How do I confront my nanny/friend for stealing from me?

My friend had committed a class 5 felony. I hired her as a nanny for my children while I’m in nursing school, finishing up. I pay her weekly, and behind my back since January, she has been withdrawing money from the same atm by the house. $20 here, $40 there, sometimes multiple times within the day. Yes, I own the fact that I haven’t been looking at my account balances. We went to go buy another work vehicle from my husband when we finally put 2 and 2 together and discovered these withdrawals have been at the same location every time. The gas station attendants knew me very well and were able to describe my friend and even her mother, and stated every time she goes up there, it’s straight to the atm, and she always pays with cash. They’ve given me the CCTV footage, further proving it has been here this whole time. She doesn’t know that I have this info yet. She is playing it off like she is dumb, “I’m sorry this has happened to you; I hope you find out who did it. I would never do something like that to you.” Right to my face. I’m supposed to go pick her up this evening so she can be here during the week while I’m busy taking finals and during my clinical shifts. When do I confront her and how?

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first of all, how does she have access to your accounts to withdraw from the atm? If you gave her your card and pin you gave her permission to make those withdraws and you got nothing… if she stole your card, file a police report, press charges and fire her. She will be arrested and go back to jail. Let the cops do the confronting, it’s their job not yours.

This isn’t as crappy as what she did but :woman_shrugging:t2: if she’s a good Nanny, fire her after your exams and then press charges. Since you’re her income it’s not like you can give her the option to pay you back, it’s not like it was a one time thing out of desperation. She deserves what she’s warranted

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How do I confront my nanny/friend for stealing from me?

How was she able to get your bank/debit card?

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Have the cops be there at your home after she gets there to arrest her if you have proof :+1:t3:

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U don’t, u let the police confront her with theft…

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File a police report stat!!

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I would file a report with the police and let them confront her and you block and delete her.

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Why does she have acess to your debit card?

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Do not confront her alone. File a police report and take her to court. Do not pick her up and leave her with your kids

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File police report don’t confront her be like idk man this is a police issue now

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Get in touch with the cops. And figure something else out with your kids. I wouldn’t let her back in my home.

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She needs to not be alone with your kids anymore. I wouldn’t confront her, I would just turn everything in to the police so they can “find out who did this”.

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For starters I wouldn’t have a theif in my house looking after my children imagine what else she could be doing

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1st off…why even pick her up and keep giving her access to yr stuff. 2nd confront her with a police officer and some charges so she knows u mean business and doesn’t try and cry her way out of it.

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Turn this over to authorities.

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Call. The. Cops. She sounds crazy af.

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Fire her now! Why would you allow her to continue to work for you and possibly steal from you, such as clothing, etc.?

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Well first I’d stop her having any access to your account.

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For everyone asking, most nanny’s have access to debit card because they do the grocery shopping & other little things as well. File a police report & let them handle it from there. Do not let her alone with your children.

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Why does she have your debit card … And how does she know your pin?

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After your finals. you need to get thru this. In the mean time freeze the account put in a nanny cam

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You don’t. Tell her your plans changed and you dont need her right now. Then.go get a warrant for her arrest. It’s very simple. She mistook your kindnesa for a weekness.

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First of all why does she have access to your debit card, second why are you bringing her back into your house to take more from you??? I would have told her first day I discovered the truth… YOUR FIRED

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I dont understand why she has access to your money?

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That’s a police issue.

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Change your pin number .

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Just call the police on her. Let them deal with it

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First question…Whay did she have access to your bank account 2nd question… why havent you called the police,?? file a report!!!

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Responsible. File the police report, prove all evidence, take her to court, hire a new sitter

Irresponsible: whoop that ass

You need to get the police involved first

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I would let the police explain it to her

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Play the CCTV to her :grimacing:

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Definitely just let the police handle it

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Problem you might encounter, because she was in your home, alone, by invitation on numerous occasions, the bank may say she had access. But the question is, did you ever give her the pin, because if so, you did give her access. The bank may refuse to cooperate unless you have her charged. Are you prepared for that? It’ll significantly impact the friendship, not save it…but that might be best.

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Straight to the police, and fire her immediately.

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I’m not going to ask why she has access to your bank account, but do you really want someone like that watching your kids? She could be lying about your kids too, much more valuable than money. She needs to go ASAP and let the police handle it from there

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just go straight to cops with all your information and surveillance. she’s been going behind your back you should just go behind hers.

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With the police as they arrested her!! How and why does she have access??? Fix that first.

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Take your information to the police. She obviously has not learned her lesson. When…should have already been done. By the way, she is not a friend.

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Take out cash, freeze accounts. Finish your finals and serve her paperwork. Hide your valuables or just fire her immediately

Call the police immediately.

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Sit her down, show her the evidence then show her the door

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Ask her if she’d like to watch a movie n pop that tape in .

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Police can explain it.

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I would confront her with the police, at her door. How and why she has access to their bank account is irrelevant. I have access to my boyfriend’s and my parents’ bank cards but I don’t steal money from them. She said she trusted this person, so it sounds like she didn’t think she was capable of breaking that trust

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I can’t say what I would do cause fb won’t let me

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How did she get access to ur cards? I would surprise her with police if possible

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Change cards, let her watch ur kids until ur done with finals and explain to her that u can’t pay her till next week since u don’t have money since someone is using ur card then pay don’t her ass at all then report her ass

Oh my gosh. You should report it to the police and let them handle it. If not she will likely do this to other families. If shed do this to you whho knows what else shed lie about

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Fifth class felon? Would did you think would happen?

It’s called betrayal

I wouldn’t confront her at all. I would get the police involved. They can go pick her up. Male sure yu keep a copy of the cctb footage for yourself. She isn’t your friend, never was.

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Why would you give her access to your card?

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Definitely call the cops! And change your banking information immediately!

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How did she get your atm card and pin number?

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#1 that’s not a friend. #2 file a police report. #3 if she’s willing to steal & lie to your face, she’s also doing more in your home. #4 if you do not file a police report, you’ll never see the money at all.

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Police NOW. Do not respond to her. Do you REALLY want someone like this caring for your children!?!? You can’t trust her with anything why would you even consider trusting her with your kids? Let police handle this. And change that PIN number!!

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Why does she the ability to access your account?? And if you knew she was stealing why would you employ her???

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Change your PIN number

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Trust is everything especially in a nanny. If you can’t trust her with your money how can you trust her with your kids?

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You don’t. Call the police

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I wouldn’t pick her up, I would make the excuse “I have to go talk to the police about who possibly stole from me. They told me they have footage and witness statements and I’m finally going to find out who the their is and make them pay.” Let her panic. She deserves it.

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Report your card stolen when she goes to use it she automatically will get arrested I did it to my step son he took my debit card paid his mother cable and stuff. I acted like I was not going to report it the weekend and pretended I was going to try and find it the minute he went to use it he was arrested do the same thing to her let the cops then handle it

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so in the last 6 months you haven’t checked your account something doesn’t seem right. how did she get your card and on top of that your pin? if you didn’t give it to her. something isn’t right or makes sense.

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Pick her up and take her right to the police station and file a report arrested on the spot she’s not your friend

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She needs to be stopped, contact Police if not she will do to the next trusting soul,.

Report to the police, have them waiting for her.
Meanwhile, focus on your exam, that’s what’s most important.

Id be calling the cops

Call the police. Let them handle it. Find a new nanny. If she’s willing to steal from you, what else is she willing to do or not do while watching your kiddos?

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This is why it is illegal to give your ATM card to anyone.

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Take money out and notify back you want the account frozen and that money has been being taken from your account. When she tries to use the canceled card the bank should be alerted

well i would punch her in the lips …thats no friend and if shes doing that she stealing what ever she wants from your home as well liars and theives…no time for that shit… i wouldnt say a word i drop her …dirt nap bitch :tipping_hand_woman:

You got played. Simple. She is a user, and obviously deserves her felony record, call the cops, let her explain. Get her out of your house, she never was a friend, and shouldnt be around the kids. Also say goodbye to the cash she took, and yes, you should have noticed that alot sooner. But hey we are all human. She deserves some more jail time.

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Did you give her your debit card and pin number ?

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I’d be calling cops. That’s wrong. I’m curious how she has your card info and pin? Especially if you are already paying her. Why does she have access to that?

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I’d cancel card and turn all information to the cops

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She already had all her access to your cash , do not give her any more access to your children and valuables!

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Do you have anyone else to watch your child while you finish your finals?

Change the PIN and do not tell her.
Wait until all the testing and schooling is done at least for this semester.
Confront her afterwards so you are not left in a childcare lurch.
Don’t give her your card anymore.
Just give her say twenty or so a day in case she wants to take the kiddos out and get them something to eat (that should NOT be coming out of HER pay) and that’s it.

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I definitely wouldn’t let her in my house again especially to watch my kids…

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File a report on her ass! Make her pay u every damn penny back!

Simple. Call the police.

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How did she get your card or PIN number? I would let her know that you got camera footage from the gas station and your pressing charges or she can pad back all the money she’s taken from you. Have the conversation out of your home so your children aren’t around. I’d find a new nanny too cause I wouldn’t trust her in my home anymore.

Or just contact the police and give them all your evidence. Let them arrest her and handle it

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I’d tell her to pay it back now or go to jail. Next she will try stealing your family

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Call or go to bank , have new cards sent & change your pin # . Report to police with evidence.

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Have her watch your kids til you’re done with your stuff then don’t pay her and tell her to gtfo your house :woman_shrugging::joy:

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Let law enforcement handle it. Don’t confront her.

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Problem is did you give her permission to use the card if needed for the children,if so then you need to take the card and tell her it is not for personal use.

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I wouldn’t say anything. I’d call the cops and give them all the proof and let them deal with it

If youve contacted the police. Let them handle it. Wash your hands of her.

There’s no way I’d let her near my children. I’d go straight to the police.

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and you trust her with your kids ? omg

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How does she have your ATM card? First call the police. Then call your bank & dispute each withdrawal. Tell them you have video that coordinates with the location & time of each withdrawal. Cancel the card. Press charges against her & request that your bank does the same.

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I would turn the evidence over to the police and get a warrant for her arrest. I would also have the card cancelled and replaced if needed the card. That is how I would handle this problem. Find a day care or family member who could step up until you find a replacement.

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Honestly I’m evil I would let her watch the kids this week but change the pin number and then when she ask to be paid at the end of the week say no you’ve already collected your pay all of those times you used the atm without me knowing then just stop talking to her or take her to the police department

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Uh how the hell did she get your card or you PIN?

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  1. Was she given access to a card because she is watching your children?
  2. did she pull the cash out to buy lunch for the kids? If you can prove it wasn’t for feeding your kids or for gas to drive them somewhere definatly press charges.
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It’s her friend guys ! I’m sure she’s been around to know her information . But ,it’s wrong that this lady trusted her even with personal information n, yet her friend still sneaking n ,helping herself. It’s easy to just take something n , put it back before being noticed .