Can you post anonymously? Unfortunately, I don’t have many friends, and I don’t want to go to family for advice… But I found out my husband cheated on me. I had suspicions a few months ago. We were going through a really rough time. I’ve had two pregnancy losses, and my depression does get the best of me… I will admit that. But the girl he cheated with ended up telling me. (Even though I don’t like her, I appreciate the honesty) but the worst part is… I know I love him. I can’t imagine my life without him. We have a son, my stepson. I’ve been apart of his whole life with us having custody, and he is MY son. My world. And I don’t know if I want to forgive him because I love him or because it’s the easy way out. Moving out and moving on is hard… Has anyone forgiven this? I’m super Christian. And forgiveness is a big part of me. But this is something I just can’t handle.
Oh man this is so tough. If you want to stay and make the relationship work you kinda need to just get over it and keep it in the past. Good luck to you mama! If you choose to stay, I hope everything works out
If he “gets away” with it once, it will definitely happen again. Living a miserable life bc of your religion is nonsense in this day & age. Leave that cheating POS. Talk to the child’s mother and see if she is willing to let you continue your relationship with him. There is ALWAYS a better way than lowering yourself to a mediocre unhappy life just bc it’s easier!
If you don’t have trust, what do you have? It makes for a very hard relationship after the trust is lost. You would have to completely forgive him and he owes you a big apology. I have 5 kiddos 2 of which are my hubbies. But like you said they are MINE. I’ve been with them over half of their life. That would be a decision you’d have to make and I couldn’t imagine having to choose between a cheating husband whom didn’t even tell you or your step child who you feel is your baby. That would be tuff. It would be very hard to be 100% again in your relationship. And he went out of your relationship once. He could very easily do it again.
So taking into consideration your beliefs and your son, I recommend first seeking marriage counseling. You say you love him and you can’t see yourself without him, then You really need to decide if you can forgive him and move on and therapy will help you with that. But if you know you won’t be able to forgive him and move forward, then you need to leave. But just know that your depression DOES NOT make it ok or give him an excuse to be unfaithful. Do not lower yourself to that. You’re doing the best that you can, and when you needed him most, he chose to cheat.
I’ve been in the same boat with the same feelings and he ended up doing it again. Finally he ended up leaving me for someone else. Yes, it’s hard to move on but you need to respect yourself because he does not respect you and your relationship. True love isn’t cheating and having eyes for another woman. You deserve happiness even if it means being alone.
If you can’t handle it then don’t try and force yourself to. If when things get bad he cheats what happens the next time things aren’t great.
Pregnancy loss can affect men just as much as us moms but they stay bottled up. Has he been remorseful? I think you should both seek counseling and marriage counseling as well.
The bible days say you can leave if there is cheating going on . The trust is gone you wont trust him or feel good about it.
You can absolutely save your marriage and forgive him! But you need to really forgive him and let it go! If he is willing to do anything to keep you! If you truly don’t believe he is sorry and will do it again, then leave immediately!
Once a cheater always a cheater I know that phrase is overused but it has alot of truth behind it…it is a rush for them and they will do it anytime you are having a “rough patch” are you willing to go thru the pain of finding out over and over again?
Ugh I think people are completely over looking the fact that he also lost 2 babies. Men also grieve. Not excusing it whatsoever, but I think sometimes people do some really hurtful things when grieving. Especially men.
Child loss affects men too and maybe him having an affair was a way for him to cope (still not excusing it).
Pursue marriage counseling if you don’t want to end the marriage. Get to the root of why he cheated in the first place. Maybe it was grief. Men grieve too when miscarriages happen and yeah, it’s worse on women, but I think us women are also guilty of also not being supportive to our partners during child loss.
Is he even remorseful for doing it, is he willing to go thru a min of 6 months personal therapy to figure out some of his own shit that caused this before you even consider marriage counseling, does he even want this relationship? As a Christian you can forgive him, that’s for you though. That doesn’t mean you have to stay married. Get yourself some therapy to help you thru all this trauma that’s happened in your life, it will help!no decision has to be made right now, take the time to really assess yourself and this relationship.
I had the cheating husband and I forgave for our childs sake…after much work and heartache he cheated again!!! And yet again came back begging mercy. Sadly when your marriage ends so will the relationship with the step. Perhaps the bio mom will allow some visits but eventually it to will taper off. Count your blessings and get out. Once a cheater always a cheater
If he can’t be there for you when ur at ur lowest point then why the hell does he deserve you now…
just because you are depressed, don’t mean its ok for him to cheat…
He needs to do some serious “making it up to you” if you do decide to work at it.
you will never forget tho.
My ex husband cheated on me 2 years into our marriage. Her husband actually called me and told me. Of course he denied it at first. Then I guess her husband kicked her out of their house and my husband actually thought he was going to move her and her kids in with us. Nope! We did end up staying together for 21 years of marriage. I asked for a divorce because of the way he started treating me with my health issues. Best thing I did!
You can’t make yourself forgive the unforgivable. Even the Bible allows for divorce when unfaithfulness occurs. You’re allowed to mourn your loss of pregnancy without being worried your husband will cheat.
Cheating is the ultimate betrayal. Sorry, I would move on
You don’t have to decide today or tomorrow. Take that pressure off of yourself. You have to do what’s best for you and yours. In time you will make the right decision. Give yourself a little time to process the situation. What you can’t do is allow the children to become involved in your arguments or decisions. Otherwise you will cause them more harm than good, either way.
Read Torn Assunder then read Before A Bad Good-bye then read Get The Junk Out Of Your Trunk. Marriages can survive and be stronger on the other side. Fireproof and Marriage On The Rock as well as I Don’t Want A Divorce are also great books.
You can try to forgive him but the cheating will haunt you forever. You will think about it all the time. At first it will hurt. Then you’ll get mad and big arguments are starting. You don’t want to argue but can’t help yourself because your only human. So pray about it and see what happens but I’m pretty sure you will end up leaving him.
He needs to hit the road.
Smh. I’m shocked at the responses on here. I usually don’t speak up but come on now.
To the op - don’t ask strangers for advice. Strangers have a tendency to take their own experiences and give you advice based on that. God will let you know what to do. Trust that. Both of you need to decide if you both want the marriage to work and if your both willing to do whatever it takes. I am a firm believer that just because someone fucks up once, doesn’t necessarily mean it’ll happen again. Men go through just as much as women. It’ll take work. A lot of it. But if you both really want it, then you’ll both be willing. And you both have to be understanding that healing will not happen overnight. It’s okay to take your time to heal and process it all. As I’ve said, trust in God and he will guide you 
See a couples therapist and figure out can you get past it.
I couldn’t.
Everyone is different, but I already know, I wouldn’t let it go.
I would worry and obsess.
I would literally destroy my mind and my heart would be broken.
I would have to leave for my own sanity.
I’m going to be realistic for a minute. MARRIAGE IS HARD. Most people don’t even find out when they get cheated on, contrary to what they think. Most affairs don’t mean anything - but sometimes they do.
My best advice is to let your husband also explain how he feels, why he did it… be his best friend and confidant. Be raw with one another. Because now you’ve crossed boundaries together that you didn’t think would ever happen, but since it did… 
Men are NOT perfect. And neither are women and temption is a mfkr.
Is cheating horrible and hurtful? Absolutely. And the only way to truly get through it is TOGETHER, through time and EXPERIENCE.
It’s so easy to let something like this consume every part of your being. But becoming better from it, is going to give your husband a different side of you that neither one of you have discovered yet. And vice versa.
People are going to fuck up in marriage. Obviously If it’s repetitive, cut your losses. Know when to hold them, know when to fold them.
I’ve been cheated on, thought I never could get over it. I took a different approach. I did ME. I detached myself emotionally and I did ME. That was my glow up. And now that MY worth is through the roof… I don’t have to worry about getting cheated on. But if I do, we will get through it together, whether we stay together or not. What I won’t do, is lose my peace of mind. I also don’t turn a blind eye to ANYTHING. If something doesn’t feel right, I’ll turn every stone to figure out the truth. Create your boundaries and let them shine bright like a diamond. My husbands worst fear is disappointing me. Because of my boundaries.
You can find all the ways you want to forgive him but once that trust is broken you cannot get it back. Counseling may help but you will always have a part of you that questions if he is cheating again. You do not deserve to do that to yourself. You deserve better.
This is only something you can decide. I highly recommend therapy and also taking some time for yourself. Go away for a week or two. Even if you just stay at a hotel. get time for yourself and to really just cry it out and think about if this is something you can forgive (don’t think about leaving or staying at first, just think about if you can forgive). Just remember that him cheating is his fault. Nothing you did was the reason. He made the decision. He needs to be the one to ask for forgiveness and show he deserves it.
Joe Beams Marriage Helper FB group and books are a fantastic resource for exactly this.
Leave, for your happiness and peace!
Would God want you to disrespect yourself by allowing him to cheat… no god gonna tell you deserve way better than that kind of treatment… the right way is not always the easiest way to travel. Good luck
That is sick cheating after the loss leave now don’t grrr hate when dumb people say they stay for there kids its a huge no do not do it
Leave hes ass
You pray! God can help you both through it. that’s what I did.
It’s all great to try and forgive him but honestly does he want to be with you? Is he asking for your forgiveness? The girl is the one that told you not him so really you can do all the work to forgive him or therapy but if he doesn’t really see what he did wrong or want you as much as you want him, he will just do it again.
I couldn’t forgive that kind of betrayal. Not ever. My advice to you is to love yourself and know that you are worth more than that. Good luck.
Go ahead and try. If it doesn’t workout then at least u tried, and you will feel better about your religious beliefs. Is he sorry? Is he begging? Where is his head at in all this tho? Cause if he doesn’t care then idk…
I’m sorry, but going through a rough time does not mean it’s ok to cheat! It’s never ok to cheat. And at a time when you need him the most going through a loss is just terrible.
You dont forgive a person for cheating. That is the ultimate form of disrespect. Do you want him to keep cheating? Because even if he says he won’t, honey he will. Do you want him to bring diseases home to you? Do you want your child possibly growing up without you because you died from a sexually transmitted disease? Know your worth and GO.
I think it’s something you and him have to work out and only you can decide that. People are human and make mistakes.
I don’t believe in the once a cheater always a cheater. People are capable of change
If he came forward and said forgive me, maybe. But since he was content lying to you until the other girl told you id say no. No “rough patch” or “maybe i was being a bitch” os a good excuse to cheat. It obviously happened more than once. That’s not an accident.
I forgave. He changed. It took a long time to build the trust back but now we don’t even worry or talk about it. But also you can’t make him change he has to want to otherwise history will keep repeating itself
This is something that I have been thru and the best advice I got was to pray amd and you really need to ask yourself way down deep can you ever be able to trust him again? For me honestly I truly thought I could but I never did again. I stayed 3 years and wish I had left him in the hospital after he had surgery. I wish you the best.
Ask God to guide you in your decision. It needs to be Gods will.
Don’t mean to be harsh but you’ll be way better off without him…
It’ll be so hard to trust again and without that there’s honestly no point!
Been there forgave and it bit me right in the arse!!
I tried to forgive my ex husband multiple times and just couldn’t. Ended up spending so much time bottling up the emotions and damaging my own self of being. He destroyed me, and I allowed it. He continued to cheat off and on until finally left a few years ago. It was the best decision I ever made for myself. I still have healing to deal with a bit, emotional scars if you will, but I’m happier now than I ever was with him. It was hard at first ofc, but each day gets a little better and little easier and one day as weird as it sounds, he won’t cross your mind at all, and that’ll become more and more frequent.
Focus on you mama. Focus on your mental health and well being so you can be there for your kiddos, as a happy you, a happy mom. You don’t need him to for that. You can definitely try couples counseling (if he’ll go) and some individual therapy for you if you’re not ready to walk away. But don’t do what I did, don’t stay and be miserable out of fear of it being too hard without him or the wrong choice. He made that choice and that’s on him. That’s not your fault. Lots of love to you. DM me if ya wanna chat
The love that you have for him will only destroy you if you can’t find peace in your heart. Love yourself first.
If he has done it once he will do it again how can anybody have someone back like that its not fair on you
See how you are blaming yourself? Please leave it doesn’t get better it gets worser and worse and he didn’t even have the balls to tell you. Let alone respect you to tell you. You deserve better.
I’m so sorry to hear about your pregnancy losses. It’s a tough thing to experience. This does not give your husband the right to cheat on you. Unfortunately he did, and now that you know, you have to make a decision. Now, you say you are a Christian, so I suggest you pray about it. Get into God’s word. Many couples have overcome infidelity and have come out stronger. I’m not making any excuses for him. People should not step out of their marriages. Ever! But it is your choice and yours alone to make. If you do decide to forgive him and work it out, you can’t throw it in his face every time you get mad at him. You have to truly forgive and move on, or else you will never truly be happy together. You guys can seek marriage counseling. Some churches even offer it. I, too, am a Christian. That’s why I believe in the power of prayer. Trust in God. Seek Him. Ask Him for wisdom and guidance. I will be praying for you as well. Take care and God Bless! 
Maybe try counseling? If you’re going to stay you have to be willing to accept what happened and move on, even if that’s with the help of counseling, but if you can’t then you need to move on.
My ex cheated on me we had been together 10 years and I was pregnant when I found out. I chose to try to forgive hi and I stayed another 3 years. It got bad after that. He cheated on me constantly and accused me of cheating after he got cought because he always thought I wanted to get back at him. It not only changed how I looked at him but turned out whole relationship toxic. They get this mintality that you will never leave and so they can treat you however you want
If you are married it’s worth working thru IF only if its what you both want n it doesn’t seem like he wants the marriage anymore. especially when he didnt even tell you. The other woman did. And hed have to be showing an outpouring amount of shame, remorse and will to change. Other wise move on and start over. Yes its scary, never thought I could do it myself but it is so rewarding starting over on your own.
It even says in the Bible you have all the right to divorce him for infidelity. Obviously forgiveness is important but you don’t need to stay with him. I know its easier said then done. If you do decide to stay, I would definitely get some type or marriage counseling to help you both get through this. Praying for you and your situation 
If he is sorry and doesn’t want to leave then you could try going to marriage councilling. You should at least try to fix your marriage first and then if you end up divorcing, at least you know you did what you could to save it. I would also try to formally adopt your son if thats at all possible, so that if in the future you do break up, you will retain rights to see your child.
Sometimes it’s not about forgiveness. With my ex the more I forgive the more he did it and the less he cared when I found out. It was awful. I forgave him every time. It just made him more brazen.
If you choose to forgive tell him it’ll be the only time unless your prepared to carry on with with this cycle
I forgave first time… I forgave 2nd time by third time I knew it was never changing after I left I found out there was a forth too. Im not saying people can’t change but this has been my experience it really killed me and made me question myself. Wasted 6 years of my life believing the good in someone . I’m so sorry this has happened to you its the hardest thing ever to go thru 
I made the mistake for forgiving them and he cheated again
I forgave once, took him back, had a second child with him only for him to leave all three of us right after my son was born for another woman. Maybe I’m salty, but I think cheaters will always cheat. And the fact that he didn’t tell you speaks VOLUMES.
won’t you be afraid he will do it again? Or even want to? To me that’s the same idk
DEPENDING on how he handles this with you…I was once the cheater and it’s taken a long while. But only if he’s willing to work on shit and ready to “man” up
Leave. Never gets better and your ultimately just wasting time now. I know it’s hard but you can do it!
Once a cheater always a cheater. Open the relationship and find your trust or leave
This is something that you both have to want with every fiber of tour being! I have been with my partner for 20 years. It was rocky, I was not happy. She cheated at 13 years. It took a lot of work on both sides because we decided that we wanted it to work. It took a lot of communication on both sides, counseling and a lot of personal changes to Both of us. But I have to say, after all that work our relationship has changed so much for the better! It’s a totally different dynamic! It took a while but the trust has returned, and for the first time our relationship is healthy!
It is possible, but both of toy need to see how you need to change personally for yourself so that you will be happy.
You sound like you aren’t ready to leave him, you have to have a one on one with him and confront your issues, have an honest talk with him. Let him know that you know, see if he is willing to go to counseling if he’s not willing to work it out, there’s your answer. My heart breaks for you but it takes 2 to make a relationship work.
Leave. As someone who always forgave and gave everything in me to try and get my sons dad to give af about family and be emotionally open and available… now I get to be a single mom of 2. Now I get to go through another childbirth with a man who I don’t think ever gave a shit about me there in the room bc I’m not one of those that will prevent the father from being there for the birth of his child. It only gets harder from here so I understand it will hurt bc of the child already in the picture but please leave before there are any others. You think you’re hurting now, you can only imagine how bad the hurt and betrayal can go if you stick around.
A piece of advice that was given to me when my husband cheated was. If you can learn to forgive him then stick it out but in your heart if you know that it may happen again and or you can’t forgive , then leave. Would not be fair to either of you.
You have every right not stay. He betrayed you and your family. He should have thought of how this could affect your family. If you want to work it out, I strongly suggest counseling. It will give a safe space to work it out. Good luck in whichever direction you chose. Please make sure your happiness comes first.
For me I would not tolerate cheating. It is the worst thing in the world. He should be supportive during your hard times and it’s disgusting he slept with someone else while you were going through alot. For me once trust is broken it can never be fully restored. Usually the easy choice is the wrong choice the hard one is the right one. But I’m not going through what you are so honestly i can say what id do but no one knows for sure if it isnt happening to them. Its easier to give advice to others.
He has to want forgiveness. If he really wants forgiveness he will be 100 percent transparent with you. He will have to deal with the ramnifi cation of his actions. He will be honest with you about all of your questions and have to deal with your uncertainty until he regains your trust. If he doesn’t have patience and understanding that trust lost takes time to regain, it won’t work. Also, he needs to stay away from the person he cheated with. Marriage counseling is the best way to get it out on the table. It takes a long time to begin to trust again and if he really wants to work on it, he will give you that time. I’m sorry for your hurt.
And bless you for loving your son the way you do:heartpulse:
I was in your position at one point. My depression drove a wedge between my husband and myself… one day he decided he wanted to go to a bar and just drink a few. I was ok with it because we was around each other 24/7. He needed some space. I get it. Told him to go… what bothered me was he told me a girl was hitting on him and he basically spilled his guts to a complete stranger. She knew he was married and she just kept buying him drinks. Well apparently at one point he went to the bathroom leaving his drink unattended… needless to say he blacked out and woke up at a lake 20 miles away. He told me everything he could remember. So when I found out everything I was crushed. It was really rough being with him and the day I told myself I was ready to move on he begged me not to. He didn’t want this to be over. So we worked through it. Its still in the back of my mind and eats at me some days, it’s going to but also to this day he refuses to go to a bar alone. If I don’t go he won’t go. Moral of the story, if they wanna change and make the marriage work it can be done. The once a cheater always a cheater isn’t true for everyone.
As a Christian the Bible says if you choose to forgive him you have to move on and never bring it back you can’t throw it in hisbface everytime you want. You cannot heal if you do that. Marriage is a beautiful thing. You guys made a commitment and sometimes infidelity happens. Is it a deal breaker or is it not. Your allowed to choose without regret. Marriage isnt easy. Is it also worth fighting for? Don’t let him disrespect your boundaries. Confront him let him know you know. See where I goes from there. Men can be stupid and make super poor decisions especially when free easy pussy is waving irself around. It when they love the other person that things will get tricky. Definitely talk about counseling sometimes having an outsider looking in will confront your own actions that may have led him astray and also check his action for giving into temptation and alsonfinding a solution
You can love him and forgive him all you want. But that will not make him respect you and that’s what this is about. He doesn’t respect you as his wife. He doesn’t respect you as the mother of his children. He doesn’t respect you enough as a person to talk through your marital issues together.
And there’s nothing you can do to change that.
I firmly believe that someone cheats because they are looking for an out but are too cowardly to do the leaving themselves. He wants you to make this decision. And I think that if you stay, things are not going to get better. You might forgive him but you will always be wondering…is he cheating on me again? And that’s no way to have a relationship.
Also - forgiveness does not mean you stay with him. You can forgive him so your own heart can heal, but have enough respect for yourself to know your own worth and demand to be treated in a manner becoming of your worth. Forgiveness - is not easy. Staying in the marriage - now that’s the easy way out. Not wanting to rock the boat - the easy way out. Demanding you be treated what your worth - the hard part. Knowing it’s probably better for you to leave - the hard part. But forgiveness does not mean you have to stay. I’d bet that if you stayed you would have a harder time forgiving him than if you left.
It’s one thing to forgive someone, but its another to stay in a relationship or situation that you know in your hole body that you just can’t handle.
Sincerely Praying for you my dear girl. You are God’s precious daughter.
I’m so sorry you are going through this. Please watch the movie Fireproof with your husband. Watch it as many times as you need. Look up The Love Dare. And actively do the challenge.
YouTube “Matt Chandler A Beautiful Design” sermon series on marriage.
God will bless your heart, your marriage. God can restore your marriage and make it better. I have seen this transformation.
For what God has joined together no man shall separate.
Reach out to your church pray with others. If you need look up Church of Christ. It’s nation/ world wide. They will pray with you.
Our God is healer.
Thy will be done- Hilary Scott
Praise you in this storm-Casting Crowns
While I’m waiting- John Waller
I’ve forgiven my husband twice.Maybe try counseling and see if that will help you both.Cheating is never okay but,if you both are willing to give it another try,do it.However,are you willing to be at peace and never think about it again or bring it up?This is the hardest part about forgiveness.
It would be easier for me to forgive if HE had said something about it. He didn’t so now no one can say he ever would have. The next woman might not have a conscience about it. He wasn’t remorseful about cheating, he was remorseful about getting caught. If you have a baby with this man, prepare for it to happen again and you have to share your child with him and the person/people he cheated on you with. Is it worth it?
That’s a choice you have to make on your own. Some people can get over that and I do believe that people can make mistakes and change. I don’t know if I would be able to but you do what you need to. Also, what you were going through is no excuse. You were in a bad place and you remained faithful. Don’t let him use that as an excuse. He made a conscious choice to betray your trust. Talk it out and see how you feel about it.
We all have it in us to get through things. Believe me when I found out about my ex it broke me. I couldn’t breath, I cried everyday. Some forgive their partner mistake but people don’t change over night. See if you can get joint custody of your son. For your mental health and your self worth, leave that piece of A** and work on yourself. One day at a time, and someday if you are lucky enough you will find someone worth your love and respect
I understand your pain, confusion, and humiliation and I’m so sorry you’re experiencing this. If your husband is remorseful, ready to leave everything affaire related behind, and you are both willing to put in the work to address the underlying issues and rebuild a better relationship yes, of course it can be done. You must take responsibility for your healing and forgiveness (it sounds like you’re capable of this, not everyone is. It’s a challenge) and he must be willing to swallow his pride and support you in your healing and make sacrifices to rebuild trust.
Go on YouTube and search Affaire Recovery. They have dozens of videos about what comes after the affair, understanding why it happened, and how to have empathy for each other’s experience (empathy is essential for forgiveness). You sound like an incredibly loving and generous woman. I’m sending you love and support on this journey. Hold your head high. You’re a Goddess 
I personally couldn’t forgive. I went through this with my 1st husband and will never to it again. We have been married almost 31 years and l trust him 
%.
Cheating is for the cheater. I am not gonna wear that on my heart. If my partner cheats on me and I don’t find out that’s up to them to live with. If I find out it’s up to me. I will be no one’s second choice and I definitely won’t spend my days wondering if my man is thinking about some random side piece. Life is too damn short.
Time goes on it gets easier but you never forget. The disbelief of the betrayal and lack of trust remains.
I went through this about two years ago I have three kids with my kids father and one of them is special-needs he cheated on me three times that I knew of that’s not counting of the other ones that I didn’t know it was the same story every time I’m sorry it won’t happen again and I always took him back for the sake of the kids and because we were together for so long and how could I break up my family but the truth is it’s a choice it’s disrespectful anytime someone cheats. It was not easy for me but I did leave him because I knew that I couldn’t live in a relationship where there was no trust respect and I was always wondering and I didn’t want that I wanted peace of mind and I did forgive him for what he did still to this day he tries to get back with me and says he loves me but I could never go back to that once the trust is broken more than once it’s really hard to fix that I am at peace now and it was an easy hang in there I know exactly What you are feeling and going through and I know it’s the worst feeling ever. I pray that you have strength to get through this difficult time and that you make the choice that is best for you. A lot of times men know that we will forgive them and they know that we are forgiving and you cannot let them take it advantage of that. Praying for you!
To me cheating is not forgivable. “For better or for worse, through sickness or in health” (or however it goes )- he should support you through your depression not find someone else. Don’t blame yourself for his choices 
You are going through two miscarriages and depression and he cheats on you! Doesn’t tell you. I couldn’t forgive him.
Sometimes, being away from your significant other after something like this helps put things in perspective. The distance gives you some kind of peace to be able to think and not have to do it while seeing him everyday and basically wanting to kick him every time he walks by you. Give yourself some time to heal. Feel what you have to feel and take it from there. Best of luck.
Why would you even consider being with someone who doesn’t respect you? “Because I love him”. Love sometimes isn’t enough. Respect yourself and move on.
Omg this is horrible.
I’ve been cheated on in every relationship I’ve ever been in. I’ve always left them because of the betrayal I felt.
Until i tried forgiving my ex for cheating. I really did try. I tried to understand why I was cheated on. Maybe it was something I did. He told me himself and begged me that he wanted to be with me and not her. We continued on as usual even though I was completely torn. Turns out, he was just looking for a way out of the relationship without having to dump me himself. He cheated again…told me AGAIN. And that was it. I was done.
I’ve come to realize over the years that there is NO EXCUSE for cheating especially when you are in such a vulnerable state. How dare he! Yes he’s allowed to grieve, but that does not give him a “get out of jail” free card to go sleep with another woman. Instead of comforting each other as a husband and wife should, he betrays you.
There is only one thing you should do. LEAVE! Ask your step sons mother if you can still see him. It will be hard, but at least you can heal and find someone who truly won’t betray you.
Leave leave,he will do it again,people like that who cheats never stops ,its in their blood,sex always there for them.
So you lost 2 beautiful humans in YOUR body, and he decides to cheat ?! No way in h I’d stay! That’s totally messed up. And the fact that he’s not even the one who told you. Big nope in my eyes
Is he begging your forgiveness and apologetic? Does he feel horrible for cheating and lying to you?
Total disrespect for you and the things you have been going through. He deserves a kick out the door not forgiveness
You deserve better…you can forgive if you choose but you will never forget!!! People have different options but in my mind once a cheater always a cheater with the right temptation…let Karma do its job
I would suggest a Christian counselor.
You can forgive, but I promise you, you will NEVER forget. It will be an almost daily reminder.
I ended up divorcing my first husband because he didn’t seem repentant and I felt too hurt to stay.
I’m Christian too. I believe in being with your life partner but if they cheat they usually continue. I’ve been divorced twice. I recently married again. Finally I found the man for me. He dont believe in cheating. You have to work that out for yourself but I’d move on.
My sincerest condolences for your pregnancy losses and the hurt you’re going through because he cheated. You having depression and going through a rough time is completely expected given what you went through. That is a traumatic experience. His cheating based on your mental health struggles is absolutely 100% not justifiable. A partner should be there for you during those times and helping you heal not betraying you. As a counselor, I would most definitely recommend counseling to weigh options. I know you’re in a tough place especially being that you guys share a child. But please consider counseling and I wish you the best in your healing and in this difficult decision you have to make.
Going through the same thing. I found out my husband was cheating on me in November with his co worker. They had been having a relationship for 3 months. We were going through a hard time. I was having bad post partum (I have a 1 & 2yr old born back to back) it was rough. I’m still having a hard time getting over it but I can say we’ve been working on our relationship & communication. I feel like we get along better. Butt there are other days I ask myself if I’m doing the right thing and will I ever be able to get over it.