My daughter who is 13 knows that if she brings home f on report card to ask her teacher for that class if she can do extra credit to bring her grade up especially if it’s because she wasn’t paying attention and so forth. She knows that if she fails that her friends will be a grade ahead. She always brings those grades up. Take the phone/computer/tablet away until she gets some motivation
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If she doesn’t graduate now, it’s not the worst thing in the world. I know people who didn’t graduate who have gone on to have amazing careers and people who studied for years and work in cafes.
Don’t pressure her. School is just not for her right now. She sounds like she may be a little bit depressed. No motivation is a big sign.
Ask her what interests her or what she wants to do and roll with that. Teenagers go through phases and while most of us parents don’t often agree, we have to pick and choose our battles. Weigh up what the pressure would do vs her actually graduating? Some teens just don’t “do” school.
Find something else to filter her energy. Good luck mum.
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I would definitely get her looked at for depression. After you said a car was bought and it did nothing…
I feel that she is depressed. Clinical depression is more than just put a happy face on and cry in the bathroom for five minutes.
It’s a lot ore than that. I am not saying she has that.
But I do.
And when I’m hard to move… it’s rearing it’s ugly head. I feel numb. I think you have gone about this the right ways Mom.
Also, the online stuff she could be hiding stuff from you on there.
I’d check that.
Why would you buy a failing student a car?
The issue isn’t her it’s how she’s being raised
Why have motivation to achieve anything if everything is handed to you?
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Start taking away privileges until grades get better. No spending time with friends. No cell phone.
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Get her in counseling somethings going on with her.
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Counseling. She sounds like she’s dealing with depression. So many red flags. Please talk to her doctor.
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I think she needs help, not punishment. She’s bipolar. Maybe in a depressive episode. Maybe worse. I remember when I was that age, self harming and wanting to unalive myself, and everyone just yelling at me to do more and to do better did NOT help. It just made me feel more worthless. Took awhile for anyone to notice or do anything about it. And only cuz the school called them and told them about that teachers were concerned.
So yeah, counseling would be one of my suggestions. Or, I dunno, maybe try talking to her about how she’s doing, if she’s okay, or needs help with anything …or both… 
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She needs help and with that no phone or online distractions so she can get the help. We need to work on this then we can have distractions after this is done. Good luck!
Take away all of her online things until she starts getting bettee
Take the internet away other then for school
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That’s everything that points to depression. You should ask why she is connecting better with people online more than you. You really need to have a sit down with her and figure out what is going on, then start fixing the problems one a time. Be prepared to change her schools, talk to administration and really go to bat for her. If she’s too far behind she’ll never catch up and have to go the GED route.
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1st thing came to mind was you’ll get your privileges back when all grades are up. Who rewardS bad grades ?
Um focus FULLY on her mental health first and foremost before any school work, she can always make it up and graduate later but putting her mental health as a priority off or not recognizing all the things you’ve stated have changed but you want her to get a job? That is not going to help a teen with mental health issues. If she’s not getting treatment that you feel is helping her try other outlets, the first counselor or psychiatrist are not always a fit, it is trial and error. But if you push on the other shit I assure you it will help her none and cause tons more time and heartbreak and headache than if you focus on her mental health. That is number one always!
Take her back to the 80’s. No phone, no internet, & ground her.
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I’m bipolar, and school has always been extremely difficult for me. Can they accommodate her in any way? My high school let me use my first 3 periods as free periods / “late arrival” so I was able to go into school for my classes later on in the day. If that didn’t happen I never would have graduated.
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I took everything away from my daughter until she had her grades up. Anything that’s not a must have gets locked up. No access to any t.v.'s, computers, internet, phones, etc… Only books, clothes, furniture, bedding, paper and pen allowed in bedroom… Then after the grades are up to a C-, she can earn things back slowly such as earns an hour for Saturday, of internet time on whatever for each C- or above she earns. Then if she can keep her grades up she can earn more back… It’s what we do and have done with all 6 of our kids, even the ones that aren’t disabled…
Therapy medical eval, does she have an undiagnosed learning disability, depression? How about friends, does she have any and do they struggle with same issues? Help her feel valued. You need professional help to figure it out. What do her teachers say? School guidance counselor? Dont give up.
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Take away her phone 
she has to earn it why buy her a car. Don’t condone and encourage her lack of motivation by buying her a car. Sports team encourage her to play sport that she enjoys. Outside activities maybe the key.
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And make sure she gets her depo-provera regularly.
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I would get her into to see a therapist. Sounds like she is dealing with depression.
Why the fuck are you so lovingly focused on punishment instead of actually talking to your kid? There’s a pandemic that showed her since the age of 13-14 that her schooling didn’t matter, that her life didn’t matter, and that the adults around her failed her, o-fucking-course she won’t want to do shit anymore. Get her into counseling for a consult and actually sit down and see things from your kid’s perspective.
Speaking as someone that struggled with a bipolar diagnoses since 14 and rarely went to school my sophomore and junior year, talk to her therapist and psychiatrist. I am assuming she has one since you stated she is on meds. They may refer her to a program similar to what I had done. The program was very strict and year round but it offered schooling, and treatment. The students would meet with a therapist/psychiatrist once a week. There were group counseling sessions and all phones/distractions were taken at the start of the day and returned after. She may even need to go to a psychward for 2 weeks to focus her on her treatment and herself. She’ll be mad at you for a long time but she’s manic and going through a low right now of depression.
Have you taken her to psychiatry and had her evaluated for things such as ADD, dyslexia, And other things? Evaluated for things such as depression and anxiety. Things that interfere with ability to perform. I would start with your school district social worker and ask them how to go about getting her tested. Don’t let her suffer if it’s something that can be helped
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Check if there is any help through the Guidance department of her school, or go to a child psychologist for help to see if there are any concerns or to get help.
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I’m sorry. My child would NOT have a choice. She better get her ass up and do it! My mother didn’t let me be lazy and sure didn’t let me slack off… Not happening in my house! I’m sorry! My kids will be getting jobs and learning the importance of growing up. These. Kids now a days are being lazy! And I’m sorry but a lot of parents instigate it by not doing anything about it… unless you want a 40 year old “child adult” living with you… you have to put your foot down and do something about it
I agree with so many of the techniques suggest and will offer one other idea. Get her involved in the arts. Visual, musical, drama, dance or other. She’s not a traditional student. Borderline students will often graduate because the arts keep them interested enough. As a non-traditional student I knew the arts kept me going. I became an art teacher & taught for almost 30 years and really grew as a productive citizen.
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Sounds to me like she may have something else going besides the Bipolar. You may want to contact her psychologist/psychiatrist and make an appointment to see if she is possibly suffering from depression or something that will cause her to be less motivated. Buying her a car and trying to force her to get a job is not the answer. She needs additional assistance with her mental health. Instead of buying her big gifts like cars, threaten to take away her phone and internet access unless she brings her grades up, and give her a deadline for it. For example: After talking with her guidance counselor, you should let her know that if she does not graduate on time, then she will be required to move out, get a job, and get her own place and that you and her father will not be helping her with anything. But most importantly, be consistent. You and Dad have to be on the same page and consistent. It doesn’t sound like she’s ever suffered any consequences from her negative behavior and actions.
Have her come home from school to a yummy snack - then do her homework right away when he blood sugar is up.
It almost sounds like she is struggling with depression - LOVE ON HER - spend one on one time with her as often as you can <3
Maybe consider getting her involved in a good church Youth Group nearby - teens at the age are very influenced by peers 
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I would seek help for her sounds like depression
Take her to a third world country when school is out and let her learn how good she has it.
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It sounds like she may have an undiagnosed learning disability or possibly even ASD. I’d check into having some testing done for some of those things
My daughter is bipolar and doesn’t drive yet. She did graduate. Just know that social situations are very hard for these kids and try to get her all the help you can. It’s a tough road but it can be done.
My 22 Year old brother is STILL JUST LIKE THIS!!! Kids now a days DO NOT have the MOTIVATION or WANT to do ANYTHING sadly
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Cut off the internet. Bums dont have internet or phones. If that is what she wants to be,then she needs to get used to that early. Nothing but necessities…food,water electricity…until grades go up.
I agree with a learning or mental disorder. So many have overlapping characteristics. I also suggest taking her somewhere to get evaluated. If she is diagnosed and put on medication and therapy, it could really change the quality of her life. Also, ADHD is often overlooked in females. It’s commonly known as a male issue, we just show signs in other ways.
Well I would start her a budget around the house example
Rent 100 a month
Electric 25 a month
Food 25 a month
Laundry 10 a month
That was just a example but now be firm with her on this .then don’t tell her what your doing with this money ok but what you do with it is put it in a savings account that she can’t touch for 10 years or so when shit really hits the fan .just an i dea but no matter what stick it if she don’t pay the laundry then she can’t use your washer .period give her some tough love .its going to hurt you more than her but it may just be what she needs .but you must be fair and put it down on paper whats expected of herald if she’s running short on her money to pay give her odd jobs around the house
please don’t compare the 2 daughters … sounds like underlying medical needs have her checked out ASD sounds alot like this, and if so needs to be directed to do things one at a time
Sounds like her meds need to be adjusted, and you need to shut off the internet and collect her phone for part of the day, until her grades improve. A few hours off that phone will do her social skills a world of good.