How do I explain to my kids that their dad and I are getting a divorce?

I’m sorry you’re going thru this. My advice is to keep affirming to the 5 yr old that you both love your little one and thats not changing but Daddy is going to live elsewhere but they will see him. This is hard but thru the grace of God you will persevere. I’m a prayer warrior and I will pray for you, your spouse and the children. God bless y’all always.

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My ex husband and I divorced when our twins were 6 months old. It was very hard. They were confused bc they didn’t understand why daddy and mommy was not together. If they are with their dad. They cry for me knowing I’m not staying where daddy is. They are now 5. Since you have 2 older kids. Just explain that daddy and you aren’t together anymore. And they will have 2 houses meaning 2 Christmas and birthdays etc so on. They usually like that. It will be a hard adjustment but the kids will get through it.

Just keep commiting with each other when it comes to the children. No matter how you feel about each other that’s not the children’s problem. You are their mother and he is their father.

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You are going to have to make it as simple as possible. When my daughter’s father gone to jail after I had left him I was not sure of the correct way to explain it to a 3 year old. And as I told her daddy I made some bad choices it has to go sit in a big boy timeout. When he’s done with his time out he will get to come and see you. You truly need to keep it as simple as possible and try to keep emotions out of it.

Probably grow up and realize that you need to stay together, make it work for your family. Many people do

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My daughter was 3 at the time and I just told her daddy is staying here and mommy and you are going to grammas until we find our own place .

Don’t give up!!! Go to therapy! The kids need you guys!!! Find each other again! You loved each other to bring a 3rd child in the world !! Try to make it work! Best of luck

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They won’t understand what divorce is. Whichever one is moving out just explain that ya’ll are going to be living in different houses. That means ya’ll have two bedrooms now. One here and one at so and so. Have the parent that doesn’t have the children all the time be able to talk to them. When the child wants to talk to that person, call. Video calls work well also with them young. My daughter was 4 when I divorced.

You both tell them . The problem is at such a young age will they understand :disappointed: . Idk maybe if dad got his own place and the children visit the older might ask why and then start from there. So sad for the parents n children…

My grandkids are 5 and 2. It was explained simply that Dad was moving out. They would stay with mum and stay at dads at the weekends if he wasn’t working. Took a few days for them to settle but they understood fine .
They know both parents love them to bits and nothing that happened is their fault

One of the things that helps most after you tell them, is let them go house hunting with whoever is moving out. This way the new house feels like a choice they got to make as opposed to “visiting” one of the parents. Makes a HUGE difference.

You’d be surprised at how quickly kids adjust. Mine were 3 and 5 when I split with their dad. I didn’t give them an explanation as they were to young so we just got on with things. It’s been 3 years and they don’t remember when we all lived together. All you need to do is make sure they see their father regularly

There is no advice I guess - dealing with divorce is hard even though it’s mutual. however as long as you and ex hubby co parent and put the kids first and never let your issues get in the way, we tend to use the kids against each other and forget we are the adults in this.
I’m sure you will be fine.

People tend to say kids will adjust they are resilient but we forget that kids see watch feel everything too! It’s important to be mindful of there physical and mental wellbeing and never put them in the middle of anything that will damage or have lasting affects that end up turning into something else when older.

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My parents got divorced when I was 7 years old my little sister was 3 and I also had 2 older siblings. It was a real shock. All I can say coming from how I remember feeling as a kid you really need to make sure this is the best decision for your family. If you haven’t tried all ready go to marriage counseling see if anything can be fixed before you divorce. There’s a lot you gotta deal with on the courts end and the kids have to also and it’s confusing and honestly was depressing to have to go from seeing my parents every day to having certain days and weeks for visitation. Sometimes that’s what’s best is to leave but also try on every level before a family gets split up

My husband and I just went through this in April. We have two five year olds and a 3 year old. I was worried sick about telling them and they really didn’t make a big deal about it or seem nearly as upset as I thought they would. We just told them that we weren’t going to be married together any more so would live in two different houses and they would stay with me but get to visit daddy as much as they want and that we still love them just as much as always. Now three months of living apart and I can honestly say, they adjusted soo well! Hasn’t seemed to bother them much at all.

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They will adjust and, since mutual, hopefully there isn’t much fighting now. Do your best to make specia occasions Christmas morning, birthdays) family oriented not separate. My parents were both always able to be at anything for me without anxietyor fighting and I am very appreciative of that as a kid and adult. They still are friends and talk every now and then and I’m 43. You’re still a family, it just looks different now.

You can tell them a lot but the most important thing for them is some kind of structure very very important but the most important part is that dad and you both express to the kids that you both love them very very much very often and make alot of time for them for each child with each parent threw this transition if you can pull that off they will be much better off

The next step I would consider is talk about the arrangements of the children. And so forth.

Do it together, don’t take on that burden by yourself. Reassure the kids multiple times that they’ve done nothing wrong, this isn’t their fault and that you decided you and Dad are just going to be friends from now on. That you still love each other, but only as friends, and explain that mom and dad will love in separate houses but that nothing will change how much you love the kids.

So I’m wondering when you start explaining adult stuff to a 6mth old and a 2yo and why would you even start it with a 5yo how bout a daddy has to live in a different house for awhile instead of traumatizing right off the bat

Don’t forget to add that double holidays are really fun (heartwrenching for adults) but they’ll get double presents and double food :smiley:. Samantha-Brynne Roehl response was perfect so I’d start with that.

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I got divorced frm my husband yrs ago he was a cheater, n the 3rd time was the last time…anyways yeah it affected .my son big time but as he got older he kind of snapped out of it

I know, I’ve been there. A mutual divorce.

Try talking about the different types of love their are and how they change.
Parent love is forever :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:
But mommy and daddy’s love has changed- we love eachother as friends now, so we arent gonna be married anymore.
I would hesitate to say that you dont love eachother anymore- at that age I think thed be afraid that if your guys love can disappear- what about the love for them?
So I would say it has changed- romantic to just friends.

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Keep talking to each other. Remember that it’s not about you. It’s about the babies and what is best for them.