Yesterday went so well it made us think what is going to happen. Today smacked us in the face in an alarming way. My 8 year old came home and said his brother(17) talked about harming himself. Now my 17 year old won't talk to me and is angry at my 8 year old. I assume for speaking about it. The day prior he had us pick him up early due to emotional issues. We have had him counseled last year and fear I may need to make an emergency counsel tomorrow. He is actually mad at his brother for speaking out about it.
He has this negative view on life. Graduate then go work for a CEO at low wage. He has the idea we are born to go to school, get a job and die. Like he feels we will never reach our dreams. It is discouraging.
We get him to where we think he is good then boom! Down again. He is a senior in hight school this year but it started prior. I am at a loss. I try so hard yet I get the same reaction. “I’m good for a few days” then boom. Another fall.
I try to help y’all out so I figured reaching for yours. I’m a worried mom hoping to save my son. I called the school counselor and they are working with us but this is something I am not prepared for.
Get him into therapy, or even try and have a heart to heart with him. Ask him why he feels this way, if something triggers it or what makes him all of a sudden go back down. Talking to a therapist will help, they can ask the right questions and maybe be able to diagnose him with something and get him medication.
Get him to a psychiatrist to get evaluated. When I was his age I wish my parents would have pushed harder for me. He may just need a mood stabilizer or an antidepressant to help him out. It doesn’t have to be a forever thing but he definitely is struggling with depression. A lot of mental health issues are hereditary so think about people in your family that have some issues and bring it up at an appointment. Good luck momma! You are your child’s best advocate, fight for him!
The way that life is set up, he’s not wrong. Essentially we do live to work, and work to die. Lmao.
And have you tried talking to him? Like legitimately talking to him? You cannot help someone that does not want to be helped. Does he want to seek a counselor? Is the school counselor enough? Talk to your son! Listen, don’t just be a white knight. Tell him you want to understand where he’s coming from and do what you can to support him the way he needs.
This sounds like me as a teen, but my parents never done anything to help, so good on you for helping your child in every way you have been able to think of. That’s amazing! On a side note, again since it sounds so much like what I was like as a teen, I ended up getting diagnosed with BPD later on in life. Maybe something to look into. X
Oh mama, my heart breaks for you because I’m going through the same with my son. He has started smoking/ vaping pot because it’s the only thing that calms him down he says. No matter how often I find the Vapes and throw them away he gets another. I have him in counseling but he has her fooled into thinking he’s all good. I’m lost and broken too. Hoping we can save our boys hugs to you
If he is talking about harming himself… DO NOT leave him alone by himself at all… until you talk to a doctor and then do as the doctor suggest. It doesn’t matter if he wants help or not. MANY stories of ppl recovering from drugs or suicide tell stories about how greatful they are someone cares enough to force the help. It is true it doesn’t always work… for sure when ppl don’t want help, BUT so many so get help, make changes, and are very thankful. He is 17 and that is a difficult age. You are his mother and at this point you know what he needs. It’s normal for him not to talk to you, but def get him an emergency doctors appointment.
Harming himself is concerning. Of coarse. Seek professional help. But reastically he’s not wrong about how he views the world. I think he just got a very good sense of the ugly truth. But this could be a great thing, he may be not be meant to live life as a worker. Maybe spark his interest with entrepreneurship. Maybe this can be an inspiration to strive to be his own boss.
To be honest I always viewed life the same. Go to school, and work for someone until you die. But I started reading books and I’m inspired to be eventually get out of the rat race. Rich dad Poor dad is a great book. Maybe he’ll enjoy that.
He will b pissed at lil bro and at u for getting councilors involved, just tell him its coz you really love him and care try to b normal around him tho dnt keep harping on about it and asking all the time “are u OK” it’s really suffocating. As long as he knows u love him, then just try to pretend it’s not an issue, move on, hav fun play and go out like normal
I have a son with severe PTSD, anxiety disorder, depression and seizures…its a road I’ve bn on 12 years and just 3 years ago we found out his diagnosis…I’m still learning everyday,but please find him some therapy…there maybe is something bottled up inside that he wont discuss and its bothering him and someone he trusts well he needs to talk with…my son is still a daily dose of wonder how today is gonna b. My son has always bn a great youngman…no drugs,alcohol and a homebody…but my x husband…my sons father took his own life…he absolutely hurt and devastated my boys… it’s just my 2 sons took his death different, and my boys r absolutely night and day…I’m open for any questions u have or would like to ask…my son sees a psychiatrist and therapist…I can try and help with what I do know…best wishes…feel free to message me
The old “if they are talking about it its a cry for help” is so true. In the last 18mths I’ve lost my stepbrother and stepmother. The devastation is unmeasurable for those left behind. Please get professional help now, don’t wait
That’s so scary and sad.
I highly recommend hypnotherapy. I’ve been seeing a licensed hypnotherapist for ptsd and anxiety and it is changing my life!
My hypnotherapist was severely depressed and attempted suicide several times before someone recommended hypnotherapy to him. It saved his life.
He is now healed from those destructive thought patterns.
I’d seriously do this first thing if he was my child.
If you feel that he is in immediate harm to himself, you can always call your local crisis team to be evaluated. They will help you to get extra support
poor kid. What’s so messed up is he isn’t wrong in a way. That’s all my approaching 40 friends who haven’t used their degrees yet. Definitely get him some help. Listen to the signs and take them seriously.
Is he being bullied at school? Look into a short term inpatient facility in your area. They can supervise and work around the clock finding the right meds that will work for his mental health if need be. The ER is always an emergency option if necessary as well.
I def think he needs help but hes not wrong. The point of school is to set us up to work. And when you earned enough to experience life like vacations and have actual breaks you are retired. Yeah a vacation every year or 2 during working. But still. School sucks. Maybe also suggest a hobby for him? Welding helps a lot of people who feel that way. Trades isnt cut and dry when it comes to schooling. 4 year colleges isnt for everyone
There’s a difference between self harm and suicide. It’s time for the hard questions and if he refuses to answer them then it’s straight to the ER or call the police to escort him to the hospital.
You need to ask what his plans are/was and what he plans to use and why, depending on those answer’s ER for evaluation (they will do up a prevention plan and more than likely send him home) or Drs for a referral to psychologist. If it’s ongoing it might be time for psychiatrist.
At a later point a conversation about who is appropriate to talk to about his mental health needs to happen.
Sounds a whole lot like Bipolar disorder. Speaking from experience don’t discount what he is saying. There are meds and therapy that can help him exist in the world. I say that because sometimes I can adult and be apart of the world but most of the time I’m struggling just like I was when I was a teen.
https://youtu.be/WcSUs9iZv-g this video has helped me so many times. It shows you that it gets better, there’s help out there for mental illnesses. Hang in there! It gives you another perspective on teens who delt with mental illness that are now adults. I hope your son finds the help he needs.
I mean, he isn’t wrong with his thinking. Many peoples lives are like that. & its kind of always been that way. As shitty as it is. (People are probably gonna shit on this but its true.)
But it sounds like him telling his sibling is a cry for help. And the therapy you shouldnt have stopped or maybe it just wasn’t working and he needs a better mental health evaluation
You do what you have to do, if your son is that angry at his brother he may have wanted your youngest to keep quiet about what he heard and by the sounds of things your youngest is quiet smart in speaking up. Write a positive note to your son on how he is meant for so much more in life, how much you and his brother love him but would be devastated if anything ever happened to him…
Make sure you tell him and let him know that when he finishes school he will achieve all of his dreams but only he can make that happen.
Don’t doubt him or his intentions. Take it from someone who has buried entirely too many family members from suicide. Get him in w a private therapist, out of school. And he sounds like he needs meds of some kind. For the love of god, don’t be that parent who refuses meds. They’re a lifesaver. Good luck. But don’t give up. He is asking for help. Give it to him before he’s no longer willing to do that.
He either needs some spiritual or creative outlet, like finding a church or releasing his emotions thru art therapy for instance, or he needs to start volunteering with disadvantaged people, or sick children for instance. Helping other people helps us to get out of our heads and it’s really the purpose of why we’re here. Your son is intelligent enough to figure out that school, college, soulless job to earn money is not the reason we are here, and rather than feel hopeless, he needs to see the real reason we are here and the only rewarding and fulfilling point of life is to help other people who are in more need than we are
He sounds like he has mental health issues. He needs more than therapy. He may need to be on some anti depressants. I have mental health issues and this is exactly how I felt without medication.
Mom acknowledge he is right. Because he is if you think about it. As humans , we go to school, go to work for the man. ( everyone i know had a boss of some form ) . Some of us even make more humans to keep the chain going. I don’t care if you make a little money or a lot.
Then talk about what he enjoys doing. Helping people, working on things, writing, help him find his thing. He might enjoy learning how to live off the grid and breaking the cycle.
First of all paint him a picture of how does the think his little brother feels. That’s not being a good big brother and quite selfish I think to disclose that kind of information with a kid in the first place and tell him to keep it secret. What does he think if his little brother kept it a secret and he had hurt himself? how will his brother feel then? How is his brother going to go through life dealing with that. Ask him let him have a good think about that.
Your concern shows that your are a good, caring and loving mother!! As someone who lost someone VERY close to my heart in February to suicide, I urge you to take his pains and WARNING signs very seriously. He sounds like he may need some medicine to help him along until you get to the root of the issue. I truly believe the right counselor can turn it around ! Please help him while you’re able and he is willing. We saw NO signs from our loved one, he left no note, and it is the most intense pain I’ve ever felt in my life and I wish it on no one! Mental health is so important and should be taken very seriously. I wish you the best of luck with getting him the help he needs to be a happy ,young, 18 year old boy who has a lot to look forward to! Prayers to your family and my inbox is open if you ever want to talk judgement free.
Check his vitamin levels. I found a teen boy specific multi vitamin and found out low vitamin d levels increase depression. Good luck. He needs an outlet something fun and outdoor time.
The poor love, some of my kids have been through similar, a good doc and referral to councillor is a must. Being a teenager these days is pretty daunting. I hope things improve for all of you. X
First off, thank goodness your eight year old was brave enough to say something. Please be sure you let him know that he did the right thing. Secondly, it’s great that you are aware of his feelings because some parents have no idea. Has he seen a psychiatrist? He needs to be evaluated and most likely needs medication for depression and he could have a combination of many other things. If he is that bad you may ultimately have to admit him. I know as parents we want to put a bandaid on everything and fix their pain, but it’s important to get him professional help. I pray that you find help for him. God bless this young man and his family.
Take him to counseling and don’t stop. Seems like he needs it. Get some for your 8 yr old too.
Change the way you talk about your employers around him. It’s having a negative effect on him. Explain that you work hard in your youth so that you can have fun and reap the benefits of it all when you’re older
Find out what the root causes are and he needs the right type of counseling not just random counseling that he doesn’t feel helped by. He might need Dialectal Behavior Therapy. I’m also a former self-harming teen and I was that way because of my mother and root causes of not being able to have a normal self-esteem or outlook on life because of her issues, neglect and abuse. This will carry through school and feeling rejected when they don’t realize their worth.
I’m going through the same thing with my 18 year old daughter. She is and has been on mild antidepressants for a couple years now. They aren’t really working anymore. I have her scheduled for a counselor but seems a lot of people go, so the wait is weeks out. I’m at a loss. My heartbreaks Watching her go through this. She barely eats or gets up. I just keep encouraging her to come with me anywhere and sometimes she will come outside to sit and talk with me. I give her all the words of advice I can, but the battle is really hers. Prayers for all our young people battling depression and anxiety. As a momma it’s killing me. I just want to take their pain. Blessings to you and your son. Wish I had an easy fix. My daughters appt. Is finally coming up on October 5. Until then I keep monitoring her and trying to get her to feel as good as I can. I know the pain.
Counseling as well as talking to him about his career path. I did well in school, but the idea of sitting through college for four years to sit in a cubicle for eight hours a day made me miserable. That’s not for everybody, maybe a trade school or special interest like art, etc. What does he show interest in and see himself doing in the future that makes him happy?
Sounds about like I felt as a teen, I say most teens are on an emotional rollercoaster and its not fun at all. I regret not talking to someone. Therapy yes medication? I dont know maybe try more exercise, or music something to expell his emotions. I used to paint and do journalling it helped work through a lot of it.
Also he is not really wrong we do go to school work and die. but there is so much in between that can be uplifting and beautiful. Main goal is to have a job you love no matter the pay.
Lynn has a program called Raw Arts! It’s amazing! I was involved with them as a troubled youth, and they helped to change/save my life in some ways… maybe he is having girl problems… when I was that age, alot of my depressed emo friends were upset they couldn’t get girlfriends, and keep them… idk, have no idea what you guys life is like… but all you can do is love him, and make sure to try and be there when he does wanna talk… or give him as many tools as you can to try and pull himself out… this is a real tough situation, and I am sending all the love to you and you whole family right now! Also, tell the 8 year old, they are a rock star, cuz it must have been hard to betray his brother but that was the right thing to do!! Idk if I would have been so brave to tell on my teenage siblings at age 9…
In patient treatment may save his life. They will do lab work to see if there is a chemical imbalance.
He needs counseling and therapy.
As parents, you can help.
Step in and look at the music he is listening to.
Look at his friends. Look at video games and things he could be doing that contribute to depression and suicide.
Make the necessary changes.
If you aren’t a praying family start now!
Maybe try a psychiatrist and a regular counselor. Not just a school counselor. Maybe even a hospital stay. If he’s having thoughts of harming himself…you have to take it seriously. Ive been there. Talk to him. Talk to them both. You dont want your younger son to feel bad for telling you. What a hard situation. Im so sorry. Ill say a prayer for your family tonight. Maybe you can all do family counseling. Have you ever heard of NAMI? My parents went a few times and found it helpful. I wish they had kept going…
Please consider an inpatient facility. That is the safest place for everyone right now. You will know and sleep better knowing that he is safe. It sounds like the others have said and a medication or medical intervention may be needed if this is a continual thing that happens something clearly happened or is going on for him that counseling alone or the counselor specifically isn’t helping with.
You should take your son to seek medical assistance immediately. And then I would maybe have him talk to a suicide survivor, take some time to spend some one on one time with him, maybe have him see a therapist as a school counselor isn’t anywhere near as skilled in helping with these types of situations. Each kid is different so it’s hard to speak to his exact situation but definitely seek professional medical help,
Sounds like your son has a real medical need in the way of mental health. The pandemic and senior year could have been a trigger! Please get him evaluated for psychiatric reasons he may benefit from medical intervention in the form of medication, have his thyroid and blood work checked in a physical because that can present as what you are seeing! Sounds like family therapy might be good too so he can hear and process how those he cares about are processing and coping with his behavior rather then just being angry at little brother!
Has something big happen recently
Like losing a family member
Or close friends went different paths or brake up ?
There is something that is causing these feelings
I have read the comments and agree with them your son may need to go on some medication and definitely keep an eye on the eight-year-old so he will not harm him or get into his head or stuff like that you may think it won’t happen but if he is in a dark place anything could actually happen he definitely needs some test done and probably some type of medication
I went through similar. Same mind set and everything. Taking him seriously is a step in the right direction. A lot of people shrugged me off and thought I was ‘attention seeking’ which made it much worse. I found counselling very useless personally. Once I finished school and left that toxic environment and started work I got better. I’d say take him to a private psychologist. It costs more but they are more eager to help the situation than what public psychologists are.
School/work isn’t the answer to anything . I hated both from day 1. He needs to find something he enjoys doing to find purpose again and you need to get him in to see a psychiatrist
I’ve been in a similar situation. 2 suicide attempts and over a decade of harming myself. The most important thing, I think, is not taking away the supports once he seems okay. I’ve been doing really well for the last ~4 years. I still go to therapy every other week so that I can maintain that.
I also went though very similar at 19/20. I just didn’t see the point in life. My counselor was amazing but I did go private. Really made me understand my emotions and recognise when my depression and anxiety were in the front seat and how to stop and adjust the situation. I always try to see the positives around me now and be grateful for the happiness in my life.
It’s a hard journey though, and your son is only going to get there if he wants too. You can lead a horse to water but you can’t force it to drink. So long as your are providing him with options, he can make a decision best for him. But you can’t force it either because he might just push it away. It’s worth sitting down with him and getting everything all out in the open and see where his mind is at. Good luck x
One thing I try to make sure my students know is that college isn’t the only direction in life. There are trade schools, civil service jobs, self employment, etc. There are so many options that don’t require being forced into a college degree and a lifetime of working for a CEO at some company. Is he aware of these options? It might help to show him examples of this so he knows that life isn’t completely hopeless and he also doesn’t have to know what he wants to do with his life right now. High school seems like the most daunting thing when you’re in it and it’s hard to look past. Maybe having a clearer picture of life after high school will help him.
It’s a view that a lot of people share I felt the exact same way at that age I had been in and out of the psych ward many times by 17 and I still feel that way about working for a ceo for a low wage but I don’t work for anyone but myself now .just speaking from my own experience I could have used some inspiration/help in seeing or knowing that I can start my own company work for myself and not have to become another cog in the broken financial system I felt like a slave to society until I started carving out my own path now I’m not well I’m off but my bills are paid and I can cover emergency’s as they come up but the satisfaction knowing that i broke out of that system I can’t even describe it I have much less now then I did say 5 years ago but I don’t cry myself to sleep and I don’t hate that I have to work my ass off to be able to get by while the fruits of my labour are enjoyed by a soul individual I do have to work my ass off to get by but it’s for me and for the people around me guess what I’m saying is well he’s right to feel like that honestly he’s not wrong we live in a world where the rich gain wealth and don’t pass it back into the economy it’s how our system was based . We trusted the wrong people and they are still in charge But it doesn’t have to work that way for him some of the richest men in the world dropped out of high school and universities that’s not saying schools not important to a certain degree but it shows what an individual is capable of when they believe in themselves and believe that they can break out of the system I can’t speak for him but if he’s anything like me and the people ive met who are like me we live to escape the norm in a big way we are dreamers in a reality that exists in a world not meant for us to succeed but when we find the reason to say fuck that! we will fight tooth and nail for it or die trying and we would be happy ether way cuz we fought for what we believed in . It sounds stupid I know. But hope means a lot to a kid that age hell it means a lot to a guy my age… I saw the world for what it is and felt powerless to stop it I might not be able to change the world but I can change a few peoples worlds and that’s a start sorry for the massive comment I just strongly relate to what I perceive from what you said
Agreed with above comments 100%! I dealt with the same issues personally and finding a different mindset was hard and had to be forced at first. I never wanted therapy, I never wanted medication. The one time I tried medication it made it substantially worse and that was when I decided to be better for myself rather than relying on something else. But don’t take my comment as an answer, every single person is different. I know people who therapy saved them, I know people who medication saved them. My only suggestion is that when these thoughts and feelings are real, attention for it is the last thing you want- so I would be careful about how much attention you bring to it. Don’t stop being there and don’t stop trying, but be careful about how many you get involved. It may not be the case, but sometimes it can cause a downward spiral because in that mental state you feel people look down on you or pity you and you don’t want to feel more weak than you make yourself feel already, even if that’s not the case from the outside looking in. You’re a good mom, keep being there for him. Suffering in silence can be a really bad thing but when you feel that way it’s all you want. It won’t be an easy path, there will be anger and sadness and many other emotions, but in the long run he will be so thankful you cared enough and showed it. Sending good vibes to you and your family
P.S. something that helped me a ton was removing sadness from my surroundings. I threw away my razor blades, I stopped listening to sad music, stopped following pages that posted sad stuff, and even stopped watching movies that triggered any form of negative emotion. It took a while but eventually it worked, now I can see all those things and know I grew from it. But I had to do it myself, if someone told me to do it I think I may have thought that was a ridiculous idea as I found comfort in things I related to, even if it triggered me. I didn’t want to pretend I was something I wasn’t, happy was not me. But I found it, and I’m proud, and no matter what there is a way to break free and be happy, it just takes A LOT of work, some time, and some positive realizations.
Get your son on antidepressants and talking to a psychologist immediately. Don’t wait. He may even need to be admitted temporarily, depending how severe his depression is.
School counsellors don’t cut it.
And don’t forget to take care of the 8-year-old as well. He may have saved his brothers life, but he won’t be feeling good about it.
Tbh he’s not wrong . I think the whole generation feels a little like that, when you can’t afford to ever buy a house because the cost is ridiculous, you work for low wages because no one will pay for experience. I kinda get it, he just needs to find something he’s interested in and possibly some antidepressants to try to see the positive side.
Obviously get him help, but beyond that hobbies man, find him something to give him a meaning to his life. Volunteering, helping others, painting, music. I was the same way as a teenager, it’s a dismal world, show him there is more than working. I’ve been feeling this too, just a cog in someone else’s machine, life is beautiful he just needs help finding his purpose.
Noticing alot of people jumping strait for the meds. I think there is a glaring issue here already won’t talk to you but will talk to his brother feel that says something about how you’ve dealt with things in the past. I would say stop tying him up or “pushing him a certain way” your life for him is not his life for himself. I know when I lost my dad at 14 I had moments but I’m 23 now and still kicking. I’ve had dealing with meds more than most and now I’m 4 months clean off them. They are by no means the answer
I was him. I get it. He needs to see a psychiatrist and get on some meds. Maybe try therapy. He wants help he just doesn’t know how to ask. What he’s feeling is complicated and confusing and so hard to talk about due to fear of being judged or scaring someone. Just be there for him.
See an adolescent psychiatrist who specialises in things like this. I have teens and I’m worried about how fragile they can be also. One thing and boom it sets them off. I really hope he gets the help he needs xx
When I was a teen I was much the same as him. Starting a short term round of antidepressants and finishing school helped a ton. Just be patient, kind, and let him know you love and care for him and will support him however you can. Encourage any hobbies or interests that he may have. But remember that you can not save him. Only he can make the choice to accept the support he is being given.
Lol but where’s the lie though.
Life is hard and then we die whether we enjoyed it or not. Existence really is pain for some and I don’t believe we can ever truly change that for any one individual, it’s just varying degrees of severity in our lives.
You’re getting your son counseling, that’s the right thing to do. Try professional therapy. You’re doing more than many parents could or would. Keep doing it.
Good luck. x
stop trying to save him and start being a light to him. he doesn’t trust you and doesn’t feel safe opening up to you because you’re so focused on “fixing him” rather than listening to him and understanding what he wants and what he needs.
if he’s seeing a therapist, it isn’t working. find another, and keep trying until you find one that’s a fit. see a psychiatrist as well. they’ll nail down a diagnosis and see if he needs meds.
more than anything, he needs a mom. not a doctor, and not even really a friend. a mom that he knows will be there and is going to love him unconditionally. i know your heart is 100% in the right place, but try to come at it from a more empathetic angle <3
Change his diet too, I did Acupuncture.
Sugar causes depression.
I do not have time to explain now.
Try You tube and research on his issues.
He needs a vision and task in his life.
Take him with to volunteer underprivileged and sick kids.
Sounds like you
Need to get him
Assess by a physiologist to do an assessment to rule out any form of mental health, that way can help your child better manage his depression instead keep giving him counselling. Counselling can only do so much, having a diagnosis for the counsellor to work with, will help give child find ways to cope in a healthy way and find what triggers these feelings and to look for the signs before you get to that dark place. Hope I make sense x
He needs to know the reason why he exists, was created and what his purpose is in life. He needs the lord. Might not be a popular advice but a Christian counsellor is a must.
I’m 42 years old and still feel like that sometimes, that we are born, work and then die. I suffer with depression and anxiety. I feel this young man needs medical help and therapy as quickly as possible. Hobbies and fun things are great, but depression often prevents us from doing those things. Good luck xx
Unfortunately, I am sorry to say. His depression and his demons are his own. You can guide and nurture but he has to want to fight for his life. And just to let you know, he fights every single day just to live already. I have been battling severe depression for over 15 years, one suicide attempt already. It’s a demon you have to learn to live with. I’ll send up a prayer.
Maybe it’s time to talk to his doctor. Even if it’s nothing that needs any medication or anything major, it could be comforting for you to at least hear that this can be normal for some kiddos and give you things to watch out for prayers are with you guys
Encourage him to travel watch blogs of people traveling the world. Give him alternative ideas of trades he could use on his adventures. Create an image of power in his hands even if the social structure is how it is. There’s always other ways of doing things. The world has changed I cannot help but feel empathy for these kids. Do fun things as a family. Teach long term effects on behaviours meditation spiritual teachings.
I was an angsty teen to say the least but then I got transferred to a school run by hippies and started going to counseling. It really helped my outlook on life.
My son was a very violent and depressed young man, he was diagnosed with child bipolar. It’s a long road to get them through but they do get there eventually
Get him committed for mental health if you have to. You can do this through the courts. Try and find out if he has a substance abuse problem. That could explain the ups and downs. He may resent you if you do this. He will get over it. Don’t wait to long. If he does something drastic you will never be the same. I’m a depression and addict survivor. At least surviving day to day.God speed.
Please get him psychiatric help as soon as possible. He probably needs anti-depressants and the wisdom of someone trained in mental health - not a school counsellor.
Ultimately, remember you can’t watch him 24 hours a day and none of this is your fault
get him into a mental health professional, and then when he is 18 see if there are any bigger diagnoses to make. self harm, anger, only being okay for a few days and not viewing the world as good is a couple signs of borderline personality disorder. i struggled with it all my life and just recently got diagnosed. it could be teenage angst, or it could be more. definitely get into a medical professional.
A journal might also help so he can write down his thoughts and feelings. Often I just can’t get the thought out of my head and it keeps running through my head over and over I guess it’s another form of ocd.
Professionals but also lots of listening. Be there for him. If the 8 year old fancies sleepovers with mates you can focus on your troubled son. Findcwats for him to let it out. Notebooks for him to write it out. Art? Guitar? Finding things he loves? Changing schools? But listen. Let him take time off school if he wants.
Sounds like he might be bi-polar. I would take him and have him tested and get him into a psychiatrist.
It might be an option to put him in an adolescent program.
There they will test him and make a diagnosis. This is an inpatient program and most places it’s for 30 days.
But they have group therapy as well as family therapy.
I did this with one of my boys and it helped do much.
He was 14 at the time.
But I wouldn’t wait.
First: seek professional help.
Second: seek professional help.
Get him involved in sports and/or other extra curricular activities. Get family and friends involved. He will probably feel that his private life is somewhat invaded at first, but that may help get his mind away from harming himself.
Tell him that he is absolutely right about the CEO worker-slave relationship (BTW, he is right) and that he must be very bright and woke to be looking at it that way, however, that does not change anything unless he starts doing something about it. Aak him what he thinks he wants to/can do to change that situation? Maybe do a job where he can be his own boss? Go into art, non-profit, get a job where he can help others and feel more fulfilled? Make a change even if it’s small?
Just talk to him. Don’t give up on him.
Sounds like he would benefit from peer support counselor. They are also easier to get appts with and can help set up an appt with psych dr if needed. Lots of hospitals and mental health have them these daya
poor kid. What’s so messed up is he isn’t wrong in a way. That’s all my approaching 40 friends who haven’t used their degrees yet. Definitely get him some help. Listen to the signs and take them seriously. 
& its kind of always been that way. As shitty as it is. (People are probably gonna shit on this but its true.)
but there is so much in between that can be uplifting and beautiful. Main goal is to have a job you love no matter the pay.
Talk to him. Talk to them both. You dont want your younger son to feel bad for telling you. What a hard situation. Im so sorry. Ill say a prayer for your family tonight. Maybe you can all do family counseling. Have you ever heard of NAMI? My parents went a few times and found it helpful. I wish they had kept going…
. I think the whole generation feels a little like that, when you can’t afford to ever buy a house because the cost is ridiculous, you work for low wages because no one will pay for experience. I kinda get it, he just needs to find something he’s interested in and possibly some antidepressants to try to see the positive side.
