First why would you want to subject your children to that kind of life style?? Stick to your guns…Supervised visits until he grows up??Don’t second guess yourself or let him gaslight you.
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Get a lawyer and get visitation orders and tell your lawyer he visits unsavory places and your afraid for your kids well-being. They can have his visits supervised by a court representative.
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Have someone else pick up and drop off the kids for visits…takes the negative out.
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He sounds like a big man baby. Document everything and go to court.
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- Get a go pro and start recording all interactions for legal purposes. 2. File for immediate custody & request he gets regular supervised visits. Get a notebook and RECORD EBERYTHING. Screenshot texts between you two & send them to your email. And then just keep him blocked for your own health. If you have pictures or videos, unblock him only to send them then reblock him.
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File a temporary parenting plan that gives him supervised visitations ask for a Guardian Ad Litum to be assigned to the case. Also ask the court to handle child support so the state takes it from his paycheck and sends it to you.
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You just had a baby! Right now all you need to focus on is those two kids. He’s treating you like trash, so kick his ass out and concentrate on you and the kids. Make him give you money for support. Go find out how much you have coming and make sure he pays it! You deserve so much better, and so do those babies. I can’t believe how disgusting it is for a man to cheat on a woman who is sitting at home recovering from childbirth. If he was a real man, he’d be working and giving you money, or he’d be home helping you with the kids.
Sometimes you have to play thief game but better other times you have to spaze TH out on him
Look into narcissism and gray rock method. Get supervised visitations with a neutral party set up through the courts. If he’s hanging out with a bad crowd, he’s doing the same stuff they’re doing. Keep record of everything, record all interactions if you can and document it all!
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get a lawyer ,have him declared an unfit father. you will need prove it .
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Document EVERYTHING. Speak with lawyer about what you can do some courts have an app and they order ALL communication go through that app. That way nothing can be erased and THEY can pull it up too. So missed visitation, harassment, threats, or anything else is documented for you.
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Mayb get Ur mum or dad 2 drop them off 2 the ex so then U dnt have 2 interact with him.
Get another number seperate 2 the 1 U normally use n that is only 4 the use of messaging him 4 photos n any updates on the kids health n such… this way U dnt get the abuse n the kids won’t hear it…
If U get abusive messages on that number keep them, n I can’t believe I’m saying this as I dislike police if the messages r abusive just reply with if U keep up wit this kind of abuse towards me U will give me no choice but 2 take these messages 2 the police n see wat my options r wit the police…
If he won’t accept this plan then go n seek legal advice
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So sorry gf ur going thru this I went thru it except no baby we each had kids and he started hang bad crowd and I stopped visits for safety of kids because if he owes someone money they wont care kids there or not he getting it so plz dont let him take them if u wanna chat pm me plz
Get a protective order against him.
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I’m sorry you’re going through this. Please know it doesn’t have to be this hard with someone. He sounds like a toxic narcissist. Leave and never look back! Hugs to you mama 
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You know he will pay. Because the kids will know, also I just make the children feel bad about them self. Wow You look just like you daddy. Their will hear you are just like daddy… Make sure some one will be with the child when or if he take them. He is toxic, the friends is bad. that is why we are here in till he and or his friends get help.
First u need to go to court and get some type of custody plan before u even think about giving the kids over to him bc he likely won’t give them back and u won’t be able to do a damn thing until you go to court or steal them back…it’s not going 2 be easy trying to co parent with a fuck boy. Just ignore all the negative shit he says and anything else other than the kids. If it doesn’t have anything to do with the kids don’t respond. Goodluck
U can’t keep them away not fair to the kids
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He needs to grow up.
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Don’t give him visitation, sounds like he is on drugs. Keep urself and ur kids away until he puts in effort to be healthy for them.
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You don’t, end of story. He is bad for you and those babies. If he does you like that infront of the daughter then when she gets older she will think it is okay for a man to treat her like that…
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Unfortunately you can’t co parent with someone like that. His rules are his rules at his houses and same with you. Don’t send him pictures(only let him know about medical,school etc)
. If it’s not pertaining to the children don’t have the conversation redirect him. If he says nasty things just say I’m sorry you feel that way have a good day then leave it alone. Write everything down and try to keep all commutation in text messages. Try for a ppo. Meet up at the police department. However you gonna learn not to react to his bs. When you react it gives him power.
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Supervised visits, also when/if he gets visitation or any meetings do it at the police or sheriffs office. I would let them know what arrangements you make. Only communicate through text messages, (proof in case you need it) only about the children.
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1st & foremost, you need to get a court order for custody. Otherwise he has every right to them as you do. You should be able to file for child support through the state, and if you don’t have orders in place, they will usually get you at least temp orders.
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Girl, find a good lawyer. This is gonna get so much worse. He is insane.
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Gaslighting, narcissistic, and manipulative!!! You’re better off without him
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Get the court involve !!! His issues is with you not the kids
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Sometimes being a mom you have to make hard decisions for your children and do what is best for them and that includes cutting off people that can hurt them or put them in bad situations until they are old enough to understand and protect themselves. It sucks but from one mom to another that’s out job. You are not helping them by putting the thru this growing up thinking it’s ok to treat people poorly by name calling abusive behavior or accepting it
God is with you 
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You find a mutual friend or unbiased adult to supervise his visits with the children somewhere outside of the home you live in, you go to court and take evidence with you proving he is unfit or whatever otherwise don’t mention it. Don’t communicate with him unless it’s about the children i.e if they’re sick, he asks about them, or you’re arranging pick up and drop offs etc. You go grey rock on his ass and don’t respond to his gaslighting and verbal abuse.
The comment he made can help you get a restraining order then any coparenting would have to go through a mediator. First off, you’re not crazy he’s trying to gaslight you because he knows he was doing you dirty but doesn’t want to confess to it. I’m happy to hear you are sticking to great boundaries. Took me forever to be able to see clearly the bs and stand my ground. Alright anyway a mediator, a judge may have you chose someone you trust that can talk to him. I have. Permanent restraining order against my ex and I use his mom. You will have to let him have visitation but that needs to get decided how that goes down, DO IT IN COURT FIRST. Unless you think he will give them back ,but if he decides he doesn’t want to give them back, no police are going to get them for you because it’s a civil matter and it will have to be drug out in court and if he has them in his custody at that time there is a possibility they will grant him more than just 50/50 they will give him the most custody. It happens all the time. Not saying to keep them from him. If you can be around him I suggest Grey rocking him. Don’t respond to him at all and only do what’s best for the kids.
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Go to the court and have a custody order put in place. That will make it so he can’t just take off with the kids and is legally enforceable. Second if you feel he or someone he is around or a place he goes is not safe for the kids you can ask the judge that he not be allowed to take the kids around that place or person (judge may or may not grant it) DOCUMENT EVERYTHING!!! Save all the texts of him calling you names and show to the court as well and ask that he no longer be allowed to harass you. Set it up so he may only text you through an app for the courts (courts can see all his and your contact and what is said this way) keep the texts ONLY about the kids.
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Been there n done that
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Ignore the name calling and tell the other parent that you will only communicate with them about your children. That’s it. Stand your ground girl.
You let him come to your parents house when they’re home and he can visit with his kids for an hour or two and then leave. You can also file for court and get a visitation order in place. Request supervised visitations due to his anger issues and let your lawyer know about the people he hangs around and why you want the visits monitored by a CAS worker.
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He has to make you think you’re the crazy one so that he can justify his actions and his words.
Head on down to the courthouse and file for custody, visitation and child support. During that course, you can request court intervention. They will set you up with an app that lets the two of you communicate and it’s monitored so that communication is only about the children. You can also set it up to where you have a third-party at pick up/drop off, to ensure that communication is solely about the children. If you’ve ended the relationship, at this point, what you do, where you are, who you’re with etc, is no longer his concern. Keep it strictly about the kids. If he calls or text for anything else, ignore it. He’s mad that he got caught and you left and now he has to deflect.
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You can’t… you file for full physical and legal custody, supervised visitation if you’d like him to even have any visitation rights at all at this point, would definitely not recommend unsupervised visitation of any kind… I know this is hard, I’ve been through it myself personally… best of luck
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Keep record of everything. Don’t let him near your kids until he petitions the court. Don’t talk to him in any form. Fight every urge to respond. Move on with your life. If his kids are important to him he’ll file for visitation. I bet he won’t.
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Take him to court and take co-parenting classes and it sounds like he needs anger management as well!
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For goodness sake, see an attorney asap!!! If you don’t trust him with the children ask for supervised visits ONLY - not at your parents - a church or somewhere else like that.
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Jus keep them away till he finds himself they’ll do jus fine
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Go to court … You’re at your parents so use the window of opportunity & privacy to get custody & parenting time established … Courts will provide a mediator if needed … I recommend you get an attorney … Speak frankly when you consult with them & let them take the lead for you …
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Leave him for good and get that divorce. He’s toxic and scary. I wouldn’t let him near the kids without supervision.
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I’m not sure how this works, but I’d file for an order of protection on yourself, the children and your parents. File for emergency sole custody, emergency divorce if married, both based on mental abuse. And fight this a-ho** with all your might in court. I’m glad you didn’t stay in that situation and that you have supportive parents.
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Leave him finally and get a divorce. Your daughter does not really know her father as he really is and will understand when she is older. He sounds too toxic to be allowed to have alone time with the kids!
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Why expose them to hate? Definitely not without supervision. Document everything. Find a good role model You don’t need the emotional abuse nor do your kids need to see it. Break contact. Break the cycle of hurt
If you tell an attorney you are being verbally and emotionally abused they will set up supervise visits for the kids most likely
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You can’t. File for full custody. File for supervised visitations until he proves he can have unsupervised. You are dealing with a manic bipolar and narcissist. You’re not going to be able to coparent with him at all… Accept it and move on with your life. If he wants to be in their lives he’ll make the changes he needs to to be a proper parent without the abusive behaviors, if not, he did you all a favor. 
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I went through all of that with 4 kids. He was a narcissist and abusive mentally and physically. I finally got away from him. Married a great guy who my kids adored. They cut all ties with him then he died. No loss to anyone. Those type of people never change. Prayers for you and your children
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Do you want to make it easy for everyone or yourself; make it easier on yourself do what everyone else does and just let the man call you for your baby if not then what will be will be. He like the rest of the men are just a bunch of shit bags!!!
Keep meticulous notes and records.
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If you were never married, you have automatic custody of the kids. He cannot take them anywhere. If you want to be rid of him, don’t file for child support and ask him if he wants to sign his rights away.
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Don’t block him! Don’t contact him! Respond only when it’s about the kids.
Is his name on their birth certificate? File for emergency custody! If yes, print all communications. Print any recent pictures with those people to do with the raid. Who does he live with? Are they doing criminal behavior? If he asks to see the kids, yell him we have plans but you can video chat through FB ( it keep records of when & how long he talk to your 3yr old. Social media can be your best friend & worst enemy.
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Sounds like the pedo book on how to confuse and subjugate women.
Lawyer and Courts ASAP. For everyone’s benefit. Create safe parameters for everything within the order and seek legal advice.
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Leave because you deserve better take him to court and make him have supervised visits with the kids
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I have been on both sides of this coin. My step daughters Mother made up all sorts of lies to keep me away from the girls, even our kids initially. 2 yrs and 20K later we got reasonable access, even one came to live with us for last 3 years of high school. the accusations thrown around was appalling but she had Legal Aid so she didn’t feel it in her pocket. With my ex husband and our son, he didn’t seem to care. I had to ask him to come and see our son. He then moved back to England and wouldn’t pay child support so that is 16 yrs ago, since he last saw his Son because he knows he will be pulled up at Immigration on the way in.
Don’t. File for full custody, and get your kids away from him before he does them permanent harm. You all deserve better than that.
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I’m sorry hun I know in ohio if your not married mom has full custody until he takes her to court . Idk If each state has different laws though.
And they will always try to crazy card . Cause there wrong and they know it .
Bottom line momma keep being an amazing mom by taking care of those babies. I’m glad you have yoir parents to help . Just enjoy that new baby 
Keep strong 
he is gaslighting and you need to get a lawyer and arrange for him to start paying for his kids.
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Go To Court And Get Some Orders On Him !!!Before its to Late !! And Get Your Kids and you Safe Away from HIM !!! Don’t trust the Ex At all !! Praying for you All !!
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With the changes in his personality and his roller coaster of an attitude, he could be using any number of drugs. If you can, and you are close to your parents, get out of where you are living and go to your parents. If you are afraid to leave with him there, call for the police/sheriff’s office for an escort to get out. He seems to be emotionally abusive.
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You don’t have to co-parent with him. You should start documenting everything he does and says because that will be important later. Get to your parents asap. Block him on FB but give him a way to contact you with regards to the kids only. Request that he send txt messages only and that any visitation or phone contact, because of his lifestyle will have to be done by appointment only and supervised at the police station. File for emergency court orders for sole custody and demand that he pass a drug test before seeing the kids at his expense. They can be bought at CVS or Walgreens etc. Get this in the court order as well. By documenting everything he does and says shows cause for the emergency order. BE NICE !! You don’t want any of this looking like a woman scorned. You are looking out for the wellbeing and safety of your children and nothing more. Get a court order for child support as well. Have it include medical insurance and any extracurricular activities the children are involved in. Being a single parent is tough on all levels but you will find strength you never knew you had if your intentions are right and do right by your kids.
Only come To your residence to see them
If you were never married to him just move the f*** on and let him petition the court and spend his money if he wants visitation. Run fast. My daughter’s ex husband is exactly like this and she is getting ready to move like 3 counties away from him. He is a complete psychopath. I feel your pain just move the f*** on!!!
Also start documenting on paper everything that’s happened between the 2 of you. Every time hes abused assaulted whether verbally or physically in front of your children or not et cetera. Keep track of everything. Including the people he hangs out with. You can do this by yourself.
And don’t let him bait you in into any arguments or to come down to his level ever. That is the hardest thing. I was never able to do that myself but I am extremely proud of how my daughter has handled it.
Set up supervised visitation if he’s involved with individuals that aren’t living a lawful life. Courts will help you with that. Don’t fall for the BS he’s dishing you a plate of.
Do the same to them… unfortunately someone that chronically interrupts or puts people down do it subconsciously… either record them doing it, or go back at them (no matter the age) 1 - 99
Another thing - whom ever is treating you this is only doing it because they see it done by someone else.
If your spouse constantly puts you down, even if you play it off as joking (It’s NOT) or doesn’t respect you, your kids won’t.
You can and will get it back by not responding to whoever is treating you like this.
If an adult is also doing it (a spouse) talk to them first, and state ‘ I realized ‘Maggie’ is treating me poorly and it’s because you speak to me that way, and I blow it off… but I am not allowing it to happen anymore.
Welcome to my world…stay with your parents. Don’t talk to him. He knows that he can treat you that way, so he does. So STOP. Heal yourself. My daughter is learning to get along without her father. He treated her like an object not a daughter. Never spending time with her except to take her to to other women houses to show her off. He hangs out with drug dealers and all around bad people. Now the court has ordered him to stay away from my daughter and me. Stand up for yourself and your kids.
He’s a headache. Go get custody
You don’t co parent you file for sole custody and set up visitation for your children with their father. Havihis children doesn’t give him the right to mistreat you verbally