First why in he H*** are you even letting your mother keep your kids if you had a dysfunctional childhood? Second, if you have had issues with her not following your rules for your children, why do you continue to let her keep them when you have means to hire someone else? And third you need to file a police report asap idc who it is. A 3yrs old isn’t making this up! And lastly this shouldn’t be an issue in the first place (see First) Stop letting her keep them and keep them away from your brother for God’s sake
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You need a new babysitter. You also need to legally report your brother (family.)
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Whoaaaa!!! It is not normal for a parent to touch their child the way your mother and brother did when you were a child! And now you are allowing your children to be alone with these people?? Obviously it’s an issue if your mom did it …your brother did it And now your younger brother is doing it! The fact that he watches porn is not an excuse for why he inappropriately touched a child! A 13 yr old should know better! You are just allowing the cycle to continue and I think all of you could use some serious therapy!!! Jesus take the wheel
Just because you said, he said it once, doesn’t mean it’s happened only once. If he’s been touching you and your husband inappropriately, he’s being groomed. It sounds like your parents have been continuing this behaviour with your brother, just more careful when your around because you put boundries in place. You do need to report it, so your brother can get the help he needs so he doesn’t end up being a sexual predator. It would take a lot before I let my kids around any of them. You can’t watch you children at all times. Pedos are very sneaky and will prey at any opportunity. Why would you want them around them anyways.
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Turn your mother in for sexual abuse. Tell them it happened to you as a child and you fear it’s happened to your brother. Explain to them you thought the behavior wasnt an issue because it was your mom but now you know different. Take your son to a therapist. Tell your mother that your brother needs therapy. He could be angry at your son because shes moved on to him and your brother could be trauma bonded to your mother.
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My children wouldn’t go back.
Just bc it’s family doesn’t mean it’s not criminal and a problem. You simply sit down and tell them what’s going on. Expect them to deny it and get your children into therapy and never leave them there again.
Stop excusing bad behavior just bc it’s “family”. That’s the biggest problem this stuff never stops. The 13 yr old needs Jesus and I’d set up the meeting.
Y’all accept too much bs from toxic people you should keep it arms length or cut off.
Stop it.
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Your parents sexual assaulted you by grabbing you repeatedly as a “joke”. She’s probably done the same to your brother, don’t be naive in thinking that your brother wouldn’t do this. He’s literally watched it and experienced it happen to him his entire life. The cycle of abuse has continued, but you can put a stop to it. Call the police and have your child checked out like yesterday.
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Just a few ideas. The money you would be saving, not forking out for childcare, albeit family members, government or private child care, could be taken into consideration with the working roles you and your other half have at present. Maybe a change on you as parents could be imminent and a way of staying independent of who, how, why and when your children are without you, without causing others who take their time to be there whilst you both seem very busy to feel second best when you willingly leave your children with them.
I also suggest a family intervention so you can all communicate and work together to stay on the same page. Best of luck. Happy holidays 
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1- KIDS COME FIRST !
2- Get a real babysitter !!
3- do you pay her to take care of your kids ?
4- Are you on maternity leave or working ?? If your home why are your kids in this situation ? This is child abuse , State gets involved you could lose your kids. Hire a real sitter AND get the abusive one help and remove him from home. KIDS COME FIRST !
I would cut all contact,call the police,and get into therapy.Theres no way I would continue to let my mother watch my children any more.This happened to my oldest daughter twice and the cops were called.Family or not,you need to do something to protect your children
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I’m not sure why there’s any confusion as to what to do. No more contact with them. He’s touching your son. No confrontation needed. No contact. Call a therapist, turn them in, call child services, but ffs don’t let any of them around your kids.
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It sounds to me like you have confronted your mom and brother several times already. Confronting them is not working. Please, you know what you have to do, so do it. Remove these children from this situation immediately. It is not fair to them to be treated in this manner. The touching the penis issue happened. Children that little do not make these things up. Can you not afford to pay a sitter for your children? Personally I think your mother and brother would both bear watching. Never would I ever leave my children with them again. Eventually something terrible is going to happen. Please get your children out of that situation now, today, not tomorrow or next week. When something worse happens you will regret it for the rest of your life.
You say you don’t think your brother would do this well he already has and your child told you he did keep them away from your parents and your brother
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Remove the children from the abusive environment immediately and do not return them there. Set a firm boundary and do not deviate. Get your children into counseling and move forward accordingly.
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I would hire a real day care provider! My main thought is the sexual abuse. Sorry I stopped reading after your brother is known for pinching and stuff of the genitals and however it can be “normal” for children to explore bodies it is most definitely inappropriate and violating. You need to turn it in to your state. He is a minor so most likely if taken seriously he should do a special kind of therapy. But you most definitely have to keep your children away at all times and if that means grandma isn’t providing care then she’s just not and that’s the way it is. You are your child’s safe place. Make your child safe! There is specialized therapy for sex abuse victims as well. I’d think about putting your children into that. And please I beg you put them in a reputable daycare. There are levels these daycares go by. Do your research. D2l.org
When you have children, the role of “mom” moves to the top of the list of things you are. It’s less about being someone’s child, sibling, etc and more about being responsible for the health and well being of the children you created. You can see that your own upbringing was dysfunctional… if your 13 year old brother is acting inappropriate, it’s likely his was too. The buck stops with you! Protect your kids by making choices that insure the dysfunction doesn’t exist in their daily lives. It’s not about whether you pay her or not… it’s about making decisions that don’t perpetuate the cycle in the next generation.
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So many wrongs here. Get help
Maybe stay home and raise your own boys. 
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Time to change your daycare or stay home with your children
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Of course tell your parents what was said and what your suspicions are. Keep the kids from being alone with your mom and let her know that you are going to look into and get to the bottom of this and take whatever steps necessary to keep your children and any other children she has close contact with safe. Evidently she has a long history of inappropriate behavior and if you don’t want your kids to become another victim keep them away from her. Sounds like she has been grooming your brother for a long time so he needs professional help now. 
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I couldn’t even finish reading this my head was spinning!! Why in gods name would u have ur children around these ppl, I’m baffled family or not inappropriate behaviour with toddlers!! Alarm bells? No!? Wtf did I just read…
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You call the police. They do a report. Most likely they do a forensic interview to determine IF anything happened. Not everyone is fearful after a sexual assault- especially if grooming occurred - or honestly if it felt good. Honestly, it sounds like your brother needs therapy before this turns into a bigger issue— and I’m not gonna touch on what your mom did as you were a child. I think more is happening than what you are aware of. I would also be concerned about your child being exposed to adult content (even if he can’t register what it is now) due to the fact it’s Often your brother watching him.
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Call children protective service. They will tell you how you and your children can be helped. Also get help for your mother and your brother. The punishment for child molesting is severe.
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If you’re willing to pay your mother, then pay a reputable daycare and get them the hell away from those people!!!
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I’m just wondering why you would have let them watch your kids in the first place?!?! You said there was inappropriate behavior in your home growing up… What made you think it would be ok to trust them with your kids?? Not trying to come off as mean or anything but I’m extremely strict when it comes to who I trust my kids with! And if your son told you he was touched report it immediately!!! And if your son is touching you guys inappropriately( even tho he thinks he’s being funny) he obviously learned that behavior somewhere… If he didn’t learn it from his parents and he’s not around anyone else but the grandparents, he obviously got it from them!! So much wrong with this whole situation 
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Never allow any of them to watch your children again. They were inappropriate years ago and still are. Get your brother help before it gets worst.
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Go to the police first!!! Just tell your parents they will not be watching your children or have them unsupervised in their home. Put a stop to this NOW!!!
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I’m so confused with this post… Are you working or are you on maternity leave? If you are on leave why are your kids going over there regardless considering your son told you he was touched? There are so many red flags here I lost count and some of them stem from your parenting. I know 90% of the mom’s on this thread wouldn’t have hesitated to call the cops if their kid told them they were touched… You did nothing. You didn’t even confront your mom. You literally did absolutely nothing with the information your son trusted you with to keep him safe AFTER you yourself we’re SA in your parents care you still don’t believe your child?!
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Do not send them back into the grandparents care or your brothers and seriously stop talking to them. Your kids are being sexually abused and mistreated. It’s not enough to just have them stop babysitting you need to completely remove them from your lives and protect those babies!
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Ma’am… I delt with growing up dodging pedophiles and my family ignoring it. It has affected my life to this day and I am over 60.
Please don’t let this awful experience continue with your children.
Take them to a Pediatrician and report to him what has happened with your brother and your mom. They (doctors) are legally bound to turn this information over to the authorities. I understand the trauma that makes you feel question things as you endured this as a child.
Ask yourself this… if this was a stranger or a neighbor sexually abusing your children and your brother, could you ignore it? Please do not allow this to continue.
Once you have reported this please get yourself therapy. Children sexually abused by a parent or relative turn into adults that cannot function in this kind of situation because the shame they wrongly felt as children rears its head again.
It does not matter who these abusers are. They are pedophiles.
Get help for your children, your brother and yourself.
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Listen to your son!! I never in a million years thought my then step son would ever do anything to his little sister. But he did. Your brother is obviously in need of help. Report it! You don’t have to press charges, but you need to file a report. He needs help and your family needs support and your kids keeps kept safe! Toxic and abusive relationships are not something anyone should put up regardless of family or not. Protect your babies!!
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Your going to have to find a daycare
Not trying to be mean but if u grew up that way why would u take your kids over there. Yes you did the right thing removing your kids. They have already touched them . I know it’s family but they have some serious issues. As a mom I would be calling the cops to do a report about the touching. Keep your kids away from your family
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Tell your parents what was said and do not send the kids back over there. Stay home with them or find another sitter. Why risk it? Also call police and have it investigated. Just because you don’t THINK your brother would do it doesn’t mean he WOULDN’T or DIDN’T, especially if a 3yro is complaining about it or copying actions. I WOULD NOT allow your kids around them at any cost.
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Is this seriously even a discussion? You know dang good and well what needs to happen. These are your children and your responsibility to keep them safe. Absolutely tell your mom, brother send whoever else what your child said then tell everyone of them they will no longer be left alone with your children. Jeez I can’t believe you even need to be told that!
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If possible stay home with your kids. Safety is more important than money.
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You said “I don’t think my brother would do this” yet, you said your 3 year old told you he did…. You really need to reevaluate your decisions. Your little brother is obviously doin super concerning things. You just kinda swept it under the rug even after the horrible things your mom and brother did to you. Now you’re subjecting your CHILD to that?? You need help lady. Seriously.
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“I don’t think my brother would do this,” - that’s already not taking your children seriously.
“Does not seem afraid . . . Or uncomfortable,” - they don’t know what’s happening! Why do you think so many target little kids?
Who cares if he is your brother, what you NEED to do is sit down with your parents, and your brother and let them know what’s going on. What has been said, and that if anything is ever said again you will go to the authorities.
Do not care about their feelings. DO NOT care about burning bridges or anything like that.
Listen to your children. Believe your children.
Keep you and your children away from them.
Protect them.
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First thing is contact police immediately. Second get your son looked at by a pediatrician and then NEVER allow them around your kids again. I don’t even understand how you’d allow them around at all knowing they are capable of this. Your job is to protect them and you need to cut off all contact with your abusers and now your children’s abusers.
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I would stop letting the kids go there your right on that. Sit your parents down with your brother and tell them this is what is going on and let your brother know that he be removed from the home or go to prison for such behavior. Explain to them that your kids can only be there of you guys are around at all times. A 3 year old wouldn’t lie about that. I know it’s tour family and you don’t want to think that this is going on but it is. Listen to your child.
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Thats the problem parents don’t hear the kids! Stop having kids if u can’t take care if them sometimes family is the worst! Stay hm !! Watch them urself !
Sounds like your brother needs some help. Definitely listen to the little one. I’d consider yourselves lucky he’s able to articulate and feels comfortable with you and your husband to tell you what’s going on. In which case is his way of asking you to make it stop and protect him.
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If this already happened with you then it’s definitely happening. Put him in day care asap and only have your mom come watch them at ur house. That’s it till you can get him out of there. It may not be more than just touching right now but I can definitely lead to more if you don’t stop it.
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PLEASE listen to everyone here and save your children!!
Call the police and cut contact completely.
Your child has been sexually assaulted! Listen to him and save him from further injury.
It is your responsibility to protect your children.
Even if it’s your family who has done this, don’t be afraid to do what is right and report them.
If you let this go, your children will be injured further and the damage will be much worse and harder to heal.
PROTECT YOUR CHILDREN!!
Your brother needs help. He’s a pedophile and most likely been sexually abused by your parents.
If your son had told you a babysitter at a daycare had touched him inappropriately like this, would you even hesitate to report them? I would hope not.
Being family is not an excuse. There’s no way in HELL that I’d EVER let them around my children again!!
PLEASE. SAVE YOUR CHILDREN and STOP THIS CYCLE OF ABUSE!!!
How is this even a question?!
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I hope the admins of this page call the police to you. You are a HORRIBLE mother for leaving your children with people who sexually abused you, and are now doing it to your kid. Piece of trash!!
Do not take your children back there, and please get your son in therapy. Childhood sexual abuse can have a profound impact on him and he’s only 3 he does not have the capacity to process that on his own. And I’d suggest your mother do the same for your brother, he clearly needs some kind of help.
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Stop allowing your kids around your brother period. Children do not lie about this stuff, they don’t have the knowledge or mental capacity to lie about such things. If you don’t put a stop it and address the situation then your child may start to feel that it’s okay for this to happen to him. Your parents need to know about this and your brother needs to be confronted- along with counseling, but that’s on your parents. I wouldn’t allow your kids back to your parents house unless you are there with them.
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Now you know good and well that your parents are freaking sexually abusing your kids and your making excuses I got sick to my stomach reading this garbage ! You know what to do. !!! Why you asking here , go ask your local DHR / CPS. , police and see what they tell you 
gee this hit me wrong sorry not sorry
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Why would you let them watch your kids? Why put them in that kind of danger!
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You should be reported for allowing this to happen
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Would NEVER have a mother like that watching my kids. She sexually assaulted you as a child multiple times. I’m so sorry.
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Take your kids out of this situation immediately. Don’t let your kids go back there
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No you never should have had your kids over there in the first place Point Blank. If you had to grow up with that stuff you should never have put your children around that I don’t feel sorry for you you need to get your kid in counseling and you should probably report your parents. My dad was terrible for me when I was young and I would never ever dream of having my kids around him. To be quite honest I feel like I hate my mother more for even having me around him than I actually hate my dad. Sorry to be harsh but not really sorry you have one job
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Um please take your kids out of there and get an in home babysitter
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The question is why do you want to have a relationship with people that hurt you and may hurt your children. You need to cut them off right now. This is bad.
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Why is it even a question as to what you should do! Protect your children! I would not let my children around any of them and file a police report.
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I have no words ! JUST WOOW! If this happened to me as a child I would in no WAY let my baby’s go there to these people!! TF why risk it??? Either stay home with ur kid’s or get them in day nursery!!! I would be livid
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Why would you even let them go over there anyway with the history of sexual misconduct? You probably need to get CPS involved, because if it gets out that your child was touched inappropriately and you suspected or knew about it and didn’t do anything, you could be charged with neglect.
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I didn’t finish reading the whole thing because I’m not sure what you’re unsure about…… just report it and take your kids somewhere else!!!
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Removing your kids is step 1. Telling your parents about what your son said is next. And please get your child into therapy and speak with authorities. If your brother did this, it is very likely that something is happening or did happen to him and he’s acting out by doing it to other children.
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I’m not sure confronting them is going to do a single positive thing for you.
You offered to pay, pay someone else you can trust BECAUSE they are not safe there.
You grew up with that so you may not fully understand how wrong it is, that’s common. No more unattended visits, at least until kids are old enough to protect themselves and form fully functional sentences to tell you what’s happening- even then it’s a risk I wouldn’t take.
You need to make a decision, and stick to it. Find another babysitter.
Do not let any negative comments drag you down- sometimes when we are abused it’s our normal. We don’t see how messed up it really is.
Don’t let it be their normal.
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Call the cops stop this enabling bs no more interaction with w your parents and brother! Wtf
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Your mom’s behavior is very inappropriate… I’m assuming someone did this to her as a child too. You have to be the one to stop this behavior with you and not let it carry on with your children. Which means do NOT leave your children with your family. Look for other daycare options. Your family is not safe, I’m sorry.
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Your mom and brother are way beyond toxic. I’d cut all ties with them bc my kids safety comes first, period.
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I couldn’t even finish reading this!!! You are their advocate. Their safe place. You knew going into the situation what the past was. Fix it. Get your children out of there!
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I’m sorry but if you continue to allow your children over there 1. They will be sexually abused by grandma and uncle multiple times and 2. They will grow up and possibly act out or abuse others. You don’t want this for your children. Find other daycare…
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As an outsider looking in, there is not question to even be asked. Your mother should NOT care for your children, period. Your brother should not be allowed around your children, period. Please seek help from authorities concerning the sexual abuse from your brother toward your son. I’m sorry to say this about your brother but those are the makings of a sexual predator.
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Find someone else to watch your children for gods sake
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Don’t use them or your mom as sitters. Child care /daycares can be wonderful places…. Problem solved
She already stated that her mother and brother are not allowed over so shes obviously trying to find a better babysitter. She was just looking to see if there were any other routes she could take.
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No free childcare is worth damaging your kids!! Why would you ask this? Keep the kids away from your parents home… period! Too much dysfunction going on there. Time to take them to counseling to undo any damage already done to them by your brother.
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Confront everyone including the 13yo …….
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Firstly pay for a reputable child care worker or centre but don’t alienate grandma and uncle as it may not be true. At that age the child may have seen something on TV so engage a child therapist to get to the truth then report to the authorities if it’s of an unsavoury outcome
Unfortunately, I think your upbringing has clouded your judgment. I think you’ve been gaslighted your whole life because you spoke up about your moms inappropriate actions and now you don’t have a lot of confidence in your instincts. That’s going to take some time to repair and I highly suggest cutting your family out of your life and get some therapy for yourself so you can think more clearly.
You were basically molested by your mother and now your 3yo has been molested by your brother.
You need to press charges against your brother immediately and get your son into therapy as well.
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Find another babysitter period.Whats more important a safe place for your kids to be cared for or free babysitting…
hello…
Get your child away from that monster before you destroy him.
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Take your son to a therapist. They can get him to open up about this better than you can. And if they find any evidence, take action. Before it does become a much bigger big problem. This is not something to take lightly…
If your brother is molesting your 3 year old you need to get the law involved and call child services on your mother. Get your 3 year old a child therapist so you can find out what really happend
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You don’t talk to him about it yet you let a dr do this or you can be accused of leading the child
And you are bringing this to Facebook and not the police…because??? If I ever even thought someone touched my child regardless of who it was, I would be smiling in my mugshot, not asking strangers for advice
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I would absolutely never allow my child to be in the care of someone who treated me like that as a child I don’t care if it saved me money that is completely inappropriate and the child is clearly picking up on that behavior keep you child safe and far far away from those people also go to the police idc who it is
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You already know the answers
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First call the police, second get a day care for your children that includes your older children too and if mom can’t watch your 3 year old she cannot watch your older kids as well . And third get yourself a good paying job or two jobs because you’re going to need it for daycare
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I would have it investigated. If your brother is touching your son inappropriately, he needs the help and or punishment deserved. If he in fact sis do this, it won’t stop at your son. Report this incident and let it be investigated properly or your brother may hurt other children
Doing nothing about this would be wrong. Always protect the innocent children. The behavior you have described growing up does not sound normal at all. Why would your own mother touch you and your brother like that? There would be no way in hell my kids would ever be with those kind of people
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I don’t even know why your asking. Red flags everywhere. Hire a proper babysitter.
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Enroll your children in day care. Problem solved.
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Please get yourself some counseling this has no place on Facebook it will never go away it will always be there.
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If you’re not happy stay at Home and mind you’re own kids end off
Grandma rules!!! End of discussion! You r mom. Grandma’s have different rules for our grandkids…
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Stop questioning yourself, you know how and what your mother did to you and your brother don’t allow it to be done to your child. Get away from the monsters and stop allowing the gas lighting. YOU are your child’s voice and he didn’t just come up with this out of the blue. Someone touched him and it’s up to you as his mother to handle it. You said you didn’t think your brother would do this but I’m sure you didn’t think your mother would either yet you clearly stated she thinks it’s funny. NONE of this is funny and the police needs to be contacted immediately end of story.
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Don’t let them around the kids unsupervised and make sure both you and you’re husband are there so if one of you leave the room the other one is still there keeping an eye on things.
Absolute disgusting behaviour and clearly they haven’t changed since you were a child and now you’re brother has got so much worse because of you’re mother.
If that ever happened to my kids or I had a childhood like you I would never ever leave my kids with those sorts of people period
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If she is paid, stop payment. If it is free to her, fire her.
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I went thru this when my daughter was 2. I didn’t know what to do either bc my kids dad told me I was crazy and just being a bitch towards his dad (the predator) I went to dss the next morning and found out A LOT more was going on. She had to go to forensics. The predator confessed when the investigators and police showed up. He is now in prison. He was 50. She was 2. I didn’t know I was doing the right thing. But it all worked out in the end. He won’t be released until she is 18-21. But she won’t be younger than 18. People say they forget but she hasn’t fully.
I think you should see your child’s pediatrician first and see what they recommend. Or even a counselor. Someone who is a profession with these situations. I’m sorry youre dealing with this bc this is one of a parents worst fears. And the fact that it’s family makes it so hard. But is he is messing with your son he needs help too. You may end up saving both of them.
The aggression you witness between your brother and your son, and then your son saying he was touched inappropriately
Those 2 alone scream that your brother is molesting your son
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You need to find a babysitter that can come to your house. I would never allow your children alone with your mom!
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This is a safeguarding issue. Those children should never be back neat your brother until this is resolved. It needs reporting and your child will need to speak to specialists to find out exactly what went on. If rhis was my child, I wouldn’t be asking strangers on Facebook what to do, soon as I found out my children would never be back near him and he would be reported, brother or not!
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Definitely need to call the police and make a report and get this taken care of asap.
A child of 3 does not have the capability to make up stories of being touched inappropriately. You need to get the police involved your mother and brother need help, mental help just confronting won’t be enough. If your mother grabs your brother she is sexually abusing him, if you don’t get him help now you will just allow the cycle to continue. I am willing to bet your mother was treated the same way, as well as the parent that did that to her. The cycle can be broken with proper counseling. You can even talk to a CPS worker about your mother and brother. This behavior needs to be stopped I would never let my children alone with my parent or sibling if I were in your shoes. Think of how you felt when your mother did that stuff to you, do you want your children to go through that thinking it is normal? I think you know what to do you are just too afraid to do it.
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Just because they are your family does not mean they are the best babysitters. M
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Yeah, idek why you would leave your kids with your mom in the first place, esp after you said she used to touch you too and do things in front of you. Just wierd… none of this is okay.
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