I guess the only thing I would do is stop taking him there. Kids that age have no reason to lie & it doesn’t sound like a good environment for him anyways if you said your brother has been aggressive with him. I would continue with what your doing… getting consent to help, making sure he knows that it’s not okay for anyone else to touch him and find someone else to watch him.
It should be more than common sense that you should immediately set up strong boundaries. It doesn’t matter the cost set up boundaries. I grew up with all kind of abuse, physically, mentally sexually. Since my mom n dad used to see movies that where not porn bit still had sex in it I thoug all of it was normal. Then when I started to grow up n being around others kids I felted like crap because of all the unrespect. My older sister ask me to move in with her becuase it would be safer. Her husband touch me once n I thoug maybe I imagine it. The second time was way worst n for so long time as I scream to stop n scream for help n i scream but there was no one around so at 11years old I move out. He then whent N did worst to niece n I found out at 24 when I was married , so I made a report against him. Most family members took his side becuase he just did it playing around (suposedly) but the prosecutor didn’t thoug it was funny n she deported him. Listen to me you supose to protect your kids even from your own shadow if your shadow is a threat to them. Hire someone else who is respectful or better yet enroll your kids in a preschool . Don’t allow your mom n dad around your children period. Your mom n dad think it kay be funny but if they can’t understand the first time trust me they won’t changed . I thoug people could changed that is y I didn’t reported my brother in law n later on I found out he was doing worst to other children . My mom was visiting n my 8 year old was acting up, my mom said I should beat the crap out of him(since she used to beat the crap out of me). Guess who is not allowed around my kids? My mom an anyone else who is unrespetfull (90%) of my family. This can bring great trauma to your kids. My trauma didn’t manifested as much until I got married n ruin my marriage. I would imagine it was my brother in law molesting me when it was my husband trying to make love to me so I would not be intimately with husband becuase I was so traumatized n had ptsd. Please protect your children because by law if anyone sees this happening they will put you and your husband in jail for allowing this n they will also put your parents in jail because even thoug they think is funny this is STRAIGHT UP SEXUAL MOLESTATION. I just didn’t study in college to be homicide detective but I study a lot sexualy molesters n rapist becuae of the sexual n molestation I whent thru. Please keep strong boundaries permanently or you are risking going to jail for allowing it. Your kids will grow up n remember this n if they tell a teacher you will go to jail. Keep that 13 year old away from your kid he is already molesting him especially if he is putting him in a closet for no one to see n try to get him therapy if not he will grow up to be a rapist. That is how most of them start. Take your 3 year old to a therapist n talk to one yourself and ask him to guide you. That way in the future if your kids remember all this n they tell someone’s n someone reports this, there will be evidence that you where not part of it and that you did put a stop to it n that you got your kids the right help.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How do I confront this issue with my parents?
A child therapist and a call to the cops to make a report would be my first thing!! If you don’t report it you can get in trouble yourself
Always listen to your children! I don’t believe a three year old could make this up! Please keep your children away from these people!! Keep your babies safe!!
Most definitely believe your child. I’d most certainly call the authorities, and make a report, regardless of if it’s your brother or not, or if you think he’d do that or not, you are obligated to keep those babies safe. Keep them away from your family, your mother’s behavior isn’t too appropriate either.
Always listen to your kids also being 3 Years Old they don’t know sexual things. He might not be scared of your brother because he’s made it to be a game and your 3 year old doesn’t know any better because he’s a baby still.
Call CPS and the Police report it because they need to be kept away from any kids and the rest of your family deserves to know what type of people they are so they can protect their kids as well.
One time saying it is enough . 13 is old enough to know better and right from wrong ,he has simply molested your son,and though it was only said once ,could have happened numerous times by now,allowing him around unsupervised around these people means you are potentially enabling abuse happening to your child(ren) and as a parent no matter who the predator is ,it is your job to protect your kids at all cost . Your brother needs to be put in counseling and speak to authority figures that can explain what will happen in the future if the allegations continue and get bigger as they grow . You children aren’t gonna be scared of him bc they are comfortable with him and know him as someone who they are supposed to be safe with , I was 10 when I was SA by a 12 year old who was supposed to be close to me and safe and instead caused ptsd and other mental health issues bc of the trauma that back then I didn’t know was wrong . Confront your parents and keep your children away unless supervised and that you know it’s supervised 100%,they they don’t take you seriously,though 13 he can get in trouble for molesting other minors and as a mother I personally would resort straight to that bc my children’s health and safety come first .
Stop visitation now and believe your child. Sounds like your brother was abused as well and maybe someone in the family.
PLEASE look into this further for the sake of your children
Thirteen is old enough to know right from wrong, but on the other hand, just hearing what you’re saying about your upbringing, it makes me wonder what if anything has happened to your brother? Might this (what he’s doing to your child) be a cry for help? Could be have been abused in some way himself? Not excusing his behavior, just trying to understand it. I’d say counseling is definitely in order.
Counseling and (un)fortunately a call to CPS to have them investigate. You want to make sure both your children as well as your (minor) brother is safe and getting the help he/they need(s).
I would seek counseling before you do anything else. As well as a medical exam. Have your 3 year old examined or interviewed to be certain this happened . If you call the police or child services first you cannot unring that bell and you will be at the mercy of the courts deciding for you moving forward. Including not being able to see your brother or your mom because he lives there.
Definitely supervise when you’re visiting always.
I stopped reading after “ your brother touched his penis” idk what the rest of the post says and I don’t need to. You need to protect your kids you’re the only one they have that can. Do what you need to as a mother don’t post looking for advice, if you don’t you’re no better than them allowing this behavior with your children. Smarten up and make sure your kids are safe!!
You don’t bring it up with your parents. You believe your child and book them an appointment asap
There’s a lot of good advice on here!! Seriously hope you take it!!
Get them as far away as your parents as you can. Omg.
Clearly your brother had a traumatic childhood too … report it all maybesomeone is touching your brother …
I did not finish reading as soon as I saw a child saying they’re being violated!! HELLO!! You don’t need to consider anything else!!
First off call the police and report ur bother I don’t give a rat’s ass that he’s only 13. If u do not report it then ur horrible parents and should have ur kids removed from u
Well… counseling to try to get to what’s going on and a childcare facility instead of family
A young child wouldn’t just make that up always belive your child i would be going to the doctors ect and take this further and do not let your child around him again please take this further its very serious and abusers are very clever so no your son won’t be scared of him but what ur son is saying is def something a 3 year old would not be able to make up keep an eye on ur child expect some behaviours from him as it will effect him support hin try get him to talk don’t make it serious as he may not talk then try do it in a fun way then he will prob open up but def do not let this go I hope ur child is okey in an adult and it still effects me now what happend to me wen was younger
Find another babysitter…call the authorities and make a formal complaint about the touching incident… they have centers set up in every city that specializes in this and will interview your child in a safe environment…I was aloud to watch through a 2 way mirror while they interviewed my daughter…protect ur babies
Your entire family sounds fkd up and you should probably seek counseling and report your sick fk parents and brother to the authorities.
Ummm. I would get another sitter and definitely keep your youngest away from your brother. He’s 3. He will start to think this is normal behavior and that will not be good. No way on this God’s green earth would my brother touch my 3 years Olds penis without getting the smack around.
The fact that this is even a question scares me…get that kid away from them!! Protect those children.
Nope !! Do not leave your children unattended with her again because she obviously not going to stop and you son has told you something he didn’t learn on tv !! Start going to a read day care find one with cameras you can check in at on your phone threw out the day and take the hit for daycare costs !!!
the fact that this is even a question baffles me… your kids are the most important thing the in world and you don’t know that you should remove them from a harmful situation?
You want your kids to know you always believer them, but your 3 year old has told you his uncle touches his penis yet you’re saying yiu don’t think your brother would do that and your parents and your brother are still babysitting. YOU HAVE ALREADY FAILED YOUR CHILDREN!!!
Stop all visitation right now.
Wtf keep the kids away now and only let them see the kids when your in the room with them all, that sounds very messed up all of it, your kids needs safety, do not let your children down because your not sure it’s TRUE, a child would not be scared of an abuser when they are young as an abuser is a groomer your brother would be nice but would sometimes show his anger, put a stop to them seeing the kids alone full stop, the last thing you want to do is fail your children like that as they will never get over it when they are older
Always believe your child. Address the issue with your mother and brother. Suggest therapy for your brother. Your son is just 3, he is still a baby. He isn’t going to make that up. He may not be uncomfortable around his uncle because he is just a baby and he trusts him and Confuses that behavior with playing and affection. Get help. Love your son and listen to him. But also get ur brother some help
What you just told about your own childhood would have been the reason why you shiuld have never let them alone with the kids! Im sorry but this is on you! How can you let Someone babysit your kids with what you’ve been through yourself.
Its your main job to keep your kids save and that is not what you are doing.
Police, medical assessment and possibly counseling
Not Sure if someone said this, but I do not believe in seeing my abuser(s) and/or my child’s abuser(s) “only if I’m there”… the moment they abused me/my child they lost ALL privileges and that’s non negotiable. If someone’s hurting my kid I’m not going to continue exposing my child to them. How traumatic, confusing, and definitely creating feelings of lack of safety and security.
Based on your comments about your own upbringing, why would you have even thought letting your small children be there unattended was okay in the first place?
Your mom has NEVER respected your boundaries, not sure why you think it would change bc you have children?
The fact that your 3 yr old has been sexually abused and he told you that and you never went to police is concerning.
Find another babysitter. Never leave your children with your parents/brother. Always protect and believe your child. Consider reporting to authorities. This is Not okay.
I’m baffled at how the kids not being in a routine etc was the start of this post… It doesn’t even rate in comparison to the sexual abuse… You all need counciling to learn boundaries.
I stopped reading at the brother either touching himself in front of the three year old or he’s touching the three year old. No way in hell I’d be sending my kids over there. Time for daycare.
You all need therapy.
I hope you’ve already decided to not take your kids there anymore. That shouldn’t even be up in the air. Find another sitter, 1 of you work an off shift, or stay home till you feel comfortable leaving your kids woth someone. I would immediate seek counseling and get him checked out. Seek a specialist thwt can figure out what’s been going on and take the appropriate steps, whether it’s calling the authorities or keeping your kids away until your family takes things more seriously. I wouldn’t take my kids there until mom puts your brother in counseling as well, even if your sons specialists decide thwt nothing major happened. Those are just huge red flags that I would not be able to ignore.
You need to protect your children and not allow them to be alone with your parents or brother with out your supervision.
Put your kids in daycare. RED FLAGS
Get your brother arrested . Your parents are gross for allowing it . How do you and your husband keep waiting ??? Your childhood was the same and your asking what to do ?? Scary that you or your husband never called the police by now . So your jobs are more important than your child being abused by parents and an uncle who are pervs . Apparently since you lived through you think it’s ok because you keep sending him there . Wtf .
Do you pay your parents for babysitting???if so and she doesn’t go by the rules,find another sitter,now, don’t let anyone mess with your children,period
You need to call the police or go to the police station and tell them what your 3 year old said. Your 3 year old told his father this happened. Your brother is a pedophile. You need to believe your child. You saying you don’t think your brother did this just proves you don’t believe your child. How can you not believe your child when your brother had sexually touched you and if he could sexually touch you wnat makes you think he won’t do the same to any of your children? And the fact you didn’t get the police involved and get your child checked out at the hospital is very frightening. If either of my kids came to me and told me that the police will be called and I would take my child to the Hospital to get checked out and I would make sure the person who did it would get arrested or the police would have to take the person away in a body bag.
You dont bring it up you tell them you have made other arrangements and leave them somewhere safe or look after them yourself
maybe its your turn to be mum and stay home and mind them till some get to preschool its a lot on poor mum
Keep them kids away from them… protect your babies, cut all contact call the police on your parents and brother its abuse. No more waiting around and allowing this to continue. Safeguard and protect your kids
I’d call the police. Never leave your children with any of them ever again. Book them into a proper day care
Find a different sitter, address it with your parents and your brother. He is 13. He knows right from wrong. Protect your child!!!
Your brother is being raised to be a pedophile. Don’t allow your child to be one too
First you immediately bring him to the hospital because he was molested. Secondly you call the police. I truly hope mamas uncut knows who you are and reports this. Your child was a victim of sa and you are ignoring that it probably happened to your other children also. You don’t deserve your children. I hope someone intervenes and gets your children the help they need because you’re useless. I can’t believe you are ignoring this. Why are you worried about confronting your parents and not worried about getting your son help. This whole post is beyond disturbing
The first thing you should have done is to report the abuse to CPS and police and put all of you in therapy. As a mama who had an abused child the second that child told me I took them to the hospital and got the ball rolling. You have pushed this aside because your own boundaries were violated, chances are your mom was also abused because to her it was normal to touch you inapropriately. This is all repeated patterns of behaviour that make you and your children vulnerable. My mother did the same when we were kids but not to the extent your mom did. You need therapy and to learn what healthy boundaries are and to cut that relationship off ASAP! The safety of your children is in your hands and if you dont protect them you will be putting them in more danger. Once abuse happens the likelihood of it happening again increases like 300% because you become vulnerable unless there is intervention such as therapy. Please do not play this down what happened it serious and you need to take action.
Here is an update:
We have removed our children from seeing my side of the family currently and have already reported. We do not pay my mother as I have explained. We had another care taker and that is my MIL. My MIL is now fully stay home, so we discussed this issue with her as well since she has dealt with issues like this herself. She said we did the right thing by just believing our 3 year old and reporting it. I did not state that and that is my fault. My question was to figure out how to discuss this with my parents as they can be manipulative and try and switch the issue around to being about them. We already had discussed it as well with them. They did not argue and they actually did not discredit what we told them our 3 year old said. My mother said she has my brother in counseling 3 times a week at his school. I feel that is not enough. He needs an actual therapist out of the home. Our children stayed with my MIL while we went and spoke with my parents. My brother was there. We all confronted him as well. We told him we made a report and will most definitely be hearing from authorities. My brother said he did not touch or hurt his nephew. In his own words he said “I would never do that. People who touch children are disgusting.” He also told us that he is hurt we think he touched his nephew and he is afraid we will not let the kids around him and my parents,but my husband and I said to him kids his age do not make things up. Our 3 year old is very aware that no one is to touch him. This is why we, even as his parents ASK if we can help him wash or wipe after baths or using the potty if needed. Other than that, our 3 year will voluntarily come to us and ask us to help him if he ever needs it. I told my mom that she is no longer watching our boys when I return to work. We are having my MIL watch them when I return back. My MIL use to foster kids and she’s had all types of children come in from bad situations and even adopted 6 kids that she fostered. We did offer to pay her since she is not working herself due to injuries that happened over the summer and she decided to just stay home after she was healed. My parents are clearly hurt and so is my brother. My brother was more hysterical than my parents. He kept saying he didn’t do anything. My husband said for now this is what is best until we all know 100% what is going on. I will add my brother comprehends things much slower than the normal child and my parents are aware of that as well. They never got him proper testing done nor care. He was put into speech therapy and other therapy to help with his learning disabilities when he was a toddler himself and my parents pulled him out because they said nothing was wrong with him he was just lazy and didnt want to talk or do his school work. I noticed signs and patterns my brother did as a young child himself and that he still will do today as a teenager. I told my parents they need to focus on my brother right now and focus on getting down to the bottom of this situation like we are because my brother does know between right and wrong. We are surely taking all the steps we need to and we are doing what we need to do regardless to ensure our children are safe. If it is proven that nothing happened, then hopefully this is the wake up call my parents needed to get their child the help and care he needs. We have not spoken to my parents since this discussion. All of our kids have already been seen by a specialist and examined and tested for anything they could need. So far there has not been anything found out of ordinary as of now. We are looking into child therapy as well. We will always believe children over adults. We never once doubted our child. Just so it is clear we have taken action. We won’t let our kids be ignored. We cannot afford for daycare as it literally is more than our mortgage x 3 hence why I have to go back to work soon. We cannot afford the actual babysitting costs for 3 kids. My MIL is happy to watch her grand babies. We know they will 100% be safe there. We appreciate the advice that was given even if it was advice we already have done.
Your brother is being groomed by your parents . It needs to end for his sake and your kids sake. You need to file a police report before he tells a stranger and it lands in your lap and your in trouble for not reporting it
Easy solution - look after your own kids then yourl have nothing to worry or complain about.
I feel like your looking for alternatives besides loosing your mom for childcare help if you bring all of this to light and let me tell you… there’s no way that your not going to loose your mother as child care and you shouldn’t want her to even be near your children. Your son told you that he was sexually assaulted by your younger brother and now your son is acting out sexually. That should have been all you needed to hear to call the police or CPS. Find somebody else to watch the kids. This abuse will not stop until your mother and your brother have no access to your children. And just think, if the brother is doing that to a 3 year old what is he doing to the other two kids that they can’t tell you about? Save your kids. Call the police
You definitely need to report it. Let the professionals talk to your child, and if it’s true, they’ll do what needs to be done. Find another sitter or daycare for the children and distant yourself from your parents
If you had such a traumatic childhood with your mother why in the world would you let her watch your kids? Even if you thought she was doing “better” with your brother, which obviously she isn’t. And if your brother is touching your children then that is sexual abuse and is a crime.
Report the abuse that’s nipping it in the bud. When it comes down to your child , they come before anyone absolutely anyone especially if something as horrible as this as occurred. If your mother brought you up and touched you in the ways you explained what makes you trust her with your own children? Confront them immediately and keep them away from your babies. That’s not something to come back from . Do not sweep this underneath the rug. If your brother did this to his own nephew he would do it to any other poor baby. You have to report it so it doesn’t happen to any other child and he is held accountable for his sick actions. Smh.
Look after your own flipping kids and keep them the fuck away from your family!! CUT THOSE FREAKS OUT OF YOUR LIFE ASAP
Call the police ! Stand up for your child and defend them ! Show them that you are there and will defend them against anyone , family members included!
Stop stop stop i see so many problems here no more mom watching your kids and definitely no 13 year old uncle touching penis’s come on
Don’t let your kids go over there without being present. There are programs for daycare, look into that. If there is ever a question about the abuse of your children in the care of your family members…you need to put their welfare first. Your brother needs help before it’s too late and he becomes a serious predator. That’s not a joke…he’s showing signs of someone that has been a victim himself and if he’s only 13, your mom needs to get him help, or he needs to be removed from that home. I’d call the police if it was my babies
How do you handle it you ask…
Tell your parents straight up…you will no longer leave your child in the hands of grandparents that doesnt protect them…
If your mom thought it was ok to grab your boobs and hit your crotch then it’s clear something is wrong with her…Its NOT ok…to EVER touch a child in that manner…its sickening…if my child told me that I would go straight to police…and dont take them around them people anymore…
Let the mama bear come out…Protect your babies!!
If your mom thinks it’s funny what your child is doing, they are not fit to be around your child and probably aren’t going to believe you when you tell them what your brother did to the baby. None of them should be allowed around your family.
Report the abuse, get a new babysitter, and get your child into counseling immediately! Enough said!
I think you should contact your local police department. Just explain to them that this is the first time you had to deal with a situation like this. Then you should take all your children to go get seen by their pediatrician. Just because only one is telling you about this situation doesn’t mean your other children weren’t touch inappropriately as well. Let the pediatrician know what the situation is. From there the pediatrician can give you outlets on resources of what to do next.
Is this a joke?
Are you seriously asking what to do when ypu know your family is inappropriate and dysfunctional?
Why are you ignoring that your child was sa? Why haven’t you gotten him immediate care? Why didn’t you immediately call the police? Why hasn’t he been seen by anyone? Honestly you don’t deserve your children. I truly hope someone intervenes and your children get the help they need
You don’t need advice you already know what to do
Yeah. You need to find different babysitters. Your mom sounds irresponsible and toxic.
You need to report it!! It’s sad and horrible u grew up in that environment but you cannot let your kids go through that… keep your kids away from your family period!! You and your husband will have to figure out work schedules or pay for daycare. And don’t let the cost of daycare let u bring them back to your moms!
That’s not something a 3 year old would make up. My daughter was abused by my ex. When my son was talked to by cps he said eww no. He wasn’t abused. They are brutally honest at that age and have no filters. My daughter was 7 years older and was able to hide it from me. She was threatened by the man so she hid it best she could from me… Do not take this lightly! Your brother needs removed from his parents! You need to file a police report to start it all. Or contact cps they will help you from there. By no means what so ever should you allow your children back in that house. My dear you also were abused growing up and that’s not acceptable at all either! ALL OF THIS NEEDS TO COME TO LIGHT ASAP!
Don’t let your kids over there at all better be safe than sorry
I can’t finish reading if a 3 year old days that. THEN IT HAPPENED! Please keep your baby away. I know it’s hard for childcare… But please remove them.
You need to tell your mom you need to tell your brother and do not let your mom watch those children anymore
something I learned about parents watching the kids for free, that suck is that wr either let them do it their way, or we dig deep in our pockets and pay a babysitter an absurd amount of money, but you cant have it both ways. ive learned that the hard way. The kids are growing up and no one will ever raise them the way you will…
Why would you ever let your kids around these people? You need to cut these toxic people off completely. You said you had a traumatic childhood so why are you trying to give your kids one too? These people need to be reported and you need to wake up and realize that you’re endangering your children.
you already said your mother is not going to watch your kids anymore, so that took care of that problem, But you should tell her why
Your little brother is or has most likely been molested. You should of reported this right when you found out. Not only for your child but your brother as well. Your parents house doesn’t seem to be a safe healthy environment and I would unfortunately cut all ties. Don’t set your kids up for failure and trauma that will carry out through their childhood and adulthood. Your brother should also seek the proper help. If the molestation started with your parents there will be no reasoning with either. I am going to try and say this without being disrespectful but Instead of being on social media asking for advise you NEED to hotline the situation and file a police report like NOW. You as a mother should always want to protect your children from any harm no matter who may be involved. Do not toss this under the rug like so many families do. Report it now and I recommend your child and yourself and husband to seek therapy now because it is A LOT to process.
Your brother needs help keep your miss away
Ummm I wouldn’t allow my mother to watch my kids anymore or my nephew in my house. Your job is to protect your kids, not worry about hurting someone else feelings.
Report it to the police, and don’t let them near your kids. Be ready for a shit show.
This shouldnt even be a question if you have the means to pay her you need to pay someone else and take your kids elsewhere. Talk with your family and take your kids out of that environment
Your child was sexually assaulted. You file a report with the police and then they will do an investigation. At that point it doesn’t matter if it’s your brother. “I don’t think he would do that” ALWAYS believe your child. Usually perpetrators are people we know and trust. Get both of these kids help and never trust your kids alone around your family again.
Seriously u should have put a stop to it the sec yr son mentioned the inappropriate touching. He doesn’t know any better…but u do
Please seek therapy for this is a long laundry list and no way we’re going to be able to give you the right help! Your issues run to deep!!! Tip: put your boys in daycare
Yes definitely keep your kids away from them
Confront this issue head on. Do not let your children around him at all. The consequences to your children will last well into adulthood if this continues. Tell your mom you will report this to the authorities if something is not done. If he touches your children he will touch others. Stop him now !
The fact that you even let your kids over there in the first place knowing the inappropriate groping and whatever else that you grew up with is absolutely shocking. Great grandma? Not even close. You yourself need some counselling and you need to report them. That is the only thing you need to do.
I can’t even read this to the end. You and your family all need help.
CALL THE POLICE. Like NOW. If he’s doing it to your kids what if he does it to someone else? What if your 3 year old does this to the baby? What if someone did it to your brother and that’s why he is doing it to your kids?! Holy fuck everyone needs therapy. This shit goes unchecked and it ruins peoples lives. You KNOW something is going on and if you choose not to react then you are ENABLING his behavior. Holy Fuck. Intervention may help your brother and your kids.
God damnit, say something to your kids doctor and they will refer him to therapy and the therapist Will do the police part. Anything
Call the police and go no contact your brother sexually assaulted your son
Take them to a day care instead of letting your mother watch them.
The reason so much of this behavior is never reported and stopped is because it’s ‘family’ and no one wants to hurt someone’s feelings or make waves. Don’t worry about someone’s feelings. I’m guessing if your mother did this terrible behavior to you she also did this to your brother. Stop the terrible cycle in your family for your children. Your brother is young he can still get help. Please be brave! You aren’t saying you hate your family you love them and want them to get help. Seek help! The authorities will help you to know what direction to go in. Ignoring the situation won’t make it go away. I think because you lived with sexual assault it’s making you feel powerless but you’re not powerless!! God bless you. You have reached out for help, so you are already saying no! Not my babies! Good job! Now go the next step and help your brother. I will be praying for you. If you’re to scared to confront them alone get someone to help you with that confrontation. Stay strong and get answers to your questions.
You did the right thing by removing them. You may need to cut all contact with them because there is no real change.
What you describe happening to you as a child ( nipple twisting, crotch hitting, griping etc…) is abuse. It has likely been done to your brother as well. Your brother is continuing the cycle of abuse with your children. Therapy may help you come to terms with being abused versus thinking it was normal. Your brother is also showing signs of abuse. Report your parents and your brothers behavior and keep yourself and kids away. You were abused. Your child has been abused.
Given what happened to you none of them would have ever been around my children. Certainly not alone with them. That is sexual abuse 13 or not. And it sounds like you were sexually abused yourself. It would be absolutely insane of you to continue to let them around your kids. Find someone else to help with childcare. Sexual abuse isnt something you should mess around about.
You have to do what is best for your boys… first! You mentioned you didn’t have the best childhood so you know deep down inside that you don’t want the same outcome for your boys… start looking for daycare now before you return to work and a day
Kids are a handful. Find a professional babysitter and pay the real babysitting price. Grandparents are expected to babysit - they are done babysitting and raising kids and should be allowed to enjoy their retirement age.