just recently became a single mom and how do y’all deal with holidays? I’m torn up just thinking I not have her on Christmas morning.
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I have odd number years to have my son for holidays and his dad has even numbered years, so it’s an every other year thing with holidays, it is hard but it gets easier and more routine as the years go on
Im a single mom as well. When he did see them i would have them xmas morning and he would get them that evening…hes not in their lives currently
If you have a court order most major holidays would be split half and half. Every other year I get my kids Christmas morning then they go with their dad in the afternoon then the years I don’t have them in the morning their dad does and I get them in the afternoon.
Just do everything a day early with her. Have your own special Christmas Day on Christmas Eve. Santa can come early and you can get up and do presents.
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Start your own traditions with them… as long as you make it fun, they will love it. Maybe bake cookies and play Christmas music. Or do gifts, hot cocoa and cookies ya made and a Christmas movie. 
((((hugs))))
We did Christmas eve at our dad’s and Christmas morning we went back to moms. It was like having 2 Christmas mornings.
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me and my sister did Christmas Eve with my mom’s family and our dad picked us up at noon Christmas day
New traditions! Mom’s house Christmas eve! Then mom gets to sleep in, clean up from a fun Christmas eve dinner & presents before kids come home from dads. Then Christmas night dessert! Ice cream bar, cinnamon rolls or making cookies!
Split the day, half the day with you, half with him. One gets her for tea&presents, one gets her for breakfast & presents.
I always was at my moms where I lived until 3pm Christmas Day and then I came back home at 3 pm New Year’s Day.
It is hard its only happened once to me and it was the kids decision and I had to respect that. U do Christmas the day before is how my bff does it they rotate like you. Don’t beat yourself up make.plans don’t be sitting home crying we need to be strong. Xo
My kids dad and I alternate years. One year I have Christmas Eve and morning and he has Christmas Day then we switch the next year. I just make sure to have traditions we can do every year around the holidays and then the actual holiday is just family time so we don’t miss much.
It is so hard. But you learn to deal with it. My ex makes me drive 8 hours to take my child to him away from my family. So I spend every second Christmas totally alone. It is really hard. Big hugs to you Mamma.
Lean on family… if you’re like me and didn’t have much family then lean on friends. Either way don’t be alone.
I was lucky in the sense he didn’t care about Christmas morning like I do to have all my kids wake up together, I have her in the morning and she leaves every year at noon roughly sometimes earlier but I’d rather have that morning with her siblings she’s now 15 and we still do this. I would make it the last day you had her, everything the exact same you would for Christmas morning
We mediated and he had her on Christmas Eve and would bring her back late that night after his family celebrated. She would wake up at our home on Christmas morning and celebrate with us. Not ideal but it worked.
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We made new years day our Christmas when they were wirh their dad for Christmas. We had a big holiday meal and presents and everything. It worked great.
My kids dad’s have always had them Christmas Eve,and Christmas morning I get them to do presents and festivities at my house,and my mom’s house. But they spend chriwtmas nights at their own houses( they happen to live with dad right now,so they stay there) my youngest son’s father has nothing to do with him. So I have him to myself all holidays 
( and he lives with me)
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Are you and dad be cordial enough to do it together? At least open gifts then go about your days.
As a child of divorce, I assure you it’s hard and stressful for the child as well. Well into my adult years up until my parents died, I was always torn, and felt guilty over having to choose which one to spend holidays with. Broken families have life long repercussions. Try not to let your daughter sense your anxiety. Make it about her. She did not choose her family situation. Figure out ways to make her holidays enjoyable and have pleasant memories.
My kids left for a week at noon on Christmas day. I started cleaning up the house, taking the tree down and putting decorations up
Holidays are what you make them . My daughter and I have never done your “traditional” celebration. We do our own thing and create our own memories, whether it’s on the day or a special day we set up for it 
don’t stress .
Celebrate a different day. Make it work.
We split the day with my daughter every year; so one year I will have her Christmas eve into Christmas morning and he’ll pick her up for like 9am and have her for the rest of the day and night. Every year we alternate who gets which.
Do something Christmas Day before or after she’s home and on Christmas enjoy yourself do nothing or go for a long walk some self care use that day for you and your mental
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It can be hard for sure- this is your heart to start a new and exciting tradition! I grew up with divorced parents, we did Christmas Eve with mom and Christmas Day with dad.
I am now a split household as an adult. We celebrate Christmas Eve with my kiddo and she’s off Christmas Day with her dad (in another state!).
Enjoy your little break and you decide the day you want Xmas. Don’t allow dates to dictate your feelings mood or happiness. Xmas can be December 1 or January 1 Choose to be happy despite the norm create your new normal and cry when you need to and keep creating your new life. It worked great for me I love our life.
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It’s the absolute worst not having your kids on Christmas.
My ex and I switch every year. For example this year he has him Christmas Eve, and I’ll get my son Christmas Day. I hate the Christmas mornings my son doesn’t wake up at my house.
When the kids are little, and don’t know the date, make Christmas a completely different day. Pick a day around Christmas when you have the kids, do all the Christmas Eve things you would do, go to bed like it’s Christmas Eve and wake up the next morning like it’s Christmas. You just have to get creative to make it work the best for you.
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We all scream and cry and have panic attacks every day. Single or not.
Split the days and rotate yearly on mornings/afternoons if yall can
Ours switches every year. Whoever has her Christmas morning doesn’t have her for new years that year. Opposite the next year. Now that I have further children, they just get to open presents when she does.
As a dad, we treat it like any other day. Blessed and happy the days they are with us, and happy and blessed they are happy the days the are not. If we learn to stop the self pity and greed it becomes better for all parties. You can communicate better with the ex, helps anger and arguments and learn that being the best co parents to raise a respectful, happy, loved and open child is what matters. Stop the focus of a holiday. It all fact it’s just a day like every other that end in Y
It was hard at first for me but now I make Christmas Eve our Christmas since he gets them for Christmas Day. I usually request a few days off and I’ll make Christmas breakfast, make a special dinner, open presents, etc. My kids actually look forward to spending Christmas Eve with me because their dad doesn’t do anything for them. For example, he’s already told me that he’s just getting them Domino’s gift cards for Christmas 
You make your own traditions with your kids. Christmas Eve became our special night. All the cheesy holiday movies, favourite snacks, dips, cheeses, shrimp rings. Nothing big to cook so all my attention was with the kids. They loved it and we still try to do christmas eve now that they are in their 20’s. I know it’s heartbreaking, but a day is just a day. Your kids will remember the love and fun. Not which exact day it fell on.
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Every year my daughter goes to her days day after Xmas. I always have her Xmas eve. But thus is also court ordered
Toys for tots and Santa cops are programs in colorado.maybe your state has the same
You just deals with like it a regular day
Do Christmas another day. If he has her the ween of Christmas & you get the week of New Year’s Christmas is new years! Start your own traditions. You could do a gift every hour starting at a certain time until midnight. You can take advantage of all the after Christmas sales. The 25th is just a date. You can celebrate with your kid any day.
As a child I loved having 2 Christmases. We did Christmas Eve with dad & day with mom. The hardest part was the rush to go from opening gifts at dads Christmas morning then to moms. We did that year. IMO I’d rather him have her all day then bring her back the next day or a couple days later. At least she’d be able to play with her new stuff with Dad. Then do the same with you instead of rushing through it.
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It’s very hard. Not sure of the co-parenting situation for you but if that’s possible it helps. I didn’t have a very good coparent partner his idea was to remarry quickly and procreate more children he couldn’t afford. I worked a lot of overtime during the holidays to ensure they were took care of because they felt second to his second family
Buy things that are useful and meaningful! No junk toys, no seasonal items. One thing they really want and two things they need! Bake cookies, make ornaments. Make memories. Not financial burdens.
Christmas doesn’t have to be December 25th, it can be when you are together at your house.
Most states the parenting time guideline states either odd or even number years so basically its every other Christmas this is how it is in Indiana the non custodial gets odd years lol
I bred with a deadbeat who pretends his son doesnt exist…
Makes it nice and simple
You make Christmas when she is with you and use the actual day as any other day or special treat yourself day. While it’s hard especially those first couple holidays you adjust and learn your new normal.
I would like to say it gets easier but you just learn to adjust. It sucks and always will. We alternate every year and the first one was terrible to be honest. I got up and went to work just to not be home. I usually just try to keep myself busy and not home so I won’t think about it til they are back. It’s not as bad now, 7 years down the road. I’ve had 2 little girls and they keep me occupied but I know when they are a little older they won’t understand why their siblings isn’t home for Christmas 
We coparent pretty well so My ex has our kids from when school gets out until after dinner on Christmas eve and then they come home and I have them all day and night Christmas. This was a mutual decision since Christmas eve was always when we celebrated with his family and Christmas was always with mine. And the kids always believed that Santa came to my house with the gifts not dad’s. Other holidays suck to have to share or miss all together but we make it work. One parent gets Easter morning and the other after lunch, Thanksgiving is with one or the other, new years he never cared they wanted to stay home so that wasn’t ever an issue.
Why wouldn’t you have them on Christmas eve and Christmas day?? If they live with you most I would keep them home for the first year and dad can have them next year. And i would just alternate. In the years he gets them on the actual holiday I would do Christmas at your home on a different day. They won’t mind.
Toys for tots apply now they are open!
How old is the child? Honestly if the child is 5/6 and under… they are a bit more simple to please. If you buy cheap toys typically found at dollar store as long as you can also be involved (little fruits/cash register) can go a long way…. If you also buy 50cent white poster board you can create a “menu” and add more excitement. Playdoh is cheap and exciting for preschool-kinder age. Bath fizz tablets are sold at dollar tree for $1 and have fun character on them and young children typically get excited off of that…. My experience is mainly with young kiddos as you can see… hope that helped.
I’ve spent so many Christmases alone. You get used to it after a few years. Cried the first year. But after that I just started hating Christmas
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Buy little things starting now and hide them until then. when you see something on sale grab it. Do after pay payments online……
We settled in mediation so that my daughter is with her dad on Christmas Eve and with me on Christmas Day so that way we don’t have to do the every other year thing and we both get her every year for Christmas
I love doing all the traditions more so than I think his dad does. For example, Santa. In mediation I requested my favorites, every Halloween & every Christmas Eve/Morning. But gave up every single 4th of July and every NYE. My son & I celebrate those holidays on different days. Everything else is split. It’s been almost 14 years and it works for us. It’s not always been easy. I wouldn’t say when I miss out on something it gets easier, but you just get use to it. Definitely surround yourself with family and friends. You’ve got this.
I went to the local bar. They were serving a buffet and I have never had so many drinks bought for me in one visit. I started taking them in drink chips to use later. Lots of people struggle on the holidays.
I bought all the gifts but sent them over to his place with the kids and then picked up an extra shift at work. At the end of the day, it shouldn’t matter who they’re with. As long as they’re happy and safe.
Do you not have her every Christmas morning, or do you alternate with your ex? Maybe make your tradition that you open presents on Christmas eve. I had full custody, so my parents came over Christmas eve, Santa came on Christmas morning, then he went to his dad’s around 11am. Luckily we had a very friendly arrangement and sometimes I even went over with him to his dad’s. Honestly my mother was the biggest obstacle, she wanted to come over Christmas eve morning and stay for 2 days!