How do I tell my husband and doctor?

I’m pregnant with my third baby, and I feel like some days my depression is worse than other or my anxiety is acting up more than normal. I’m realizing that my depression is getting in the way of being a good mother to my kids, and a good wife to my husband.

So I guess my question is, how do I go about being open and telling my husband and my doctor I feel
Like I need help? Or how do I help myself? (I am not very good about expressing how I feel. And it’s hard to admit I need help)I just want to get better for my family, and for me. I want to be happy but it seems like I have a black void around me all the time.

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You just need to tell them, tell them you need help. It’s very common to feel how you do, so don’t be scared to tell them what’s going on. It’s good you notice & are trying to figure out how to handle it so I would just say take a deep breath and let your dr know. Wishing you the best xx

Tell them exactly how you just phrased it to us. You are not less of a mom or wife just because you are dealing with depression and anxiety. You are filling all these rolls-- being a wife, a mom, creating a new tiny human, and looking at your own mental health & trying to stay healthy-- I would hug you right now if I was talking to you.

What you are feeling is normal, but it’s a great idea to seek outside help. I only have 1 child, but I definitely suffered from depression & anxiety during & after pregnancy. It took me a long to recognize it for what it was. The fact that you can name what you are feeling and want to open up to loved ones and a medical professional is great. It won’t be easy, but the sooner you get help, thr less difficult it can be. I learned some great coping mechanisms through therapy that I otherwise would never have known about.

On another note, if you find a doctor or therapist that doesn’t meet your needs or doesn’t listen to you, find another. Doctors are not one size fits all when it comes to people

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How do I tell my husband and doctor? - Mamas Uncut

Be honest and take a deep breath. Have comfort in knowing you’re doing the right thing and brave for asking for help. Be honest in your conversation so that you can get the help that you do need.

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Get yourself to a doctor!! ASAP

Tell them both like you just told us. Word for word.:hugs:

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Personally I found a therapist to help me learn how to deal with my emotions and how to process things in a more effective way. I didn’t want to be on medication although it is needed for some people and it’s there to help so it should be something that is deeply thought about and a choice should be made based on what is best for you if you want to go that route or not. There are other methods to help you control your anxiety and depression such a breathing techniques and meditation. It was hard admitting to my husband that I needed help and things aren’t perfect but they are definitely getting better for me. It’s okay to need help. You’re only human and you will get though this bump in the road! :purple_heart: Sending you positive vibes and healing energy. You are stronger than you know mama!

Also if you need someone to talk to my inbox is open and I’d love to be a listening ear if you needed it. There is light at the end of the tunnel. Stay positive.

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It’s going to be an emotional conversation. Depending on how supportive your husband is I would start out by saying “I need to talk to you about something important and I need you to take it seriously. I’m feeling very mentally unwell and I need professional help.”
WHETHER you tell your husband before or after, regardless you need to talk to your doctor. ASAP.
Call tomorrow and tell them you need to make an appointment about mental health ASAP. No it cannot wait. If they try to schedule you for 2 months from now tell then you are unwell and it cannot wait.
Mental health can go from “eh I’m struggling” to “I’m drowning I want to d!e or hurt someone NOW” very quickly!! A person can go from 0 to 100 within hours! Like a flip of a switch. I’m so serious.
Feel free to just unload on your doctor. They will do mental health screenings. Ask you about your intrusive thoughts and if you feel hopeless.
Please be honest with them so they can give you the best care you deserve!!
They will not take your children away for you reaching out for help.
They’ll give you resources to therapists also.

I’m rooting for you. This shit is so so hard.
You are not alone
You are loved.
You are important.
You got this :yellow_heart:

Exactly how you just told us. If you think it’s easier tell your doctor then your husband once treatment starts. There shouldn’t be any shame but unfortunately for moms there is. Take care of yourself and positive vibes. :heart:

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When your pregnant the baby needs a lot if vitamins and nutrients that are used thru Mom’s intake. So it’s only natural that you would be deficient in several. The older we are the less we have to give. Vitamin D3 is a natural antidepressant. Ask your Dr for a vitamin panel. I had to be prescribed vitamin supplements. I pretty much needed double that a prenatal was not enough. I lost insurance and learned that about vitamins for natural help. Niacin is a natural antidepressant as well and aids in the brain development. God bless and hope all works out. Talk about all this with your Dr. Google all you can because some docs don’t know.

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I always right down how I feel if I can’t express it. My Dr knows I have a hard time with words and expressing feeling so I find this the easiest. Tell your Dr so they can get you the best help.

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Write your heart out in a letter and give it to them. That way you have time to think of what you really need to say

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Just get it over with and say how you feel. This was me months ago, I was too worried about everyone else and their reaction than my own and put off help for YEARS. Got help in August and I have been 1000% better most days. Good luck to you! The most valuable thing you can invest in is yourself, don’t be ashamed to ask for help!

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Just get it over with and say how you feel. This was me months ago, I was too worried about everyone else and their reaction than my own and put off help for YEARS. Got help in August and I have been 1000% better most days. Good luck to you! The most valuable thing you can invest in is yourself, don’t be ashamed to ask for help!

Take little steps saying how you feel hun!
If you don’t want to to seek help then slowly let it out!
Do it all at once on your partner will destroy your relationship,so not a good idea😅
Sitting down and talking a bit at a time is better;)

Be honest and tell them. My boyfriend has to be on high alert after I have this baby. (My 4th his 2nd) I have a bad history with depression (I’m also bi polar) i warned him after baby 3 (his first) but he helps me a lot. My ex husband is the one who told my ob after I had our first and second. I told my current I get real bad (so far 1 and 2 were my worse episodes. Minus the episode I’m in right now with this baby who isn’t born yet.)

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Where do u live. It’s winter. Maybe you get seasonal depression because of cold and dark

You can tell the fb world and not tell them come on now

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You are so brave for asking for help as so many people do not or do not know how to… Just seeking advice is strength and there is wisdom in that, blessings to you♥️

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Write it down on paper when you have the time and hand it to your husband. Explain to him you’ve had a hard time verbalizing what’s going on and you’re using this as a way to start the conversation.

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Tell your doctor exactly what you said in your first paragraph.

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“I feel like I need help.”

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Just come out with it! There are usually signs associated with depression but a lot of men are oblivious and won’t see it. Hell, a lot of people suffering from depression don’t even realize the symptoms. He’s your husband. If he loves you, he will be supportive and want you to seek help. As for your doctor, that’s what they’re there for. To help you and guide you through your medical care.

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You’re so brave for being able to reach out for help!! I agree maybe write it all down and hand your hubby the paper. He can then help you make a doctor’s appointment and go with you for support! You’ve got this!!!

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Communication is key!

Research MTHFR genetic mutation! If you’re taking folic acid, that is a huge part of the problem if not the root!

Half the country has some variant and turns folic acid (which is man made synthetic folate! Our bodies need folate! People with mthfr mutation can’t process the folic acid to folate) into a neurotoxin. Finding out I had the most serious mutation literally changed my life. I avoid folic acid like the plague and my anxiety and depression gone! Drs told me I had MS and so many other health problems. Once I cut out folic acid in my entire life (food and supplement form) ALL symptoms gone! Something to look into! Can also cause you to throw clots. I had a stroke at 23 when my daughter was a month old. Definitely something to look into especially with everything prenatal and after

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When I have something I need to tell both my doctor and husband I find it easier if I just have my husband go with me to the appointment so that way I can tell them both at the same time. It also helps because if my husband has any questions about whatever is going on then the doctor is there.

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You just tell them you’re depressed and would like some help. I know welbutrin is safe for pregnant people so maybe you can take that and get some therapy. I hope you are feeling healthier soon.

I just went thru this. I finally told my husband and he sat down with me and I felt a bit better. I also have a psych who i see and she suggested counseling once a week. I got sooo down that i was scared. I HAD to talk to someone.

First of breath. Exhale. Alot of anxiety coming through. You recognizing this is the main tool you need. This will your motivation. I would suggest a letter maybe just to yourself at first where you come to say how your truly feeling in all aspects. Then when your ready, when you have your feelings in check , you can begin to tell yout partner. I say this bc not all SO will be sensitive what your trying to express. After you talk to your SO. Tell your Dr!! They can’t help you if your not honest and ask for a w a therapist to talk to. I used to go to one. Some ppl don’t like therapy, but after I used it, it made my soul feel better and a little easier to cope esp if you have no frds or family. I had to talk to some one on the outside someone who was unbiased. You can get past this.

I would just tell them how you feel. It’s not uncommon and I think it feels better getting that stuff out into the open. They probably will help you any way that they ccan. It’s going to be okay :heavy_heart_exclamation:

Search out a therapist. Therapy does me wonders

Write it down and give it to them or show them this post. The sooner you get help, the better you’ll feel. Try to see the light at the end of the tunnel. In my worst depressive episodes I always told myself that if I got help, this was temporary, and I would come out the other side sooner or later. After the last time I was really depressed, once I got out of the pit I started a low maintenance dose of antidepressants and have not sunk into a depression for decades.

Maybe sometime in the future get counseling to learn ways to share your feelings. Good, open communication is the key to good relationships.

You can do this! And you will! And you will get better! Take the first step. You can even ask your hubs to make an appointment for you. Text him the info now. Let him know that whenever he sees you sinking to feel free to call health professionals and make an appointment for you.

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The same exact words you just wrote above. But do not expect them to fix it, only you can. Sometimes it makes it worse thinking that now that they know they can fix it, and ppl get more discouraged cuz they don’t, in reality they don’t even understand it and all they can do is love you but you have to do all the work and you can do it.!!!

I’ve been there. Be kind to yourself. Being pregnant with kids is fucking hard!! Don’t expect yourself to be perfect, show yourself some grace. You are literally working 24/7 :muscle: have a talk with your partner about how you’re feeling. Mine always wanted to “fix” the situation but sometimes them just picking up the slack and being there with me was enough. If you need medication that’s fine. Just remember it won’t be solved in a day and what you’re feeling so many have dealt with, you’re not alone!

Do exactly what you did here. Tell them it’s hard for you to open up about it but it’s getting in the way and you need help. There are medications that are safe to take during pregnancy, if that’s what you want to do. You can see a counselor. But the first thing is telling the people around you, who love and support you, that you are struggling. No one will think any less of you as a mother, and if they do they can go F themselves. It’s takes an amazing amount of strength to admit you’re not ok. :heart:

I always chickened out whenever it was time to talk to the doctor. I started writing lists and letters. I just basically write a list and give it to the doctor and she then questions me about it. Works great for me

You admitted it here…so just tell them. Tell your husband in a letter if it will help. If you dont tell your doctor you cant get help.

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Therapy doesn’t help. They make you look unstable and crazy. It’s not uncommon for you to feel the way you do and do your best to write out your feelings so maybe you can better understand them yourself.

Just be honest about how you are feeling.

The fact that you’re at all hesitant to tell your husband tells me this, tell your dr first and start treatment before you have this baby and develop ppd. After the dr appointment then tell your husband whats up. I hope your hubs is supportive in this sometimes they just don’t get it.

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Use other modes of communication like social media, then spend time studying the Bible, u would be amazed. Yeah the word of God is Therapeutic.

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I went through this and still do to a point just not as bad as before. I was lucky that my husband noticed what was going on but as far as your doctor just tell them. They will help you don’t be afraid to tell them that’s why they are there is to help you

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They should be aware of your preexisting depression and it wouldn’t be a surprise to your doctor. The changes pregnancy causes in our bodies scan worsen our mental health issues sometimes. They may want you to try therapy, medications, whatever. It’s ok the goal is for you to be stable and healthy! Your husband is hopefully understanding since he knows you have depression already.

And I’m sorry it’s happening to you. I also had this happen when I was pregnant with my second. Literally one minute everything was great and the next it was like everything was even visibly darker and it felt like a black hole had consumed me. Personally I went back on my antidepressants and continued through my postpartum time. It made things so much better! I literally couldn’t function so my first grader learned how to make microwaveable stuff or make sandwiches until I could claw my way back.

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Tell your doctor and your husband. This is a hard time for you and being able to admit you need help will take a load off your shoulders. There are people wanting to help and are understanding. Its not permanent remember that but if you know you are off then seek help.

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Your doctors office doesn’t ask? Mine asks if I have any signs of depression or feeling different at every appointment especially while I was pregnant and since my son was born… I find it odd there are still Dr’s who don’t put that as a first thing to make sure mothers are on

Doctor first. Then husband to help with the streas

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Please go for clinical therapy this really helps if u can’t take meds

Just tell them you are struggling. Your doctor will know how to carry on the conversation to get the info he needs and your husband should know how difficult it is for you to talk about your feeling and ask for help.

I finally opened up about 2 years ago after struggling with my growing anxiety (I now have full panic attacks in the middle of stores and black out) and my depression is at an all time low that I never thought was even possible. I went for help for a while but I have many chronic illnesses and all of that started to get worse too and I was missing all my appointments. A year goes by and I’m still getting worse. I was admitted to hospital for one of my diseases and that’s when I really broke. I spoke to crisis, social worker and my doctor who all agreed I needed to take further action in order to save myself. I completed my first day with my psychiatrist today! Well first time this round lol. She has adjusted some of my medications in hopes it will help balance everything out. I have also started counselling which hasn’t started yet but will over the next couple of weeks.

It’s a long journey but it will all be worth it in the end when I can wear a real smile again. Ask for help love! You deserve it more than you think :kissing_heart:

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Yeah just remember… expectations are pre-meditated resentments.

But remember, don’t be so hard on yourself. Everyone struggles with mental health issues these days! You got this.

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Tell them like you just told us…

Maybe try writing down everything you feel and want to say to them and then read it to them or let them read alone and then respond to you after.

If you can’t talk to your doctor without fear of having a breakdown right then and there try writing it down beforehand and having your doctor read it
Same thing with your husband