She is only 3, I highly dought that she is noticing differences. You seem to be the one that is feeling the differences. Maybe grow up and stop with the my parents love them more than me(mine).
My dad does this with my older sister n my nephew. My sister is about to be 25 n my Nephew is 6. I ask my dad if he would like to video chat my 3 kids or if he wants photos and my dad leaves me on seen. I have cut my dad out of my life and my kids life because he wasn’t there in the beginning so he won’t be at all. Water is thicker then blood. My kids are 3 going on 4 in October, 2 going on 3 in February, and my youngest just turned 1 in July he’s seen my youngest once when I went to my home town. That was the last I talked to my dad so I’d honestly say just cut all ties
I have this situation myself
I have tried to express how unfair my mil can be but she couldn’t care less
to be honest its not favoritism its just that the other child is just not so hyperactive and they can keep up with the next child than your child training starts at home maybe they can’t handle your child for a long period and only could handle the next child.
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They may not be able to keep up with her. Go with her to provide support.
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I’m getting a sense that maybe they don’t like the way u raise her. Like how you correct her and make her listen. They may not feel like they can do what you do in those situations and they don’t want to do it their way because she won’t respond well. Do ur parents say things about her actions? Do they try to do things their way when ur there? This maybe why they are not jumping at the chance.
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I have two grand and three great grand children ,my grand children are 25 and 16 and both have been needy as far as attention but we have been attentive to both of them ,maybe because of their age difference .our great grand children are 8, 7, and 3 we try to spend time with them as much as possible and we try to be equal as far as gifts ,the 7 yo has autism and requires more attention from everyone than the 8 yo helps with him ,to me it’s great she helps with him all the time ,but we all try to show her how much everyone appreciate her help with her brother , the 3 yo is a momms boy and clings to his mother more than he should so we don’t get to see you much time with him but we all try .
I’ve stopped bothering. It was affecting me so bad, but now my 6 year old asks why grandad doesn’t reply to her messages or call her. (She has her own phone because she recently went away for 2 weeks with her dad and I wanted her to feel like she could message me whenever she wanted) but I hear all the time that my stepsister and her daughter have been over, they’ve been to see them. They took her on holiday.
my mum and stepdad on the other hand both have medical conditions which make it hard to look after my children see them at least once a week.
When you ask, do you say can we come and see you or do you say can … come see you? Maybe you being there would take the strain off
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My grandma told everyone I’m her favorite and they all Learned eventually to get over it! Tell them the truth, it’s not always rainbows and unicorns! Some people just click different, including family💯
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Your baby is going to find out sooner or later that your parents are like that. Let her know gently somehow, that she will have better people in her life to spend time with, rather than negative people (family or not) that prefer not to be around you.
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There is no way to fix this issues.
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It’s not favoritism at all . Have you considered the other child is better behaved ? Not hyperactive ? . Have you once taken into consideration your parents age ? If your daughter wants to see them go with her and control her so they don’t have to . It’s hard on grandparents to handle a hyper child . Maybe be proactive and see things from their point of view . Put yourself in their shoes . One day you’ll be older , age waits for no one and you won’t want to have to watch a hyperactive child either … it’s extremely stressful and draining .
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Try putting yourself in their shoes. They probably can’t keep up with your active child. If your child wants to see them, go with them. Don’t leave the child with them.
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Idk but I do when u want to call someone out about something they’re doing its best to do it one on one so no one feels embarrassed and acts out bcuz u embarrassed them so pull them aside one by one and mention ur frustrations
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Befriend some older/other grandparent figures and visit them. 💁
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My Children were always treated differently from My Sisters Children. I believe because My Children were because of My Married Name which is Spanish. My Sisters married white men?
Christmas was the worst. My Children were a after thought in regards to present 
Happens so often. I’d just tell my child that they are not nice people and selfish and we better off without. Stand up to these people! Point out their BS. If they dont change walk away.
As a grandmother of 5, I think it’s terrible and you should confront them.
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If she is ADHD get her some meds… I’ve got 2 who take the meds and it’s made all the difference… I would not take my child to my parents if they treated her diff then the other one and my child was asking why… If ur worried about a family upset I’d avoid family as it seems to be toxic to u and ur girl…tough call…
I would suggest you look at shorter visits or going with your child. I am sure they love her but they probably cannot keep up with her needs.
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Alot of these answers really make me sad for all the hyperactive children whose extended families don’t want to deal with them. They will grow up believing that something is wrong with them because no one wanted to be there.
So sad. 
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I used to have this of my in laws… when approach the subject… their explanation was… that I or we was doing a fantastic job of bring our children up… they went to the park , was clothed & fed well and they had days out and holidays away… They knew our kids were well looked after but they thought it would be better to give that too my brother in laws kids as they went with out… shame really to you see it through another person’s eyes…
I think in these situations honesty is the best policy sit dwn and tell you’re parents how you are feeling, holding it in will make the situation worse but it’s works both ways. it’s got nothing to do with how hyper she is especially if she may have ADHD that’s not the child’s fault and doesn’t deserve to be treated differently either way it’s still there grandchild they could always come to Ure house if it’s easier or meet outside on a park where she’s more free to play there are ways around it. As for how you discipline Ure daughter that’s yours business no one else’s they should be supporting you in how you raise her not against .
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It’s a horrible feeling as a parent for you’re child to want you’re parent and it not feel like they have no interest, my daughters adhd assessment is on 14th September, ive ended up booking her private for it doing because camhs are so busy, (child mental health service that diagnose adhd), I definitely feel like my daughter is treat different to every other single family member in my whole family, I’m lucky if she sees my dads side once a year, but I’m ok with that because I’ll never be the only one to call & beg for contact for her if she wants contact she’ll mention it, I’d rather they be absent than in & out of her life confusing her, if u get what I mean, like I’d rather they be there but if not then this way is best, with adhd her little life is already confusing enough, she’s a very confusing little girl, it’s taken me a long time to see it that way though, she’s 7 at the end of the month, you do what you have to do to protect you’re daughters feelings and save her been hurt, if that means more time with her other grandparents or a girly day once a month then so be it, forget about family rifts I know all about them, Been there done that and constant contact lasted about 3 months once speaking again n bk to been absent unless need be, what about you’re 3 year old BABYS feelings…? Just cut ur losses n walk away, relationships take effort from both sides, maybe you’re absence might be a wake up call to them…?
Adhd or not every child at 3 is wildly energetic, no way is you’re nephew not running them ragged too…
Cheer up xx
Unfortunately having a lot of energy takes a lot of energy…. Her cousin may be very calm and easygoing. I wouldn’t try to take it personally, because it may be a maturity thing. I would express that you want them to see her more, but I wouldn’t push for them to take her if she is a handful
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It’s only not fair not to know both points of view. You are here saying how you feel but that’s your perception of things. In every family there is always a sibling that feels that parents love him/her less, or a grandchild or a cousin… If you have more children you know you love them all the same, in their own way, and if you don’t have more children, well, one day you may have grandchildren. Don’t judge your parents.
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Honestly. Children are children. There should be no favorites. It should ALWAYS be fair. No child should have to wonder why they aren’t good enough. I understand she may be a bit much to handle but that’s no excuse. They could still carve time out more than once a month to make her feel special too. Take her to the park and run that energy off or something. You don’t take one kid out to ice cream a couple times a week and leave the other at home because they can’t have sugar. You figure out a way to make it fair. Take the other to do something else or something. Theres no excuse to have one 3 year old a few times a week and not the other. They need to step up. Figure out some ways to entertain her or something because she needs time with her grandparents too and they need to put more of an effort into trying. My son is very hyperactive and my gma(who has COPD and is 74 years old) takes him overnight every other week. They are best friends and even tho it’s hard on her sometimes she always finds a way to spend time with him and keep him busy. Sounds like your grandparents are just making excuses.
During this covid thing I used the mail to send stuff and letters and piics to youngest ones and they loved getting their own mail… If they can’t treat them equally then I’d not allow her back or go to their home…
I have no advice really, but im in the same situation, out of 3 grandchildren, my son gets the least amount of time with his nanny and grandad. My sisters 2 are always round there as they live round the corner.
To be honest, Ivw given up trying to force it 
As a parent of a hyperactive child, I find some of these comments disgusting! I would cut my losses with them and move on! You and your child don’t need that, grandchildren should ALL be treated the same whether they are hyper or not. X
Nah fuck them. Cut them off.
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Go with her to visit and you watch your child while there.
I’m sorry to hear that , that is wrong you know , all grand children should be treated fairly and no favouritism , grandmothers should know that , that can happen to children’s as well were their parents have favourites , the mental and emotional impact that can cause can be serious physiologically , if grans and parents will do that to their grandkids and children , why have more kids , just have one child so that there will be only one child and grandkids to put all their focus and attention and no other children’s can be hurt bcoz of unfairness , it is really sad when a grown up lack the emotional empathy but in the presence of ignorance to know better . As a child’s parent and your child’s grand parents , it’s just right that you need to make them aware of what exactly is going on , whether they are consciously aware or not they need to step up and do something with it . Grandparents are heading to from getting old and the grand children’s are going to become an adult , sometimes the outcast is the caring one and the one who love and will look after their grandparents , grand parents don’t know who among all their grandkids will stick by them at old age so better love , care and give attention fairly to all of their grand children’s and their own children’s too who are parents themselves so that when you love and care for their kids they will return it to you too , life is a bitch , what goes around , comes around , what goes up must come down , it’s a circle of life
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I just cant imagine a grandparent not wanting to see their grandchildren
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I have 7 grand kids, my oldest grandson was a handful when he was little, full on adventure. Going a mile a minute. He is 22 now, I am 62. There is no way I could keep up with the likes of him now. He has a much younger brother whom I watched for maybe an hour…wow, age really changes people. Love all my grandkids the same, just can’t be the same. Sorry. I had to explain this to my kids, as they where accusing me of favorites. I just had to laugh. It’s age guys I am no spring chicken. Now so have a new grandbaby she will be 1 years old in a few days…sorry to say, but probably will never watch her…
I would invite them out more or just turn up for a cuppa more with your child so they can start to build up a family bond. It could just be that the other grandkids parents spend alot of time with the grandparents so naturally they see their kids more and are more bonded. When I was little my nan was always with my cousins, throwing them party’s, taking them on days out etc n if I went round I was put in garden cos I was such a handful haha but then we also moved away. My mum always encouraged me to speak to my nan and tell her about what I’d been up to when she would phone my nan weekly, and we would do family visits, my bond with my nan became stronger and I invited myself to stay a little bit in school holidays… then being a teenager I took it up on myself to visit my nan for cuppas and what not now I’m a adult we’re unseperatble and I’m the only grand kid that’s makes an effort with her… I’m known as the favourite but tbh if the others took it upon themselves to call in she would treat them just the same. I think when I was little obvious my mum didn’t want to dump her kids on her (her siblings on the other hand we’re more forceful about needing them to look after their kids while they worked or what not) but I also think my nan didn’t want to intrude on family so I think some grandparents just sit back and let the family come to them to form the bond. That just my experience anyway lol
Maybe say you have noticed a difference and if there is a problem to be honest. Explain you daughter enjoys her visits. Then Keep any visits short and be there with her. Build on that?
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Are you Chinese decent ?
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My children get treated so different to my sisters children as well and it’s absolutely disgusting but I’m now no longer willing to push this as it’s their grandparents loss and I make sure my kids know this.
I think your child being hyperactive is no excuse for avoiding her or treating her different. I have dealt with the feelings of rejection and believe me it is everything but fun. I would confront them. Try talk to them from the child point of view how she ask for them and want to be around them more often. Maybe u can go with her once a week for an hour and stay with her. U have to try this out for her. If it doesn’t work out u have tried ur best.
Reading through some of the comments makes me feel so sad. This is not oke. Your parents are grown ups and should know better.
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It’s not favouritism when you know the problem. Not sure what else to say.
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Well behaved children are a joy to be around. No one likes being around a child that “keeps you on your toes”.
Her behavior and personality make her not as lovable as her cousin.
Deal.
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Try and have a word with your nephews mam dad and tell them how u feel cause its not nice and your little girl might pick up on this I no she’s only 3 but they no or if that was me I would go to there house a few times aweek I think every 3 year old has loads of energy I no its awfull but they might not think they doing it its not fair on your little girl but try and have a word and sort it out as its your little girl who’s missing out
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Some of these comments make me sad. She is 3yrs old. Her cousin is 3yrs old. Regardless of her being ‘hyperactive’ they should split their love and time equally, because I bet her cousin has moments too. I have a 3yr old and she can be a little whirlwind, but she’s such a loving and kind little soul and anybody who can’t be bothered with her is missing out. I would have to mention it to your parents and if nothing changes, their loss. It’s so sad that people can treat their loved ones so differently! 
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I don’t have grandkids yet…I will be her surrogate grandma…
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I’ve seen this situation change with age, they will be closer to him when he’s five and has more things to talk about and a little less hectic. Some children are just overwhelming for some people in my opinion
I know how u feel:100: ive got 5 kids (18,12,14,2 & my lg is 4 months) & my mother doesnt bother with any of them. She actually has 7 grankids & only really bothers with one of them 24/7 & buys her everything. I just say to myself f**k it. Its there loss:100: not that i want it to happen anytime soon as im only 34 but i cant wait to become a nanna to show her excatly how its done:100: my mum isnt old either & has a 9yr old herself so ud think she would want her grankids around:roll_eyes:
I hate that this is happening…
Some may say having a hi energy child or a child with ADHD or whatever behavior is no excuse but it is 🤷
Your nephew may have less energy and a different behavior than your child.
Some folks dont have the energy or patience or mental capacity to deal with kids that have ADHD,hi energy or whatever behavior…
Your parents just told you why they dont keep your child.
Im sure they’d love to but cant handle your child…
I use to work with adults & kids that have behavior issues and I know folks who have kids that have behavior issues and it aint no walk in the park.
Maybe you can ask your parents what will it take for them to have more visits with your child instead of coming to them with the favortism issue and dont confront your nephew parents either.
Maybe they can come visit her or you can go on the visits with her.
I wish you and your child the best 
My partners mum hasnt even met our 7 month old daughter and she goes to his sisters, which is 2 mins drive away, once a week, has her kids often etc. It angers and upsets us at times but if she isn’t interested, we dont need her. I would be thankful that they bother at all tbh.
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Heather Paterson it’s not just our family then
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I went through a similar situation. My niece was always treated differently then my kids. I took a lot because I attributed it to I have two and she is just one. I finally just blurted it out though. Things have been better since.
I know your pain 
. There’s nothing you can do. Its their loss as your little girl gets older you can explain the situation to her xxx
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I always told them that if they take one, they have to take the other, or no one goes.
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Karma gets everyone.
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As a mum to an autistic child myself. I know it can be difficult for family, they just don’t understand how to deal with the behaviours and it scares them off. However, the child shouldnt be treat any differently to the others from family. Its so wrong of family to do this, don’t they think about how the parents need more support. I would personally walk away from them.and say " sorry we are busy" when they want to see the child
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I know the feeling.
My daughter asked us one Christmas, she was about 11 or 12, ( not a baby but still a child) why her 2 younger cousins got x amount of gifts and she got 3 from her grandparents.
Then she was told , by the grandmother, that the others were favored cause they didn’t have as good a daddy as she did. True but not a valid reason to a child.
It’s hard, especially when they deny showing favoritism…
Okay maybe I’m being soft on the grandparents here but maybe they don’t have the confidence in dealing with your child if she keeps them on there toes and has additional needs? Have you offered to go over with your daughter so they aren’t alone with her at the beginning so they build up the confidence to do so? Say that your daughter really misses them and wants to see them, but reassure that you will be present just in case x
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I would be talking to them outright. I don’t care about a family rift. They’re supposed to be your parents, they’re supposed to support you-thats the first step. Second step- thats my baby that you are making sad, you’re isolating from family time and being outright bullies. To a three year old! I want my baby to grow up feeling supported and loved, not ignored and treat like a stranger. I don’t care what type of personality/disability they have. ANYTHING can be worked around to make everyone have an enjoyable experience. They are grand parents. And its about time they acted like it.
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A would just tell them to get lost u and Ur son deserve better xx
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Have you tried, mum dad would you come to the zoo with us? Instead of going to their house.
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I would cut them off. No explanation, no warning. Protecting my child’s mental health is better than ALLOWING them to be treated as less than just because they have additional needs!!
I’m sorry about the comments to do with your child’s needs. All these women commenting badly about children with additional needs are pure scum and little keyboard warriors who would get their head rocked if they said this to any mother of children who are disabled or with additional needs in person. Don’t listen to them
do not worry things will change has she gets older boys tend to want to do more things.
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Why don’t you take a couple of her favourite toys when you visit and get her a small surprise like bubbles when you leave their house, hope everything works out for you.
I would sit back and wait she is still very young and those tables could change invite your parents to dinner once a week that way your parents are getting to see her in her own environment and maybe not getting over excited to see them this will allow them to make a better bond hope things work out for you all
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As a mother to autistic child some of these comments are shocking.
If a child has adhd or autism this is not something that “starts at home” their behaviour is not the parents fault ? And to one of the comments above - you DO NOT love them any less.
I’m quite lucky as my parents are older and my daughter does keep you on your toes but they are ok with that because they love her - they just adapt the activity to her disability and what they can handle.
I would suggest talking to them, tell them how your feeling and come up with a resolution together for your daughters sake, maybe go out all together as a group, like a day trip to the zoo? or make play dates with her cousin over there.
I hope you get resolved 
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Been here and in the end we just stopped making the first move. Days, weeks then months would go by without so much as a text asking about the kids. In the end we cut contact, the kids knew they didn’t make an effort to see them. I have a daughter who has SEN and her ‘grandad’ told her he was going to cut her head off with a chainsaw if she didn’t shut up. Her ‘grandma’ said it’s fine we all know how he behaves. That behaviour isn’t ok and I cut contact. Best thing we have done.
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Why would u even want that negatively in your child’s life lol. If someone treated my child like that including my parents I wouldn’t want them seeing them PERIOD.
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My mum always favoured my sister and her daughter I just kept quite it’s not worth falling out over everyone knows where they stands.I used too catch2buses with 3children my sister lived across the road so they where in each others pockets but my sister move miles away but it didn’t make any difference my children didn’t get any Christmas or birthday cards or presents but my niece did but my children grew up to live with it and it hasn’t bothered them as I hope it will not bother your children if you don’t make a big issue of it and they will learn from it
Wow some of these comments are shocking! A hyperactive child shouldn’t be made to feel different by a grandparent. It damages a child’s self esteem etc even without adhd. Adhd is usually diagnosed around 7-8yo. My eldest was diagnosed late at 12 bc I had to fight his primary school. If it were my parents I’d sit down & discuss how I felt I’d either stay with daughter for visits & if they still say no, I would make it clear how I felt then if nothing changes I would avoid grandparents (even my own parents). I know my parents treat their grandchildren all equal & it’s how they raised me to be. I have experienced this with the exs parents, they treated my youngest son different to my eldest as eldest wasn’t blood then along came my daughter but they treated my son & daughter completely different bc the exs mother preferred boys over girls & they are both blood. I used to tell my ex have a word with his mother about her actions on treating them different but it would cause arguments & cutting them off for a few months then after the separation they tried say in courts I was a routine military mother lol I have one grandaughter age 2, who I treat the same as my two youngest children. It’s up to the grandparents to suggest ways of including their grandaughter more & help you find a solution for this issue.
Maybe you should stay there and help the grandparents if you dont. That way they aren’t alone during those times when shes a lot to handle. And have a convo with your parents and let them know what that baby has asked and how shes feeling about not seeing them. Maybe they dont realize that shes as aware as she is and that shes feeling hurt.
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That’s aweful just tell them what there doing playing favouritism is wrong you should not have to ask if they want to see there grandchild you should not have to be the one to chase them to see your child and your not doing it anymore if they don’t step up then they need to stay away as your not chasing them they should want to see your child without having to push them so enough is enough step up or don’t bother as your not forcing it again
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My advice is to allow your parents to think and feel and behave as they do. None of us are required to do differently.
Good luck I say! I have a grandparent that has had their favourites for years even to the point my kids ask why do they love them more? Its fucked
I am disabled and can’t lift, but my grandson who is ADD is nearly half my size and is into stuff all the time. He doesn’t respond to positive or negative reinforcement and after he’s with me, it takes days to recoup physically and mentally. I love him so dearly, but he will not behave, tears stuff up and I cannot deal with that at my age and abilities. He is 12 and throws fits. Of all my 10 grandkids and 4 great grandkids, I can’t deal with him alone. It’s just the way it is. If my daughter wants to visit, she has to stay and care for him. I watched 8 of my grandkids at one time and they like all activities and games and no problems. I can’t care for the youngest, as he has always been big and can’t lift him (back surgery and arthritis), but the others helped with him. My grandson is so loving and sweet, but when he doesn’t get his way, he also hits or shoves the others. I don’t spank or scream, but he brings out my worst when he goes into one of his destructive whims. I don’t favor the others, I just can’t do all I used to be able to do and he won’t listen when he wants his way.
I wouldn’t approach it. I wouldn’t even ask them. Thier loss
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You can’t say the wrong thing to the right person. If they are open to listen explain your daughter asks to see them all the time and you want her to create memories and have a great bond with them and it’s hard to see your nephew there all the time when you can’t explain that to your child. I wouldn’t use strong terms like favourites just more about the bond and time spent. If they don’t respond or take action on it its their loss.
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All my kids life I dealt with that. I have a disabled sin and my ex mother n law would keep my daughter but not my son. She would also send my daughters things in tbe mail etc. I finally put a huge stop to that!! Just be careful because a 3 yr old doesn’t know to not love… Talk to the grma abd grpa 1st
My parents are 76 and 67. Every Wednesday they show up at my daycare and pick up my 1.5 year old grandson which is their great grandson. They take him home for 4-5 hours. Like clockwork they make time. If they wanted to spend time with her they would. They would ask for tips or strategies on how to handle her when she becomes a bit too much. Something is better than nothing.
Sorry to say if this was me I would keep my child and myself away from them if this kept happening as she got older she would notice and this would hurt morr
I had one child and she and her husband decided children were too much trouble, I would give anything to have have a granddaughter.
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Not sure if it different with your own family. But my family we never had to ask. Just call at their house. X
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How do I approach my parents about them favoring a grandchild? - Mamas Uncut
If they are your parents, you should have no problem asking them WTF. Stand up for your kid. Put them in their place.
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If they’re older and have trouble handling her you can’t be mad and think they favor one child over the other. The other child might just be easier for them to handle. Rather than asking them to take her why not go spend time with them together so that she can see them more often and they can get more comfortable with her?
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Its 2021. Were causing rifts. These babies deserve their family. Speak up.
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Maybe they feel you aren’t disciplining your child enough and maybe they truly can’t handle her. By what you said, she does seem to be more difficult than the nephew🤷♀️
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Go with your daughter and be the one to chase her around when needed, etc. They are older and might not be able to keep up.
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My daughter asked why her picture was removed from her grandparents fridge and all the other grandkids are proudly displayed, I had no good answer for that, so I know your struggles.
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Just let them!! It all equals out and the more you push the more they will favor. I kinda think it’s natural. My parents do it. Plus sometimes I think we as parents over react. We don’t see how they chose to love kids differently. In today’s world everyone acts like everything has to be equal and even but honestly in the adult world is life really equal and even. Character building. It’s all in the outlook.
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Shoot I wouldn’t stand for it, they should all be treated the same im going thru that now I just don’t let my baby get hurt and I let her know that even though she is their grandchild all of them should be treated accordingly.
As a Mama to an ADHD kid- she’s just probably too much for them to handle. They are older after all. A rambunctious kid might be too exhausting for them . Why not go WITH her to spend time with them ? That way they can just be grandparents and you can parent her if needed.
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Maybe they aren’t favoring the other child because he’s their favorite, but you’re daughter may be too much for them to take on at one time. I wouldn’t take that part personally…I can understand how you would feel that it is favoritism but it doesn’t mean they don’t love your daughter any less than the other child. But also, if they spent more time with her, she may not be so rambunctious around them.
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Fuck that! Cause that rift. Your daughter either needs to be treated equal or not at all. You must not teach her it’s ok to accept scraps of attention.
As one of the grandchildren who WASN’T the favorite I can promise a few things… If she doesn’t already understand, she will. You will in NO WAY be looked at as the bad one here, even kids are smart enough to know who wants them around. She’ll eventually stop asking, and believe her if she says she doesn’t want contact with your parents, and finally… I promise she loves you for trying anyway.
Don’t be afraid to start a family rift Mama. Our babies are fragile, so we can’t be.
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If we don’t stand up for our children, then who will?
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I feel for you mama as I go out of my way to try and be fair and inclusive to all my grandkids, some are very hard and difficult but I just ask mama to come along but stay in the background til I have a situation
They should still be wanting to spend time with her no matter how high strung she may be. Even if they couldn’t keep up with her they should ask you to be there so they could still spend time with her. It’s just wrong.
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Maybe you should go over there for some hours. So she can still get their love, but they will also have you there too, since shes so active
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I’m sorry, I know how this can feel. My older child has always been so calm and easy to handle, whereas my middle ( who was my baby for 5 years ) is my little adhd twin. And now I have a one year old who is also hard to handle ( although easier than my middle was at tHt age ) but I have one side of his family who favors the older quite a bit and always try to pass it off as them “helping me out” by taking the older one.
They are my biological side, and they do have health issues and have never been super hands on while the kids were young, and I understand the exhaustion factor but I feel bad that one day my middle little might notice it. So basically, I just don’t allow it to happen any more. Maybe once or twice every 6-8 months do I let my older go, and then if they want to see any of the kids we go over together now. It definitely caused a bit of a rift but now I make sure that if they are around all of my children get equal attention
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