So I got together with my boyfriend in 2018 and then Valentine’s Day 2019 he proposed and we never set a date or anything because I was pregnant n had just found out!!! But we have been engaged for quite a while, and he never wants to set a date or even talk about it and say how he doesn’t want a wedding!!! How do I know if he’s really true in wanting to marry me? Or is it cuz he got me pregnant, and that’s why he did it!! I see all these people getting engaged n setting dates!!! Am I wrong for feeling off about thinking it will never happen??? He says he loves me to death, but how do u know if it’s for real or not?
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Could it be the strain of the financial portion of a wedding? That weighs hard on a guys mind.
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He isn’t ready or doesn’t want to. Set a date and tell him when it is.
Just do a small wedding plenty of people that can do it at their house thats what me and my husband did just our kids and 2 witness it was really nice if he still done not what to do it he’s not ready.
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My partner and I haven’t set a date. I think that will be the last thing we do before sending out invites. But just see if he really wants to marry. He may love you and got engaged to you. But alot of men do that. Get engaged cause they are committed they just don’t want the big money wedding. Maybe give it a couple more years. Me and my partner don’t want to get married too soon. We are thinking in two to three years
Actions will tell you if he loves you
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Maybe he feels he needs $ set aside before he sets a date
I mean covid just happened and ur nsy have affected the excitement becuz just trying to get ahead of it
Men don’t usually have all the creative wedding ideas
How bout u both set a date that realistic
And plan set money aside in a separate acct
He believe he loves u
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See if he is up for maybe a court wedding or a small backyard wedding. It could be that he is worried financially. If he still refuses to speak of it maybe its time to have the hard conversation of what you both really want. In reality you haven’t been engaged all that long so maybe he just wants to wait
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I was with my guy for 11 years before I got a ring…that was 3 years ago and we still aren’t married.
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I’ve been engaged since december 20th 2016. Found out I was pregnant January 6th 2017.
I have no advice because I’m in the same boat
Maybe he just doesn’t want a wedding
You can get married without one
Just because he hasn’t set a date doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you. I got engaged Christmas of 2017 we haven’t gotten married yet. I haven’t set a date because i don’t want a traditional wedding and to me marriage isn’t going to change much in our relationship except taxes. 💁 Weddings are expensive and i think personally they are a waste of money at least for us.
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If I really wanted to marry someone, the date wld be yesterday!
Engaged for 14 years before eloping… 22 years together married 8 years…
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I asked mine when we were going to get married and he took me right to the courthouse. Yeah, he’s just playing with you all the way around girl. 
I hope you find your person some day! 
ASK HIM. Seriously. Say, “I want to set a date to get married.” When he grumbles simply ask, “Do you want to even get married?”
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He could want to get married but not like the planning part. Some
Guys enjoy it , some don’t, some could care less. I think you should talk to him a little bit more about why he wants to get married before seeking the advice of strangers. Otherwise your just placing your own assumptions and doubts and that can be a dangerous game to play.
I’ve been engaged for almost 3 years 
we’re not in a rush… It’s only paper.
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Me and my fiancé haven’t set a date either. We’ve been together 6 going on 7 years next month
We got engaged when I was a few months pregnant with our daughter
We aren’t in any rush… we wanna wait till our daughter can walk down the aisle with us
I wouldn’t stress too much about it… it’ll happen when it happens 
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He didn’t “get” you pregnant…you got pregnant together. 
It doesn’t appear that he wants marriage.
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My fiancee thinks I dont want to marry him because I dont want a wedding. It isnt that I dont want to marry him I just dont want a wedding 
I have no interest in planning a wedding nor do I have or care to pick a date. Maybe he is the same way. We also havent been together that long and I’m in no rush.
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I had our daughter in August 2018 and we got engaged in September 2018. We still haven’t set a date. Not really sure why, but I guess we aren’t in to big of hurry.
You should only go by what your gut is telling you, I mean your thinking & feeling it you know what to do, you just don’t want to admit yet. I wish you the best.
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Maybe he doesn’t want a big wedding and see if he would d ok it in court with your closest friends
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Just ask him. Yall have only been engaged a year. Its still a commitment. I was with my husband for 3 1/2 years before he proposed. We never planned on a big wedding. Just the courthouse. Well that was my plan. He ended up talking to his boss and the wife was a notary… Long story short we were married 3.5 weeks later. I just showed up to it lol. But it took him 2 kids and over 3 years to even get to that point
2 year engagements are the norm. You haven’t been engaged a long time…
8 year be in engaged .there no date yet bec we save up . I not in rush .marred is just paper as long as we happy .
Many couples have long engagements. My husband would have been content to wait longer when we got engaged, but I just had a conversation with him about what I wanted and we figured out what worked for the both of us. If you’re asking him generally, maybe he thinks that you’re just tossing ideas around. I would sit him down and be very specific. Make it clear to him that you would like to set a date and start planning and find a time frame that works for the both of you. If he doesn’t want to contribute to the conversation, ask him why.
How do you know?
Talk to him.
If you’re going to be married you need to be comfortable and confident enough to talk to him and ask him about anything. Coming to an online group where all you’ll get is assumptions because this is about how he feels, not facts, is not the way to go.
It can be scary. I know, I’ve had to ask and question some hard things. But not once has my husband “punished” me for trying to talk to him. Even if they were hard or awkward conversations he always listened and always discussed.
Tell him your concerns and how you feel, and be 100% vulnerable and honest with him.
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Well covids kinda pushing dates out…so right now really isnt even time to rush for a date. Especially maybe within the next year or 2.
With that being said ive been engaged for 9 yrs. But not really worried about setting a date any time soon.
You need to have this conversation with him . If you can’t talk about this then what can you all talk about ?
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You have only been together for 2 years. Give it a minute. Damn
My fiance and I also have not set a date yet, september marks our 3 year engagement, but we have been together 9 years.
You need to talk to him about setting a day and let him know how you feel about it. Even if he doesn’t want a big wedding you could do something at the courthouse.
Lol me and my other got together in 2010… he proposed January 2013… we started planning but hadn’t actually set a date, i ended up pregnant figured I’d spend the money on the baby instead of a wedding… a few years later 2015 rolls around start talking about a wedding… end up pregnant again… at this point I’ve been engaged for 7 years… im over planning a wedding cause I dont want anymore babies… only thing its gonna change at this point is my last name… if hes still with you and yall are happy… why rush?!
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Why do you need to set a date if marriage is all you want them just pick a day your both free and go down to the courthouse. No fuss and quick and get your paper. But you need to tell him that you want to go this date and get married by court men are not mind readers you need to tell them what you want. Now if you tell him and he’s still not cooperating then I’d start asking him what it is he wants and tell him you’ll no longer be waiting for when he’s ready to get married. That way you know if he’s ready to go then you’ll know he wants to get married however if he’s still dragging his feet then maybe it’s not what he truly wants and that’s ok too but he needs to be honest about his intentions.
He can still love you to death and not want to be married. The only benefits to marriage is taxes and the government being involved… it’s just a piece of paper.
I’ve been engaged for 12 years, we havent set a date, or even talked about weddings. We prefer to just being engaged instead of just bf and gf, but marriage is to me just paperwork.
Sometimes things take time. When your having a baby, do you really want to be focused on the baby or wedding planning? Do the smart thing sit down and talk to him and see where he’s at. He might want to wait till after the baby comes, which isn’t a bad thing if this is your first kid all of your attention will be on that baby. So chill, breath, talk, discuss.
If he wanted to marry you, he would at least talk about the wedding. Men are usually good about going after or making it clear what they want.
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How do you know? You ask. You need to communicate with him.
I’m sorry but no relationship works without communication. Get off of Facebook and go Talk to him:woman_facepalming:t2:
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Kids change people…
Get married quickly and quietly before the baby comes. Put God 1st in your marriage and make this marriage work.
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Been engaged 6 years. Together 7.
I dont want a wedding. But i wanted a ring. He wants a wedding and papers…i dont care about any of it. Its a conversation. Marriage is tricky when u see a lot of divorces that turn bad. Goodluck🥳
So if he doesn’t want a wedding what’s confusing you ? Maybe he did just do it because you got prego and now he’s changed his mind good luck
You have to know your worth with or without him. Is he or your child worth more. Your child is innocent he’s educated in his crap
He doesn’t want a wedding. He just wants to say you are his & doesn’t want anyone else to have you
If he says he doesn’t want a wedding then he doesn’t want a marriage!!
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He don’t want to marry you, but now that he’s got you pregnant, all he knows to do is try to put you off
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He wants to marry you but you said he don’t want a wedding maybe he want to simple like going to court house I didn’t want a wedding so we went to court house
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Why marry when a man is already getting anything and eveything
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I’ve been engaged for almost a year and well I have decided i want to get married this year. And he’s up for it I just don’t have a date set. But if I was you I would set the date yourself that’s what I had to do
I was with my now husband 10 years before he proposed and 11 before we got married… don’t rush it. That’s only 2 years ago… give it time.
I met my husband 5/2008, engaged 5/2009, pregnant 2/2011, & we never even talked about getting married till my best friends wedding in 12/2012. We got married 4/2013 and it was at the magistrates office. I don’t even think we had a total of 20 people attend. I was happy with where we were and didn’t push it and he didn’t seem to care if we ever got married… However if you’re unhappy about it speak up…
I was engaged to my husband for 9 years. 3 children later before we got married. We been together including married for 11 years with 4 little ones. It could be y’all don’t have the money that was our issue.
He might just not want a big formal wedding. He might just want something small or even court house. Have you thought about that and asked him.
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Are you expecting a huge wedding? Men process things differently. If you have a baby on the way and he’s a stand up guy, maybe he’s trying to figure out how to raise and support your child which cannot wait versus a wedding that can. Does he support you emotionally and financially? These are two separate questions. It started off about him setting a date for the wedding and ended up asking if he really loves you how would you know. A wedding is not the same as a marriage. A marriage takes years to build and make work. It is a decision to be together and a promise to be there through bad and good. You should probably be sure of this prior to being married and having a child. A wedding is a beautiful celebration in front of your loved ones but only lasts a day. Ask him if you could go the courts with no wedding, how soon would he want to go? Lots of people get married by court and then have a large wedding down the road. Key things in my experience that are evidence a man loves you is if they are patient with you, kind, joyful. If they think about your feelings. If they do what you ask even if they don’t want to. if you trust they will help you when you need him.
Girl I’ve been engaged since 2013. Get in line.
You’ve been together two years that’s not quite a while that’s a short time, you’ve been engaged for a year. Maybe he just wants to take time and not rush things. You got engaged very quickly after only being together a year. What’s the rush??
He is a dude. He just doesn’t give a crap about the wedding. It doesn’t mean anything to measure how much he loves you. If you want the wedding it’s going to be mostly on you to make it happen. That’s not abnormal.
At least you got a ring and commitment from him and of course you have a baby. Marriage unless for religious reasons is highly overrated don’t buy in to it and it does cost, invest in your child, you fi not need a certificate to state for someone you love and is you best friend so why marriage certificate your together you have love you have a child, relax
Weddings are expensive and can be super stressful. Honestly having kids already maybe an elopement is what he would prefer due to money constrictions? Just talk to him
Maybe he just doesn’t want a big wedding. Friends of ours were engaged for10 yrs and finally got married by a JOP. I know it may seem like it does, but a piece of paper doesn’t make your relationship real or better. If it’s that important to you, then I hope you get it, but you don’t need a big wedding to be married. Put the money away for your child instead.
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Actions speak much louder than words. If a man wants to marry you, he will never risk you walking away because he’s dragging his feet.
And the people commenting who think she’s still pregnant and giving me a much-needed laugh today.
You’ve been together for 2 years. Not 10. Calm down girl. I got with my man in 2018 too! We aren’t even engaged. But wanna know a secret? If he’s still with you… And loyal, caring, and honest with you, then he wants You. You have nothing to worry about sweetie.
Is he saying he doesn’t want a wedding or he doesn’t want to get married? Those a two very different things. Also, the size of the wedding doesn’t determine the type of marriage you’ll have or the longevity of it. Just keep having the conversation, figure out what exactly he wants and tell him what exactly you want and then make a compromise. That right there is marriage. As long as you both love each other and are committed to each other with a strong trusting relationship then that’s what really matters.
I didn’t want a wedding but I wanted to be married. I had a wedding with my first husband I would have been fine going to the court house with my husband now but he wanted a small wedding cause he did the court house thing with his first wife.
Sweetie, God gave us women a little something called “woman’s intuition”. If you’re doubting that he really wants to marry you, so much so that you have to go on social media and ask strangers, you already know the answer.
You’re the mother of his child, but you’re simply not his wife.
Sorry hun
Demand a conversation. If you 2 can’t discuss this and can’t figure it out how are you going to survive a relationship? You absolutely have to be able to talk about the “hard” things married or not…
Does he not want a wedding? Or does he not want to be married?
He doesn’t want to marry you. If he did then he would already done it. Sorry😥
I think that’s something you should ask him straight up rather than the internet?
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