It’s crazy how much a woman will get herself through when she has her kids watching her as their example. Screw your soon to be ex. You deserve better. You got this!
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The thing that really I bothers me is they moved across county, she was a stay at home mom, then he drops this bombshell
On her, seems to me like he had this all planned before they even moved! Stay strong for your kids, consult a attorney, you will get through this
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May GOD Bless you I know the feeling ….twice
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I would pack my kids up and the bare essentials and go back to family before paperwork gets filed. File first in your home state so he can’t claim residency in his state.
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Be strong! You will survive and have a better life.
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Before there is anything in writing regarding custody arrangements get situated and have those babies with you. Establish resistance ( unless he is leaving the home) whether it be where you currently live or go back home. How long ago did you move across country? If it was very recent and you do want to move back home, hurry before jurisdiction is established in your new state/county! That way you can go ahead and file for divorce and custody (unless you think the kids would be better off with dad / or if you feel you are unfit (none of my business) ) I’m only saying these things because I have been in a similar situation. I would not want to be stuck in a state away from my family. It almost sounds like he planned this. You don’t usually just up and leave someone. You make a plan if there are kids involved. I could be wrong of course.
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Move back home, find a job, get a lawyer, seek for child support. YOU GOT THIS MOM🥰
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Talk with an attorney before making any decisions, especially decisions involving your children.
Get your support system together-even from far away, they will be able to provide love and resources to help you during this transition. DO NOT TAKE YOUR CHILDREN OUT OF STATE until you have an attorney to advise and guide you through this process. I hope everything works out well for you-take care of yourself and those littles. 
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If you have one- Get back to your support system right away! I’m so sorry
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I have no advice, j just wanted to let u know ur not alone. After 22 yes and 3 kids mine said the same. I’m not even sad…numb but not sad
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Pennsylvania requires that you be state residents for 6 months before you can file. So he may have to wait anyways.
Gee the same way guys have to all the time
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I would tell him he has to pay for my move closer to family. Also look into some counseling. There will be times where you might feel like just can’t do this anymore bit you can. Hang strong! God is greater.
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Snatch some money from the bank accounts and leave while he’s at work
There are ppl out there that will again love u. Don’t give up hope, let the ass go!!
Go back home where your family is, take just what you need. Do this before anything is put in writing and do it quietly, he does not need advance warning. Good luck
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Find a therapist and a lawyer. In that order.
MOVE BACK HOME TO YOUR FAMILY NOW!!! …. Everything else can be sorted out as you go , but you absolutely need to get home before any legal paperwork is lodged to stop you. Sending you love and strength 
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Don’t think the worst be strong and positive
Well for 1 thing you have the upper hand right now. He will have to pay you spousal support and child support bc he was the primary supporter. Make sure you file first too. Dont wait to see what happens. I have never been married but know plenty of women who have been through this. Good luck mama
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You will get through it. It will be so much harder not being near family. You might try going to your church and finding new friends and fellowship there. Working and keeping busy will help. Important for the children is to keep them unaware of the friction and what you feel for the person you married and I assume whoever he left you for. Keep your opinions of the father of your children between him and yourself. Perhaps you might need counseling. Get a good lawyer and make sure settlements are fair to you and your children.
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Move back to where you have everyone and take the kids with you then dad can sort out the access and visitation. It’s not an over night decision to make and was possibly not happy at the time of the move so that shouldn’t have happened as that’s not fair on you
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YOU WILL ALWAYS BE A MOTHER KEEP THIS IS MIND, MEN COME AND GO (SORRY TO SAY IT THIS WAY) BUT, YOU CANNOT ALLOW YOURSELF TO GET DEPRESSED AT ALL, YOU WILL NEED TO USE THAT STRENGTH AND ENERGY TO MOVE FORWARD, FIRST GET A LAWYER, DONT GO ANYWHERE YET UNTIL U SEEK PROFESSIONAL ADVICE SAYING OTHERWARDS TO DO SO, 2nd GET YOURSELF A PROFESSIONAL TO SPEAK TO AND HELP U THROUGH THIS JOURNEY, 3RD GOD DOESNT GIVE ANY OF US MORE THEN WE CANT HANDLE, I WISH YOU ALL THE BEST GOING FORWARD! GIVE HIM WHAT HE WANTS BUT THEN GO GET WHAT U DESERVE IN LIFE! (CLEARLY HES NOT IT)
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I agree with u Christine brown
Clean out the account, take the kids and go back home.
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Itll take some getting used to but you got this mama . You dont need someone that doesnt wanna be woth you . You will heal and come out on top just keep your head on straight. Itll be hard at first to get used to but you got this
Move back where your family is or where you moved from and you will have the kids more than half the time.
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First of all! Breathe Mumma.
So sorry you’re going through this.
Stay strong for your babies and take everything one step at a time. Maybe you get the house and he can do all the hard stuff, as he’s the one wanting out.
Don’t have much advice, but cry 
as much as you need to away from your children. Let it all out. You got this! X
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Has anyone ever done an uncontested divorce if the husband is civil and a genuinely good person or do you still recommend a divorce lawyer for fairness?
Step one get a lawyer!
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Happened to me years ago, I moved back home.
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While y’all are still married and nobody has filed anything through court, you need to get back home to your family and file there!! Also, depending on state you could get alimony and child support. For Texas you must be married for 10+ years, and can get alimony until you can get on your feet. It was designed for women who don’t have a work history to help get back in the work force.
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Leave and go back home before the divorce.
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You are stuck there if you divorce there go back home now! Live with family get on your feet.
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go back home before you divorce so he will have to pay transportation for visitation and you are filing in your own state…file for full custody in your home state.
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Get your ass back to your family quick! File in your home state. File for full residency and get a lawyer.
I am going thru the same thing right now it’s hard but I will get thru it COURT IS A JOKE HERE THEY DONT FOLLOW THEIR OWN LAW. Pm if u want to chat
You’re commenting in a public group/page . Anyone can see this post in the cyber world. You may want to get all the info you need from this post and then delete it. I’m so sorry this is happening to you. Protect yourself by being careful about your posts.
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Well you make him pay child support you make him pay alimony and get a job I’ve done in my whole life I’ve raised my kids alone
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How long have you been here? The state you are from holds jurisdiction of the kids for like 6 months, take the kids home and file there.
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Go home where you have a support system and file for divorce there. If you/he establish residency in the new state and file there you are stuck. Since you’ve been out of the workforce for at least 6 years it’s not going to be easy to find employment that will meet your financial needs.
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Get the best lawyer you can and make him pay Allimony and child support. Then, move back home with your kids, if you want
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You can’t move and file just like that. You have to be a resident of the state for 6 months usually.
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Move now before you guys have established residency. But double check with a lawyer
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One thing, talk to a lawyer. He may have just moved across country to get you away from loved ones, friends, etc., as part of a scenario where things work out better for him, financially, as well as being able to potentially hide money/equity from your old house. (That’s a common tactic of men who want control, to get you away from your own support team).
Per my divorce lawyer: “When a man wants a divorce, it’s usually because of another woman”. So true!! “Yet women are the ones who usually want a divorce”. Also, “It’s war”— sorry, but “true” again. Every time I’ve heard divorce stories, the man will lie, cheat and steal— anything, to come out better financially… every time. They can be sneaky as hell(!!!), from what I’ve seen, again and again! 
And you can check, but he may have to pay for your divorce costs. I wonder what the divorce laws are in California, compared to where you used to live?? Cuz in Florida, women are more protected, financially.
God Bless you. It is a hard, hard time. Nothing like having the rug pulled right out from under you, unexpectedly so. 
But…… in time, you will Re-invent your life with your kids. And they usually don’t want to take kids from their Mother, so they may live more with you, I would think. That was the consoling advice I got from my dear, sweet uncle, years ago.
And I always spent weeknights with my kiddos only (no b/f’s). You’re busy enough, without having your weeknight schedule with the kids uprooted.
Sneak around and look for any record of hidden money. I actually found a gift under the seat of my ex’s vehicle that he’d gotten for his g/f, when looking for an umbrella, while we were still residing at the same home. Surprise, surprise!
Keep loving your kids. Your love will carry you through, growing over the years, with more and more new dangled memories. And I Re-invented our Christmas tree stuff all together. They each got to decorate their own new table top tree. You too, will find your path, through holidays and all your days together, Mama. 
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Pack now and move back home to your parents or a friends house before filing for divorce.
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So sorry you and your kids have to go through this. It’s very important you move back to what’s familiar and to where your family or support is. Don’t delay or wait to see what happens. It could get real messy for you if you procrastinate
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Go back to your family!!! Go home! File for sole custody and child support ! Make him pay alimony
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Go back home and get him for child support
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Go back home. Let family help you get back on your feet.
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Talk to a lawyer but get back home ASAP… if he has established residency and files first…he can keep to there. He did this…go home… and make him have visitation… you will have them more than 50% of the time. Keep quiet about your plans…dont tell anyone anything except the people on your end that can help get you home and settled.
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Find out what you he laws are in your state. If he allows it, consider to Ng back where you have dam ly and friends. Find a support group. Stay in the home, he moves he pays. Find a school and day care. Blessings
Is he talking at all? Where is this conversation BG from? You may not change him but you deserve answers
Run, run, run, I’m so sorry for your predicament, please listen to the advice You’re being given, go back home, he’s going to go all out for what he wants for himself, if you think he wouldn’t do that to you think again, I have first hand knowledge of what they are capable of, please God it all turns out better for you, God Bless. 
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Well YOU file first there are many benefits to being the one to file for the divorce and also most of the time you have to file in the county that you got married in so there is that to consider … second get a job asap the good news is everyone is hiring . Third he won’t have them half the time when parents live that far apart he will get them a few weeks in the summer and maybe a week for Christmas or even spring break… half time with school and such isn’t realistic or in the best interest of the child but that will all be worked out in the visitation agreement .
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Go home NOW! With the kids leave while he’s gone! File for divorce and get a lawyer!
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Call family and see if you, the kids and your stuff and stay with them. If he doesn’t want to try then it’s time to roll.
Pack your kids up and go back home, where you have support. What a dick! Who moves their wife and children to the other side of the country and then says they want a divorce?! If he’s requesting the divorce, then you have zero loyalties to him anymore. You need to do what’s best for you and your children, which in my opinion, is to move back home, where you have friends and family for support. I would make it clear that, since he is the one who forced the move, and then requested the divorce, that you’re not going to stay in a place that’s foreign to you. Not only does it take a village to raise a child, but you need a support system after the emotional rollercoaster that is a divorce.
Hire an attorney…NOW
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Love yourself most importantly finding yourself again
Find your true worth and not what he thinks of you
You are strong, brave , courageous and beautiful
Don’t ever let anyone define you
Go out and truly love yourself
Success and true happiness are the ultimate revenge and once you truly master yourself , revenge won’t even cross your mind
Us women need to life one another up and truly encourage each other to love ourselves how we love our daughters, our sisters, our friends , our mothers, etc
Be the women the little girl version of you needed 
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Go back to where you are from
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Vance’s are he doesn’t want them 50% of the time.
Like so many have already said…. Plan now and go. As quickly as he sprung divorce on you. Don’t chase him or wait for answers.
Don’t wait, move back where your support is, do it quick and quiet!!!
Once you are back file for divorce. He won’t know what hit him and he’ll be the one bewildered and confused.
Stay strong 
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Girl you better listen. Move! You can cry later. Think of your kids. Move back to where you have family & friends. You are going to need their emotional support. Immediately get a lawyer & file for divorce. Get a job. If you drag around in your feelings hoping he’ll change his mind you can really get messed up by this guy. He will do it if he can & you can best believe he’s being advised to do so by his people!
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Well instead of all the comments saying run/ take him for all he has got …… maybe sit down and see what his plans are and see if you can come to a mutual amicable agreement. See what he wants out of it and what you want out of it and if then it gets nasty go to court
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You put your Big Girl panties on & be your kids mom, Get a lawyer, say Good Bye to your husband , get a job & live your life. Will tell you, you might not be able to move back home, if he already file papers, If not, move back home
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Just go back home to your family with your kids and leave him there as that’s what he wants is a divorce
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Wonder what u did to him to try an move cross country to work it out cuz no man moves cross country for no reason
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Check out why he wants a divorce. ADULTERY MAY HAVE ALREADY HAPPEN.FIND OUT THE REASON AND RUN NOT WALK TO A LAWER.KEEP ALL INFORMATION YO YOURSELF.BEEN THROUGH IT MYSELF .Good luck .
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You put one foot in front of the other, hold your head up and reach out to a divorce lawyer and start the process. Don’t let the fact that you were a SAHM mom for so many years, cloud your judgement. There are programs and lawyers and resources to help you. Reach out to your family and tell them situation and ask for help. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. You’ve got this. Don’t try to stay in a situation where he’s already decided that he’s done. Don’t agree to anything without having a lawyer look it over.
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Wow. What a POS. No man thats worth anything would ever leave his wife with nothing and no where to turn with 2 young children when she’s still willing to work it out. He probably won’t want the kids 50% of the time. What an absolute loser. I’m so sorry. You need to file first and get a lawyer immediately before he tries to screw you out of everything. Why would he wait until you move across the country to do this? And come on he couldn’t wait until after Christmas for you and the kids. He obviously doesn’t love you and he doesn’t give a crap about anyone else or their feelings. He’s selfish. Any man that would do this like that is not worth it. Its a horrible thing to do. If there are problems in a marriage you’re meant to work on them not just give up. Unless there’s abuse or addiction or something really toxic couples should always try to work it out especially if one is really willing, and the financial aspect is heavily tilted to benefit only one person. If he ever loves you he would ask for space nit a full on divorce with no regard for your situation or feelings. It sounds like this came from no where and you didn’t even know things were this bad for him. He probably has another woman. Im So sorry. I hope you 2 can work it out and maybe he’s just overreacting but prepare yourself for the worst and hope for the best. At the very least he owes you some explanations.
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Start by moving back closer to family. Once that is done you file for divorce there so that way it helps keep the ball in your court
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Well I would hire a lawyer-and explain to your husband you want to move back by family, and he will need to help fund that as you get on your feet.
Just because he wants a divorce doesn’t mean you need to just sign the papers all willy nilly.
Its sad. But until that paper is signed and agreements are made you both need to amicably get yourselves in a good spot.
Just kinda saying.
Not every divorce needs to be horrible. Just gotta hit common ground and not resent him.
Although your sad would you rather be alone and have the ability to grow with someone who wants to help you grow with them or stay married to someone who doesn’t want to be there and lead that example to the kids?
Make a plan. Keep emotion out of it. And go grow mama!
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Sometimes when one door closes a bigger one opens
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Get on your knees and pray for God’s grace and mercy. He has the answers for you. You and your family will be ok .
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You now need to pull yourself up get income ,secure a place to live divorce doesn’t happen quickly get you’re head right you u can do this
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Take it one step at a time. Do you have family where you lived before? Get in touch with them. Tell them honestly what has happened. If you can get there, do it. Do you have decent and safe transportation to get there? You do not have to be forced to stay where you are away from everyone you know. Find a lawyer who will help you figure out the legalities but don’t worry that all now. One thing at a time.
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Does he has 401 make sure you can draw some of that n social security of his for the kids n you make him paychild support n alimony for you
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Do you have any family or friends that could come to you for comfort and support??
Hug your babies as often as you feel like it… it’s what gets me through this
Time . I went through this too almost 10 years, highschool sweethearts, with a 3 year old at the time. At first I was devastated but slowly built myself back up and realized I was much happier without him… just took time and realization. Splitting time with ur children never get easier for you, but you can make it easier for them by showing maturity through it and that even though mommy and daddy are together anymore doesn’t mean we don’t love you equally, that’s why we do split time to be given the opportunity to equally grow with you in life 
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Pull up yr big girl panties and show him how strong you are, that’s how you do it
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Did he move you out away just so he could seclude you so you would have no help and no option to keep the kids from him?
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Get bank/investment/money statements ASAP. Move home w kids b4 any paperwork is filed. Get a good lawyer.
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Sometimes your greatest disappointment and sorrow in life leads to something much greater and more beautiful . life may seem like the steepest mountain to climb right now but your path is still being paved. You will come out a stronger more confident person.
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Take your kids and move back to where you have a support system
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Except if you will be worse off
Get a job and carry on !! Your kids are gonna need you more then ever !! It’s not easy but better to alone then unloved
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Pray and ask God to order your steps honey he will get you through this
Go back home, with your children, go to court, get alimony and custody. You deserve your support system.
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Sink or swim. I decided to swim. You will to. Sending warm thoughts and a hug your way. 
Child support and alimony applies in this case.
You WILL make this .so sorry 
men suck
Prayers sweetie.
Look for daycare and a job… maybe move back home. Don’t let him decide for you.
He moved you across the country then did this? What a POS.
If you haven’t been at the new state for six
Months move back to your family and establish residence before he files.
He did this on purpose. He had to have known he wanted a divorce before he moved you clear across the country.
I am so sorry you have to go through this. I’m sure, this is a terrible shock. And I know you want to know why now? Why after such a big move?
But for now you must gather your strength and your wits and plan for your children and your future.
Try to convince him to see a therapist with you, if only to make the separation and subsequent divorce amicable and easier on the children.
If he is against any mention of working this out, you must start making some plans on your own.
Gather all important documents such as your marriage license, birth certificates, bank statements, credit card statements, bank statements, vehicle registrations and titles.
Make a list of all your assets, date of purchase and receipts
Make a list of all debts and all background information.
Make a list of all credit card account numbers, bank account account numbers, and balances.
Get copies of his cell phone account statements. Scan the statements for numbers you do not recognize. Find out who these numbers belong to.
Snoop through his phone if you can. Check his photos and texts. Forward to yourself and take pictures of all suspicious texts.
Check any computer he may have used. Check his browser history. Screen shot all suspicious activity.
Go through his social media, all of it. Take pics of all suspicious activity.
Make an appointment with a local divorce attorney.
Do NOT tell hubby about this appointment.
Take all this documentation to the lawyer’s appointment.
Find out what you can expect as to the amount of child support and spousal support in this state.
Find out if you would be better off if you moved back home immediately and filed in your previous state rather than file in this state.
Sit down with hubby for a calm discussion.
Have a notepad ready and take notes. Videotape also if possible.
Ask him why he wants a divorce.
Ask him what he considers a fair amount of child support?
Ask him what he considers a fair amount as spousal support?
Ask him what he considers a fair visitation schedule?
Ask him what he considers a fair amount for child care?
Ask him if he would pay for you to get some certification, training, education that would make you more employable.
Ask him how long he would continue to support the household?
Make detailed notes of everything he says.
His answers to these questions will give you an idea of whether he is willing to be fair in his dealings with you.
Ultimately the courts will decide on support and visitation and the rest but you will have an idea of the kind of man your husband is.
Could you get a part-time job, work while he has the children?
Save every penny
I would contact family.
Is there any way that you can go home? Perhaps stay with your parents or siblings for awhile.
Would family be willing to help with childcare so you can work?
Based on where you plan to live, make up a budget for monthly expenses.
This will be difficult. But you can do this, you can rebuild your life with your children and emerge a stronger, happier person.