw them out? Would the first thing you’d do is throw your own kid out? Seems you have no issue now that it’s his kid.
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Bye! At 21 I had 2 kids and 2 jobs. Tell that girl to get off her lazy a** and get to work. My 19 and 17yr olds have jobs and go to school. All you are doing is enabling her and she’s an adult. And I’ll be damned if some worthless boy is going to move in with my daughter who ain’t got a job and ain’t paying no bills. They can kick rocks!
She is a adult pet her do what ever she wants with her life nothing will change her unless she wants yo biggest mistake you make was letting her move in
Brain doesnt fully mature until your 25 so… maybe seek therapy for her and let her live with you but not the boyfriend… once she is screened for depression and such you’ll be able to make better decisions. Sounds like possible depression to me… Its something. If you want to be a good parent, you’ll acknowledge she needs help and help her. She might not even know what’s wrong. Her behavior alone proves she isn’t okay. You gotta love the child you got, not the child you want! Good luck!
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I mean, you presumably thought you both could do better than where she was based on what? And now your seeing the truth.
Make a contract to get working or out in 30days.
If they work setup a one yr lease, make them save to build a nest egg or pay you a certain amount and just save that over time. Then show them how much they could save over a yrs time give to em to there own place n tf out
Whats with the whole “we dont want to be mean” thing…?? Be mean if you have to! They are grown adults.
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I thought you were talking about the ex too yeah, she needs a dopamine booster, therapist and a job
I wouldn’t have moved them in ,in the first place 
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Let her get a sugar daddy! Shit I want one
Y’all need to stop enabling her!!
Show them these comments maybe they’ll feel ridiculous or at least embarrassed being that way at 21…
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time to grow up…
kick them out
they will learn pretty fast
He’s such a wonderful sugar daddy if they’re barely making it by 
I know I know, he’s not from the sugar daddy site and I’m reading it wrong, forgive me it’s Monday morning. Anyways…she’s an adult. You knew all of this ahead of time. Tell her straight up to straighten up and get gainful employment or a good paying sugar daddy (no shame) and get out.
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