How Do I Approach This

This question was submitted to our community via our Facebook page and/or our Answers forum. Responses are also taken from the community. If you have your own parenting or relationship question you would like answers to, submit on Facebook or Answers.


"Tonight is an example of behavior. But during Christmas lights drive thru we were doing (me, my spouse, and kids) not constant but was picking on me. And denying at first that he actually said something.(One example was our son said he seen a drunk man somewhere in town and spouse said “oh that’s just my wife, and called me a hoe as a joke) I wasn’t really mad I just asked him to stop and he said okay I’m sorry. Then a bit after we left he picked on me again. When we got back and laid down in bed I asked why he picked on me. His response was “I just wanted attention and was goofing off”. I just wanted to communicate and say that I understood he said sorry but asked why he picked on me again after saying sorry and giggled about it. I get hit with “I didn’t even do that” and that “you actually have to hear someone laugh” basically implying that I’m just nuts. I was mainly upset with his response when we got home and denying it. And he also said that I was just trying to start shit and to stop arguing and fell asleep… the main reason I need advice is cause this is not the first time something like this has happened. Sometimes he’ll apologize but gets mad at me a lot and shuts me down when I just try to communicate and it’s mostly when I talk about my feelings. I know this is wrong. I also know if I bring this issue up again he’ll just get mad and say I’m starting stuff again. I don’t know what to do and honestly I don’t feel happy half the time.. any advice on how to approach this?"

RELATED: Am I Crazy? My Friends Are All Against Me and Calling Me a Liar Even Though I’m Not, Am I Crazy For Not Wanting to Fix Our Friendship?


The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.

"Kick him out . He’s a narcissist and what he did was to gas’s light you. They won’t change."

"Find the courage to leave. If you arent happy half the time with him why would you want to stay and continued getting treated like shizz and picked on like that"

"If you’re not happy then there’s tension in the home n it will affect not just you but your children so you need to decide whether or not you want to continue accepting this type of behavior or putting your foot down n keep pointing it out or you need to decide when enough is enough. The behaviors from a father and a mother will reflect on your children later in life whether people want to admit that or not. So it’s up to you what you decide to do not just for yourself but your children also"

"He’s narcissistic and a manipulative, do not fall victim to him trying to always tell him that his behaviour hurts you because he surely knows that,get him professional help, accept and stay or leave"

"he’s gaslighting you and doesn’t have any respect for you or your boundaries make it clear its not ok what he did and its not ever ok to involve the kids he’s setting a bad example for them and he needs to think about the repicossions of his actions"

"My husband does this too. I can’t talk to him about my feelings without him getting defensive or flat out gaslighting. It sucks"

"His bullying is already working because you’re too scared to say anything about it."

"Sounds like a narcissistic gas-lighter to me…not good hun, its not your fault and you are definitely not going nuts!"

"He’s gaslighting you. Confront it and tell him how he’s making you feel and that you need it to stop."

"Thats emotional abuse. My ex did this sh*t all the time. Hes trying to upset you on purpose. Then when you call him on it he gàskights you by telling you it never happened, you imagined it, you’re crazy etc. Girl get rid of him. He’s the crazy 1."

Have a response to this question? Leave it below to help a mama out! Or leave your own question and get responses from real moms!