How do I break the cycle and do better?

I grew up with parents that wernt so good at being parents. dad died when i was real young. mom is gone now. when i first started my period i wasnt told what was going on, just given a pad and told put it on. wasnt taught self care or basics like that. my daughter is 11 and has had her period. my man is a good dad. i grew up with no dad (he was an alcoholic). my dude knows her period schedule. knows mine. idk if it was lack of parents but i find it weird that he keeps track of that stuff. like i said i never had real loving affectionate parents so idk. whats your take?
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How do I break the cycle and do better?

That’s so amazing he keeps track of you’re periods. Does he get you stuff also? Be sure you’re stocked up, gives extra cuddles, chocolate? That’s not weird at all, that’s a great dad & husband.

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It’s actually good parenting and a good bf or hubby to know that stuff as far as breaking the cycle just do with her what u wished ur mom had done with u

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U got urself a good man

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Take baby steps one at a time. It’s important to keep track of your daughter’s cycle & it’s a great thing he does that for you both. . It’s also important to let her know that she can talk to you about anything and everything without judgement. It’s awesome that your man is a good husband and father to you both.

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Yea he’s probably trying to stay ahead of the game buying products lol …super important but wouldn’t hurt to tell him if it gets creepy. Lol

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My husband is like that with me and my daughter. When we’re at the store he ask he we have the things we need for the month if he notices we’re low he let’s me know. Now that my husband has kids he’s become was more sensitive about girl things and he’s always learning . I don’t think it’s a bad thing

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He sounds like a emotionally mature person who is comfortable with feminine energy. Bravo!!

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My S/O does the same and he’s explained it helps him to know to be extra supportive at those times.

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My husband knows mine snd will tell me when I’m going to start and he’s never wrong lol! You have an awesome husband as well!

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This is a great guy. Who definitely pays attention to his girls​:heart::heart::heart:

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he just pays attention! every time i feel like i’m late i ask my bf and he can tell me if it is or not. it’s wild!

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That’s a amazing and caring man you have!

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Paying attention is a positive!

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I think that is so loving that he knows, if you are cranky like me then maybe he’s keeping track so he knows when to leave you guys alone haha.

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My husband is very intune with my cycle because it’s hard for me some months (physically- I have a lot of pain and fatigue) and trying for babies and such. I don’t think it’s odd at all especially coming from parents who made it seem like a sin to use certain products or just didn’t help in that department much at all ESPECIALLY since my issues have been since I started my cycle. I wish I had more guidance growing up as I am now in my 30s and finally learning after 15 years how to control my own symptoms on terms that work for me.

Having a man be that attentive is amazing and scary all at the same time, especially when you’re not used to it. The fact that my man knows all the details and signs when it comes to my cycle or even my many chronic illnesses is a blessing because he’s able to see when something is off where I tend to think oh it’s just this normal every day side effect and I’m so used to it I don’t even notice.

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My bf tracks mine as he says that allows him to know when I will be irrational with PMS. :joy:
My 13 year old is never on a schedule so he can’t keep up with that, and neither can I.

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My Dad was always supportive about that sort of thing! He didn’t keep track but always asked if I needed anything and when he knew It was time he always, always brought me home a chocolate bar! Man I had the best Daddy ever! Miss him sooo much! :heart:

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Therapy for you momma. And be the mom you needed. That’s what I’ve done. My children talk to me about everything. I mean everything. They know that even if they screw up, we love them. I started taking about periods with my daughter aeound age 5. Just bought her a My First Period Box and she’s ready.
Dad should know how to talk to his daughter about these things. God forbid something happens to you, she will need him.
Thank him for caring enough to pay attention.
Also, my husband knows mine bc aa he says “I need to know when chips must be in constant supply…and when to come home with a bacon cheeeeburger” :smiling_face_with_three_hearts::rofl:

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I wish my partner would keep note so he knows when to throw chocolate to me

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Poor guy just wants to stay alive :rofl::joy::rofl::joy:

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It’s super normal for a man to know when it’s coming

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He knows HIS DAUGHTERS Schedule too. That’s really weird. Sorry.

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He has figured out when to tread lightly :laughing:

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My husband knows when I will be on my period, better than I do lol. I told him last week, that I forgot when I last had it and he said I should start in 2 weeks lol

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Rather he knows that not , like you said it wasn’t talked about in your household and many others it’s like sex a mum would give her daughter a book :roll_eyes: and it was never talked about again

If this makes your daughter uncomfortable, especially since she’s only 11, it’s understandable and he should respect that. I, too, would not have wanted to discuss the topic with any man when I was that young. It’s okay to be open about periods with your parents — and it’s okay to be private about them too.

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You already broke the cycle and are doing better

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He probably knows you haven’t had that support growing up and maybe knows it might not be a strong area in your life and wants to be that support for both you and your daughter. He might also just notice if there is a shift in you and your daughters attitude at a certain time of the month :woman_shrugging:

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Girl! You betta hit your knees and be thankful for him! He’s a gem!!

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There’s noting weird or odd about it. It’s time to break generational trauma and you already doing amazing sweetie for even knowing. My husband knows when shark week is around so no it’s not odd or weird.

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My husband does the same for my daughters and I. He will come home with everyone’s pads/tampons, favorite snacks, etc a couple days before we even have it. He is awesome

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That’s actually great! Some dads are creeped out at the thought of their little girls even going through puberty let alone getting their actual period! Kudos to him!

You mentioned you were brought up differently, maybe he picks up on that and feels he needs to be that support person if you will. I don’t have daughters but I was raised in a really reserved household where we really didn’t talk about periods either so I would have zero knowledge on how to even present to a daughter (boy mom here)… maybe he had a different upbringing and is saying here let me take the reins :grimacing:

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I think more men are being aware these days. It’s a good thing no matter what the reason. It shows he pays attention, his actions will probably show its because he cares for your well being.

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Sounds like my husband lol

He cares… You are lucky! Just enjoy the fact that you mean that much to him

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That’s so kind and sweet of him to take the time to do that

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He is in sync with the house of females? You hit the jackpot. You already crushed the cycle honey!

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He has learned when he needs to tread lightly and protect himself. Leave that man alone and tell him to start buying the products and chocolate since he knows when it will be needed better than anyone else .

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I think he’s just trying to be supportive. I wish someone kept up with mine. Because I always panic when I think it’s late.

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You have a man that can keep track of BOTH??? You’re very lucky he pays so much attention

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If you find it weird and you have a gutt feeling, go with your gutt. Don’t ever feel like your overthinking because in this world we live in we have good and evil. I personally don’t think a man should know of these things unless we feel comfortable and if we need something :woman_shrugging:.

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Mines the same. Knows my cycle better than I do, because like you, my mother was horrible at being a parent

That’s a good thing… he can stay out of line of fire​:joy::joy:

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i see it as a good thing. my husband knows mine and im sure he will memorize his daughters when shes old enough and starts.

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He just wants to know when he should go run and hide and buy ample amounts of chocolate and caffeine :sweat_smile:

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I think it seems weird to you because it’s not an everyday man thing and has always been left to the women but it’s natural and nature, it is a tack for the majority and if it wasn’t for the cycle, we wouldn’t have children. I personally think it’s great he knows, and why not? It’s not a man/woman thing, with your children, it’s a parent thing. My hubby doesn’t take bite if cycles but he knows I’m due the week after our 13yos done

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My husband knows my schedule. Knows it better than I do tbh. Your guy probably grew up with a sisters and his mama. I don’t think it’s weird. If he’s being supportive and not creepy I don’t see the problem.

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Grew up without a mother here :raising_hand_woman:t4: And my dad was great with this stuff.
He never made it embarrassing for me.
He always made sure I had my ‘ girly things’ and whenever he would go shopping he would make sure to ask if I needed anything.
It’s was a bit sweet really.
I had no one else but my dad.
You and your daughter are very lucky :slightly_smiling_face:

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He’s caring and supportive- and what you probably would’ve wanted and craved in a dad.
He sounds like a great dad.
Your behaviour often changes with periods. So he’s probably prepared and more sensitive etc around those times too.
I would say he’s grown up with a great mum / or and sisters.

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Smart man, he knows when to watch his words lol

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My husband knows mine and seems to be super sweet during that time :rofl:

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It’s a good thing. Not gonna be weird for long. Least he’s taking care of you both. Knows when to buy the stuff you both need. Wish my man did that my l but our girls are very young yet and I buy my own things😆

I think it’s awesome.

Ummm I fully believe you broke the cycle. Keep doing what your doing

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I mean why wouldn’t he keep track of something that is so important? Each month his two important women go through big changes that can be miserable and frustrating and will need extra love and kindness during which. My husband doesn’t keep track but he can tell when I’m on my period

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He sounds like a great Dad. I hope you talk to him about this & ask him how he’s so comfortable with knowing these “feminine hygiene” things. You haven’t given us his background so I’m assuming he grew up with sisters & a Mum & perhaps saw his Dad doing the same for them? Family is family… We look out for each other, whether male or female.

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Least hes taking care of his girls. Its only weird if its something creepy goung on, and i dont think thats the case.

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It’s not weird. He cares about you both. Be Thankful you have him.

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Keeping track of the cycle is a a good thing…if it doesn’t come regular, it could be signs of pregnancy or other health issues that may need to be discussed with a Dr…as long as he isn’t being creepy about it, I’d say it’s a good thing that he is only trying to help out and watch for pregnancy, ect.

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His Mom taught him well…he knows now how to take the different moods etc… sounds like a loving caring husband and father :100:

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My hubby knows mine and our dog’s :sweat_smile::sweat_smile:

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You’ve got a rare amazing man there :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

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That man is a KING! Keep him! I’d kill for a man that paid that much attention to detail on anything to do with me

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Period power is a great book!

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Honey. He is more than keeping track. He can smell it. I know it sounds gross and weird but its the truth. I know plenty of men who can. They just don’t talk about it because they think we might take offense to it. But it’s a very natural thing.

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I think it’s pretty valuable for men in the household to be aware of what the ladies are going through. I have really rough cycles sometimes and I had to explain that to my son early on because he was seeing my pain and he didn’t understand it. My husband basically raised his sister so he doesn’t think twice to get my products or try to treat me extra during that time. My daughter hasn’t gotten there yet but I’m certain it will be a blessing for her to have a father who isn’t embarrassed and she will learn how to properly be respected and cared for.

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He making sure she don’t get pregnant I guess

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Him knowing your period schedule it’s OK, but the fact that he knows his daughters. Schedule is a little inappropriate and weird.

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Mine keeps up with mine… and he brings me chocolate!

I would come home and find a big bag of peanut M&Ms on my dresser every month about the same time. My dad never said a word about it but I always thought it was so sweet that he made sure I had my fav chocolate every month. As an adult in my 30’s I a chance to spend a month with them and that bag of peanut M&M’s mysteriously showed up on the dresser and still not a word was said. I just smiled hopped up on the bed turned the TV on and ate my chocolate like I was 16 again🤣. I don’t think its weird that a dad keeps up with it. He honestly should so he knows when his girls need a little extra love, distance, patience, chocolate or whatever that girl needs at that time. My dad is a blue collar guy and not the best at expressing emotions but that simple gesture was priceless to me.

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When I got my first period, my mom almost “congratulated” me. She bought me a new coat that I wanted and took me to the feminine product Isle and let me pick my own girly pads. And then we went to dinner and talked about the responsibilities of being a woman. It meant a lot to me because I was so confused. Make it a good experience. I’m glad your man is awesome. She’ll always remember how good you 2 were to her. Good luck.

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Idk I’d look for other signs really but if none then u got ur self a good one

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It’s weird to me but my parents kind of sucked too. :woman_shrugging:t2: Plus there’s such a stigma about menstrual cycles and men, at least in American culture, where men have basically been taught for generations that it’s “gross” and is a taboo subject. I’ve known 2 men in all my 30+ years of life that would openly and genuinely talk about menstrual cycles with women.

My husband just randomly throws chocolate at me and stays outta the way. Dare he ask if I’m on it? :laughing: I’m joking…sorta, not about the chocolate.

It would have made all the difference in the world to me if this wasn’t treated like a taboo subject when I was that age. Going thru puberty was a nightmare for me. I got a couple of pamphlets to read from my mom. That’s it. I didn’t understand them and they seemed gross, anyway. So I didn’t really read them and didn’t ask questions. I felt like a child and wasn’t ready for these changes. When it finally happened to me, I about had a heart attack. I screamed because I thought I was dying. Mom came and helped me put on a pad and some clean clothes. I was traumatized.

A smart man tracks it so he can be prepared. So that he knows when y’all gonna be cray cray. Plus I always kept track of all my daughters because I don’t want any surprises.

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My hubby keeps track of mine - better than I do. Our girls are not at that age yet ( he gets twins!), but I don’t find it weird that he keeps track for your daughter as well.

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I wouldn’t think it’s weird for either one… that way he knows when she’s got different emotions going on.

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Men cant win nowadays can they :joy::joy::joy:

If they dont acknowledge it they arent supportive and selfish yada yada.

If they do its inappropriate.

He is a parent caring about his kid. Just like a mom would. If ya wanna go back to “roles” of male and female. Yall wouldnt like it.

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Well, I don’t want to sound like an arse, but having grown up in a dysfuunctional family, I had develop my own strategies. Some where not that great…like doing laundry. Still haven’t mastered those skills. How are your skills on keeping track with your cycle and hers and trying to have functionally functioning home?? I have found whe.I try very hard to be functional where it didn’t happen whe I was growing up, I have to work very hard at it. Be honest with yourself and the situation. And if there is a little home background shining through, ask him to help you learn.

It’s not weird for both parents to be aware. He’s also going to be helping her buy whatever she wants/need hygiene wise. Periods arent some weird shameful thing to keep the menfolk from knowing about. It’s a normal bodily function and by being open about it it can help reduce the stigma for young impressionable people who are menstruating if it’s not treated as something dirty and weird to talk about. Is she not allowed to speak with her dad about it nor ask him questions bc he’s dad?!?

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If there is no other sign of anything off then I’d like to think you have a very caring man, a keeper for sure. Maybe he likes to be prepared and understanding of your guys periods.

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He has too much time on his hands he needs a hobby

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You found a gold mine. That’s what I think.

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My boyfriend knows mine. Hell my best guy friend used to know mine. :joy: apparently I turn into a little bit of a psycho. :woman_shrugging:t2::rofl:

You (and your daughter) have got yourselves one awesome dude!! :+1:t3::+1:t3:

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Probably fine if no other signs and likely also tracking to be apprised of pregnancy in case that were to happen in future.

No man in my life growing up. My husband knew my daughters schedule. When I said something , he said how could he not know, mood swings, head aches, long showers. He pointed out things I didn’t realize. I took long hot soaking baths except when mother nature called then it was showers . My daughter did the same. Appetite changed. Ext.

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I find it weird that he’d keep track too. Guess it’s just upbringing. I can see why a SO & father would keep track. I mean us moms do. Why not dad’s. It helps him prepare, know if something is wrong, understand if mood swings arise etc.

I know you’re not use to it cause as you said, you didn’t have those role models growing up but think of it like this. If it’s not weird for you to know her schedule, why is it weird for him to? I have a 20 month old daughter and I hope my husband notices those things, if he doesn’t then I wouldn’t hold it against him but I would think it was caring if he did. Not everything is always worrisome and sexual despite how this terrible world makes it seem so unless you have other signs of concerns, it’s okay.

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Like, he just knows it happens around this time of the month - or he actually keeps track of it like in a calendar? I’d be worried if he was actually keeping track. But, if he just knows about when it happens then I think its awesome that he’s paying attention. My husband knows when all of us are on because he makes sure we are stocked up on supplies lol.

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Not weird at all to me. In my household my oldest son who is 18 keeps track of mine. And since he was 12 would go to the store by our house and pick up needed items. He grew up with me being his only parent for many years, he has younger sisters. And to me it makes me proud that he cares and supports the women in his life. Be grateful you have a husband who is involved and knows what’s going on with the women in his life. He was raised right.

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Not weird that’s caring to be prepared and knows maybe things she likes when shes on it

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My dad NEVER knew my schedule. Mom taught me to be modest about it. Yes, its normal to have periods, but dad’s dont need to know EVERYTHING… Not being rude, but it just seems off putting he knows all that. In my humble opinion.

my man didn’t even know what a ph balance was a year ago lol. i think its great, I think it shows that he cares & that although he is a male and doesn’t have those things, that he can act as a father figure & support his daughter through the things her body goes through.

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Thank gawd you got one that cares to know about the girls in his life. Men who are oblivious to anything that isn’t about them are everywhere. His awareness ought to be appreciated.

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