How do you comfort a child who misses their dad?

How do you comfort a child when they miss their dad?I feel like all I can do is be there for them and love them. But nothing I do will fix the situation.

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How do you comfort a child who misses their dad?

I hope my mom didn’t ask this.

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Pillow with Dad’s picture on it.

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im dealing with this right now, my husband was my sons everything , he is so angry right now he blames God and now denies God existence because as he said a loving God would not have let him die of cancer, my son was 13 when my husband died , if anyone has a magic answer please tell me , my son is so lost and wont listen to me :frowning:

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I feel like it would depend on the situation. Did dad pass away? Is dad a service member and deployed? Is dad just a POS that comes and goes as he pleases? Is dad out of town for work? Is dad in jail?

There are so many different things that you could do to help the kiddo. I definitely think loving them and be there for them, allowing them to vent or offer a shoulder to cry on, do things to help them get their mind off things might be able to help

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I know exactly how this is. That’s all you need to do mama :heart: just love them and show out for them, show them that you will always be there. One day when they’re older, they learn the story and then they see just who was there all along and who really loves and cares about them.

I think you are very brave for asking this question because as parents we are expected to have all the answers and sometimes we just Don’t which is ok! My son lost his dad when he was 7 he was very angry very sad I got him into writing therapy where he could write anything down on paper as I found when my dad was killed at 13 it was good to get it out my head also therapy helps sadly anger ness resentment are parts of the grief cycle

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Depends on the situation. Is dad able to be there and just chooses not to or can he not be there.

Honestly as someone who hasnt got a dad (he chose not to be in my life)

Just support them, hold open conversations with them, dont dismiss their feelings.
Engage them (if they want to do so) in activities that remember their father and go to creative therapy or animal therapy to help with a positive outlet for their feelings. I found traditional therapy can be a bit scary at a young age

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There’s nothing you can do but be there for your child and let them know you are there. These are questions you can answer and a pain you can take away. I’ve been through this

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I just giv mine lots of loves and tell them dad loves you lots.

There’s some missing context here. Is dad gone for work? Military? Involved but long distance? Not involved at all?

Idk. It’s hard to give advice without knowing the whole situation. Speaking on MY situation, sometimes my little one will tell me that she misses her dad and I tell her that I get it but that she’ll see him in a couple days and then we go over her schedule, you’ll spend X amount of time with me, then X amount of time with your dad.

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Well since u didn’t explain the situation the only advice I can give u is what I’ve been through
When dad left to go get his dick wet which was more then once
even though I was pissed at him I would let my kids call him FaceTime and even see him it was up to dad to answer their calls and come see them when he promised now it was on my terms which was he could see them at my house he wanted to take them somewhere I was to go until I trusted him to do it alone
Be prepared if he Dosent answer their calls or come see them when he promises cuZ it will break their lil hearts

Positive reinforcement 100%

How old? When my bfs daughter(10) missed her dad(tree faller) I would spray his cologne either on her pillow or his pillow & she’d fall asleep no prob!

Get the child into grief counseling. It will help no matter the reason for the absence of the father. Also let your child know that their feelings are valid and that they are allowed feel the way they do. Also don’t hesitate to talk about their father. Especially if dad passed away. Let the child remember their parent, talk about the good memories.

My daughters dad was a terrible one , He was absent for the majority of her life, I never said anything bad about him not being more present in her life , I always made excuses for his absence ( like he lived very far etc ) I always tell her stories when she was little and how he played with her, she loved him very very much, he passed away when she was like 8-9 my daughter is disabled and she is very innocent, I always send her cards and gifts for special occasions ( birthdays , Christmas, Valentine’s Day ) pretending that the presents are from him ( he send them from heaven :blush:) those presents are like treasures for her and seeing her reaction when she got them is priceless, she gets very excited and happy :blush:

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Hold them, love on them, and let them know that everything will be ok. :heart::muscle:

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To much context missing to advise accurately

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Not easy. Best sit down go on Google n search on group 4 dealing with death, separation, children, financial situation. Sometimes children are stronger then we think. If u on medical aid, contact a councillor. If u working some companies pay 4trauma counseling.

My daughter crys every night for her daddy who passed away. I put on her ‘Jesus music’ as she calls it, and I just hold her and comfort her and tell her it’s ok to get it out. It’s tough. We all have to go through our own griefs , and to not be able to protect your child from that is a helpless and horrible feeling.

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Let them call their dad?
Get the teddy bear that records a voice a s have their dad record a special messege for when they miss them.
AGE of the child helps too.
Where IS the dad?
Could be that they like extra attention as well so maybe try giving them extra cuddles just because and see if that helps as well. I’m NOT saying the kiddo DOESNT miss their father it’s just as certain ages they don’t always know how to ask for what they want and they got what they wanted and needed when they say certain things. Could be a combo of things.
Maybe help them write their daddy a letter. It will be step one to journaling :grin::grin:
Either way … we don’t know WHY they miss them… have they passed on? Is there a split in a relationship? Did they move? Are they just at work? :woman_shrugging::woman_shrugging:

Is dad not there because he doesn’t want to be? Because he is working away? Because the judge said he couldn’t be? Because he passed away? While the child is still feeling abandon and not knowing why dad isn’t there we/I really don’t know how to help send you the right way.

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At a very minimum, do not trash talk, put down, or gossip about the other parent. Validate your child’s feelings: “I know you miss dad, that’s understandable. Would you like to talk about how this makes you feel?” And then genuinely listen. Give them reassurance that you are there for them and that you love them.

It’s hard to console a child, especially if you have any kind of animosity against the other parent but as parents we can do hard things. Good luck mama, sending you extra love and strength to do the right thing. :heartpulse:

Its sad isn’t it. I have one that hasn’t seen hers in 3

Depends on the situation. If he’s alive then the missing him will eventually turn into dislike… I struggle with my 11 year old to visit her dad. I bribe her and everything but she’ll only go with someone else so she doesn’t have to talk with him the whole time.
My 13 year old lost her dad and counselling really helped and we talk about him everyday to keep his memory alive.
Extra love and support for both situations… both are just as hard!

It was hard. When she started school and everybody has daddies except her. She’s never had him in her life and bc of that, it was easier to deal with. She’s older now and understands, but I know deep down, she wishes it worked out. Time… That’s all it takes.

This is hard. We lost daddy last year and this heartache is unfathomable.

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Maybe they can have a Dad day once a week! I know life is busy and hard with work and such. But we gotta make time for the important stuff. They are only little for so long! Only under our roof for 18 years

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Love him… Do you have male family members who can step in and do some fun stuff with him? If his dad doesn’t want to be in the picture, does he have family who would love to be to give him a connection to that side of his family? All you can really do is fill his life with love and security.

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Did daddy pass away? I lost my Dad at age 11. Twenty days after our shared birthday. He was 43. We were very close. Wrapped around each other’s little fingers. My adoptive mother lost her mind when he died. Very dramatic. Demanding attention constantly. When we came home after his passing, her parents, my grandparents were there. She ran into her bedroom crying, Grandpa right behind her. Grandma told me I had to be strong for my mother, she was taking my Daddy’s death very hard. Then she went into the bedroom too and shut the door, leaving me standing alone in the middle of the kitchen floor. I put my play coat on and went out to the little barn where my pony was. The dog followed and the cats were there. I went in the pony’s stall and hugged her neck. She put her head on my shoulder, hugging me back. I got on my knees and got a hug from the dog. Then I broke open a bale of straw under the pony’s feed bin and fed the pony. I got an old blanket and made a nest in the straw and climbed in with the dog. The cats climbed in wherever there was room and cuddled with us. The pony would put her head down and sniff us from time to time. I couldn’t cry. I was pretty much told not to. My comfort came from the animals. I sure didn’t get it from the humans. The animals knew what to do. Contact. Hugging. Cuddling. Occasional kisses. Their smell was comforting. The smell of the hay and straw was soothing. Familiar. My grandmother called to me sometime later to ask if I wanted a peanut butter sandwich. I told her no thank you. She said ok and went back inside. I stayed with the animals till almost dark. Then I went inside and went straight to bed. I didn’t want to see anyone or hear from anyone or have anyone touch me. All I wanted was to be left alone. The next morning I went out to my animals again. That was the only place I felt wanted and loved. I got hugs and kisses and love. Unconditional love. I so appreciate that you pay attention to your child and show love and empathy. It’s so important. You may not be able to fix the situation, but you can make your child feel supported and loved. That’s worth a lot.

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It is hard and there is nothing else you can do. Just be there for them.

Just be their for him whatever happened let him know it’s all good not every boy needs dad a mom can do it too my mom did for years.

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Did their father die or just not in the picture. Each one is handled differently.
If he died tell her he still loves her and is watching over her. Put a picture of him beside her bed

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This needs more clarification. Are the kids missing dad because he passed or are they missing him because he walked out on them?

If he’s passed, you share memories with them as often as possible and remind them every chance you can that he loved them.

If he walked out and just has nothing to do with them, you make excuses for him and redirect them. This is what I did with my daughter when she was 2 and her biological father and I divorced and he disappeared on her. She would ask for him, I would tell her he was at work or sick and I never bad mouthed him to her. As she got older, she learned on her own that he was just a POS.

In either situation, you be the best mom that you can be and make sure those kids know that you’ll always be there and they can always depend on you.

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That’s all you can do. My son lost his father seven years ago, and there is absolutely nothing I can do to ease his pain. It’s the worst feeling in the world, you just have to hug them a little tighter and let them know mama is here.

maybe one of dads tshirts could help some so they can sleep in it

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