I’m a mother of one. Like so many finding a way to balance mommyhood, work, and home is the ultimate question. My girl is 2 now and on the go all day, and I’m finding more often than not if I want to get anything done around the house, it means only getting 3 hrs of sleep or sometimes less. I’m looking for advice or ways to get things done without feeling like I’m neglecting to spend time with her. I’m afraid to step away for a few minutes, even with cameras and not being more than 15 to 20 ft from her. I completely understand it’s not healthy or rational to be so constantly scared. I know if I want to continue being a good parent, I need to figure out how to control this, so it doesn’t affect her. She is my miracle baby, due to severe health issues, I don’t have the opportunity to ever try again, and even when the smallest things happen to like if she trips and falls while playing, my anxiety goes through the roof. Does anyone deal with this kind of thing? Or am I just crazy? Thanks for reading.
My house always looks like crap but being with my kids are more important it’s not dirty just toys everywhere clothes and maybe a pile of dishes I get what I can get done first thing in the morning then try to keep up during day
You’re doing great momma, every mom with that age of kids going through the exact same
Fist off we’re all crazy. Especially with the first baby and even more if that’s your only miracle you will eventually figure it out!!! Letting some things go is what I’ve tried to do. My friends think I have a cleaning disorder I swear to you it gets easier !!! Keep living in the moment bc it goes by way too fast !!!
Even if you try and tackle a few things for 10 minutes like do a few dishes, tidy the kitchen as you go? Would you have a support network anyone could take her for an hour even or would anyone help you in the house while you look after her? I do a few things when my daughter is in bed and if I’m up earlier than her do a few things then too. The house can always wait, your child will only be little once. Read another story, play for another 10 minutes. Your doing a great job
Definitely not over worried with my first I was a nervous wreck on the inside
When my husband joined the military and we moved away from family, i found that including my daughter in the cleaning and everything around the house was the best solution! She’s 3 now and STILL helps me load the washer and dryer, load and unload the dishwasher, and my mom got her her own set of kid sized cleaning things (like a broom and dust pan, swiffer, bucket and rag) and she LOVES following me around ‘cleaning’ too!
In betweens throw clothes in the washer , wash dishes as you cook or wash after she goes to bed we as mom’s never get enough sleep or finish our house work just go with the flow , enjoy her
You could always have your little help you with the tasks you need to get done. My son loves to do dishes and laundry. It’s one of his favorite parts of the day! He also absolutely loves to make dinner with me! So we get quality time and do house stuff. Hes 2.5 but we’ve been doing it together for about a year now.
4 kids total one of which is a 2 year old tornado mixed with wreck it ralph. I do what I can when I can. If it dont get done, then it dont get done. I end up “playing” more than I clean it is what it is. It wont last forever. Good luck.
Let her help. At that age they love to be helpful. Let her wipe the tables for starters. Or put some things in the garbage. Good luck
I have a 2yr old and 1ur oldy 2yr old is an absolute walking disaster lol. I clean my house during nap time and then again when she’s in bed. While she’s up I don’t bother other wise I’m just walking in circles forever picking shit up lol
Have her help you. If you’ve got to take out the trash give her a small Walmart bag with a few trash items in it to carry. If your cleaning he bathroom give her a rag with nothing but water on it. If your putting up dishes let her help you by passing you things so you can put it up. I have 4 kids and expecting my 5th. Sometimes the house is messy but they love to help esp at that age. It doesn’t seem like they are helping but they think they are
I baby wear sometimes to get my stuff done. My son is extremely clingy right now and he pulls my pants down until I pick him up so he enjoys being on my back for a little while and it gives him his fix so he’ll play independently for awhile after I take him off
Idk what my house looks like for the most part … being a single mom and working …i played with my kid first and slept 8 to 10 hours… i need my sleep to function. She slept with me… she went to sleep at 8 i followed not to long after .
My daughter is the same age. I have her “help” me dp things. Mainly she tries to just dust the floor lol. I take 30 minutes every day and clean up. Doesn’t have to be perfect, but it keeps things from looking like a wreck. I take 1 day a week and deep clean everything.
My husband and I lost our twin girl’s 1/27/19 due to a home invasion. I was pregnant with them and 5 week’s out from a scheduled c-section. They would have been our 3rd and 4th babie’s. We just had our 5th baby 6 week’s ago and I could care less about the house or anything else accept for my kid’s. I was obsessed before about keeping the perfect house and everything that came with it. You do you Mama and don’t let anyone tell you how to parent.
Just spent a half hour cleaning kitchen and doing dishes while my son played with noisy stuff on the floor (spoon, metal spatula, and a pot lid) .
Oh man. I feel you.
Honestly, with my 2.5 year boy and my 4 yo girl (when she’s visiting) I just have them help with the chores a little, simple things that they want to help with that won’t hurt them, age appropriate stuff.
We also have a play kitchen and kids play cleaning stuff so he can run around helping me or he can make the choice to do free play. So 1: he’s not in the way
2: he is picking up the idea of cleaning
3:he’s also playing and we can play pretend while I clean.
When my son first turned 2, I would take small breaks between each task. Take some time to hangout, do some dancing, go out for a walk, color a picture.
And sometimes I just didn’t do house work for a day (knock out all the important stuff the night before like dishes) I’d get the whole day uninterrupted with my son, a little extra sleep since I wasn’t tryi to get everything done, then the next day I would nail out chores.
I’d take that break at least once a week.
Your doing great! Honestly having a 2 year old while trying to keep the house together should really be an Olympic sport.
There is no balance lol but seriously they remember the time you spend, not if the clothes need folded or if the toys aren’t picked up. Let’s face it they make messes lol don’t deprive yourself of self care trying to worry about your messes. If it looks lived in, thats because it is. Dont overwhelm yourself with trivial things, you’re doing your best! We all are. My house is almost always a mess and the laundry is almost never folded, but my babies are loved and very well taken care of. Just take a breath mama, you can do this
I think it’s good for kids to see us do housework. It sets an example for them later.
I manage to clean up daily and even sweep and I mop once a week.
I just split time.
Wake up to nap time is quality time. After the nap, I do dinner and clean up before bed. My 2 year old will even help clean up (cause I’ve done it daily since he was a wee little guy)
I know it feels like you’re missing out on time but I swear that any amount of age appropriate independence is a must! Yeah my booger likes to hang out with mom, but hes just as happy to play by himself! He will push me away to go play
It’s also unrealistic for anyone to think they have to spend 24/7 with anyone else. We all have stuff we have to do and its important that kids learn young. They’ll never need anyone else to make them feel okay with themselves.
Yes as others have said my little one LOVES to help! She will sort laundry and carry her own basket to the laundry room, she stands on a stool and puts it in the washer, pours the cup of liquid I give her into it and likes to turn the knobs to turn it on. She will still in front of the dryer and hand me clothes to fold, she does dishes and plays in the water with me, she gets a paper towel and wipes tables down, she has her own broom and vacuum to help me clean the floors. She even pulled in her boots and helped me bring in the groceries tonight. She also loves to cook and I give her small little jobs of stirring or she will just stand there and eat while I chop ingredients. She can sort and organize toys and knows where they all go.
Just get her involved and make it a fun game!
Can you get a play kitchen for when you’re doing work in the kitchen? My kiddos live to cook and clean at th theirs while I’m doing the same. I also have a teen come over in the afternoons for a few hours to play with them so I can tackle things I wouldn’t be able to do otherwise. He’s a feebly member and I know he following covid protocols.
You don’t. Its kitchen every night and the rest when it looks like it definitely needs to be done. I wash clothes and they never get folded. Just separated into respective baskets.
On really good days does it look like my house didn’t sneeze.
I have a miracle child, she just celebrated 1 year old. So you are a little further on your journey in motherhood.
But I wanted to comment and say I feel this 100%.
I’ve been called overbearing, a prude, and plenty of other things. Because I have severe anxiety about doing anything wrong. She eats the best. We do every activity I come across. She wears the best. Has all the best toys. And I never leave her side.
I coddle her every move.
I’m also ocd to the max in the type of environment we live in. So between my clean freak tendencies and my constant need to be all over her, i havent found a greta balance yet.
When you find all the right answers you let me know girl. Butnfor now just know you are definitely not alone.
Shit I have a asshole 5 year old, a 8 month old, and just got a puppy and I’m questioning my own choices and sanity at this point. I have no idea
I’ve got 3, the biggest thing I’ve learned is the housework will always be there. Short of making sure dirty dishes, laundry, trash (really icky chores) the clutter, etc can wait. Now that my oldest can help with things, that has made a difference. She helps with her laundry. Her own dishes, cleans her own room, things she’s fully able to do. The 18 month old, helps with really small things like picking up toys.
I’ve got five, work and homeschool full time. I’ve always been extremely OCD about my home but as I’ve learned with each kid, you’ve just got to learn to let stuff go!! I’ll spend a weekend day deep cleaning, maybe your husband or someone can take her while you do?
Otherwise, just focus on the basics during the weekdays - dishes, trash, floors not covered in trash or food (basically any cleaning that would prevent attracting pests!) and do the rest on a designated day.
I rotate my deep cleaning on weekends too, last weekend was dusting bedroom furniture - so will never be too overwhelmed and will cycle through it all.
When I was a single mom of 2 with 2 jobs, I took one week day off each week, and the kids went to daycare. One week, I had worked extra shifts at job while my boss harvested his crops, and I used that day to sleep!
With certain things have her help! Make it fun! My younger two love helping with laundry (they get to turn on and start washer/dryer) and help fold even (sort of)
I have 9 kids. From the time they started walking they started doing small things i.e. throwing their diapers away and helping pick up their toys. My kids range from 14 to 2yrs old and each one has chores to help with. Im a sahm tho but have the responsibility of all dr appts, scheduling everything, housework, shopping, paying bills etc …
I make it fun and include my kids then they r not only learning but spending time and always within view
My little is 17 months and I clean as we go and let her help with whatever she can she’s into absolutely everything and figured out the child locks
On the cabinets.
So when I am cooking I either let her stand on a stool and help me or I take out maybe a few dishes or thing I won’t be using and I let her play.
I put a bin for easy clean up of her puzzles and we just got her a toy box. Dishes get done after we eat or right after she goes to bed.
Beds get made as soon as I get up even if she wakes me up she can wait a few minutes. While I get out of bed pee and get her cup ready. And on. Saturday’s or Sundays I go room by room and sweep and dust we have music on and have a little fancy dance party in each room n I just wait til she naps and take 20-30 min to mop
If I can’t go shopping alone I do pickups and I bring everything to the front porch with her and then I bring her in the back door and bring the grocery’s in the house. This way I don’t have to worry about her going down the stairs when I am not paying attention.
Laundry I do n let her hang in the laundry room n flip I put it all in a pile n fold at the end of the night n bring a basket up as full n she hands me clothes to put away.
Do it however is easiest for you momma their is no right or wrong way. Some days are better then others 2. But I just do my best to stay on top take advantage of naps n whatever else.
She can be helping to clean, give her easy chores like putting dirty clothes into a basket, you can even teach her to separate it while teaching colors. You can hand her things to put in the garbage can. You could even have her “wash” the lower cupboards while you are doing dishes. You can use her bat time to clean in the bathroom if you don’t use harsh smelling chemicals. While folding laundry you could teach her to pair up the socks. Make a game out of these things and she will love cleaning. Quality time is not just holding her and playing with her, it is teaching her how to do the things grown ups have to do. If you make a huge deal about what a big helper she is and how happy it makes you that she helps she will love it even more.
I deal with this constantly. My son had a brain bleed and ever since then I have anxiety about every single little thing that happens to him. It’s the worst feeling. If people haven’t experienced they truly don’t understand the feelings it brings. My next step is therapy probably. It’s been 2 years since it happened and I still am this way
Teacher her to help with chores my girls folded wash cloths helped with dishes be creative she will ty later good luck Mom you got this
Try to encourage your kids to help with simple house work. They think it’s fun and they are helping mom or dad. My son loves to help me put laundry in the washer and dryer and I let him pour in the detergent. And he likes to help clean the windows and sweeping lol
Do one room at a time thoroughly. General tidy up and sweep floors when Bub is in bed. Pick the lounge room and dust, vacuum and/or mop. Then tomorrow do your room or the kitchen or bathroom
When I my children were younger I had a 20-30 min limit on housework a day. Take a day where you get a sitter and do a huge overhaul in the house. After that it’s just maintaining. Laundry and folding can be done when they are in bed at night with a glass of vino and a movie. 20-30 min per day… don’t sweat the small stuff. Make a day each week for the bathroom on Tuesday mopping on Wednesday etc you’ll find this so much easier
I know that feeling. I baby proof and pick up whatever can cause him harm and contain him to the “safe” area and turn on his favorite show (cocomelon) and do a couple tasks. I also have a camera that I can watch on my phone while I’m doing dishes or whatever.
the dishes will be there, the vacumm will be there, the mess can always ne thrown in a “toy bin/box”, n all the “mess” can wait I’m preggo with my 3rd n these times don’t last if yr partner complains tell him to chip in but enjoy the time with yr little n worry less bout the cleaning she won’t remember the clean house shes gonna remember the time u spent with her there will ve plenty of time to clean when she goes to school/daycare/visit with whoever. i hate saying “your gonna miss these times cuz they go by so fast” but it is so so true
Momma of 3 here- tbh I’ve mastered the art of quickcleanups as im doing stuff really fast- then sometimes things just don’t get done.
One or 2 days are dedicated to a very deep clean. Thing are always sanitized with the quick cleans- Clorox wipes, magic erasers bleach vinegar and empty spraybottles are your friend !
keep them spread out where you need em. I keep bleach cleaner in one, vinegar allover cleaner for dusting up on top book shelf behind a frame with that wks rag and Windex both split in bathrm and kitchen. when I shower …lol lol lol your prolly gonna laugh- at end of shower while I’m there I spray my bleach then magic eraser the walls n floor … Do w curtain cracked open shower head low as can go and be sure you mix bleach w water…its strong.
Now that my kids are older they each have daily job to keep privileges too.
You can do most of the housework when you are near her or when she’s watching her favourite show that’s when you clean your bathroom but check on her every couple minutes. Hang the washing out and bring it in simple take her with you. There’s no reason why you can’t do your housework with her there
Totally normal mt little one is 2 ,I had her at age 39 …she was born so small but quickly catch up …am the same way…I don’t get anxiety for small stuff but am constantly making sure she’s ok …cause anything can happen in an instant . Better safe …
Your sleep is much more important than house work! I always included my daughter in my cleaning! Give her a duster and she will be happy while you do a few things. Put a load of laundry in before you start supper, while she is in her high chair, change it to the dryer, etc. I can think of a few things but again, sleep is necessary or you won’t be able to function well.
I kinda think your best chance at getting over the fear is facing it. Getting hurt is part of childhood and often hurts moms more to see than the kids actually feel. Experience with space will be good for both of you. Try just moving farther for a chore every day. You’ll shortly see that kids are built tough and that its okay to let little ones have some semi alone experience. By staying so close at all times you run a risk of baby developing a dependency/separation issue. They need to learn that you will come back.
It’s normal especially 4 1st time parents and parents of rainbow babies. She will be ur everything and few will understand y u are that way. However what i do with my 5 yr old and started this around age 3, she helps me fold laundry, hands me dishes 2 wash, feeds dogs and cleans her own room in ur case she could help u clean her room. She holds the dust pan when I sweep and hands me swifter pads when I mop.
Have them “help” with chores. When I do dishes my almost 2 year old splashes the sink water. When I cook, he plays with fridge magnets. When I vaccume, he fake vaccums with a vaccume toy…and so on… it takes a little longer, but tht way their learning sort of, and u know they arnt trying to sky dive off the bed.
If you can do an hour before she wakes in the morning and an hour after shes gone to bed. This will reduce your stress during the day.
Can you go to therapy or maybe trial medications (if you haven’t) for anxiety? If you have the means to do a meal delivery service, house cleaner maybe trial that?
Hire a babysitter while you’re still in the house?
A chore list so you don’t let things pile up and you do one thing a day?
2 is a hard age.
I have 2 under 2. It took me awhile to get a routine down but keep trying to establish one it’s worth it! Try and keep reminding yourself your house doesn’t need to be museum clean. Stop telling yourself you need to do more and relax. You have a kid, your house will never fully be clean again spend time with that baby because time flies!!
I have learned that things can wait… House may be a mess more than not but the kid is happy and the family is happy 🤷🤷:heart: you got this momma
Let her help.
Buy a toy vacuum for her to help while you vacuum. My son loves this.
You could always try a baby carrier (I know she’s two but ) I get up at 5am with her and start my day and just go to bed early (9 or 10) I do a load of laundry EVERY morning unload the doshwSher if I’m lucky. When I get home from work it’s homework (for my oldest) and feeding time for the baby. We eat dinner (crockpot!) and bath time, everyone in bed by 8 and then I clean up and get everything ready for the next day
I also have been a single mom, now remarried with an 8yo(previous) and a 6mo working full time. Your house will just have to be cluttered dude. Clean is different than cluttered.
You need to get a therapist and work out your issues with this. It isn’t healthy for you or her. Don’t put your irrational fears on her.
I understand the fear when out in public but within your own home you need to be comfortable with a little space. Its good, no necessary, for both of you! Your Daughter needs to have some independent free play too-it helps with imagination, confidence building and problem solving. Maybe start by setting her up with a particular toy (play doh, kitchen, coloring, whatever) and step back for a few and just watch!
You have a hard time with one??? Wow…
I find it more easier if u let wains help out with housework chores like moving furniture let the wains help thinking she pushing a couch or something n helping with dishes providing she has her sleeves up and Ave got the knives out the way of the wains as I have a disabled 4 nearly 5 year old and a nearly 1 year old so it takes time to get used to it but u can do it and sometimes when there in bed if I can’t sleep a go down n do dishes or wait until morning when oldest is awake n she helps me after breakfast and when it’s time to make dinner they stay in living room n play wae there toys out the way of kitchen so they dnt go near cooker n when a tidy up upstairs like clothes n bed making ma oldest helps but tries her best obv a go over it n make sure it’s done properly after she’s away with her toys etc xxx
My child loves the cleanup song and really enjoys helping change the laundry from the washer to the dryer, help take out the trash, and pick up toys. You could also get out a high chair or a play pen to put near you while you get other chores done that have a healthy snack and an activity or toy for them to do (coloring or playdoh). Rest is important so dont let chores cut into it too much if possible. Over-protectiveness is a hurdle many of us have to overcome. It’s okay to be over-protective, do as your comfortable and do your best to develop their growth. More sleep will certainly help with the anxiety. I hope this helps. Good luck!
Easy for me im up everyday at 430 and start my day get laundry going and house work done the 4 and 9 yr old gets themselves up by alarm clock by choice for school my youngest sleeps in til 9 sometimes 10 by time she wakes up im already done with everything even if she wakes up she’ll play while i clean when they was babies they id carry em or put them in their swing or whatever i was using for them. Dinner at 5 everyday and baths at 730 kids asleep by 9. Got to get a routine going and stick to it
Clean while she’s napping or after she goes to bed at night. I get cleaning done also when my kids visit relatives like my mom and mother in law. I have three kids and I’m a full time grad student. I had to literally start scheduling time to clean my house. I know you don’t want to be away from her but you also need to take care of you. You can’t pour from and empty cup. Self care is important for you as a mother.
You can try taking her into whatever room you’re trying to clean put her in the highchair while you clean up the kitchen. Or start dinner. When you’re doing laundry let her help by folding wash cloths. Kids need to learn to entertain themselves. I’m not saying be out of eyesight or unable to hear what’s going on with her. Could you babyproof her room, and put a baby gate across it so that you can get things done and know that she safely in there?
Not crazy! No parent likes seeing their child hurt. If you need to clean up, and are afraid of her being out of your sight, 2 year olds are often very helpful if you show them how. My 2 year old loves to help switch laundry from the washer to the dryer and wash dishes. If you make it a game, it becomes something they want to do. And 2 is an age of independence, you may find her fighting you to let her clean it herself. Seek some therapy for anxiety and learn some ways to deal with it. Parenting is hard enough without the constant anxiety making you second guess your decisions. Hugs.
So theres a couple of things. 1) do t worrie so much about the house work. It can and will wait. The time with your child right now goes so fast. Before you know it they are off at school and then with friends and then gone off to collage or work. 2) try cleaning while your child is takeing its nap. My youngest is 2 year old and sleeps for about a 2 hour nap and thats when I get the most housework done. 3) if there is someone around ask for help. It sosnt mean you cant do it just that maybe you need a little help sometimes. And lastly, get your child involved with cleaning! Once a week we turn on the music and the 2 kids and I clean the house. My 2 year old “helps” fold laundry, dust shelves and tables and sweep the floor.
Mess stresses me out BUT our kids are only little once. And you can’t go on so little sleep or you’re going to have a breakdown or crash. Thankfully I have a partner who comes home from long days at work at helps me do what needs to be done. Whether that’s dinner or cleaning the kitchen or whatever else.
Also, maybe talk to your doctor or talk to a therapist and get those issues resolved?
Maybe try making a list and also try to find a good therapist to talk to ask you can control your anxiety. If you keep letting it go unchecked its going to get worst
Definitely suggest a therapist so you can work through that anxiety. I had terrible anxiety with my first and to be honest the only thing that stopped it was the realization that I didn’t have control. Somethings gotta give. You have to take care of YOU so you can take care of your child. I set one day a week to clean and the rest of the time I just tidy, but that’s all. If I can, I have my kids go with my husband to his moms so I can focus. If you have any kind of support system ask for help.
Keep her with you when you clean and give her the allusion that she is cleaning too.
Having a messy house drives my anxiety up the wall so I’ve found ways that my kids can help and that I can watch them and get things done yes it’ll be more time consuming doing it with them but it’ll help set healthy habits and keep them entertained for a two year old you could do simple things
Include her in the things you’re doing. I also have a two year old,
Boy. I know this isn’t ALWAYS a solution, I’m a realist, but MOST of the time they just want to be near you doing what you’re doing anyway. Hope this helps. Good luck mama! You’re doing a great job!!
I have four kids and one on the way. Two oldest are special needs ages 6 and soon to be 8. I get up at 6:15am and get them ready and off on the bus anywhere between 6:53/7am. My 11 month old sleeps in until about noon or so and so does my two year old on their own which means I get to as well. I get up about 12-1 depending on when two youngest are awake and get them changed and fed. 2 yr old is happy to wonder around and play by herself and 11 month old cruises in her walker. I grab a bite to eat and then start doing small things around the house. By 2:15/220 oldest two come home. They have free time to do whatever while I clean up some more. Usually take this time to run dishwasher, laundry and check school folders. By 4 im doing dinner, after that its school work for oldest, the 6 yr old never has school work. Then it’s showers and baths. By 7:30 the 2 yr old is laid down for bed, and I get the oldest two ready for their 8 bed time. Through out the day the 11 month old cat naps. Then I’m finishing up chores around the house, eating dinner myself and grabbing my own shower. Fiance is home around 3:30am and im usually relaxing until he comes in and bout 1-2hrs later before I have to be up with the kids I go to bed. Its extremely easy with just one kid and once you make a schedule the rest just kinda falls in place
My three year old chores are putting laundry in the basket, unloading the dishwasher, and sweeping. They can definitely help while you clean!
But yeah, you definitely have some out of control anxiety that’s taking over. Please talk to someone.
Girl, take a breath. Your daughter needs some alone time too or she’s going to need someone with her 24/7 when she’s older too. Get some books, magnetic letters, and puzzles & let her play in her room by herself for a while. Have her help you clean up, sort and fold laundry, and sweep. She’s not too young to start doing this. Take a nap together, then get up and have her start helping make sandwiches for lunch.
I feel this! i’m a single mom, work full time & go to grad school full time. we have a pretty decent schedule & my little one goes to sleep, then I get stuff ready for the next day. all cleaning & laundry gets done on the weekend! you got this mama!!!
I used to do my housework when my daughter took a nap. I would also do it weekly on the same day. Now that my daughter doesnt nap she will help with some of the housework. Like dusting, wiping the counter down. When I have to start mopping the floors she will play on her leap frog tablet or watch tv. Shes going to be 3 in a couple weeks. Shes good about staying off the wet floor now. Let her help you. It’s ok to do things and not pay attention to them 100% of the time.
First thing I want to say to you mama is SAME! My 2yo is non stop, and it’s a struggle to get anything done. One thing that has helped is that my husband always does the dishes, and I always do the laundry. For us, that makes sure that regular cleaning tasks are getting done. For the rest, I find ways my son can “help”. I give him a spray bottle of water and a rag while I clean a room, he has a small broom he uses when I sweep, I have a small laundry basket of clothes he’s grown out of for him to “fold” with me, etc. Try designating at least one daily or weekly task to your partner, and maybe find ways to let your child “help” with housework. Good luck mama
As much as you want to protect her 24/7 please also learn to teach her independence and to play by herself. Set up baby cams if that’ll ease your mind some and definitely teach her how to do things independently. I understand your reason for being overprotective- you’ve been through a lot and this is your miracle baby. But also, seek some professional help to help you ease your anxiety. Kids pick up on everything. Don’t let your anxiety rub off on your precious baby. As for the housework, I always did it at bedtime when everyone was asleep. When baby napped, I napped. It’s the only way I maintained my sanity
I think you may have some postpartum that’s manifesting as severe anxiety. I would talk to your doctor about that.
I have 6 kids and it’s essential to let them play independently. It’s okay to leave the room for a few minutes. Change out the laundry, pee alone.
I’ll tell you, she’s gonna trip and fall. That’s part of learning and growing. Get her some activities she can do on her own. It would also be beneficial if you had a friend that you’d feel safe doing play dates with. It would be good for you both.
Single mama here to a special needs amazing boy I work full-time fighting the covid fight I ensure he gets quality time with momma even if it’s acting super silly just for some much needed giggles . Include her in some things like make a game out of chores even a simple task like helping measure ingredients for a supper but also you mama need your time as that’s important too having her occupy herself for a while so u can step back and have a cup of coffee or just to take a deep breath . Remember not everything has to be crammed in a day so sitting with her and make a tent and camp out watching some movies in pjs is ok too . Much love momma u got this!!
Sounds like you need to get help with your anxiety. Also do u have a partner? Sounds like u wpuld benefit from some type of time for u too… yoga, meditation, massage.
When mine was young the house work was done on weekends and no where near perfect. Now that I only have one middle schooler at home it still isn’t because housework is less important than work and my school and kid school. The laundry gets done. The dishes get done. But dusting is rare. I enjoy me time. And if my hubby can’t do it it must not be that important to him. . Or me. Also teach them to help young. My daughter did her own laundry by 8. And when she’s home from college she helps a ton!
Consider therapy! Find a way to enjoy motherhood and working and housekeeping. You’re not failing at any of these, and it’s not fair to put that on yourself. If you can work out the issues that make you feel so stressed, you’ll be able to enjoy everything more, and be in the moment!
Also, like others mentioned, give her small tasks to do so she can “clean” with you.
It sounds like you’re doing an amazing job, mama. Don’t give up!
Both of you need space from each other, your young one just can’t/won’t express that much to you. Kids need to learn to be somewhat independent anyways or they will follow you to every bathroom break, etc.
Spend time with her doin the day have lunch with her do some clean up time take a nap at the same time get up at the same time let her watch TV or play games or help in the kitchen eat dinner together and take a bath put her down for bed and you have a little me time and you are off to bed
Give her a job and instill the importance of pitching in around the house. Putting her things away etc.
Like so many others have said, if its a chore she can’t do, give her a job so she feels part of the moment.
Set strict guidelines for yourself on workload. Stop at a certain time etc. Set a bedtime for yourself. Self care is just as important as caring for your child. And, I hate this answer but its true, sometimes house chores can wait. Read the book. Color the page. Do the games and snuggle time. There will always be laundry, dishes, and dusting- its never over. But those moments with your little will fade away.
Its temporary mama, hang in there and enjoy the ride.
As for the anxiety, I think every mom feels that way. Its learning to stay calm and assess the damage that takes practice. She will fall, fail, bleed, bruise, and scrape but those things teach her lessons, its part of being a kid.
U have anxiety issues mama,maybe u shud see sum1 abt dat…2 years olds are super energetic exploras and a bit on the independent side,and dat comes with a few falls and scratches here and there…so letting go a bit and knowing that’s its a part of growing will surely help…I have sleep trained my 2 year old and sleeps thru the night,and found out dat if I sleep wen she sleeps I get enough sleep to wake up 2 hours early to finish some house chores and have ample time together during the day
During the week, we do bare bones cleaning (kitchen, sweeping, vacuum, Toy cleanup). Everything else waits until hubby is home for the weekend and can either help by watching the kids are tackle the cleaning.
We can’t do everything- and memories are more important than a prestine home.
Don’t lose sleep over it momma
(6 kids in this house - 2, 5, 6, 7, 11, 12)
Do it with her I taught my daughter to pick up her thing as soon as she could or do it while she’s in the bath also let her watch you cook it’ll help her learn as well even at 2
Yep, have her rinse, wash and/or dry unbreakables like plastic cups, plates, silverware, or show her where to put stuff in the dishwasher, help push the vacuum, dust low tables, fold pillowcases, towels and washcloths, match socks, load the washer or dryer, push buttons on everything. Check out FlavCity videos with a dad & his tot cooking together for ideas. She can toss things in the trash can or laundry basket, wipe down surfaces, put things on low shelves or closet floors. Have easy to clean up bins to toss everything in & sing the Barney clean up song as you both collect toys and such off the floor.
Play music and dance while you tidy & make it more fun.
And relax your standards. No one with kids has a pristine house. We all have places that look ransacked until the kids move out. Get psychiatric help if you can’t let go of perfectionism and overprotectiveness. Housework can wait; enjoy your little one.
Have her help, like give her the mop and let her have a ball with that while you load the dish washer, or while your dusting, let her push the vacuum!! You will be surprised how much that will occupy her, while you get the other things done!! Kids love to help, most anyway!! Good luck
Sounds like you need to speak to a doctor about your anxiety.
I would do a high chair with snacks as I cleaned the kitchen. Did laundry during naptime. Straighten up a bit, watch tv and relax after they went to bed.
Have her help you , get her a little vacuum, broom and mop set, put her up with you doing the dishes , let’s her wash the plastics , carry some laundry ? Get her involved if she,ll let you . Or buy a baby gate and keep her in play area , where you can see , or high chair while cleaning kitchen ?? But also need to relax litte as long as your home is safe she should be fine to explore
I understand that- my son is 2 and I would have him in the living room where I could see him while I was in the kitchen. He would play independently for a bit while I cleaned (or put food in the crockpot, that’s a great time saver). It’s ok to let the housework wait, I like a clean house tho so I get it. But independent play time is good for them too
I was the same way. It does get better. Hang in there❤ you got this😊
i work mondays, tuesdays, thursdays and fridays from 7.30am-5pm. I have Wednesdays and weekends with the kids, and that has been my best way to have a balance, and working from home has enabled me the closest thing to alone-housework time. On my workdays, i put the laundry in before i start work, and switch it to dryer at breaktime, and sort the laundry waiting to be put away, return to working (i have 15 minute break in first half of workday and second half of workday, and 30 minute lunch break). I do dishwasher during breaks too, and whenever i go to the kitchen to grab a glass of water, i unload 5 items from the dishwasher to make the task smaller (i make sure to be swift i.e. it’ll be the same category such as glasses or bowls or plates).
I mealplan at the weekend as my kids are fussy and my husband and i need to be healthier. I keep simple tupperware foods in the fridge or canned spaghetti with meatballs etc for easy nights, or chicken nuggets or hot dogs in the freezer, for those days when i’m too tired to try to talk my 5 year old into eating normal food (he still has a decent variety, and there are always fruits and vegetables in his diet not just processed foods.) Slow cooker doesn’t really work for the kids as 5 year old hates his food being mixed up with anything else.
It isn’t perfect. It isn’t easy. Some days I have to say ‘i’m not going to get everything, and they will cope, otherwise they should have helped more and so have no right to complain’.
Do the chores together. Two year olds can come in pretty handy. And they’re quick learners. Even though it may take longer than usual, you’re still spending that quality time together