My husband and I have a 3 year old boy (he just turned 3 two weeks ago) and for the most part he’s a wonderful kid. He’s always so happy and upbeat, he’s a lover, loves mom and dad more than anything, is so smart. We adore him and we show it. He is very spoiled, I mean VERY. If it were up to me I wouldn’t buy him every single toy. But dad gets him 3-5 things every store visit. or will literally go to the store for no other purpose every weekend just to get him a toy or look for new monster trucks etc. It melts my heart how much his dad loves him and bonds with him over monster trucks and spider-man toys but I do mention often that if it were up to me I wouldn’t buy him as much. Anyways, i’ve always been against hitting any child. I didn’t get spanked and I didn’t want to spank my child. My husband got spanked. And he believes in it. He had agreed early on and that he wouldn’t spank him and that he would let me handle the discipline for the most part because he works a lot and we want our baby to enjoy daddy while he’s home. the last year ive been so confused on how to handle my child. He does some crazy things like he’ll break stuff or touch things he not supposed to or try to escape and go away outside. he never sits still. always has to be up to something. I get it, he’s a boy, and I get he’ll do crazy things but my issue is when I tell him not to he will continue and find it funny. and he won’t stop no matter what I say or do. finally about 6 months ago dad had enough and started telling him “no!” or he would slap his hand (happened 2 times now) or tap his butt (has happened 3 times now) and although it breaks my heart I also am at my wits end almost and feel like there’s no other options. Ive tried getting to his level and speaking softly to him about why we don’t do things. ive tried taking things from him gently and he just hits or freaks out. it seems like even tho he’s only 3 he knows what’s wrong and right and knows he shouldn’t do something yet still does it. Idk. I told my husband this week that the spanking or yelling is not okay and not going to become habit. he’s fine with it. but he also says I need to find a way to deal with it then because it’s frustrating and that’s the only way he knows how. I guess i’m just looking for advice on how to discipline a 3 year old. because i’m lost. he’s our only child. and he really is good. everyone around us (even at his brattiest) says he’s better than most kids and we should be proud but we both don’t see it that way lol. we think he’s a little bad.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How do you discipline a toddler?
Big little feelings on IG has tons of tools for gentle parenting!
Parenting classes would benefit both of you
Time outs and consistency. Seriously go watch 3 episodes of super nanny lol
Redirect and repeat often… kids forget easily
Id stop buying him gifts all the time for a start. Hes being taught he will get what he wants. Why is he being so spoilt? Is it guilt from a parent? Parenting classes would be a great start.
Consequences for bad behavior. If you do that again…no going shopping with Dad this weekend etc. You have to take away things that matter or he won’t see a reason to stop doing what he’s doing. Just my opinion. Kids always try boundaries. He sounds like a very normal little boy!
A grown ass man slapping a baby’s hand Jesus christ. Stop being lazy and teach him right from wrong. He does things you tell him not to for your reaction. Don’t react to him doing something you don’t want him to do. There are other ways to teach children.
Go back and reread the part where his dad makes special trips to buy him things… that’s a big part of your problem! Take control now or you’re sunk!!
Definitely stop spoiling him!
My son at 3 years old was racing B M X at 5 he was the state and national champ 3 year old has to learn they have NO SAY on anything except abuse
Y’all literally making a fool of this child buying him everything under the sun & wonder why he’s spoiled & acting out.
Move the things he’s breaking or touching and lock the door so he can’t get out !!!
You have to have consequences for actions. He knows he can wear you down and get away with it. It is normal but if he touches something or does something wrong he needs to be told you will set on a chair if you do it again. If he does then follow through. Set beside him to keep him there if you have to but ignore the fit. It is hard and drives you nuts. Parenting is hard!!
Kind of sounds like he created that monster.
Stop buying so many toys & use time outs instead of spanking
Seems he needs something to let out his energy/behavior.
To be honest nothing that you wrote is very concerning, he is acting like a normal 3 years old, but I do think that now is the time to set boundaries and to discipline before he gets out of control .
A spank now and there is fine ( a spank it’s not abuse )
You have to be very very consistent with your method of discipline, time out , taking toys away , send him early to bed etc .
And yes , you need a lot of patience because kids tends to not listen and you will have to repeat the same more than once
Putting my son who is also 3 in sports seems to help a lot he is in soccer.
Reward for good behaviour as he obviously likes toys. Do a star chart with a toy as reward
Redirection and modeling.
There is zero impulse control at this age, and the prefrontal cortex is not developed. He is still learning. Children learn everything. And need to be taught how to “behave”, how to handle their emotions, and just how to live in a world not designed for children.
Highly recommend both taking out some children development books and reading them.
Big Little Feelings
Synergy: gentle parenting resources.
Dad buying him everything he wants, is a big problem! I know you don’t agree with spanking him, but a little pop on the bottom hasn’t ever hurt anyone. Just my opinion.
Although dad means well buying him so much when he’s misbehaving so much is rewarding bad behavior and that’s not ok. Your teaching him he can behave however he pleases and nothing changes. He has no consequences to his actions. Yelling isn’t ok but a stern voice is. And considering your with him most it need to also come from you. Imo there’s nothing wrong with spanking done correctly. A pop on the hand or bottom when he’s done something particularly bad is fine and gets the point across. So often people thinking spanking means beating your kid for literally every infraction and it doesn’t. Be consistent with punishment as well. When you say it stick to it.
Sounds like u just explained my son to a t who is also 3 lol a Savage but a lover at the same time talks alot but won’t go potty
Imo, punishment fits the crime. I’ll slap my toddlers hands for trying to play with outlets. I’ll spank them when they’re playing on the stairs, intentionally break something, that kinda thing. But for tantrums I just talk to them. I’d like to point out that what works for me may not work for someone else. Also, I see star charts in the comments and I think that may help you. Teach your son to not be a spoiled little jerk and teach him that no means NO.
I feel for you. My situation very similar I have a 3yr old boy that doesn’t stop. Melatonin at 7pm is the only thing that relaxes him and helps him sleep well
Try time out. Pick a time out spot and have him sit there until he’s ready to behave. You also have to stop letting dad buy him so many toys. For the toys he doesn’t play with anymore, maybe teach him to donate those toys to other children who don’t have toys at all
It’s really funny how these people are always asking for advice as to how these children should raise their parents,
Tell him NO and mean it follow up any punishment - dont just say it - STOP SPOILING HIM - he has to learn he wont get everything he wants in life
Kids need discipline. They need limits. You must be firm sometimes. Even to the point of sternness. Especially if he does something dangerous like going outside without you watching him. You must be willing to take toys and put them up as a form of discipline, not giving them back for 15 minutes so he gets the message. If he hits you, catch his hand and say, “No. You don’t hit Mommy.” He will probably give you a pitiful look and then cry, but don’t back down. Say, “I’m sorry, Son, but you have to learn right and wrong.” He won’t get that right away. But the more he hears it, the more he’ll understand. After the time is up. Give his toy back and say, “Ok! Let’s play!” It will take time because he will resist. He won’t get it at first. He just went from a baby who didn’t have restrictions to a bigger kid who now gets told no. But it will be ok.
You could try timeouts 1min for the age of the child. Has to face a corner no talking. If they disobey then add one min.
You are creating this problem. Correct it now or pay for it bigtime when he’s older! It will only get worst
And the no spanking is your problem. There is a difference in abusing a child and spanking one. Time outs and sending them to their rooms don’t work. You need to nip this problem now. When he is older it’s not going to be any better.
Instead of just buying the toys, use them as a reward system for good behavior during the week. Even try using a behavior chart. So many stars through the week earns a shopping trip with dad for a new toy
Spoiled rotten. There has to be repercussions for bad behavior…he’s literally begging for discipline by continuing to do things, he knows he’s not supposed to. Do something now…you are the parent…otherwise you are going to have an entitled miserable son. He has to know consequences…good and bad.
I feel like we are in similar situations and I have been putting him in the corner when he hits out of anger and also try and explain to him it hurts. He only stays there for a minute right now. He’s also 3 and we just started time outs this week and he’s already doing better.
You answered your own question! Spoiled!!!
BUYING THE KID THINGS ISNT THE ISSUE my son acts the same way and doesn’t just get things randomly like this child does. Don’t sit here and say that it’s because the father buys the kid new stuff as that has absolutely nothing to do with it. We are going through this exact same thing and nothing works
Why did you call it hitting when it was about you and spanking about your husband? Can’t have both. You are too soft on the little boy. You should to put your foot down with him. He will cry but that’s life. Right now you are raising a spoiled brat. I have two boys, and using the whole “ I know he is a boy” is an excuse you are making. My two boys knew from a young age, what no was and what they could and couldn’t do. Instead of your husband buying him stuff all the time, why can’t they bond over the stuff the child already has? How are you bonding with your son? set the rules up front with your child. He is acting out be sue the knows he can.
So basically yall have a spoiled 3 year old bc yall give what he wants when he wants it and then try the “gentle parenting” approach when he acts up… not going to work at all. He’s going to be a very entitled child if you don’t start laying down some actual punishments.
Why does daddy only get to have fun? Should you also not be able to have fun with him? I think discipline should be the responsibility of both parents. Why does one parent always have to be the bad guy? When my kids are with my husband and they need to be disciplined, he does it and then I back him up and visa versa. Time out is so very effective and give him something to think about in time out and then make him answer you when he gets out. That way they understand why they are in time out and then they think about the next time and how they can change their behavior to not be put in time out again.
Goodness this post makes me feel like I am cruel with my 2.5 year old. I’m sorry but he is doing something that could cause him his life, a spanking is worth it. Going outside without you, no way! Breaking stuff means he turns over a toy. Don’t use the excuse, he’s a boy. That’s not okay
Tell dad to stop buying him toys until he learns how to act… he is getting rewarded for his bad behaviors!
Tell Dad no more toys. Don’t even use toys as a reward. Use experience as a reward. For example: you were good all week, so this weekend we’ll go to the zoo. Misbehaving, take toys away and lock them in a tote til behavior improves. Touch something he isn’t supposed to? Time out. Sit on the time out chair 3 minutes, he gets up sit him right back down. You cannot only partially enforce. It has to be EVERY time. Consistently. No excuses.
If you don’t want to spank try timeout. You have to be consistent with it. It 1 minute to his age. If he keeps getting up you add a minute. When timeout is done. You get to his level an tell him what he did. An repeat over an over. An no TOYS!!!
Start time out a minute per age so he 3 so three minutes when his time is up you can explain why you put him there and follow there no mean no and yes mean yes for the toys maybe let him donate to a charity that helps i’m privileged children have toys to play with that they would not have other wise .I watch the Super-nanny jo frost that how I learn to do the time out the correct way also and it does work if done right.
You’re creating a monster.
Little kids arent THAT sophisticated that young to just talk to and reason with.
For his " saftey" you need to get ahead of this and be THE ADULTS in the situation.
A TIME OUT in room AND/OR taking away toys especially when hitting or freaking out.
NO YELLING or angry voice.
“THANK YOU” for the good behavior in a Firm and Directing towards good behavior. “Better Next Time”
A pat on the hand or the fanny doesnt hurt at that age.
ENJOY your GOOD BOY.
Correct him now or he’ll run you2 over with a real monster truck in a decade…,as a joke…Not necessarily spankin but let him know now that bad behaviour got consequences.he misbehaves maybe no access to playtoys…,the old ones and also go slow on gettin him new ones.at this stage his brain is on programming…and you’re there to help him know what behavior to pick.overpampering him now is trouble waiting for him and you too in future.
Sounds like he is trying to get attention. Try a “time in” corner where when he is acting up you go to the corner to calm down and spend quiet time together reading a book or playing a game.
Number 1…you cant reason with a 3 yr old…
You said that you are telling wut you don’t want him to do and wut not to do. I’m not sure if you have tried or even said it in this way, but kid’s that age you have to tell that what you want them to do, not wut u don’t want them to do ie say you say " Johnny don’t hit ur sister" instead you should say " Please stop hitting your sister "
There is nothing wrong with tapping his hand or his butt, its not abuse. This is whats wrong with kids now a days, parents are afraid to discipline them, you are creating children who don’t have a clue about consequences.
I hate to break it to you but everything you’ve mentioned is developmentally appropriate for a 3 yo. Being a boy has nothing to do with it, he’s 3. To expect a 3 yo to be still after asking less than 40 times is wishful thinking. He’s learning his boundaries he’s learning consequences and he’s learning how certain things make you react. He also is just going to want your constant attention, and misbehaving is a great way for them to have that Yes the spoiling isn’t great but that’s not causing the behavior. Being a 3 yo is. Patience and consistency is all you need. Try to put yourself in his place, what was your thinking and rationale like at 3?
Idc what anyone here says unless he’s being bought toys immediately after having a tantrum about it, the toys aren’t causing these behaviors. His age is.
Sounds like my 4 year old she actually was recently diagnosed with ODD aka Oppositional Defiant Disorder
You said dad has started tapping his butt and slapping his hand, firmly stating no! . I don’t see a problem with that if he isn’t listening and time out or talking quietly isn’t working. You don’t say when the spanking or yelling began but do say you want it to stop???
Some kids require firmer discipline and boundaries and act out when they don’t get them or if there are inconsistencies. Some will act out to push your buttons when as you say, they know right from wrong, know what behaviour is acceptable.
Your partner is right though. If you are frustrated with how he is dealing with it then you need to find a way to deal with it. He comes to your rescue and then is shamed for how he handles it. That isn’t fair to him.
Also when it comes to buying him things, I’d stop all buying except the weekend trip with dad and put limit of one item. That is their time together to bond as you stated. Your son doesn’t need several toys a week or a toy every store visit. Remind your partner that while it may be cheap now as he gets older the cost of buying items are going to get much more expensive and your son will still be expecting them.
46 years ago I was given the 2 best pieces of advice on parenting I ever got.
- With everything, start as you mean to go on.
This means to give limits, boundaries, consequences now to get the behaviour you expect as they age. If you don’t want him ignoring you or laughing at you when you are correcting behaviour now you need to restrict it now. If you let it go now the child will expect you to let it go later.
The other is quite similar.
- do not back down, or have loose control as it’s much more difficult to reign in a child raised with few limits or consequences than it to have control from the start. This allows you to loosen your control as they become more responsible as they get older.
It’s pretty self explanatory.
There are many parenting programs out there but if you are going to participate in them I suggest you and your partner go together. Every class is different due to the dynamics of the individual participants,meaning each class learns the same curriculum differently. This way you and your partner learn together and takeaway the same information which ensures you are on the same page in dealing with the discipline. Also you can both ask questions and hear the same responses and examples.
Good luck to you and your family.
Hope you find a way to harmonious disciplining of your family.
He knows exactly how to push your buttons and you are allowing him to do it. If you do not put a stop to it (yes that is involving spankings NOT BEATINGS NOW) but spankings, being put in the corner, Having what he likes playing with took away from him until he learns, Hun if you do not he will be out of control before you know it. . Spare the rod spoil the child comes in effect that means if you do not correct them when they do wrong. They will surely be in trouble alot …
Nah… If I tell my kids to do something or stop doing something they get one warning and then I would definitely punish them. And gasp… Ive spanked my kids. Some more than others. My teens still tell me everything. But he will just get worse if you dont do anything.
Yeah dad also needs to not give him everything he wants. That’s one of the reasons your kid acts out.
idk but 3 year old boys go thru a bad stage,(i know my 2 grandsons did )and seemed o get better when they passed 3 they are 6 and 4 now and nothing like they were at 3, hang in there ,no spankings by me at all
I don’t need to read all that to say…dont hit, even toddlers, ya just don’t hit ppl no matter the age unless they are a physical threat to you which a 3 yr old is not…so hubs needs to learn real quick some conflict resolution skills. And you explain and redirect with a toddler…endlessly…that’s what you do. He’s being a normal 3 yr old.
The whole “even too he’s only 3 he seems to know better” is BS…no, it honestly doesn’t matter how he seems. He’s 3…his brain is only developed so much. He doesn’t know better and now your husband is teaching him that when ppl aren’t perfect we hit them.
Spat on the but or a tap on the hand not hit a tap to get his attention is not going to hurt him. And that’s after you have gotten on to him. Last resort
With raising my kids you don’t need to be buying them toys they need your time, that is the most important, not the buying of so much stuff. As he gets older he will expect it and trust me it will get worse and his attitude will be a lot to handle and you both won’t like it very much especially the teen years. I would stop the buying of so much stuff and take him to the park more where there is other kids and let him play on the kids equipment and have fun:) Kids need this not buying so many things and getting his way all of the time… I had three kids, sadly one passed away at 3 years old your sons age, you don’t want to go through that.Make changes now now before he rules your house
Your child is a perfectly normal 3 year old. They are not mini-me’s. They are not little automatons who obey unquestioningly. And that’s a good thing.
Nobody forces you to hit your child… if he doesn’t have respect stop buying all the toys… he is only 3… you understand that YOU are the problem!?! Mama of 8 and not once have I ever needed or wanted to spank them… fix you while he’s young…
Three is a boundary breaking age. They will push you to see where they can get away with things. I recommend watching how super nanny helps with regulating that. It’s on Hulu and she doesn’t yell or spank. Have hubby watch it with you! It helps. I watch it with my kids and we all agree with setting rules and point out bad behavior together. Taught them how parents feel too, that was a plus!
For our son spanking ( on the hand ) or time out did nothing and he would do exactly what he got yelled at for immediately after time out. For us taking away his favorite thing worked best and he needed to earn it back with making good choices. He loves legos and video games or going on youtube to watch videos of mario brothers game being played level by level. Mind you he is 6 and autistic and we use that as good behavior and bad behavior consequences he knows when he comes home from school he has to show me his chart for the day and if he got green and blue he can have video games or mommy’s phone for 1 hour and if he got yellow or red no legos or electronics at all that includes t.v. for the day. On those day we read books or play with his other toys. It works and we did it without yelling, spanking or time out meltdowns. I also have a behavior chart at home that we go over everyday and he has magnets he can fill in his behavior for the day to earn rewards and the visual aid helps him want to make good choices.
My kids were badly behaved as toddlers cuz I was lost as to what to do. I went in a Christian retreat in the mountains and a 70 year old lady named Sally told me if you spare the rod you spoil the child. Nothin wrong with a pop on the hand or the butt because you cannot reason with a 3 yr old. That’ll get his attention and teach him ok mom and dad don’t like when I do certain things. He’ll also realize that when he’s being good he doesn’t get disciplined
I send my daughter to the corner it’s 1 minute per year. Or I make my daughter go lay in bed until her attitude changes.
Time out in the corner, loss of toys & a tap on the hand or butt is ok *especially if words aren’t working … Hitting, beating, using a belt or paddle isn’t ok but a smack on the butt here & there is fine … You need to set boundaries now or he’ll be out of control by his teen years … Being nice, talking softly is all great if it’s working - it’s not - discipline the kid … If he was getting close to something that could hurt or kill him you need to be able to tell “STOP” & he needs to obey you - if you’re telling him stop now for “little things” & he’s not respecting your directions he’s not going to bat an eye when you try with words when he’s older … Toughen up & come halfway with your husbands method - I bet he stopped doing whatever it was he was doing when dad popped him on the butt - didn’t he !!!?? Dad is right - get on the same page with Dad or your kid will be a hellion when he’s older …
First, stop the gender stereotypes. By spoiling him, the message is, “We’ll fulfill your every wish.” By not being on the same page on discipline, there’s no consistency, so he doesn’t know what to expect. This is a huge problem for a 3 year old.
Your husband needs parenting classes to get on the same page with you. Currently, you’re the disciplinarian and he’s the fun parent. This won’t work. You must be a team. I also recommend couple’s counseling if getting on the same page is challenging. I’m guessing there are issues from each of your childhoods that surface here.
Take all the toys away for 3 days, see if he is capable of using his imagination.
Kids crave discipline, a light slap, time out, restrictions, extra chores whatever you choose he needs to know you will not budge no matter what tactics he tries. You get about 12 years to help him make good decisions, and at about 15 your role will change, in which you need to ask yourself, do you want him to seek you out for guidance?
Continue to spoil, cave in, cater to every want/need and he will expect it the rest of his life. Tell dad to take the toy money and put it in an account for when the kid is 60
duct tape / wall lol
Omg tap his butt, get his attention and lay out the rules. He will be fine. That’s parenting not child abuse. But you and dad have to be on the same page. Once he gets in pre k he will be a nightmare for teacher if he doesn’t listen.
Talk to him and find out why he does what he does. Ask him how we can change the behavior and follow his lead. It will help you and him in the long run. Look up conscious discipline.
We take my son’s newest toy away or favorite for two days and time out as well. But my son can’t help some of his issues but we still do discipline
He is 3 and doesn’t know right from wrong but spanking is perfectly fine it’s not abuse and spoiling him is only going to turn him into a monster
Ok, I’m not a fan of spanking but have swatted my girls booth a time or two, not hard but it got her attention, now if it’s to a point where I need to regain control, I definitely will say “or you’ll get a spank” and she quickly shapes up. But if you’re taking stuff away and he freaks out…. Let him freak out, ignore him and stay consistent. He will get the picture and it won’t be his reaction for very long. Good luck mama!
Absolutely stop with the toy buying. How many toys does he need? and your teaching him more things mean love. What ever discipline you decide be consistent. No more than one warning. Always follow through. If you don’t you will never win. Keep the doors locked so he can’t run outside. But be careful to praise when he does something right or good. Other wise he will act up for the attention. I also agree that rewards should be special treats or experiences not things. It won’t take long for him to realize that there are consequences for your actions good or bad.
Did I write this and forget? My 3 year old is the same damn way. It’s so exhausting. No advice here but solidarity sister. I feel your pain.
I like star charts and prizes, with the frequency of gifts though it won’t work. Children like to see progress, if he can associate good behavior to something positive it should make a difference…positive reinforcement…I believe spanking should be limited to dangerous things such as leaving the house without you or something that could really hurt him
Get a little chair and put it somewhere and call that time out space if he is naughty call time out and he must go sit on that chair and calm down
You say “if it were up to me” well news flash, it IS up to you! And dad saying you need to find a way to deal with it🤣 disciplining is for both parents to share, he sounds lazy putting it off on you. You both are creating a little monster who won’t be able to handle the word no. It doesn’t matter if he’s a boy, that “boys will be boys” is dead and gone. Both of y’all need to grow up.
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A little pop on the butt or a spoiled and entitled kid that grows into a monster adult…not much of a choice
A child who always gets what they want will learn that actions have no consequences. I spanked my kids once and I bawled so I get where you are coming from. My best advice is to remove privileges, toys, etc
Ima parent of an adult girl that is Gifted, she has THREE gifted daughters! I have learned the hard way what works. *Tantrums: emotional blow-ups are the result of anger and frustration at not being able to say, do or get what he wants. He’ll have a very short fuse when tired, hungry, bored or frustrated. Tantrums are a way of letting you know: “I really need a drink/snack/toy/nap — right now!” *Contrariness: Your toddler is in the early stages of forming an identity separate from you, and part of the process is deciding if you want it, he doesn’t. His favorite word: NO! *Offer choices: Toddlers are all about independence and control, giving them a little more say in their lives. Two choices are enough for this age group, for example, “What do you want to do first: brush your teeth or put on your PJs? ”Keep your cool: Toddlers thrive on attention-positive or negative -if you overreact when your child intentionally dumps his cereal, or has a meltdown in the grocery store, you can bet he’s going to do it again. Calmly let him know that we don’t pour our food on the floor or scream when we can’t have another cookie. Keep it short and simple (no lectures, please) or you’ll just confuse him. *Nip tantrums in the bud: Minimize meltdowns by finding out what triggers them. If your tot always loses it when he’s hungry, make a point of having lots of healthy snacks on hand. If he gets upset when he has to leave the park, give him lots of warning (10 minutes, five minutes, two minutes) before you start packing up. Limit visits to trouble spots, such as the toy store. *Take a time out: By the time your child is three, time outs can be an effective discipline tool, say the experts. If your tot angrily whacks his playmate over the head, take him to a designated time-out area where he can calm down and get control of himself. Explain to him what he’s done wrong, using simple words like “no hitting.” Time outs should only last for one minute per year of age, to a maximum of five minutes. *Never ask more than twice, and NO bargaining! STOP saying "you wanna do this? then you have to do that!
• Ask once nicely (“Please put your toys away”).
• Ask a second time, but warn of a negative consequence if your child doesn’t listen (“I asked you to please put your toys away. If you haven’t done it by the time I count to three, I’ll keep them from you until tomorrow”). Avoid making unrealistic threats like “Slam that door and you’ll never watch TV again!”
• Apply the negative consequence, if necessary. “If you as the parent, don’t make good on your promise of discipline,” “you lose credibility.” Be consistent! *1. Stand firm.
We all hate conflict, but if you don’t stick to the rules and consequences you set up, your kids aren’t likely to either.
Pick your battles.
Give the small things small attention and the big things big attention, and you’ll be happier and calmer — and (bonus!) your children will be happier, calmer and better behaved too.
Praise, don’t punish.
Try to practice “good feeling” discipline most of the time. “Simply put, your tone of voice, your behavior, the words you’re using, should all feel good to your child 80 percent of the time. If you can do that, you can do no wrong.”
Set clear rules and expectations.
A carefully selected bunch of age-appropriate rules can make family life a whole lot smoother and easier. For example, the “no cookies before dinner” rule prevents regular arguments about snacking before supper. The “no computer after 10 p.m.” rule stops a nightly dispute about shutting down the PC.
Provide unconditional love.
Yes, it’s a no-brainer, but children need to know you love them, every day, even when they’ve done something bad. Best of luck and love!
To be clear a spanking and child abuse is 2 different things. I’m a firm believer that every child at some point will need a spanking. This might not be a popular statement but it is one that works. Children need to know who’s the boss and that there are consequences for misbehavior.
Take away a favorite toy and tell him he has to earn it back or you will take another then another until he starts being good
He doesn’t need every toy. Children are overwhelmed if they have every toy. Experiences will be remembered forever. And follow through.
Lol oh man honestly ? U guys are asking 4 it…& ur a gluten 4 punishment…he now expects things from u guys…ALL THE TIME. & he only just turned 3 ?? I feel bad 4 u 2 a point but on the other hand I don’t… congratulations u just created a monster
If it were me - I would take him by the arm firmly, not meanly and take him and set him down. Sit beside him until he settles down and tell him that that is not acceptable behavior. At least 5 to 15 minutes. If he does it again do it again and do not make it pleasant. Tell him why it is unacceptable. It is a very hard age, but you must be the parent! Or he will be an unacceptable adult!
Be careful. My kids were spoiled and they are now 16 and 12. Smh I’m telling you right now your setting yourself up for future punishment.
They are only little for a short time as it goes fast , IF HE IS BEING NAUGHTY JUST TAKE AQWAY SOMETHING HE LOVES THEN GIVE IT BACK WHEN ITS ALL OVER . HE IS JUST BEING A AVERAGE BOY …
I used the rule for any child a time out. Their age +2 I told my kids what they did that wasn’t appropriate and then they had to sit I turned a timer on. Kids need to be taught what’s right and wrong. I always phrased you can do this or that. Sometimes Don’t do that they don’t know what you mean. You need to be specific, your going into time out for breaking your toy. Sometimes kids associate something with the other their brains don’t work like ours. The time out chair usually worked for my kids. I have a boy and 2 girls. Same rules for everyone.
Try the 1,2,3 method as this was very effective for me and my children so it might work for you. Also time outs should be no longer than 1 minute per age. So in this case 3 minutes. 1-2-3-Magic: The 3-Step Discipline for Calm, Effective, and Happy Parenting - YouTube
i spanked mines hand and said no
I’m firmly against spanking too. Not only is the line between discipline and abuse too thin and easily blurred (my father definitely called it “discipline” when he’d send me to school with welts down my legs), but the point of discipline is to teach consequences…and outside of drunken bar fights, etc, being hit isn’t a natural consequence for behavior. It’s confusing and teaches the wrong lessons.
I used to work in the 3 year old room at a daycare, and we’d use time outs. The time should equal the child’s age, so a 3 year old would get 3 minutes, and the time restarts if he leaves the spot where you put him. You can also use a playpen or simar containment place if he constantly refuses to stay. The biggest thing is that he isn’t allowed to do anything fun until he’s served his time.
I also agree that he shouldn’t be getting so many toys for no reason. I’m not sure what the psychology behind it is, but kids seem to become super entitled and act out when that happens; a friend of mine had to limit the number of gifts her kid opened on their special days because she noticed their behavior got way worse for the rest of the day.
3 is a hard age, but consistency and structure will be your best friends.