Do you and your SO do bills together? If that makes sense. Like I’m a stay at home mom so we reply solely on his paychecks. For the longest time I’ve done our bills and everything money side. Well all of the sudden my husband wants to be apart of it. I’ve done it the same way for so long I’m not sure how to include him. We sat down together this morning to do bills and it ended in a scream match cause I do it differently then what he wants me to do it. Like what??? I don’t want help. I don’t him I don’t need help too. That’s not good enough for him. He makes things so complicated when it comes to money. He’s the type he sees money, he spends money so him helping isn’t really helping.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How do you and your spouse pay bills?
He is looking for corners to cut so he can buy something. But it could be a great learning experience to teach him about budgeting. Best of luck to you.
First- I don’t see anything wrong with him wanting to be in the know. I was out of the know and it ended up screwing me later (not that, that’s your case). Second - maybe you start with a conversation about his past and bills. See if you can get him to communicate what he wants, why he wants it and what’s important about it. Third- I know it’s one income but maybe have a specific account for bill money that you dump into so he can’t “see” over spend the extra ( we have a bill account and 2 personals). Then you will need to find common ground, I know that sucks. I have money triggers because of my past, I was clear about that upfront. I pay all the bills minus 2 (his cell phone and 1 credit card). However our account is joint so he can see all in and all out.
he wants to know where the money HE makes goes to there is nothing wrong with that. You are the one with the issues. He should know what bills there are and everything else what happens if god forbid something happens to you.
He has his heart set on something completely impractical. He knows you would nix it if you could. So, he going to come up with reasons why he will now “start to pay the bills himself.” Except the bills in question won’t get paid.
So, you will be sitting there in a cold, dark house. You will ask why he didn’t pay the utilities this month like he said he would. He’ll shrug, while one hand fiddles with his new gold chain…
So, stay on top of it anyway, no matter how many tantrums he throws.
Most of our bills come out automatically from our joint account. I make sure the car payments are scheduled to come out on their due dates. In years past my husband tried the “ I’ll pay the bills” that didn’t last long. He complained so much about money I cut up my debit card and made him responsible for everything, even making sure my car had gas in it and all the groceries were bought. He stopped complaining real quick.
My husband could care less. We share our money. I’ve been doing our bills for 11 years now. He has no interest of doing bills. But it is still weird all of a sudden he wants to try to learn. I would talk to him and see what’s going on and maybe take a slower way to show him.
We have everything that can be automatically withdrawn. Everything else gets paid as we get the bill in the mail. My husband is in charge of the paying the bills. Since apparently he didn’t like the way I paid them. We have a joint account so I can see everything once it’s done. We have one credit card we use daily and we have a set budget we can not go over . We pay it off monthly. Took us a long time to come up with a system that worked for us and we no longer argue about finances
Certain bills I pay and certain bills my wife pays. Both of us pay bills on time anyways so neither of us worry. If one of us needs help we take care of it together.
My hubby is the same way as yours! I literally sat down & did a spreadsheet for that month bills & 3 months prior. Show him how things fluctuate & we’re all the money goes. He at that point told me I needed to go back to work. However I was prepared for a spreadsheet with child care costs, gas and how much on average I would make. It was something like a $100 extra after paying out everything. He shook his head walked away and left me alone with the bills.
However we both work now, I work 2 jobs. His & my main job (bigger paycheck) goes in a joint account all the household bills are direct withdraw. My 2nd job (on call) goes into my personal account. I pay the childcare when I’m called out the rest of it is savings.
We usually have set things we both pay. But I’ve been on maternity leave so it’s all on him. But going back to work we have a joint account that bills will be paid out of. I just made a bill sheet today to show what needs to be paid with what check.
I stay home also. I did bills….everything was okay. He took over bills….almost put us in the poor house. I now do bills again….everything is okay.
Maybe let him do the bills. Everything could be okay. If it’s not, then take the bills over, again.
He thinks he knows a way to keep more money in his pocket which leads to a bill getting paid later and him having money now then before you know it that bill gets behind blah blah blah and then you end up in a fight because the bills are behind bacasue they thought they could. Story of my life.
I’m a SAHM. My spouse prefers I pay them because I’m the one who has time during the day; but we make most all of the financial decisions together. Can’t have a partnership without trust and compromise.
I paid the bills when I was with my ex. We had separate accounts because I didn’t trust that he’d pay bills on time or at all (yep was a red flag I ignored). Anyway, I kept a spreadsheet of what was due and how much but still didn’t trust him to get it done when I was in the hospital and had to take care of matters when I wasn’t feeling well at all.
I pay the bills out of our account. Over the years 1 or both of us have had a paycheck but still the same account. I have wrote down what needs to be paid when and shown it to him many times. He does have a separate Varo card that we fb money to so he can buy what he needs or wants that I don’t normally get…
i’m in the same situation where my husband is the only one bringing money into the house. we have a joint checking and savings account that i pay all bills from, mostly online, and he has access to the bank account online to look at it as he pleases. he doesn’t, because i’m always up front about what money we have where and he pretty much just asks if we have enough for things that he comes across that he’d like to buy. he’s also disabled so all the out of home spending is done by me for gas, groceries etc plus whatever the kids need. basically i’m in charge of the spending but he can see it anytime he wants to.
I handle all the finances. Tell him what’s left in the accounts and go from there. Bills always get paid before anything. He tried that let me handle it bs and got us into debt. That mess didn’t last long.
I’m the one working and hubby is disabled and will stay home with the baby when the time comes. Basically we try to do our bills, rent, food budget together and split rent from his check and mine. I’m better at budgeting and he let’s me take the lead but also he’s better at keeping up with bills so he does that there has been little argument between us because both of us know exactly where the money is going cause we do it together.
We share the money but I pay the bills and I would be upset too if my hubby came and tried to mess with my system and how I pay bills. All he needs to know is bills get paid and on time. I wouldn’t mind if he wanted to know the “system” and what I pay and when, but don’t come and try to change it around
Just let him do the entire thing. He won’t do it long.
we split them. we have our own accounts, none together. I pay child care, streaming networks, loans, he pays mortgage, electric and heat.
He pays the rent and his bills, I pay all the others he knows we have electric, gas (natural), internet, and phone bills that we both use but I just pay them. He doesn’t know much about my credit cards or how many I have and what I pay he just knows I pay them and I have no idea what bills he has we have separate accts and for now it works for us, we aren’t married.
So we split bills but im the one who keeps track of them all & pays them. I send him bill he gives me half & i pay it. Simple & easy
We pay bills in our name… i pay rent, light, water, car insurance, phones… he pays car, internet… granted all our money goes into one account.