Those people are shitty.
Enough is enough go with your gut get rid of them there no addition to anyone if it walks like a duck its a duck
your partner n his family suck assâ:rofl:
no child should be treated different bio or not they should be treated equally.just my opinionâ:woman_shrugging:
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Yep. If youâve brought it up with them and your significant other and their behavior hasnât changed then you leave.
My mum spends the same amount of money for birthdays and Christmas on my step son as she does all her biological grandkids⊠each child got £40 spent on them this Christmas (theres 9 of them including my step son)
i treat my stepson the exact same as i treat my son theres no favouritism in our family that way no child feels inferior x
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Inclusiveness and equality shouldâve been paramount from day one⊠cut your losses. Always choose your babies first
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Itâs painful when this stuff happens and your children are young and donât understand (speaking from similar experience) but I could only imagine it being even more painful as they get older and can see this unfairness for themselves. As far as Iâm concerned kids should be treated equally 
. Biological or not- no one is better than the other.
Example: We shop for both mine and my partners side for nephews and nieces but the amount spent per kid is the same. Iâm very much the same when it comes to shopping for our children. Can change depending on certain circumstances at the time but we try our best to be fair.
If it was me 
Iâd be cutting ties. Simple.
if there is more good than bad, try to work it out. If you leave, the chances of you finding someone to love your kids equally as theirs are not that great unless you plan on staying alone until they are grown. I AM NOT SAYING IT WONT HAPPEN. But letâs be realistic here. Iâd love to say leave but what other dynamics are at play? Does your bonus daughter live with you guys? Or does she visit every other weekend? If your SO does not live with his daughter, he will be more linient towards her? He might feel resentment toward your kidâs because he sees them everyday and not his child? As far as in laws go they are showing you where they stand. I would separate the two as that you cannot force not control what they do. Iâd back off on my gift giving expenses. You are valid in your feelings and Iâm sure it hurts. If your SO is not vining with your kids after 5 years then itâs time to go.
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Absolutely leave. If its hurting you, then it definitely hurts your daughter. Kids see and feel these things. We went through something similar before my husband and I got married and I told him no more. My 2 kids lost their father 7 years ago and my current husband and I were together when it happened. He vowed to love them and be a dad to them. But it was still hard for him to not baby his own kids and let them get away with EVERYTHING. I knew it was hurting my kids. So I told him it was over if it canât change. Now almost 8 years later things are so much better and my kids are his kids too. You have to speak up or it will never change. If he doesnât see a problem, leave.
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Nope. Time to leave. 5 years is a long time to deal with that and I wouldnât put my own children through it another second. Of course, thereâs the question about if this has been brought to your SOâs attention prior? But yeah. Ultimatum time in my opinion. All kids should be treated fair. Family is family, no favorites.
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Start with communication between you and your SO, not in front of the kids, and definitely express that you are seeing him actively showing favoritism towards his biological child. Let him know that you understand that he loves her and you get that, but to the other children it is extremely unfair that they will get chastised for something small and his daughter doesnât get the same treatment for the same behavior and remind him that that sets a poor example for all of the children and if you are all supposed to be a family, then that means that all of the children have to be treated equally, even if it is uncomfortable for him to do so. Children require a united front from their parents to effectively be a team to feel like their family unit is secure and safe.
As for the extended family, you can communicate with them and set some healthy boundaries as far as equal treatment and gift giving, that if theyâre going to be petty and only gift something like socks to non biological children and save the best presents only for the biological grandchild, that that shows favoritism and sets a poor example for the children and if they canât treat them all equally then you donât intend to return for future family functions with the kids until these boundaries can be respected.
Yes, this will be hard and will most likely cause some tension between both you and your SO, and you and your SOâs family, but it needs to be said and needs to be said and done and handled. Youâve been tolerating this situation for 5 years now, and that is beyond too long. Your priority is to protect and care for your children who are being snubbed by your SOâs family simply because they are not blood-related, and your SO is doing it as well because he feels for some reason that his biological child is somehow more important than yours.
Try the communication route first, if it doesnât work, then ask your SO if he feels that a separation would be better for you both so he can have some time to sort out his relationship priorities.
See what he says to this suggestion and what his family responds with as well and no matter what or how they choose to respond, you do your best to stay calm and level headed for your kids so they see their mom setting a good example of how to respond when under pressure in a difficult situation.
Good luck momma, youâve got this.
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Kick him to the curb
Firstly he is not just being unfair he is being divisive. His daughter will learn her bad behaviour to your children is ok. His parents already treat them with no respect. Are your second class? Do you not have feelings? I can only tell you from my experience you need to leave, you are obviously a much nicer person than him and his family. You are good enough to look after him for 5 years but not good enough to achieve equality in his family. Dont waste your life sweetie you are only here once.
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Yeah. You need to leave like yesterday girl. It will only get worse and so will the resentment.
Hell no all children in marriages of hubby or wife shld get same treatment why shld grdparents treat different as well âŠNOT FAIR!! IF GTANDPARENTS OR RELATIVES DO DA SAME DNT DO IT IN FRONT OF OTHER KIDS THATS VERY ILL FEELING THAT U DNT LOVE EM!!!
Leave! Youâve answered your own question really already and you know itâs time to leave! The fact that a grown ass man yells at your child because sheâs winning in a game is a big no no and that alone would of clenched the deal for me
Get out now, my kids always come first no matter what. I expect them all to be treated the same and if they arenât then I wouldnât want those people involved in their lives.
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So easy to say leave, but you need money and an income. And be prepared for his reaction when you tell him you are going Do you have furniture and a bond for another place? And what about pets?
You need to worry about you and yours right now. Let him deal with his kid and parents.
Thats a load of crap my daughter by my. First marriage was adapted by my secong husband and she was treated like his own by his family and relatives during birtdays and holidays.love is love
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Your own kids come first. They were there before he was.
Personally I would of called it out in front of all the adults at Christmas. Or just refuse to go over there for Christmas. As for him treating your children different I have no advice. I can say I had a blended family and was treated differently than my mom and step dads kids they had together and his own children. It was shitty and made me have issues for a long ass time. In all reality if you had a way to leave I would suggest that over anything.
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Girl you already know the answer. Make a plan. Save some money and get you and your kiddos in a positive environment. Positive vibes coming to ya. Good luck and always listen to your gut feelings.
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Your S.O. knew you were a package deal. I would not put up with someone not treating my children differently. Your S.O. should say something to his parents, and you should let him know it wonât bet tolerated
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This actually makes me sad. No one knows how this feels until you go through it yourself and believe me it donât change. If itâs the grandparents or the partner it gets worse and you will be the one that suffers for it.
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I would never put up with anyone treating my son like that. Im a firm believer if you make the commitment to someone with a child from a previous relationship, that child should be treated and loved like your own. Im very sorry you are going thru this and your children have to be exposed to that type of environment.
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As for the grandparents, I say fuck them! They would never see my kids again. And for your significant other treating your kids bad, in my opinion itâs selfish that youâre staying in this relationship. Kids should be priority and these things can have an affect forever. 
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I am very sorry you are going through this. I have stepchildren and their children and they all get equal amounts of gifts and they all have to cost the same and and each gift says from grandma and grandpa. We even have children that where my husbandâs ex girlfriendâs children that we consider ours that we talk to all the time and we do the same for. So even though i birthed 4 children i have 6 children and 10 grandchildren and still not done because our children are not done having kids. But if it where me I would say something and if they can not change or see what they are doing is wrong then maybe tell them not to gift any at all.
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They should never ever be treated differently but it happens all the time ! You have got to let them know how much it hurts you and your children!
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Carrie, I can tell you from personal experience it will not get better. My biological fatherâs wife never treated my sister or me the same as her children. She carried this over to the grandchildren. Even when her family tried to treat us the same, she would derail their efforts. My step-fatherâs family always treated us the same. They were as much our grand parents as our biological grandparents. Do you want to be part of a family that doesnât accept your children?
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So⊠mine are 12, 13, and 18⊠his are 10 and 12. His mom raises his son but his 10 year old daughter lives with us, and has called me mom since she was 2. Eight long years I have been in the same shoes as you are right now. It isnât getting any better. In fact its only gotten worse as she gets older. Causes lots of friction in my home. I have no advice⊠but just wanted to say I FEEL YOUR PAIN 
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I am not a parent however Iâm a child of this type of behavior. Children notice and it effects them, even into adulthood. As an adult I still donât understand why my mother allowed that kind of treatment to us kids. Her response has always been âI did what had to be doneâ. Kids know and will remember.
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I would leave i couldnt watch my babys be disrespected like that you should treat other children just as you would ur own
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Dont be scared say something to them. Tell your s/o that if its going to work out he needs to treat your child like his and tell the grandparents to. If that dont work find you someone that will claim her. It dont make sense why ppl do that, when you get with somebody that has kids already you treat them as yours
Did u or did u not have those kids when got together? Did he or did he not take u and your kids as 1? I would not under no circumstances deal with that in any shape or form. U r definitely a better person than me cause I would have called them all out. No matter what the kids should be treated equal, blood or not. Absolutely disgusting behavior from grown ass people. U need to get it together and move on. U deserve better and so do ur kids. Hell u need a family to be a part of, come on over u can be a part of ours. We treat everyone we love and respect regardless.
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my mother once told me she gives better gifts to other grandchildren because theyâre âusedâ to it.
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Kids should never be treated differently! Theyâre yours, biologically or not!!
I had the same problem with my ex family through out the years we stopped going over there to their place ex no longer here so now they definitely donât go no more itâs very hard and sad and upsetting when they favorite other grandkids I remember they will buy my kids a shirt and they would get a smart tv or video games for the other grandkids when my kids only got stuffed animals or board games!Not fair and not cool at all!
I battled this for years and years. My kids didnât even care if they saw their families. I made sure to go the extra mile with my kids. They have turned out wonderful people. The other kids not so good. Some in prison, some drug addicts. After they lost those people they didnât know how to live. I made sure my kids were well provided for myself and did alit of apologizing to my kids over them. Now my kids are wonderful human beings. You just do for your kids the best you can itâs a losing battle.
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Your kids are most important. Get out while you can!
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Well darling get your babies and get the heck out there like the devil himself is chasing you. Nothing good will come of this. For the sake of your babies safety get out while you can. Always put your banies first no matter what.
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So wrong, you dont do that to innocent children, and adults should know better than that!
I would sit down and have a conversation with my S.O. Then together talk to the in laws.
I would do my research first on the long term effects to your children and to his child.
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Leave. It will not get better. Show your kids they mean the world to you.
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Take your children and go !
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Iâd leave so fast no body would even see my heels
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Time to fly little dove
Hit the road pronto been there
You need to tell the grandparents; no gifts for any of your children if she canât get them the same thing. The POS you married doesnât need to be yelling at anyone period or he can hit the road hard.
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Giving whatever gift they want to whomever is the right of the giver. At least the âstep-grandchildrenâ get something to open. My parents give to my brothers step daughter the same as their âbloodâ grandchildren because she was 4 when she came into the family. They have never given any gifts to my current step kids and I donât care. They were all above 14 when when things were made official & they have their own grandparents that give to them. Now the hubby is a different issue. All kids living under the same roof should be treated the same.
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Iâll make them mad and get a Bigger gift for your kids Next year and put it under their Tree.
Just to Piss them Off!
Theyll get the hitâŠlol
My own mother does it also.
She has 3 grandsons she spends $200 each and gives mine $50 gift cards âŠ
She said because they live a bad life
But they get Free Christmas gifts from donations ,their mother and other grandparents.
But whats worse is I had to go shopping with my mother to get my 3 nephews their Christmas gifts .
So this year we didnât invite her over for Christmas Dinner.
She was alone with my single brother had Late dinner at Waffle house.
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I dont play that. My mom plays favorites between me and my sister. Fine we are adults I can deal with it. But then she started playing favorites with our kids and I cut her out of our lives. Now she cant play favorites đ€·đ»đ and as far as their dad and step mom, they dont do favorites. And neither does his family.
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You cannot make others do right, no matter how strongly you feel. Get your kids out of there. Itâs wrong and abusive. You need to break that atmosphere and show them that they are not to settle or made to feel un- appreciated and unimportant.
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My boyfriendâs family wonât have anything to do with our kids. They havenât called to check on them, wrote to them, sent a card to them, video called them, nothing. They have their other grandchildren over for sleepovers and do other fun things with them, buy them gifts, take them places etc. but havenât even met either of our children. We just cut them out of our lives all together and if they ever want to be a part of our kidsâ lives 
theyâll have to wait our kids are adults and decide for themselves. Weâre not going to let crappy family members make them feel unwanted.
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I would be so gone! Especially if you have already confronted the problem!! If not confront them!!! Iâd blow a fuse on every single one of them!! I can only imagine the hurt in a childâs heart feeling less to someone that is supposed to love them!
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Ya know what. Let your kids, they are old enough call them out. Just point blank ask. Why? Talk to your kids before hand obviously, but if they are old enough to ask you why they can see the wrongness of the situation. Let them ask in front of everyone why doesnât they get real gifts? ECTâŠ
My problem with this is Every time I did anything with my own kids as well as my step son my stepson father would say why are you getting for your kids my son lives here they donât. They get child support from you thatâs all they need. You should be more worried about my son. I would tell him I am but I can do things with my kids to. If you donât like it oh well. Still til this day if my kids come to the house it big fight afterwards
All of the adults need to be on the same page ⊠your kids should not be treated as second class citizens in the family and your S.O. and his family would not appreciate it if you treated his child that way. If they canât be treated similarly, then find someone who will do so.
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My exs wife refused to let my children come to âher homeâ they got nothing for Christmas and her children and family amd some kids she adopted for Christmas had a nice one though
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Screw that! I wouldnât participate and would send back everything they get all the kids, saying if itâs not equal itâs not needed by any of them
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I would leave now, they will never change and things with you SO with only get worse towards your kids. Please take it from someone whoâs been there, save your children from their heartache and mistreatment, LEAVE
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Try having a talk with everyone and if nothing changes then itâs definitely time to go. No reason for your children to be treated like that 
My in laws are the same way. We actually said if we continue to see this, we will not be in attendance of any event and we actually havent seen them in over two years. It was treatment wasnt fair but not so much gift giving. But kids should not see that they are treated differently. Thankfully my husband was on board ans never had an issue with him. But he needs to see it as an issue for counseling to go anywhere but is def a good option
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Maybe try counseling with the S.O. and then with the kids to.
If that does not help then yes its time to leave for both you and your kids happiness
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Iâm only saying this bc I was in your daughters shoes at one point in my life⊠it will most likely only get worse. Im sorry to say, but its the truth. Good luck making your decision
If itâs your SO time to dump! My Mom wasnât the greatest but when my step fathers parents did approximately the same gifts or none at all fo me or my sister she sent them back. That didnât keep her from demanding more from me than them when it came to cleaning the tub or dishes, because their mother never taught them.
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Does his daughter live with you ? Sometimes people feel guilty about being the non custodial parent and will allow behavior they would not tolerate normally. (Not to say it is right)
So sad my mom did that to grandkids and till this day my kids hate her that hurts she should of bought all the kids the same amount of stuff never do that to kids there not stupid sad Iâm sorry that hurt my kids when we went to my moms no gifts for my kids but gifts for certain grandkids judgement day will come tell them ask them why did she get a tablet and your kids socks all my grandkids are mixed I live them all and if I canât buy all the same amount of money then no I wonât do it it was done to my kids and my kids hated my mom sheâs dead now
Sounds like its time for you to leave. If the kids are seeing it and nothing is being done ur showing ur kids this this how ur âlovedâ and should be treated. No no no
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This breaks my heart. I would leave. Itâs not right, I wouldnât even be able to tolerate it from the grandparents let alone the husband. If your kids notice and itâs having an affect on them itâs time to move on.
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My in laws favor my stepson over his little brother, âours childâ it hurts . I told everyone how I feel and my mother in law is acting like Iâm crazy when she straight up told me that she doesnât want to babysit our ours child because â heâs too crazyâ sheâs always buying my stepson stuff and not his brother. Sheâs even friends with the baby mama.
If my daughter and bonus daughter arenât treated the same, I donât care who you are, Iâm out. My fiancĂ©âs family treats my daughter the same they do my bonus, and both are treated the same by my fiancĂ©. My bonus daughter isnât my step daughter, sheâs just mine because thatâs what I signed up for when I got with her dad. My family though never treated my step sisters the same they did me me my sister so they ever treat my bonus daughter any different they lose all of us cause I ainât playing that or hearing my kids ask why theyâre treated differently. Theyâre kids. Love them equally. End of story.
If your S.O cant treat his and your children equally then you need to start thinking of your own. Your children shouldnât be feeling like that. Itâs sad to hear. Especially if youâve already had to have that conversation with him. Do you know how toxic that sounds? Do you really want your kids to grow up thinking that it is okay to be treated different? Especially having their mum let it happen? Get out now cos he ainât ever going to accept your kids
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I went through as a kid same thing got 1 pair of socks with other grandkids got the outfits shoes socks the works and it bothered me i now have g-kids and great g-kids of my own and i will never do that to them!
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If the kids see it, and youâve discussed this with your SO and nothing has changed, itâs time to move on.
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You are showing them what to tolerate when they grow up, teach them they and you deserve more than that 
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Donât bother just keep your distance been through this I donât let people like that mess up my life or my childâs all your child ever needs will come from you remember that
Itâs time to go. Will only get worse- not to mention that it is bullcrap they treat the other kids like that
Leave. I am sorry but live has itâs limits and Iâve dealt with some BS before but NEVER would I let someone disrespect my daughter.
Please find the strength to leave you and your children deserve more x
Time to say bye,. To that S,O,B,and donât look back , l love my wife kids with all my heart ,
Unfortunately itâs that way in a lot of blended families 
Screw that. I had that kind of family and i have cut ties.
Itâs definitely time to go!
It will never get better. Iâm sorry.
What is SO?
Sorry but I really donât know 
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Big red flags⊠your children will remember thisâŠplease dont allow anyone to treat your kids sevond best!!
I bern there so sorry
My husband and I donât treat our 5 children differently. I think its time to have that talk with your husband. His answer might be your answer.
My question. Not to offend you but was it like that before marriage. Because I wouldnât have married him if he/family showed that kind of behavior. If you accepted it before. Why not now? Thatâs something you need to discuss with yourself.
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I think it depends on the family.
For eg. My mother in law spoils her bio grandchild more because sheâs all he has on that side of the family. Whereas my other much older kids have my side & dads side and step dads side. My child with my second husband obviously doesnât get anything from my ex husbands side.
If that doesnât make senseâŠIâll reword it.
My toddler may get more from Nan then my other kids - but they get more in the end as they have a whole extra side of family
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You need to leave. Thatâs such an unhealthy environment for your children to grow in.
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This just disgusts me, to be honest⊠and Iâll share my own recent experience to show whyâŠ
My husband and I have been together for 9.5 years. He has a daughter from a previous relationship who is now 10 and I have a son from a previous relationship who is now 12. Both of our childrenâs other bio parents have issues with drugs and being consistent in their kidsâ lives. But we still make sure their other families (grandparents, aunts, uncleâs, etc) see them especially for special occasions like birthdays and holidays. Just yesterday, we took them both to see their other families for Christmas. Took our daughter to her grandmothers on her motherâs side, and do you know that both she and our daughters uncle gave BOTH children (including our son who has no biological relation whatsoever, my husband was never even actually married to his daughters mom) the exact same value of gifts - in this case it was $100 gift cards each. We then left from there and took our son to his grandmotherâs on his fatherâs side. And donât you know, they BOTH received (again, no biological relation, I was never married to his father either). In this case it was a gift bag of goodies to each of their liking. Now 1 side was able to give more than the other, but one grandmother is a little more well off than the other. The POINT is that with each family, BOTH children were included equally with absolutely no biological relation to the âotherâ child. But they all know that we view both children equally as brother and sister and therefore our children are respected as such.
Favoritism is NOT ok! These kids do not understand the adult decisions that are made, and therefore should always be treated as equals.
Our children may be a bit of a different story than some others, as they were both very little (10 months old & 2 years old) when my husband and I met. So they have grown up basically their whole lives as siblings. But regardless, after FIVE YEARS of a relationship, there is no reason this should still be an issue for you.
Prayers for you and your family, but I 100% agree that your situation is absolutely not ok for your babies!!
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Leave. Ik people are saying " youâll probably never find someone that will love your kids equally " but A you probably will and B even if you donât. I personally think its better to be alone than have your child grow up with a broken self a steam and confidence issues from being yelled at for nothing and treated like nothing while his family treats his kid like a princess
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Thankfully my husband donât treat our kids differently. He did in the beginning when we first started dating but as things got serious, we had a talk and I told him my feelings and he then started treating them all as his own. He didnât realize he was doing it and changed his actions. However, his family hasnât gotten the memo 
No matter how many times I explain it to them, his kids are still âmore important and more lovedâ. My family treats his daughter the same as my children but his family wonât. Iâve tried to cut contact but he wonât. His mom is slowly coming around but you can still see and feel the favoritism. It sucks. My kids are 7, 9, 10 and 14. His daughter is 6. And we have an almost 1 year old together.
If your kids can see it then it must be obvious - leave
Favouritism damages families
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My family doesnât play step family or foster kids or half siblings. He learned it from his parents and probably wonât change. If you have set the example for years and he hasnât caught on he wonât. Leave and wait until someone treats your children as you and your children deserve.
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Yelling at a kid for beating the other in a video game? Something very wrong there. Time to leave. All theyâre doing is teaching your kids they arenât deserving of unconditional love- the condition is that in their eyes your all not blood.
After 5 years that should NOT be the issue. Maybe some of that would seem normal out of awkwardness IN THE BEGINNING but 5 damn years?
Their is absolutely nothing wrong with you for wanting to leave.
My sister and I were ignored at our step-family functions. They were in our lives from the time I was 10 to 17, and my sister 4-10. (Then my step-father died). I wouldnât say we were crushed or we were affected for our entire lives by his familyâs treatment, but it hurt our feelings. We did have our bio-families/grandparents to offset their ugliness. Krista Fernander Shumaker
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Nah. If my kids arent treated equal we arent going. Thats one thing i wont stand. If ya treat billy jo and barbra jean like royalty. You sure as heck gunna treat my kids good too. If not. Kiss where the sun dont shine
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Leave him if he isnât mature enough to know your kids are his and they should be treated as equal then he isnât ready to be their father and do you really want to put your kids through that
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